XBOX Or Game System Rules

You do know that Xbox live is a pay service. So the online aspect can be controlled to that extent. FYI, PS3 network is free which is what we have.
Our 13yr old has friended a few people online that he doesn't know. It is regular people that he plays with online, they tend to stick together once they have played a few times. Most of his online contacts are known friends/relatives.
I have noticed the language online is a little rough and not language that our son uses, but no worse than what your son is already hearing in school I can assure you. As long as your son knows what is acceptable in his house, what he hears online will go in one ear and out the other.
His time limits are 2 hrs a day during weekdays and 5hrs for the weekend, to use at his discretion.

During the school year they are allowed to play on Tuesday's after school, then Friday evening, if we have no other plans they can play as much as they want. The rest of the weekend they can play if they have friends over or go to a friends house. (For some reason I find it more acceptable for them to play if they are with friends. Sort of like drinking. It's normal to have drinks with friends, but to sit at home drinking by yourself means you have a drinking problem. LOL) During the summer they play a little more often. I just try to keep them busy doing other things. I even allowed them to bring their iPods camping this year and let them have a little downtime each day to play on them. I do not and will not pay extra for Xbox Live so that isn't an issue. They do play Minecraft online on the pc and they play with kids they don't know, friends of friends...

Okay, so first, if you have an issue with language then remove the XBOX live. You can not control what other people say online, and there are some amazingly disgustingly bigoted things that come out of people's mouths. ESRB does NOT regulate online interactions, so just because a game is rated 10, or T etc. does not mean that is the age group that will be playing. I have quite a few games that are rated T(teen) that are played by myself and other adult friends and regarding online there is language. Most games are open to the community online, not just your friends list, so while he may be playing with friends he could also be playing with random adults or other kids.

Regarding how MY house handles video games, we do not allow online interactions for my son. If my nieces and nephews are allowed it by their parents they are allowed it at my house by me when they are over. My son is on a specific Token System where during the day for doing various activities he earns said tokens. Video games cost a certain amt. depending on the system, we have Wii, DSi, 3DS, PS3, Nook, Computer. Now that it is summer/weekend as long as he has tokens to spend he can spend them all he wants. During school, there are priorities such as homework, but my son does better with a break afterschool so if he wants to spend tokens to play when he gets home he can, but then homework is done next. Bottom line, no tokens - no video games.

Oh, and Video games do NOT contribute to ADD or ADHD it is a neurological disorder that you are BORN WITH! Before you start spewing false information do some research.

We have XBOX.
It is not my kids'. It is, my Husband's.
I would never get my kids their own Xbox.
But well my kids are 6 and 10.

Sure, it can go online to play with friends or strangers.
But, per our Xbox, whatever is done on it, my kids have to ask.
And they do.
But they are not addicted to it.
At all.
But they like it.
Even if it were their own box, the same rules would apply.
They HAVE TO ASK US FIRST, with whatever they want to do on it.
And the box is where everyone can see it.
We, do not let our kids, play LIVE/online with people or strangers.
UNLESS my Husband is also, playing that SAME game too. At the same time. Because multiplayers can play.

It does not matter how "mature" a kid is or not.
My 6 year old is mature and smart.
So what.
And just because I say no, and my kids "rebel", so what.
I am their Mom. Not a buddy.

We do not let our kids, play live or online.... when they are playing games. Be it the Xbox or with tablets or computers.
No.
And no is no.
BUT if my Husband is there playing too, then they have played live.

In the Summer, I'm not home to enforce screen time rules. So I use parental controls to back me up. The kids know that they get 2 hours total screen time per day in the summer.

Here's some information about how to set the X-box's parental controls. There's also information on how to put in limits on being able to add/request friends on X-Box Live, and what kinds of games they can play. I think you'll find it very helpful.

http://support.xbox.com/en-US/billing-and-subscriptions/p...

the kids I nanny for get 1/2 hour of screen time per day. that is total screen time be it tv / video game / computer 1/2 hour total time. and that is after homework and half hour of reading is done. Now having said that they are allowed to earn a little extra by doing extra reading. The extra reading is up to a half hour a day that is it. And they are not allowed to do the friending thing at all.

The kids are 9yr boy and 12yr girl.

Well, in this instance where they actually talk to them and have that much contact...no way in hell. You can't hear what they say when you go to the bathroom or when you have to answer the phone. He could be sharing way too much information.

I'd sit right there each and every time this person is online with him. That's how I'd get to know the person.

My grand kids have FB accounts, yes, they are below the age limit. It's no one else's job to police what I do or do not do my the people in my home. Quite frankly, it's not any of their business.

I do have their ages online as adults. The kids don't know their own email addresses nor their passwords on FB. Only hubby and I can access their accounts.

My grand kids are friends with who "I" say they can friend. I have allowed a lot of friends on there that they do not know personally but these are friends of my friends kids and they personally know them. If they are good enough people to be friends with their kids then that's good enough for me. I have very good and strict friends too.

At this time the kids have no interest in going on their accounts except to play games and visit with their mom, one of them is friends with his dad but has never met him. They chat with my ex (grandpa) and his wife, they chat with their siblings, etc...they don't have too many friends from school or any organization yet.

They are ONLY online when I or my hubby is in the room. I have cautioned them about playing games with people they don't know, how they don't really know who that person is, that they could be pretending to be friendly and nice just to get information from them to come and hurt them.

I have been totally honest about the dangers of the internet and more. I don't trust them as far as I can toss them. They're kids and they'll make mistakes. That's why their computer is in the family room right off the kitchen, the screen is where I can see it if I get up to cook, I am right there beside them and in the room when they are online because I want to know if they're getting in to trouble.

Do I think it's possible it will still happen? Of course it can. But I am doing everything I can possibly do to make sure that they have full knowledge of things that can happen if they don't pay attention and keep personal stuff private.

It truly sounds like they have plenty of fun on these games. I don't think you are letting them have too much. They have relationships with these people and are competing with them. They aren't on all day and into the evenings. I think you're doing a great job with the time limits you have in place.

My kids got 2 hours of screen time in 30 min increments. They had tickets. 4 per day. If they turned in a ticket for TV, computer, or video games they could use the item for 30 minutes. If they turned in the ticket at bed time, they got 25 cents.
I never allowed them to play games with strangers. Ever!
You friend a stranger, you lose Xbox for a month.
YMMV

Cancel the "live" part. They are WAY TOO YOUNG to be gaming online. It would be the same thing as letting your kids surf the web and go anywhere they want and have anyone contact them, for hours a day, with no supervision. It's addictive and more importantly, NOT SAFE. We have a PS2 and my oldest son is 15 and he knows the day that he can connect online and play with friends here is never.

As you already know, 2-3 hours a day is ridiculous. Limit to 30-60 minutes on a school day (60 minutes would be in the dead of winter when they can't go outside and don't have any activities to do that day) and use it as incentive to earn extra time on weekends. Good behavior, all homework done, grades are good? Bonus gaming time. I loosen the rules when friends are over because they tend to self-monitor by one kid getting bored and wanting to do something else anyway.

Again, I can't emphasize enough how far too young all of your kids are to be using the "live" part of xbox. I have a nine-year-old and I don't know any parents who allow them to game on-line.

I have a 13 yr old boy. My husband has a 22 yr old son from a first marriage. When my husband was raising his son (visiting him on weekends) he saw how addicted his son was to the video games. So from the beginning, we had no Game Boys or home game units. Everyone else does, so my son has played these things. It's simply not good for kids to get addicted to these things. It contributes to Attention Deficit Disorder. Because if you think it's bad now, fast forward to teen years when all they do is this, or worse, age 22. We have friends (they have PhDs - very smart couple) with 2 older boys and she said she regrets getting them these units. They don't listen when they are teens to those boundaries and you have far less control.

So that's been our approach. No Wii, no nothing. He can play at his friends house, but even that is frustrating for me because some of the games are M rated! I can't control what games my son is exposed to. But that is now so minor, it's not a worry. When he was younger, we got him an iPod Touch (I didn't realize it was a gaming system!) and I ended up hiding it a lot because I didn't want him glued to it all the time.

If you want to keep it, keep it for a time limit (google time limit recommendations for electronics). But if it were me, I'd sell it.

I will admit to allowing my kids to play games in the afternoon after lunch during the summer unless we're out and about, which happens more than not thankfully...but during the school year, they're only allowed to play games on the weekends...again if we're not already out and about.

I do allow them to play with our Kindle if we're at a restaurant. My kids are 8 and 4. My 8 year old daughter is never allowed online, I feel it's too dangerous to be honest. Your kids will be angry and you for all sorts of things; valid or not...you're protecting your children though they often don't even realize it.

You never want to experience your child being victimized in any way whatsoever, and you can't control everything everybody else does, but you do have the choice in allowing your son to interact and be friends with someone whom you don't know. There are adults out there who pretend they are children online seeing as you can't prove otherwise.

This is one potential danger you can actually avoid. When it comes to my own kids...my motto is they can just deal with it. I'd rather them be angry than harmed.

Just my 2 cents.