Christmas/Santa Gift Question

We just tell the kids that Santa follows each parents' rules. So we have no gaming devices and Santa respects that. Good luck :)

I always get my kids video games/gaming systems for Christmas because that's what they want. I don't like video games, but they do.

With anything, the iPad, etc., you have to monitor screen time. My SS was always very into video games, but school came first and if he didn't do his HW timely, he didn't get to play. We took the cables away. I would delve more into what he wants to play (does his friend have a game he loves?) but no harm in saying Maybe. I tell DD that all sometimes Santa thinks it's not a good idea, like if she'd asked for a pony. We don't have room for a real pony and he knows that. If you give cash, make it fun. Like get a superspecial ornament that has a pocket in it and put a tag on it and put it front and center on the tree.

i don't have an opinion either way on the wii or gaming systems in general. it seems to me that dealing with the santa issue is the underlying main theme of this question.

1) i absolutely think that disappointment is relative. no kid benefits from getting everything they want from santa, all the time. disclaimer- i may just be demonstrating sour grapes because i didn't get that pony until i was 29. :)

2) if you do decide to get a gaming system, then absolutely get the one he wants, and family friendly games to go with it.

3) well, that's not a bad option, it just doesn't really address your main concern which is that you don't approve of gaming systems and need to come to a conclusion about them. all this does is put off the decision for a bit. also it puts you in a cash-for-christmas position, which many people are fine with but i myself find pretty loathsome. taken to any logical conclusion everyone sits around on christmas morning and hands each other a fistful of bills. blick.

i don't think there's anything wrong with hedging his bets. happens to all kids at some point, doesn't it? he's pushing a little to see just where it will go. smart of him. so now's a really good time for YOU to decide just where your boundaries lie.

if that's more money than you'd normally spend, i'd be especially leery of going above and beyond financially for something you don't really want to get him.

don't understand your worry that it might not get used. i have yet to see one single solitary question here or elsewhere along the lines of 'how do i get my kids to play more video games?'
khairete
S.

So these are my thoughts, and I'm not intending to be judgy at all, because I had to go through the same thought process as you are going through. I am not a gamer-mom, and I had to adjust to the fact that MOST people these days play video games and have some kind of system. And that my son (also 9) ADORES them. So, some things to consider:

Video games, like all technology, are the wave of the future. I don't see them as "evil", just as something we can enjoy (those of us who choose to), in moderation, just like everything else. As long as your son has clear boundaries (and you stick to them) I see no reason screen time should be an issue. When time is up, it's up, and if he argues, screen time is cut back.

I do feel that kids benefit from "fitting in" and knowing things that their friends are experienced in and probably talking about. I did not want my kid to be the only one that didn't know how to play a video game when that's all boys his age talk about. No, it's not about "keeping up with the Jones", but it is about fitting in and socially succeeding, which is important at this age. My son also has ADHD so assimilating is a big deal for us. I didn't want another reason for him to be ostracized.

Last, heck, it's fun. My son, as I said, ADORES his video games. And you're right, the Wii has quite a few that are fun for the whole family. That's what we started with. We didn't go spend hundreds of dollars. We started with the basic games that came with it. Then we looked at used game stores, and birthdays and Christmases usually involved a game or two. You can actually get them really cheap. And because my son doesn't have things super easy socially or at school, to see him get SO much enjoyment out of something really makes me happy too.

So long story short, I got over my concerns once I took the plunge. In my opinion, it's a great idea for a Christmas present. But if you don't go that way, I hope you can find something else he'll equally love. Good luck, either way!

We have a Wii U system (and kids ages 9-15). We considered the system a family gift last year and have games that reflect that, most of them are multiplayer. It has been a lifesaver for stretches of bad weather when I can't just kick them outside to play (like this past Thanksgiving break). But beyond that, the kids may spend 2 hrs on it a week. But that is our experience.

I don't know about giving that much cash to a kid. Unless he is used to money, that can be a mine field when he comes home with $100 worth of candy. If you want him to value it, he can 'earn' time on the console, for chores, good grades, or other activities you deem worthy.

Otherwise, I would just tell him that Santa isn't bringing a Wii, what else does he want.

Updated

We have a Wii U system (and kids ages 9-15). We considered the system a family gift last year and have games that reflect that, most of them are multiplayer. It has been a lifesaver for stretches of bad weather when I can't just kick them outside to play (like this past Thanksgiving break). But beyond that, the kids may spend 2 hrs on it a week. But that is our experience.

I don't know about giving that much cash to a kid. Unless he is used to money, that can be a mine field when he comes home with $100 worth of candy. If you want him to value it, he can 'earn' time on the console, for chores, good grades, or other activities you deem worthy.

Otherwise, I would just tell him that Santa isn't bringing a Wii, what else does he want.

We bought a gaming system a few years ago.

My husband was against it.....and guess who was up late on Saturday nights playing golf, wake boarding, tennis and bowling?

Yep, for a few years we had tournaments. It was tons of fun for all.

It does provide entertainment (and movement) during these long winters......

Just set limits like everything else.....

I'd go with Option Nbr 1.

You really don't want this gaming system - so don't be wishy washy about it.
Don't give him an option to eventually get it.
Just say Mom has the final say so on what wishes Santa can grant and this one you didn't approve.
Santa doesn't like greedy and your son needs to ask for something else.

I am not really any help because we are getting my son and Xbox one even though he already has other game systems. He has not asked for anything else so it will be all he gets. I don't normally spend so much, but since we have it right now and he does not want anything else I am willing to spoil him. IF we did not have the money then I would more then likely give him cash, but I would try to make it enough that with the money he gets from grandparents and what he already has saved he could buy the game console without a lot of wait.

Why not get him a gaming system? YOU don't like them, but he obviously does. Most of my boys friends that come over want to play on the xBox. My son is getting a PS4 this year because that's what a lot of his other friends have, and he wants to be able to use both. My kids don't live on the gaming systems we have, but it's really nice having them. They are often up and jumping around while they are playing too.

I think you should get that for him. He's obviously asking for something really special, something he wouldn't get any other time of year. We don't have to love what our kids love, but we have to support them. Doesn't mean you have to get him the gaming system, but it also doesn't mean he should never get one because you don't like them.

I don't think he should have to save his money for it at this point, I think a month or so ago if you told him that it would be possible it would have worked, but not now.

We've done expensive gifts, like a WiiU, but it is a family gift not for a particular child. The key with that is whether or not you will play with your son. You could use this as an opportunity to spend more time with him, bonding over something he likes to do.

As for games, your son will probably mention his area of interest. My sons have occasionally played dancing games in other places with other kids, but have no interest in owning those type of games for at home. By all means get them if *you* want to play! I have a couple games my kids never play. For something everyone will like, try Mario Kart and Super Smash too. If you have a rental place locally, you might want to try before you buy. The Lego series of games is also single + multiplayer. (You will need Wiimote controllers. Those were separate when we got our Wii U.)

A heads up about Mario Party board-style games - they take time. The more people playing, the longer the game takes. I don't know about the most recent version, but in the past they were not the kind of game you could save and come back to finish later.

We have always kept it simple: Santa gives children what *he* wants to give children. Yes, writing a letter to Santa is nice, however, a gift is a gift. Just like auntie or grandpa give a child they gift *they* choose-- same with Santa.

Or you could go with "Ho Ho Ho, I heard you were saving up for a WiiU. This is to start you off." I think earning is a good way to go. Our son saved up $100 for a used iPad mini, we paid the rest (about $60). Yes, there's a good chance that your son will be like many other kids and it may become an issue--- and then you deal with it. Set expectations around when it can be used and when it should be off and put away. He's old enough to understand that if the device causes problems, the device gets put away for a while. :) Mine is 8 and understands this quite well.

I would get it for him. These are memories you are making and personally I would not want my child to be disappointed on Christmas. Then again I have no problem with gaming systems and think they are actually fun.

We did option 2 and I hated the idea of a system, too! But HE loves the Wii U, and so do his buddies, when they come over! Our son is limited to 30 minutes on school days and 60 minutes on weekends and summer. He just sets his iPod timer or kitchen timer. As far as getting bored with it, that happens, but like with all his toys he comes back to it again.

Unfortunately, this stuff is a fact of life and I caved, and I'm glad I did. I've even had fun with Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy!

Added: Sometimes it's just fun to get them what they want instead of making it a lesson.....

What you do about the WiiU is up to you. But as soon as my kids say they are going to ask Santa for something they know is not allowed at our house, I shut that right down by telling them that Santa knows the rules in our house, and he won't bring anything that is not approved by the parents, because he doesn't want to get them in trouble. He doesn't want to be responsible for a kid falling off the 'nice' list.

I would not get the gaming system. My son is 9 and he doesn't have one. He has plenty of friends and does not seem to be socially ostracized because of this.

If you don't want him to be disappointed on Christmas day (he will be disappointed but you have control of the timing) you could tell him Santa will only get gifts that parents ok first and he will not be getting the Wii. Then suggest he let Santa know something else he wants so at least he gets his second choice. And maybe Santa will bring you cash - you never know.

I'm not too informed on the gaming systems, but my daughter is. So I hear what she learns from the game magazines that she gets, and I have made numerous trips to Gamestop for her when she hasn't been well enough to go. It's like walking into a foreign land in there, but the employees are so helpful. As opposed to places like the big box stores that sell everything from fridges and blenders to electronics, places like Gamestop are staffed by people who know games and play games and know game systems.

I think if you went into a Gamestop or a similar dedicated gaming store, you'd get some helpful info. For one thing, I believe that the Wii U might be becoming obsolete soon. It hasn't sold well, and apparently the controller is not comfortable to use. I think that Nintendo is replacing the Wii U with a whole new system fairly soon. If you bought a Wii U now, it might not be supported within a few months, and you might not be able to buy new games as your son gets a little older. The game store employees can help you understand which system might be best for you and your son.

The Wii U has fewer games than other systems, like the PS4 and Xbox One.

Just things to consider.

I think, since your son is 9 and not 3 or 4, its ok for him to understand that Santa doesn't hand out hundreds of dollars worth of game consoles and peripherals (remember, you'll need more than one controller for multiple players - remember to ask the game store people about that).

Since you intend for this gaming system to be used by your family, I don't think it's a bad idea for your son to understand that it's going to be a family present, with everyone chipping in. If he has invested in this gaming system, he might appreciate it more. Let Santa get him a Lego set or something and make this more of a family decision. That way, you'll have more control over what games are permitted and what ones are not.

If you do get the Wii tell him it is for the family. You could tell him that Santa knows you are against gaming systems so he is not going against your wishes. I've never heard of Santa leaving money so if you do give him money say its from you and he will need to earn the rest. Good luck.

We are buying my son(8) an Xbox 1 this year for Christmas. We are not really gamers and I limit screen time and we certainly don't spend hundreds on one gift every year or for all my kids but this along with a few games is all he is getting and I am sure he will get years of use out of this. We have a play station 3 that he gets to play occasionally but he wants the kinect(sp) my son loves video games along with all the boys I know and I think my son is like yours he sure is suspicious of Santa like he is just playing along with us, he might as well wink to me when he asks for his gift. Santa only brings one so I would just buy it for him.

I truly do not have issues with screen time. Our kids are active and play and hardly look at the TV unless they're just interested in that one show. They'll play toys and games and all sorts of things and the TVs on in the background but I hardly ever catch them just sitting and watching.

As for computer stuff we used to have a timer set on the desk top and each kid had a set time, 2 hours at a set time of day every day, where they could go on and do what ever they wanted. BUT we'd run late from tumbling or we'd run late from dance or BMX or basketball or something else. Then one of them would have missed their time. So we took the timers off.

When they ask to get on we let them IF their chores are done. Our schools do not send home busy work homework. The ONLY homework they EVER bring home is something they didn't finish at school. BUT that has only happened once or twice ever. The teachers manage their classrooms and they do not let kids sit and not do their work. They make the kids stay in from recess while they do their work, they make them stay in the classroom from PE to finish their work, they do not let them just not do it.

They have their entire evenings mostly free. They run and play and ride bikes and play basketball and roller skate and run amok with the neighbors kids. They have fun.

So I am really not worried about them spending too much time online. They play the Wii when they feel like it. Yes, it will be a shiny new toy and he'll want to spend hours learning the games and winning on a hard level and they'll just be on it all the time. Then they'll want to be out playing basketball or kicking a soccer ball around for hours. Kids get focused on challenges.

I think the Wii is fun.

I will say this, if you go to Game Stop you'll find excellent prices and accessories. You do not need to pay much for them at all.

Well I'd let him write his letter to Santa and if the only thing on the list is the WIIU then I'd get something else. If he asks then tell him that Santa might not have gotten the letter or maybe ran out of WIIUs.

That being said if he doesn't believe in Santa and is just hedging his bets maybe its time for him to be Santa by working with you to get a present or two to donate to charity. Or shopping for a food bank. My oldest 2 grandchildren don't believe so they are 'helper elves' for the holiday season. The magic of believing doesn't stop; you just get a new role to play.

Wii was super fun family gift Santa gave us all one year. We all played it and lots of fun. We did yoga, bowling, tennis, etc. This was years ago, but was well worth it and not on our kids' list - we surprised them. Santa always does a big family gift for us. Hidden, separate from tree. Last thing they find.

Kids wanted an xbox a few years later. We did not feel like buying one - way more expensive, we already had a gaming system, etc. My inlaws dropped one off Christmas Eve. I wasn't thrilled. I really haven't seen one of my sons since.

I have bought a Let's Dance game for Christmas hoping to get back to some of that family fun. We'll see. It is fun if you can find games where the family gets involved. My sister's family did a family rock band game one year and said most fun they'd had over Christmas.

When my kids have wanted a very pricey electronic, we tend to do it for birthdays. And what works for us if we combine money. So they put birthday money from grandparents or their savings towards it and we buy majority of it. We did an electronic device for one son one Christmas. He got the one gift and a couple very small gifts and everyone else was opening presents. I vowed never to do it again. So ... pricey individual gifts, we do at birthdays. But we would make the gaming system a family gift between kids and parents.

Not sure if that helps, but that's been our experience.

Last year hubby and I got our kids the Xbox 360. I was very on the fence with it but it was great and has been great. They are allowed to play when they can and it has the sensor bar thing so the controls are wireless.(yes i am not video game savvy. haha) We play games as a family and its a work out. lol. You can get used games at game stop and they come with a warranty and are cheaper.
He will only play as much as you allow and if he has an attitude then limit his time.
Good luck and many blessings

We now have two gaming systems in our house- we bought a PlayStation years ago to stream shows, and then hubby just won an Xbox.

We are a media house. We have 3 computer, 4 tablets, one laptop, two paid phones, two phone handsets for wi-fi use. We have 5 people. It's so bad that I just upgraded my phone because it has many issues, and the 2.5 year old will inherit it to play games and stream videos.

I have many days when I'm ready go stop paying for Internet. Sigh, but then I focus on what else is going on and see that media really isn't evil if you can find balance.

we use our gaming systems for family time. We play rock band, or hubby plays minecraft with the kids. We stream all our shows and movies. I couldn't fathom not having one in the house.

I'd buy it for him and then let him buy games with his own money.

If you end up getting the wiiu, make sure you check your library. Ours has games that my kids can check out with their library card. It's an easy way to try different games & save some money.