Writing Book -Need Your Help

I think one thing I would do differently is be consistant about putting my foot down. My children got to the point that every time we went to the store they ould get something. Their are other examples, but this one stands out most.

Not letting them watch so much TV at an early age....

Ah, the year my son seemed to stay on restriction -- every time he was ready to re-join the world, he did something that he knew would land him in the same condition -- I was despised that year. What would I have done differently? Worked out alternative disciplinary actions, other than restriction, much, much sooner. It didn't work with him.

The other thing would have been to find a way to homeschool him, so that he would have grown up with a love of school, rather than hating it. As an example, in his fourth grade year, he had book reports due each month. He was going through the Harry Potter series, and his reports had been dull, and teeth-pulling experiences, but he'd received As on them. For the fourth book, I recommended that he write the report from the perspective of one of the characters, and he really did a great job, getting into the character, writing much more interesting narratives and just enjoying the assignment. As a former teacher, I was dismayed to see him get a C, because the teacher didn't want creativity -- she wanted it in a format, without the imagination. He learned from that point that school wasn't supposed to be fun, although he always said that I made learning fun.

I can't go back, but maybe your book will inspire others. :) Good luck!

Angel :)

I would attachment parent without feeling so pressured by mainstream society to conform. My oldest daughter is ten, and she is AMAZING! I am so happy I took the extra time to be at home with her, have her in our bed, child -led wean her, and respect every part of who she is, and I just wish that I had been more confident, and questioned myself less, and listened to other people, who always want to compare kids, even though they all develop differently. I would tell my mother -in-law to back off, and that she is not welcome with the kids if she is going to be negative and critical of them, and of my parenting- I guess that means I would be better at setting boundaries in general; for myself, and as a good example for the kids. I would tell my parents that I love them, but I there are good and bad things about the way I was raised, and just like any parent, you have to take the good, and toss the bad, and find better ideas to add to your philosophy. I was a single mom for many years, and the thing that I regret more than ANYTHING is how distracted I became when I was dating the first man after I left my husband, feeling that new love, all-consuming passion. It is hard to raise a kid from that place, and my daughter was in need of me more than ever because I left her dad and moved to the other side of the country. I still feel so sad in my heart looking back, because I needed someone to give me love so desperately that she ended up getting less focus than she needed. I would go back and change that in a second. She deserved ALL of my attention and love at that time, and I was just too broken to give it to her. I did learn my lesson, and I never dated, really, like a lot of single moms. But that first guy- I wish I had never met him, and I wish I had been able to have more strength and guidance so that I could have found my way without getting involved in a new relationship before she even had time to grieve. He ended up being very immature, and we were together for 3 years, with me doing the best I could to make him into a dad that he didn't want to be. I knew he wasn't into it from the start, but was just so needful of someone's love after my broken marriage. My daughter didn't deserve that. She just didn't. Why do we, as women, constantly make this mistake time and time again?

I would have left my first marriage sooner. My only daughter's biological father was demanding, angry and unpredictable.

He even locked her out of the house when she was ten and told her she was no longer part of the family for being "messy." She was terrified and sobbing, huddled in the corner of the front yard, by the time I got home from work a couple of hours later. My husband was implacably watching television. My heart still breaks when I remember.

I did leave that marriage soon after this incident, and both of us began the long process of emotional repair. There might have been less repair needed if I hadn't hoped for so long that my husband would grow up.

Fussing with their hair!

To be more serious and not tease all of the time. Don't fall for the "cuteness" and follow through with consiquences. I had too much empathy for them and gave in.

I would have tried to stay in one place for a longer period of time, rather than moving around trying to better things. It prevented stability and security.

Not giving them a strong background in the religion of my family.

Before I had children, I had such strong parenting opinions of what I would do once I had kids. I swore that I would never have a t.v. in my kid's rooms, that my kids would never have candy after 8:00 p.m., or throw a tantrum in public. All of that turned out to be false later on! My best advice is to take parenting one day at a time. Try not to plan what you will or wont allow in the future, because circumstances change.