I am in a bit of a pickle over the birth certificate. My childs father and I (who are not married but do live together) both work for the same company. The company is a "Christian" company and no one who is employed there is aware of who the father of my child is. Neither of us wish to inform our company of the true situation, as we are both afraid that one, or both, of us may be fired or "laid off" (which would truly just be a cover up for a firing) due to our "immoral" situation. And, as you can imagine, the idea of losing our jobs in the current economy with a child on the way is terrifying.
However, we would both like for our child to know that their father was a part of their life before they were born and did want to be a part of their life. In other words, we would like for the father's name to appear on the birth certificate and we would like to give the child the father's last name.
However, in light of the fact that we would prefer to keep the fathers identity private at our place of employment, how could we go about having the name on the birth certificate or giving the child the fathers last name? We are concerned that our HR department will be privy to the information on the birth certificate (which would have to be used by HR to add our child to my insurance). And, unfortunately, that will likely mean that the true identity of my childs father will become known (regardless of whether it is appropriate HR behavior or not - the place where we work is, unfortunately, full of idle gossip).
Does anyone have any advice on this situation? Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Is there any way that I can give our child their father's name on their birth certificate without having our HR department find out about it? If not, can the childs name be adjusted later down the road - perhaps if my partner and I were to marry (which is currently not an option due to financial obligations)?
Sorry, I'm a christian lady, but would not withhold this from my company for fear of anything! If they are truly a "christian" company, then firing someone for something like this is not only immoral, but also illegal! Your child doesn't deserve this.
I realize that your jobs are important to you but it sounds like you have to just take a stand. They are probably already gossiping about you as it is if you aren't telling people who the father is. They may already know. Regardless, you should not give up your integrity on that birth certificate for a job. That's my opinion.
Sharing your personal information is illegal. I doubt they are interested in being sued. Your baby deserves an identity. Someday your child will grow up and you will not be working there anymore and he or she will still have a birth certificate with no father on it. Like another poster said. They don't seem to have an issue with you being an unwed mother. If your dating is not effecting your work. Which it obviously isn't if they don't know. Then there's not much they can say about it, is there? Here's where you become a Mother and put your child first.
Not sure if this will help but when I've added my kids to my insurance my work only asked for the name of the child and his/her ss#, not the father's name. Maybe you could ask HR in advance what documents are required?
You can definitely adjust your child's name down the road. I deliver babies at home and fill out birth certificate forms all the time. One thing to consider is that although you can adjust your child's name legally later on, the original birth certificate will not change. They will staple and addendum to it showing the name change.
As the other poster mentioned, we didn't need a birth certificate either to add the baby to our insuance. Just a social security number. They will need the child's last name though.
All things considered, seems the best route right now. It's none of their business who your baby's father is. Sorry you have so much stress right now. I'm assuming they don't know you live together, etc. Yuck. Just when all you want is to focus on your new baby...
In some states the fathers child cannot be listed unless the couple has a marriage certificate. In others he cannot be listed unless he signs the birth certificate. This is to keep people from just randomly putting someones name down and claiming they are the father of their child. You need to check with the hospital about that or call the State Dept. of Vital Statistics. But either way company personnel should be bound by privacy laws in my opinion.
I get where you're coming from. I have worked for a few companies where dating another staff member was grounds for dissmissal. So I get your fear of being fired. Our compnay's policy (stated in the hand book in which every employee signs) stated so, and it is not illegal to fire someone for it.
Yes your baby's name can be changed later on down the road, like another response said they usualy add an addendum to the original cert. When your child gets older you can always explain the circumstances. I would contact HR and make sure they need the birth certificate, if they only request the SS card, contact the social security office and ask if you have to put the child's full name on SS card (I was told you have to, but I never talked to the SS office, I was told by the hospital admin).
This is such a tricky situation, I am sorry you're having to go through this. I hope you guys come up with a good solution. Good Luck.
I also suggest that you ask your HR department what they need to add your child to their records. They will not only need the baby's name for insurance but also for taxes. If they don't need a copy of the birth certificate or ss card then give them your last name only. When you file taxes give his full legal last name. It won't matter that it's different than what your employer has. Your employer only needs a name for their paper work and does not send your child's name to the tax people.
I am confused. Does your company policy state that two people who live together cannot work for the same company? Are either one of you shaky in your work record or still on probation. They have to have a reason to fire someone.
And.......do you say that you're married to someone else? I come from a very conservative religious background and being an unwed mother would certainly be consider more immoral than living with the man who is the father of the child.
I don't know your company. I've found over the years that once we start hiding the truth, life gets complicated and causes enough anxiety that life soon becomes less than happy. You have put yourself in a corner now by having lied already. I don't know the best way out of it but If it were me I would go to someone in the company who has authority and discuss this issue with them.
Yes, you can legally change the baby's name later. I'd ask the Bureau of Vital Statistics how that would be handled. When I adopted, my daughter was issued a new birth certificate that doesn't have any info on it that would indicate that I didn't actually give birth to her. So, it seems to me that with a court order they could issue a new certificate.
You won't generally need the birth certificate to add to insurance...but it may be needed down the road to verify dependents...we just did this with our insurance company (we needed two forms of verification). But, you may need the SS card. I was able to add my daughter with just the number, but had to provide a copy within a certain amount of time.
Have you already inquired what is required to do it? In our company, it is all done online. My local HR has access to the information, but the information doesn't go directly THROUGH her. I'd ask HR for the forms now and see if you will actually be dealing with them at all.
Names on birth certificates can be changed, but as some have mentioned, in some states they will issue a new certificate and in others only an amendment. You also have to consider that, just because you would change the CHILD'S name later on, it doesn't necessary make the father a legal guardian...he needs to be put on the birth certificate or declared as such in a court of law (after a paternity test in some states).
If your real concern is that the baby knows his/her father was involved from the start the child WILL KNOW if dad still around when the child is old enough to care. I was in high school before I ever saw a copy of my birth certificate...I knew by then that my dad was a good dad, but I also knew that my mom certainly did all the diaper changing when I was a baby.
If it is against a written company policy to "fraternize" with other employees, don't put yourself at risk. Know the policy and contact the workforce commission to know your rights in this situation.
If you are not going to be married, you need to have the father's name on that birth certificate to protect yourself and your child. It sounds like you are going to be the primary custodial parent, if the father's name is not on the birth certificate, and your current relationship with him sours, you will have to prove to a court that he is the father in order to collect child support payments. This is a responsible, adult choice to make, and has nothing to do with how you feel about him now, or if he swears to you that he will be committed to your child. If you are not going to marry you MUST take steps to legally protect your unborn child now.
Also, any HR staff member who violates your privacy by revealing something personal contained in documents you provide can be held liable in a court of law. Under federale employment guidelines, the company must provide a documented reason for your employment termination. You need to find out what your company's employee conduct rules are usually contained in an Employee Handbook of some kind that you would have received when you agreed to accept the job offer. Also, I would recommend finding out what your personnel file says about you (ie are you an invaluable worker with glowing annual reviews for the past 10 yrs, or have you received write ups for tardiness, insolence, etc)
Just curious, but why would you be concerned about your job security at a "Christian" company at this point if the father was revealed? Wouldn't you be more concerned for the past 6 months that you are walking around pregant and everyone knows you're not married and that you had premarital sex out of wedlock?
Do hope it all works out for you for the best, but it sounds like you have quite alot of work and some big decisions that you need to make immediately. Please don't put it off any longer.
You will have to give HR a birth certificate to have the child added to the health insurance. However, a birth cert is confidential information, and they are prohibited from releasing that information or they will be facing a law suit. You do need to consider things like a birth anouncements that you can choose to have printed in the local paper or by mailing.
I don't know about this, you should check with an attorney. It may be possible to list the father as unknown on the bc (of course this could also create the same problem) and then add the father's name at a later date. Note: it's not that difficult to change your child's name, however, it would be difficult to change the bc... best to check with an attorney
no matter who you work for it;s none of their business what you do when you get off work. so whether you go and exercise or had a baby by some you care about and not married to is really none of their business. even though you have to give them the BC for insurance reasons they have no reason by law to fire you, law you off. now i do understand the dilema you are in they may try and pull the lay-off scenario but i would print this post and take them to court and contact the EEOC. they say they are a christian organization but how crhistian would that be if they held who your sons father is against you? i wish you all the best luck and hope you are able to make a decision.
If you live together, it's a pretty good bet HR already knows. Companys have the addresses of where their employees live. (If HR allows an employee to enter a PO Box as an address, then HR has got some major problems beyond your situation.) Does the company have a policy regarding married co-workers (or dating co-workers)? Some companys have policies along the lines of personnel from accounting can not be with personnel from HR due to possibility of security risks of the sensitive nature of those depts. In some cases one spouse might have to leave, but in many places one spouse is just transferred to another division of the company and with the security risk negated, everything is fine. Know your company's policy - you might be worrying over nothing. On the other hand, if such a policy is in place, don't be thinking that the lack of a marriage cert will keep them from finding out and applying the policy anyway. You are essentially domestic partners and many equate that to a different kind of marriage. Honesty is the best policy.
Marriage is not an option due to financial obligations? Nonsense. A justice of the peace wedding is extremely economical (prices vary but you can probably do it for under a $100). You can have a reception or renewal of vows ceremony a few years down the line when finances are not so tight.
give the baby YOUR last name they may question but you have the right to not explain. then later down the road if you and daddy ever marry, and you're ready for true identity to come out, you can have it changed.
It is 100% illegal for anyone in HR to disclose any information about you or any member of your family...especially when it comes to health insurance (google HIPAA).
That said, it seems like you are really worried about it. I have 2 kids and we never had to provide a birth certificate to my husbands employer for health insurance. We had to provide birth date, full name and social security number. Perhaps you can put dads name in the father portion of the birth certificate but give baby your last name. I would recommed this for several reasons, one of which being that if the fathers name is on the birth certificate they are legally responsible for that child. God forbid something happens to you, he is listed as the childs legal/biological father. Also, if you all didn't work out for some reason, his name being on the birth certificate guarantees you child support.
Best of luck. I hope you don't have to hide this for too long.
Do you really think that no one in this company KNOWS that the two of you live together and that you are having a child together? I cannot imagine the stress of trying to hide this situation from everyone at work.
I know it is none of my business...but why not just go ahead and get married....unless of course one of you is still legally married to someone else.
Unless you are planning on carrying the baby on YOUR insurance, then HR is going to have to know something because they are going to have to be adding the baby to his Daddy's records!
I don't know if the HR company is covered under HIPPA since that has to do with medical information....but I do know that just because someone is not supposed to discuss private information...you can't count on that person living up to that. I work in a pharmacy and I can tell you that private information is unfortunately shared inappropriately sometimes.
FIrst, your unmarried boyfriend would be insane not to have the baby's name on the certificate because it is proof of paternity. And you would be insane too, because should you break up YOU could not prove paternity. I know you are in a relationship now, but you are not married and you need to protect yourselves and your rights and support for your child. DO you have an agreement about support?
Second, I didn't even request a birth certificate from my state for my kids until they were toddlers. Yes, at the hospital we put mine and my husband's names on the forms. But my point is, my company never requested a birth certificate. For insurance and benefits purposes, all we needed to do was "add" my daughter's name as a dependent and give them her social security number. The social security number came within about a month of her birth. So I suggest you check with your HR department to see what you will need in the way of documentation.
Last, I think it is awful you are in this situation and I am sorry it is an extra worry for you at this point in your lives. However, I am curious why your job isnt at risk just because you are pregnant "out of wedlock" - or do they think you have a husband? Just curious.