Melissa,
my daughter was similar (she is almost 6 months now)....I went and bought one of those things that proppd her up on her side while she slept-Sassy makes the one I have-she didn't like being on her back at all....my daughter would not sleep anywhere but in my arms or on my chest and I started putting the prop in her bouncy seat and eventually I moved it to her bed...she has been sleeping in her crib for over 3 months now! If I am not explaining this correctly just email me and I will give more details....good luck!
I know that it might seem hard and frustrating now....BUT just enjoy it because it will not be that way for long. I miss those sweet nights when my son did that. The first few months can be hard with the lose of sleep but it goes by so fast and pretty soon you will be looking back on this and remembering how precious it was.
My daughter loved swaddling. Also she likes to sleep on her side or tummy. I loved the baby whisperer books. They do NOT tell you to let her cry it out. It may work for wome, but I couldn't do it! But I got my baby on her routine and it helped so much! She is a champion sleeper, now!
I know this is not the advice you were seeking, but I think Elizabeth and Kristin hit it right on the nail. My Son is only 6 mo. and my husband and I already miss when he would just sleep for hours on our chests. Once they get mobile, that's that and they are off to explore the world. Enjoy that sweet little precious bundle and snuggle as much as possible... :)
Personally, I say enjoy it while it lasts! Most will disagree with me and that is okay. My 3.5yr old daughter still has trouble going to bed on her own but she is growing up so fast and there are more important battles for me to focus on...Now my 19 mo old wants his own bed and has no problem going to sleep by himself...He loved being swaddled in a blanket...
Hi Melissa,
I agree with Claudia T., so I probably won't be helpful to you, but try to cherish times like these, because I promise you they do grow up so fast! We have a 12 year old, and I can't believe the things I worried about when he was an infant (like when he would sleep through the night, introducing solids, etc.)
What I'm trying to say is that everything seems like a big deal when they're babies, but when you reflect back on it later, you realize that it wasn't really important in the grand scheme of things.
We have a 6 month old that we are just cherishing so much right now. He sleeps with us every night, and I am not going to worry about any little things this time around. You know that book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"? That's the approach we are taking this time.
Do what you feel right about doing. If it's a problem for you that she sleeps on your chest, then by all means find a solution you can live with. But, if it's a problem for other people (ie mother-in-law telling you not to do that, etc.), politely thank them for their advice and then do what you want to do anyway. In the long run, you are the one who lives with your baby, and only you can know what is right for her.
Oh, and it's very normal for babies this young to want to be in constant contact with the mother. That is nature's way to insure their survival. So, she's probably not going to be happy about being separated from you. Every baby is different however. Our first one didn't mind being in his crib and always slept there. This one has never slept in his crib. We tried it in the beginning, but he always woke up immediately when placed in the crib, so we realized it wasn't a good option for him. Just follow your instinct and you will come up with a solution that works for your baby and for you.
I guess bottom line is do what makes life easiest for you :) If that means sleeping with the baby (within safety guidelines of course), then do that. If that means having the baby sleep alone, try that. She will be more likely to do this as she gets a bit older and is able to sleep more soundly (ie 6 months).
One more thing...our 6 month old slept on our chest at first too, but at this point he never does that anymore. So, it won't last forever. He now sleeps next to me, but not on me. So, it will get better soon :) Hang in there!
Good luck!
Emily (mom to 4 blessings)
I am going to echo a lot of what is suggested. I do recommend swaddling, white noise, and a swing. I know it is great to have baby sleep on you, but one of my 2 1/2 year old twins who did that all the time as a baby has a horrible time sleeping through the night now and hates going to bed unless she is exhausted. I know it was because she spent too much time in the swing,or on me and did not learn how to soothe herself. Do it gradually, it is okay to let them cry a little bit. Swaddling did make a big difference! Maybe a pacifier or crib light? My other twin sleeps awesome through the night, and I would put her down when she was sleepy as she wanted her own space and wanted to be in the bed(she is still like that!). She loved (and still loves) soft blankies and her pacifier! I have had a lot of moms tell me that they utilized the Babywise method and that really helped. I have bought the book but haven't spent anytime with it (I am expecting my 3rd in Aug). It is pretty rigid sounding (the book), but I have friends that swear by it. Good luck, and take care of sooner than later. I wish I did! and I plan to do things differently with this baby.
Hello Melissa,
You daughter has YOU trained; you need to turn that around today, IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THIS SITUATION BEFORE IT BECOMES EVEN WORSE.
Get your daughter on a flexable schedule; feed her, play with her and give her some time to stretch, look around, listen to you read and watch you go about your daily chores, when you want her to go back to sleep, just go put her in her crib or bassinet on her back and leave the room; no need to return to the room until it is time for her to get up and eat again, then begin the routine all over again. At bedtime for over night, put her to bed awake, feed her again in about 3 to 4 hours then put her right back to bed. She will catch on to your way of doing things quickly and life will be great for all again. It will not harm your daughter to cry, it is great for your daughter to learn that she can comfort and put herself to sleep. She will find her thumb or fingers if she likes to suck, so you will not have to get her in the habit of finding her pacifier for her and going in and out of her room to put it back in. This is the best advice that I can give you and I guarantee that your daughter will be sleeping well within the next two weeks. You will have to be consistent and do this all the time, not just occasionally.
Phyllis
Hi Melissa,
My daughter just turned 4 months and you sound just like me 3 months ago. It was like a switched turned on and she would only sleep attached to me. I tried a schedule and routine, but it won't work. As one LC explained it to me, "there are some babies in this world that need a 4th trimester" and i happened to have one. And remember, they do not understand nor have the knowledge to manipulate you so don't worry about spoiling her. Once you can accept that, you'll be fine. I ended up with the boppy around me, in the recliner, laid back with her on my chest, protected by the boppy for several weeks. Around 3 months she suddenly got better. At 1 month she kept refusing a pacifier, but i kept trying at sleep times. Now, that is her routine...she's getting sleepy, she takes her pacie, put her in her bed (on her tummy) and she goes to sleep. I'm in the tummy sleep club too. it was the only thing that worked for her.
Another really good tip is to make sure she isn't cold. That ended up being a factor that helped us out. She loved the sound of the hair dryer, it would calm her to sleep. Now we have a white noise machine that she loves....(www.sleepwellbaby.com) they have free shipping!
Just remember, there's hope to sleep with your husband again soon. Like the other's have said, cherish these moments. She's only 4 months and i've been guilty to nap with her just to have that bonding time even though she doesn't require it anymore. Keep doing what you're doing, it will be ok. She will fall into a schedule very soon, i promise!
If you need anything else, feel free to send me a message. I have much sympathy for you!
Best of luck,
Jenny
I agree with the other moms that say treasure it. My youngest just turned one this month, and there is no way he would sleep on me now! He was colicy and had reflux, etc. The only way I got him to sleep on his own was by putting him on his tummy. I know they say don't do this until they can roll over, but I wasn't able to get a good nights sleep, so I tried it and it was the first time he slept by himself for more than 15 minutes. Everytime I tried to lay him in the side position swaddled in his blanket, he would undo the blanket and wake up immediately. Good luck!
Do you wrap her in a receiving blanket? ("Swaddling") My first son-- I never wrapped him up because I hated the thought of being "bound" and didn't think he would like it either. But, my mother-in-law (mother to six) told me that they feel safer wrapped in their blanket (consider the space they are used to before birth). I started wrapping him at night and he seemed to sleep much better. They also don't awaken as easy if you are rocking them to sleep and then putting them in their crib after. I wouldn't worry too much if she still wants to only sleep on your chest. This is wonderful bonding for the two of you.
I am a new mom to a 6 wk old. My son prefers being held, sleeping on my husband's chest or in our bed and has the same issue of waking up when I put him on his back in his crib. When that happens in his crib, I feed him or pat is back for a while until he falls asleep and them put him back in the crib and that usually does the trick. Swaddling and using a passifier also seems to help. Sometimes putting something of yours with your scent on it also helps. I would do whatever it takes to get you little one to sleep even if it is letting her sleep in your bed or on your chest for a while. It will get better. My little one is sleeping better just in the last few weeks. Good luck! Karen
My son was the exact same way for the first month! It was so hard to get him to sleep anywhere else besides on me! I started laying him down on his side instead of on his back. He woke up everytime I put him on his back, but kept sleeping when I placed him on his side. Hope that helps!
This was my son to a tee. And my mom was constantly on my case about it. I tried to get him to kay next to me with my hand touching him and eventually that was ok and then eventually the bassinet was ok. He stopped sleeping on my chest around 6-8 weeks old. Now he's almost 5 months and sleeping great, so there is hope!
one of those bears that makes heart tones. my sister-in-laws have both said their kids went STRAIGHT to sleep when they attached them to their cribs. They just hook onto the side. Your daughter is so used to hearing the sound of your heart. It's like a bunch of kittens and a clock. Whenever we had a new kitten when I was little we put this travel analog clock by them under a blanket. They cuddled up to it and fell asleep instead of mewling all night long. It's a security thing...They want to hear something familiar while they sleep. She's used to hearing that particular sound, so try something like that :).
Your risk of SIDS if she is in a soft, warm bed (yours) does increase exponentially. My son was the same way and we spent a lot of time walking around with him, or him sleeping on our chests. But I have also heard stories of children who died from SIDS while laying on a parent's chest. (Which really blew my mind, because I thought they would be stimulated by the parent's heartbeat.) Anyway, I realized that part of the problem was the coolness of the crib sheet, I think it woke him up after getting used to being held all the time, and maybe the lack of movement. I tried rubbing the sheet with my hand to kind of warm it up, swaddled him, and placed him in the crib while rocking him back and forth, and then continuing rocking him with my hand in the crib a little. It was kind of comical. Just keep at it, (pacifier helped us)putting her back in the bassinet. Eventually she'll get the idea. As long as she isn't hungry or wet. Honestly, no baby every died from crying for a few minutes, too many babies have died from SIDS. (Crying for more than a few minutes, you should check them, my daughter was crying once because my long hair that was falling out post-partum had wrapped around one of her toes). It'll get better, honestly!
Thanks everyone for all of your great responses. I know it has only been a couple of days, but I did the swaddling and the white noise and it worked. Well kinda…She is sleeping in her bassinet for about 4 - 5 hours when I first put her down at night, but after the midnight feeding she still would rather sleep with me. So, some progress is better than none. Of course the first night she did this I didn’t sleep very well because I was so use to her sleeping on me. Since I know that it is not really a bid deal, I still secretly enjoy it. Thanks again.