Hi Moms, I am debating the thought of putting my 13 months old son in daycare part time (2 days a week). I am worried that my son is not interacting with other kids. There are no babies/kids close to her age on our street. My friends do not have kids his age, most of them are way older. I am concerned that he is not getting a chance to interact, play and learn from other kids. he is very active and is always on the move. he gets bored with toys quickly and moves on to next thing so fast! he constantly looks for new interesting things to do, it is a challenge to occupy her.
On the other hand I am worried about the daycare centers- things I have heard bother me such as kids get sick all the time, strangers taking care of my baby, specially seperation anxiety . He had never been separated from me
if there was, it was not more than 3-5 hours during these 13 months !!
Any suggestions about this dilemma would be great!
I’ll be honest. I am so sick of hearing about people putting their babies in daycare for socialization. Join meet-up.com. Most kids do not play with other kids until 2.5. And most don’t play with others till 3!!!
There are 2 ways to look at this. 1. My kid needs to be with other kids, and how can do that? Daycare, McDonald’s Playland (this was my daughter’s favorite), park, mommy and me group, etc… 2. At what age does parallel play turn into interactive play? Do kids at this age really benefit a lot from having other kids around with the risks of daycare like you mentioned?
I do think that is important for you to have time away, and 2 days a week is a great amount to start! This is not only for you kiddo, but also for YOU so that you don’t get burned out.
Only you can make the best decision for you, but think about these things as well…Good luck, its so hard, especially with the first one.
Wait a minute! At 13 months he’s not supposed to be interacting with other kids. That doesn’t happen, developmentally until closer to 3 years.
I recommend, that unless you’re putting him in day care for your own convenience that you not put him in daycare. He will gain nothing from the experience. He is not developmentally ready for group experiences. Being in day care won’t hurt him but do not do it for his benefit.
I think Jenna’s post is meant to be sarcastic. I’m glad she posted because it does remind me that at 13 months your son has not yet developed a strong sense of security. Adding day care now is probably not a good idea because of his need to feel confident that you will always be there for him. When you leave him elsewhere he may become less secure and develop stranger anxiety.
I urge you to read up on child development so that you know what to expect at each age. In that way, you’ll better know how to meet his needs.
Hmmm…the fact that you call your son “her” makes me wonder if this is a genuine question or not. Assuming that you are sincere…
Are you a SAHM? If so, it doesn’t make sense to me to put a child that young in daycare if you are home and not working. For extra socialization, I’d look into programs in your area for moms and tots - mommy and me yoga or exercise classes, music classes, story time at the library, trips to the playground,etc. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, there’s probably a lot around you if you look for it.
I’d also read up on development so you know what’s typical of a baby this age. What you are describing sounds totally normal to me. Kids are challenging, all day long. He doesn’t need to interact, play and learn from other kids at 13 months old. You are all the entertainment he needs. Preschool when he’s 3 or 4 will provide all of the socialization that he’ll need to be prepared for Kindergarten.
If you really find it challenging to keep him entertained all day or find yourself bored at home with him all the time, then if you were to use daycare, I would fine a place that will take him for a few hours a day a few days a week. Most places are designed for parents who work full-time and don’t want to deal with part-time kids, but if you look around you can find providers. A few hours a week might be the break you need, but do expect the downside, which is that they really are germ factories. Even the cleanest, most well-maintained centers in the world are full of germy little kids and yours is bound to pick up bugs, but it’s either now or whenever he first goes to school so don’t let that be a deterrant.
My kids had excellent daycare experiences, but for us there was no choice as my husband and I both work FT.
When your child is about 2.5 or 3 years old.. Depending on the child..
Consider Mothers day out. Otherwise your son will be fine, just playing with you, or at the park with other kids.
There are also mom groups where moms meet up once a week or more often and the kids play.. At this age, your child is still naturally going to want to play alone.
Great age. I started mine at 18 mos and she had more stranger anxiety so Go for it!
I suggest you consider a Mother’s Day Out Program. Most child care programs charge by the week and you pay the same price if you go 1 day per week or all 5 days. They have staff and bills that have to be paid whether a child is there or not. So they do a flat rate.
In a Mother’s Day Out Program it is meant to be part time only. You enroll your child for only the day/days they’ll be coming. It’s very similar in schedule and activities. They do a lot of the same things. In child care they’ll provide a lunch that is the same for each child. In Mother’s Day Out they either have you bring a lunch or they are only half day.
I chose the age of 3. It took three day care centers before I found the one that I felt comfortable with even though I interviewed each one beforehand. I chose three because at that age my little girl was able to tell me about her day and that was very important to me.
Julie G., I am with you. Who has such extra money nowadays??
no child ‘needs’ daycare.
a working parent needs it.
a year old baby doesn’t.
1 year olds don’t need to be ‘socialized.’ they just need to be part of the world, and YOUR everyday life. if you feel your life is too isolated and doesn’t include enough other kids, find a park or a mother’s group or a meet-up or the library or go for hikes or…
khairete
suz
Little kids don’t learn from kids their age, they learn from adults (and from older kids).
At 13 months, they don’t play or interact WITH peers either, they interact NEAR them.. parallel play. The idea of children spending time with kids their OWN age is really artificial and comes from our age-based school system, it has nothing to do with infant and toddler development. Daycares group kids that way because they have similar needs and interests so it’s easier to care for them… NOT because they need to be around each other.
Daycare is for parents who need someone to care for their child during the day. You don’t need that. So you don’t need daycare.
When he’s ready for preschool in a couple of years THAT is the time to think about sending him off somewhere.
If you want him to have more interaction outside your household, take him to library story time, go play at the park and meet people etc… but daycare is NOT the answer to this particular problem.
HTH
Thea
Honestly, if you kept him home till pre-school (about 4 yrs old), he’d be just fine.
Babies don’t like to play with other babies - although they love to look at them.
Babies need interaction with adults - who talk with them and hold them - and that doesn’t always happen at day care as much as you’d like.
Now if it’s YOU that needs the break - for some down time to recharge your batteries - there’s nothing wrong with using daycare so you can do that.
I definitely don’t think day care is necessary for a 13 month old. Try looking up free activities in your city (such as library story time or mom’s groups) or signing up for a mommy and me class. One or two structured activities a week would be more than enough to get him used to being around other kids and following directions (even if its just “sit in mommy’s lap now”). These sorts of activities were great, not just for my kids, but for me – it gave me something to do and a chance to interact with other adults. My kids went to part time preschool at 3.5 and 2.5 years. The only reason I started my second child at 2.5 was because I was returning to work.
Why put him in daycare. If you want him to see other kids, check your library for story time type of classes, check churches. Gyms sometimes have classes for Mommy n Me. I took my grandson to a gym at a year. He loved it and got to see other kids. So if you are going to spend the money, spend it on something you can do with him. You will also meet new people.
I never did daycare with my kids, but they did get plenty of chances for interaction. I was in a couple of playgroups. I took my kids to the babysitting room at the Y so I could work out. I found out what time the local daycare took the kids to the playground and planned my playground trips to coincide. We went to story time at the library. We went to the Childrens Museum and the Zoo. Your baby will not play with other kids at this age, but he will enjoy playing near other kids and watching other kids, especially older kids. By the time he is three she will be ready to do a pre-school program a couple of half days a week.
My dd started day care at 18 months. She went 3 days a week and my Mother watched her the other 2 days. She did fine. She did get sick alot at first and was fine later. Kids that age don’t play together but she did like being around the other kids. She even called them “The Kids”. She didn’t start making friends until she was 3.
It’s up to you as to whether you send your son to day care or not. I didn’t have the fears that alot of parents seem to have about daycard. Just make sure you check them out. Go for a visit in the morning, around lunch and late afternoon to observe the daycare workers. I loved the Director at my dds daycare and she had wonderful teachers. Just do your research in choosing the right daycare. Good luck!!
There is no benefit for a child under 2 years old in daycare.
My kids went to preschool (2 days per week, half days) at age 4.
Instead of daycare, seek out parent/child activities. Create opportunities for your son to interact with others. That is one of the perks of being a SAHM, you can do it yourself rather than pay someone to do it for you.
I’d wait to put him in daycare until about 2 or 2 1/2. Until then you guys can do some playgroups or mommie and me type of activities. At around 2-2 1/2, he would benefit more from social interaction with other kids. At 13 mos, not so much. They are just not developmentally at a place where it would be beneficial.
I have a daughter in daycare, and sure she gets sick. But, as we have noticed with my son who also went to daycare, he rarely gets sick now that he’s in school. We’ve been there, done all them germs already!
Also, daycare teachers are strangers, but only at first. When you are ready, find a daycare you really like. Ours is great- everyone knows everyone else, and it’s like a big extended family. The teachers and directors even come to the kids birthday parties. I trust them wholeheartedly.
Don’t worry about separation anxiety in general. It’s a rite of passage with all mom’s and babies. And it’s almost always worse on the mom than the baby. 