My hubby and the hubbies of three friends (same daycare, not longterm pals) were given a girls day retreat by our hubbies to take for the long MLK Holiday (no kids). One girl will drive as her SUV is the most reliable. Issue? She says that she will not pitch in on the gas (5 hours each way) as its her car (wear and tear). I am okay with it, but one of the other ladies is balking.
What is fair?
Ask this one who is balking to drive then. If she can’t, say it will be $x for the rental then plus gas. See what,she says. I think she’s being unfair. 10hrs each way is plenty of wear and tear to not chip in for gas. I have to wonder if this will go well if this woman is being so petty already.
I see her point of view. If you all pass through toll roads, that charge goes on to her car’s account–and you all have not taken that into consideration. The tires will wear on a 10 hour road trip, too.
Gas split 3 ways is very little–about 4 fillups. And as a gesture, I would also suggest that you guys put her gas tank back wherever it was when you all loaded in.
I think that is a VERY good deal for the rest of you–as she will do the driving too? A no brainer for me!
Yes, best this was discussed beforehand.
I don’t think the car owner is being unreasonable and the one lady who doesn’t want to pay should provide her own transportation if she is unwilling to contribute.
I don’t see myself behaving in the same manner as either of the two ladies who are already making this “fun” outing a little uncomfortable. I agree with Jill, is this level of confrontation something you would enjoy for a full weekend? I don’t see this as a “fun” group at all.
I think that is totally fair. Wear and tear is a lot for a 5 hour each way trip. Plus she has to be alert and awake the whole time while everyone else has the option of napping on such a long trip. The other woman is being cheap and unreasonable. Have her drive her own car following behind you all. Sounds like she will be a ton of fun to to take a long road trip with!! good luck!
Considering the cost of car maintenance, if a friend of mine is willing to drive, I am happy to pay for the gas. If they start out with a full tank, I fill it back up using my credit card when we get back.
She’s pitching in her SUV and driving time. She doesn’t need to pitch in gas as well. I definitely see her point and think it’s perfectly fair. 5 hours each way is about 700 miles (assuming highway miles) she’ll be putting on her SUV.
When we travel we split stuff up. One friend pays for the gasoline, one pays for the food, one pays for the hotel, etc…it actually averages out to be pretty fair. It does depend on how far we’re traveling though because the gasoline does get pretty expensive. If we go to a large city nearby it’s usually about $120 in gasoline. The hotel is usually for one or two nights so it’s about $150, and we don’t eat at 5 star places so food costs about $150 for a couple of days.
I suggest you all sit down and figure out how much the trip is going to cost and split it 3 ways. If she continues to say she’s not paying gasoline then consider paying her $X.xx per mile and be done with it. She can figure out the rest. Wear and tear is not very much. I’d just take someone else’s vehicle just to fight the principle of it.
If the trip is free and the only cost is the gasoline then it depends on how far you’re driving. If it’s hundreds of miles and the gasoline would cost $300 round trip it’s totally not fair for her to expect to get out of paying for $100 in gasoline. If the total gasoline bill is less than $100 because it’s close to your home town then it’s not worth it to fight over the issue. The difference between splitting $100 by 3 = $33.33 each compared to $100 by 2 at $50 is just not enough to make a friend difference.
So figure out the mileage, the food, the traveling expenses for everything that is jointly shared. Take off the gasoline and split it 3 ways then add the gasoline back in and split it 3 ways. If it’s under $50 difference I’d say don’t fight. If it’s more than it’s not fair she rides for free even if it is her car.
I had to go do the math. I figured out that from Witchita KS to Dallas Tx it’s just over 5 1/2 hours, and about 363 miles.
So if you are driving about 5 hours it’s about 363 miles. I divided 360 miles by about 15 miles per gallon since it’s an SUV. That gave me 360/15=24.
So it will take approximately 24 gallons of gasoline to get to your destination. Let’s call it 25 so I can do the math in my head.
25 gallons of gas each way so about 50 gallons of gas for the trip.
If gasoline is $3.5 per gallon, averaged over the different towns and places you could purchase it, then the total cost of gasoline could be about 50 gallons of gasoline times $3.50 per gallon or an estimated cost of $175.00. Or $87.50 each for 2 of you or $58.33 each between the 3 of you. That’s only a difference for the 2 of you of $29.17 or just about $30.
So either you and the 3rd lady pay the 1st lady $90 each for gasoline or the 3 of you ladies each pay $60 for gasoline.
OR you could work out a compromise of you 2 ladies paying her $70 each which would leave her to pay $35 for her own part. That gives her part responsibility for the gasoline but also gives her money for wear and tear on her vehicle.
But I do think that if this is just too much for the other woman perhaps taking a car which would give much much better gas mileage might be a better idea.
I usually pay for the gas if my friend does the driving. Not even just because of the wear and tear on the car, but because it is more tiring and more work for her to drive. So, when we get to the gas station, I just put it on my credit card. Chances are your friend will either fill her tank before you go or need to fill it herself when she gets home, so she will end up buying a tank at some point that is directly related to the trip. Each time you stop at a gas station during this trip, one of the non-car owners should just put it on her card. You guys can split the cost amongst yourselves but don’t make her pay.
Sounds fair to me. The other lady needs to see the whole picture and put it in perspective. This gives me a good idea next time family rides with us to Vegas in our SUV! Lol
I think that the lady who is balking can stay home or follow in her own car and pay all her own gas.
She’s right about the wear and tear. You gals are lucky that you have a vehicle that’s larger and someone to do the driving.
Dawn
That person is being selfish. Life isn’t free and your friend who is driving shouldn’t have to foot the bill. I suggest getting an estimate of all the expenses and then splitting it up 3 ways. Then everyone knows a general ballpark of what they will pay and then its not a big deal.
I have a friend who does very little driving. When we go to the coast, she buys the gas. When I take her to appointments she buys me lunch. The arrangement your friend with the SUV is suggesting is very fair.
OMG.
Nothing like a gaggle of women to dissect the minutiae to ruin the whole experience!
The others might not “like” it if driver doesn’t pitch in (which is whacked, btw!) but now others are bailing for gas to get to a FREE weekend? Lord!
I wouldn’t even want to go with people like that.
Well I think it’s fair that everyone chip in for gas, of course, and I certainly wouldn’t “balk” if the driver suggested this same scenario to me, but it’s only 3 of you and to be honest, if I were driving I would never just assume that everyone else should pay for my gas and I wouldn’t contribute a dime. Yes, I get that there is wear and tear, but I find it a tiny bit bitchy that she would just outright declare she’s not paying.
I get that you aren’t close friends so it might be awkward, but when I go on road trips with my friends (which admittedly isn’t that often 
we make it all work. I have driven before and looking back I don’t think I did pay for any of my gas, but I certainly wouldn’t complain if I did, I’m going on the trip too as a willing participant no less, so I would let it all work out naturally, but then again maybe I’m too trusting that people wouldn’t stiff me!
Have fun!
the driver is a little mingey, but not enough to let it ruin a fun trip. roll your eyes, tell the balker to get over it, and have fun.
khairete
suz
Sounds fair to me. Leave the complainer at home.
IMO, the driver is “paying” by driving and using her vehicle instead of a rental. I have often taken road trips where I ended up paying nothing for gas if I drove. If I was not the only driver, then we shared both gas costs and the driving. Is the other party balking because and SUV uses more gas than a smaller car?
She does all the driving. The rest of you split the gas three ways.
Additionally, please keep in mind that road trips make and break relationships all the time. There are marriages that avoid it because something about being cooped up in a small enclosure for an extended period of time can make some homicidal/suicidal. You guys are basically strangers. Keep that in mind when you can’t agree on temperature, music, snoring, who has a pleasant singing voice and who should just shut up, how you feel about the driving, etc. You already know that one of you might be a little nit-picky.
Person with the roomiest, most comfy car drives and pays nothing. She shouldn’t have to…she’s playing chauffer.
Everyone riding as a passenger in that vehicle splits the cost of gas equally.
If someone doesn’t want to comtribute, they can pay the cost of driving in their own vehicle. That should shut up the complainer.