I have a 1 moth old daughter who will only sleep if she is on my chest or beside me in bed. I have tried putting her in the crib or bassinet before she gets tired and comforting her when she starts to fuss, she will literally stay awake for hours. If she falls asleep on my chest as soon as her back hits the crib she is wide awake again. Does anyone have any advice on how to get her to sleep by herself?
My son did the same thing. I was nursing; so, I didn't mind him next to me, but it wasn't easy having him on my chest for a couple of months. And it's dangerous, because they can roll off of you without you realizing it. So, it's great that you're wanting to make this change.
When I changed his sleeping area, I did it during nap time. That way, I was fully awake (and more patient) when he was transitioning to his new area. Once he got used to that, then we moved him to his crib at night. It really just took a few days for him to get used to it, and you could put her in a bedside sleeper for a little while. Also, try incorporating your scent into her bed items, because that will help comfort her. So, maybe her sheets, store them with your clothes to get your scent...something like that. Hope this helps.
Trying getting a mommy bear from Babiesrus. Also you might need to try some white noise like a fan. You daughter is listending to your heart beat and breathing the white noise and mommy bear can make the same sounds.
If she's crying most of the time during those awake times, ask your pediatrician about reflux. Another culprit for fussy sleepless babies is lactose intolerance or milk allergy. If you're nursing, cut dairy from your diet for a week. If you're using formula, switch to a lactose-free version or to something like Enfamil Nutramigen. Either change will take 3 or 4 days to notice a difference.
Dear Melissa,
Your daughter is only one month old, I would not worry so much that she only sleeps on your chest. Just have patience and in time your daughter will sleep on her own.
Good Luck!
My daughter did the same thing but finally out grew it. The Doc said it was just cause they are used to the womb so much that being away from stuff is scary feeling almost like a falling feeling so to use swaddling and swinging and white noise. She was too strong so always broke out of swaddling but for about the 1st 3 mos or so she would only sleep on someones chest or in her swing that we were able to plug in to keep the swing motion. Once she started getting used to the bed a white noise machine helped. My daughters fav on her swing was the sound of ocean waves so at walmart near the candles I found a 5 in one noise machine for $10 that had the same sounds on it as her swing. You could set it to turn off in an hour or to play all night. Now she uses a fan for noise. :) Good luck - it gets better. My doc called it the 4th trimester lol.
I had the same issue with my baby girl (who is now 7months). I would suggest buying a swaddler (target $12). It's quite a drastic change from the womb to sleeping in a crib. This snuggles the baby and prevents her from accidently jerking herself awake with those arms she doesn't have control of yet. I might also suggest a pacifier. (buy one specific for her age $2) I was against it at first but it became the only way to calm my girl while getting her used to the crib and sleeping without me. I would suggest ONLY using it at naptime and phasing it out by the sixth month. (we are doing fine without it now)
Also it does take a while for some babies to get a hang of falling asleep themselves. Just make sure you have a nap/bed time routine, that you do everytime. Then she will begin to feel comfortable because she knows what to expect next. Be patient it doesn't happen over night and sometimes there are bumps in the road after you've gotten into the swing of it.
I hope some of this helps! Oh! I remember feeling the same way! It will pass soon! Good Luck!
my baby slept on my chest until she was prolly about 2-3 months old. then she slept in a co-sleeper for a few weeks, then to a craddle/bassinet at the foot of the bed and then to her own crib by the time she was 3 months old. It is gradual, ENJOY it, I miss those moments!!
I cannot tell you how much swaddling our baby helped her to sleep. You can always swaddle with a blanket, but there is a product called Swaddle Me (I think that's the name) that makes swaddling easy. You can find them at Babies R Us. My daughter slept swaddled until she was about 6 months old.
Also, my daughter always wanted to sleep "on" us and we finally figured out that it was because she liked the warmth. Everytime we would put her into the crib she would SCREAM...So, we slid a heating pad between the crib sheet and matress. We would turn it on a few minutes before laying her down so that it could warm up the sheet where we would lay her. That way, she didn't get that big jolt from warm to not warm. You just have to be sure that you turn the heating pad off before you lay her down and that the cord for the heating pad goes underneath the sheet and out the bottom of the crib so that there is no risk for strangulation.
Good luck...these can be challenging times...
Hi Melissa,
I have a different perspective if you don't mind...I say treasure the moment of her only sleeping on your chest or next to you. I won't last forever and this is a bonding time for you both. If you look at it as the glass half full...you have a great excuse to catch up your sleep. My mom and other mothers really encouraged me to sleep when the baby sleeps. I'm a pretty active person, so this was hard, but when I learned to do it, I really appreciated the time to rest. I know there is a point where they have to learn to fall asleep on their own and in their crib, but if at 1 month old it isn't happening I wouldn't worry about it. My 2 year old falls asleep at daycare by himself and at night, but on the weekends, he still let's me hold him and rock himself to sleep for naps...I love it! They grow so fast, try to enjoy each phase they are in b/c it will be gone b/4 you know.
D.
Hi Melissa,
I know that it is very difficult to do anything that will make your baby cry. I have two children, 3 and 10 1/2 months. This is a touchy subject for me because I handled this issue two different ways with my children with two very different results. With my daughter, who is 3, I allowed her to sleep on my chest and in our bed (I nursed her until she was 2 1/2 mos old) and it took until she was 11 months old to get her to sleep part way through the night in her own room. I spent the next year trying to get her to sleep in her own room all the way through the night. She turned 3 years old this passed April. She still does not sleep through the night on a consistent basis. My son, on the other hand, is 10 1/2 months old (I also nursed him until he was 8 mos old). I did not co-sleep with him and he has always been confortable sleeping in his own space (crib/pack and play). He does not experience anxiety when you leave him in his crib to fall asleep, whereas my daughter still needs reassurances, and constant attention to get her to fall asleep (and stay asleep). He sleeps through the night and has since he was 7 months old. My recommendation and advice is that you use the blankets or Swaddle me to swaddle your baby and make her feel comfortable so that you can transition her to sleeping on her own as early as possible. I know that these are precious moments that you will not get back, but you can cherish your daughter and love her in other ways (and other times, like when she is awake). If she does not learn to sleep on her own, trust me, in the long run it will affect your ability to sleep long after the baby stage has passed. I am 30, 2 kids, 1 pom.
I had the same problem with my son. We found that he loved to be swaddled but didn't like to lay flat (he had feeding and tummy issues for the first 3 months). So we let him sleep in his little baby papasan bouncer, it vibrated and was a life saver. We finally were able to transition him when he was about 10 wks old, but we elevated one end of his mattress and used a sleep positioner. It took time but it will all work out.
Just enjoy the time that she sleeps on you. I know I soak up every minute my 9 month old sleeps on me. It is my favorite thing about being a mom besides seeing his great smile.
Good luck,
Julia
I actually moved to the couch with both of my boys for about 1 month so that my husband could sleep. I was nursing so I was used to being up but from about 3 week to 2 months… they would ONLY sleep on my chest. My Dr. told me that if we were both getting some rest and we were being safe (keeping the baby near the inside of the couch or bed) then more power to ya'!
This too will pass; both of my boys were sleeping through the night by 3 months alone in their cribs.
Good Luck!
Ericka
My son did the same thing until he was 2 1/2 months old...then I put him in the bassinet and he stayed down. Now at 6 1/2 months he is sleeping for 10 straight hours in his crib...I miss him at night, but the sleep sure is great. Give it some time and just make sure you both get rest...
I have such sweet memories or the same thing!! Treasure every moment; it wont last long. At some point you will have to set a routine, we chose around 4 months. all the best, liz
I had the same problem with my daughter, hers turned out because she was cold! the first couple of nights was hard but just keep her in the crib she will fall asleep!
Awww! This brings back precious memories!
My son did the same thing. I admit, though, I absolutely loved it. I think I probably held him for the first 3 months of his life - straight through. :) Lot of people said I would ruin his sleep habits, etc, by letting him do it. But when I felt like he was ready, I transitioned him into his own crib and he did awesome. I think he was just the kind of baby who needed that extra TLC for a little while longer.
I have friends who swaddled and it worked wonders for them. My son was never a fan of that, but some babies crave that snuggly feeling.
Also, my son was a tummy sleeper. A million people will tell you not to do it. But you will also find a secret society of other mommies who know that it was a saving grace to everyone's sleep when they finally agreed to try it. If it totally freaks you out, spend the $100 on an angel monitor. But so many babies prefer to sleep this way.
Another thing to try is a white-noise machine. This machine might be soothing for her as she falls asleep and will keep her asleep no matter what is going on in the house. They are at Walmart and Target.
Good luck!! :) And before you stop sleeping like this, you should totally have your husband take a picture of it. It's a memory you'll love to have.
Sarah
My oldest was the same way and I can say NOW that I have sweet memories of it. At the time, I was exhausted. I would say she sleeps well like that because she can feel and hear your breathing and heartbeat. That is how she is used to sleeping..when she was in side you. She will grow out of it..the first 3 months postpartum are just a fog, especially with your first. It WILL get better..for me it was always around 12-14 weeks.
I would try swaddling her and putting a fan for noise in her room. I bought a little fan for $10 at Target that I keep on his dresser and it's perfect. Not only does it provide white noise for him, it drowns out a lot of house and outside noise.
You never know if what works for others will work for your baby! My friend got into the habit of holding her daughter to sleep (it was cute and sweet) and at the age of 2, was still needing to be held to go to sleep and would wake up when she was put down. Katie was EXHAUSTED not being able to get sleep when the baby was sleeping, she couldn't get anything done around the house because she was holding the baby, and got pretty good at tying emails with one hand when the baby took a nap. I know she is a big advocate of get them used to sleeping in their own bed. She is now expecting #2 and has learned her lesson.... she's doing it differently this time!
Good luck, and congratulations on your little doll!
~ t
Melissa, I agree with the "swaddle me" advice. There is a store in Grapevine called "The Nesting Place". The owner, Kay Willis, will show you how to use it which I think is helpful. She is a wealth of knowledge and is a baby junkie! She will sale you the item and fill your brain with lots of ideas at the same time at no additional cost! Also, ask Kay if there is a way to tuck a piece of clothing that you have worn in the swaddle me wrap, or even better, swaddle and then lay her next to you in your bed. She's only a month old and I would prefer that she be next to you, not on you! Then when its time to move her to her crib later she will be use to the swaddle me wrap and the transition will be easier. Hope this helps! Blessings of sweet somewhat interupted sleep!
Ann Crowell, CPM,LM