Would You Allow Your Daughter to Go on a Co-ed Camping Trip?

I agree with her. Yes, I would allow my daughter to go. And yes, I think no dating before 16 in this day and age is -- I won't say ridiculous, but I will say overprotective.

I went on many co-ed camping trips around that age. Let's just say that there is very little privacy on a camping trip. That's not to say the occasional stolen moment did not come up, but overall I don't think it's a huge risk. Plus, those trips made for wonderful memories!

When my daughter was that age, I let her go with her boyfriend and his mom to a weekend-long music festival in another state.
If she's going with his family, I don't have a problem with it.
She started "dating" him when they were 14, but since neither of them could drive, their dates consisted mostly of them hanging out at my house or his, playing video games or watching movies.

Church youth groups do it all the time....I think it depends on the supervision. Even with the best supervision, if a teen wants to get away with something, they will.

I'm happy to be passed that stage.....May the force be with you.

Blessings....

My parents included my best friend, a guy, on our family camping trip when we were 15. He slept in his own tent and I slept in a tent with my parents. I would allow my daughter to go if I knew the boy's family well, or invite the boy with us, as my parents did. As long as they're sleeping separately and supervised as they should be, being camping or being at home watching movies is not much different.

If the boy's parents were going, I'd let my kid go, absolutely. One really nice thing about camping is that it's rustic - no TV, no computer, etc. and it makes the kids appreciate nature. I'd talk to the parents, but not about sex, which is what you are worried about. Exactly how is it more risky than the opportunities they have every day? I'd be more concerned about water safety at the lake and so on. It's pretty quiet in campsites - very hard for kids to sneak around. I think allowing kids a certain amount of freedom in a structured environment is good for them.

I have 2 young boys (thankfully), so it would be hard for me to answer. I suppose if you know the family of the boyfriend you might consider it. Also, you have to know your kid, which is really hard to even begin to fathom as mine are 2 years and almost 5 years.

I just wanted to comment that you might not want to set an arbitrary rule of "no dating before 16." I think you're better off just going with the flow, encouraging friendships and group outings, supporting a social life with football games and school dances. Some kids will date, some won't. I didn't date until college. I had a lot of fun with my friends in high school. Some were girls, some were guys. We just had fun together.

I understand your concern, but it might be best to just take things as they come. As your kids approach that age, you'll know if there is something on the horizon to be concerned about and can deal with that when it's appropriate.

It's a family camping trip. That's totally different than camping alone with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
My daughter is 16 and has a very good head on her shoulders. If she were to go camping with her best friend's family - he is a boy - I'd have no problem with it at all. It would honestly depend on who she was going with, if I knew them well, and the circumstances.
I would have told the mother that she needed to call the boyfriend's family to figure out the logistics. What I tell my kids is - I can say maybe and get some more details or I can just say no - you choose.
LBC

I probably would say no to an overnight camping trip with the boyfriend, but I can also see how I might consider it, if I knew the boyfriend's family and they were on the same page in terms of keeping things "PG".

In response to your other question, I don't think no dating before 16 is ridiculous at all. I didn't date before I was 17. I'm okay with supervised co-ed activities, but I think kids pair off way before they need to in a lot of cases, and I think teens should focus less on boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and more on friends, family, school etc.

depends on the kid and the relationship i had with the bf's parents. it's a family trip, it's not like twenty kids going to cancun. separate tents, etc, would all factor in.

I let my daughter go camping overnight with a good friend, male but not a boyfriend, and his family when she was 16. I knew his mother and felt that I could trust that they would be well chaperoned. That would be the deal breaker for me. Knowing the parents and knowing that they have the same values and expectations for my daughter's welfare that I have.

If it's a boyfriend, I would make my decision based on their behavior at home. If they were circumspect, following my rules, and I knew and trusted the parents I would let her go. Trust is the key!

Without my trust in the parents I would not let her go even if I trusted her. Teens need that extra support to counter their hormones until they're mature enough to manage them on their own.

I think that the age at which a teen begins to date is based on their maturity and current level of behavior. There are many ways to date. I agree that giving a blanket answer for all teens is ridiculous. I think that kids will rebel when they don't understand the reasons for the rules.

Depends how much supervision the parents give. I would if I was going camping to bring her boyfriend, but they would sure as hell be in separate rooms (thinking of the divider tents) and she would be with me or something like that. I wouldn't let her go with his family unless I knew they were the same way, but I tend to see boys families allowing them to get away with more stuff (not always the case at all, just saw it growing up and see it now a bit), it's just that double standard with girls and boys.

I think the stricter you are the more they rebel, but this is also a legitimate concern. It would all depend on how well I knew the other family and what their beliefs are. If it were me taking them, then okay.

I agree with Carrie too, I had best guy friends too and actually stayed the night at a friend's house for a 3rd grade co-ed party (nothing happened with anyone in that party hanky-panky wise, but I wouldn't let my daughter go to one lol). But she did make it clear that he was her boyfriend :)

About the dating at 16, I don't know about that one because I want my daughter, like me, to date and have parent-guided experience before going on her own. I remember being 15 and was mature for my age so maybe that is what sways me. I would go with the flow on the maturity of your child, not how they act necessarily (like grades lol) but how strong their convictions are and what they are. I camp quite a bit and don't think they would get away with much unless the parents are serious heavy sleepers.

i think it would depend on the maturity of my daughter and how well i knew this boy and his family. if i could trust that my daughter was smart about these things and if i knew that his family would be with them the entire time and not leave them alone, i MIGHT let her go. i'm leaning towards no though.

My kids are still little, and I expect that my opinions and ideas about this will transition as my children grow. Right now, it's hard to imagine my two little girls as teenagers. Heck, it's hard to imagine them in school!

That said, I'll tell you what I want to parent, and the lessons I hope to example and share. I don't want my children to be ashamed or scared of their sexuality. I want them to be responsible with their/other people's bodies. I want them to understand the risks (and benefits) of sex and of intimate relationships. I want them to know risk reduction like the back of their hand. I want them to feel open with me, and I want to give them boundaries that will help guide them towards self understanding and strength. I want them to know what "No" means, and to use it when their body/mind/spirit is unsure. I want them to know how to be as safe as possible, while still feeling empowered as women and as sexual beings.

I don't know what our policies on dating will be. Nor on co-ed sleepovers. Nor on sleepovers. And, I'm sure all of those policies will change with my children.

I know many teens who are allowed to date and go on co-ed trips, including those supervised by school, church, or family. I know some who aren't allowed to spend time with the opposite sex. No matter what, our children might make the same (or different) mistakes as we did as teenagers. I don't think we ever can be 100 percent sure that we are 100 percent in control of our children's destinies. Thank goodness!

Didn't you hear how Bristol lost her virginity? Just saying.....

Co-ed camping...um, NO!

Dating before 16, probably...group dates and coming to the house and hanging out...I think is OK :)

Matters on the kid and on his family. Looking back on boys I dated there are a few families I would not allow this sort of thing to happen and then others I would have no issue with.

I think it would depend. It is a family trip not something totally unsupervised. I would want a lot of info and would have to trust the parents. I went camping a lot as a teenager but it was with Girl Scouts so it was all girls.

I'm not sure about the dating question. My kids are still preschoolers.

I would let her go assuming you know and like the bf's family and are comfortable with her spending time with them.

Depends on the child, her boyfriend, and his parents. Their behavior and display of trustworthiness, sleeping arrangements, and my confidence in the parents to properly chaperone.

I did let my son go on an overnight church event (over several nights) and his girlfriend was going too but I also knew they would be in separate rooms and well chaperoned.

Dating before 16: I'm more of a mind to say that setting a number ahead of time on dating (or ANYTHING) is ridiculous. I was actually quite mature and we went on group outings (Astroworld, fishing off the bridge, swimming in the lake with my uncles chaperoning (or we'd go to the pool and didn't need chaperones b/c the whole neighborhood was there)in the daytime at 12-13, mom drove us to the movies or a concert at 14, and we dated (with restrictions) at 15 (but at that time in Louisiana, 15 was the age you got a drivers license, 18 was the drinking age then). I know that we did handle it well until a little older and I had a more "serious" bf (about 17). And then after highschool went many kids just went mad. If anything else, it was good to have some experience and fun in group settings without being all serious or the boys being at the peak of hormones (or courage) yet. HOWEVER, I've known many 16-18 year old girls (my cousins included) that I wouldn't trust out of my yard if they were my daughters...not that they were bad, but just STUPID. Insecure, needy, would do anything to be popular, too darn gullible, all that mess. So a number is just a stupid number to me. That doesn't make someone too young or old enough for things like dating. Depending on how my kids behave, follow directions, show respect to girls and themselves, etc, etc...I will base what they do and when on how they handle themselves, not on when their birthday is. However, obviously I'd do the same as my mom: group outings to 6 Flags, a ballgame, the beach with us there too, etc and then move to dinners at home, then dinners out with a couple friends, then I can sit in the back of the movies while they sit in the front on a double date, etc. It's more about easing in and practicing how to handle yourself than just jumping into situations you haven't been in before (and no mom to play "bad guy" until you get your bearings). I thanked my mom even as a teen a few times, it was good to know she would play bad guy for me and the pressure was off a little (for anything, not just sex).
As for coed camping: I'm of a mind to say NO to bf/gf! (Sorry to be too blunt, but it literally only takes a minute, and doesn't need to be in a tent or sleeping area, and truth is I don't see how I would not want to make out in a pretty, remote place.) However, coed camping for just a guy friend, I wouldn't have as much problem with at all. 3 of my best friends in highschool were guys (it was a 3 girl, 3 guy group of people who NEVER dated). EVER. I think it felt comfortable because we could "be" dates if needed but we never ever were bf/gf. (I did kiss one of them years later around 20 years old and intoxicated, in the backseat of a car waiting for friends to come back.....it was so "weird" that I crawled to the front seat and he crawled over to the hatchback's trunk space where we slept until our friends arrived; that relationship was very innocent). Parents should know the dynamics of their kids relationships and make decisions based on that.

Nope she would not be going. My girls will not be dating at that age either. I don't mind if they want a "boyfriend", but going out alone on a date, no way!

Best way to keep your kids from rebelling it to include the boyfriend in family activities. You can supervise them, but they can spend time together. If you limit all time together that is when they'll want to rebel. If you provide time together in a safe environment, then that should help a lot! That seems to be what your friend's daughter's boyfriend's parents are trying to do, but camping is just too risky in my book. Find something else to do.

Also a lot depends on your relationship with your child. If you keep communication lines open and they like to talk to you, you should not worry about them sneaking around. If they won't talk to you and think your rules are too strict then you'll have more to worry about. So keep up a good relationship with them, that is the best defense against teen age rebellion.

Unfortunately most parents think that kids will rebel, so just stay out of their way. That's the wrong approach and is making it harder and harder for the rest of us. We hear so much of, but so and so's parents let them do that...

Best wishes!

What's the problem if they are going with his family? Unless you know his family lets them sleep together, not allowing a fully chaperoned camping trip at age 15 seems ridiculous.

My mom always let us take friends camping with us. My 2 best friends were guys. I think if the parents will be there it would be fine.

It all depended upon how mature my daughter was...at 15 - MY daughter? Yes, I would've let her go because I KNEW she wasn't having sex and would NOT be pressured into it.

I would've had a fit if two teenagers would've shared a tent alone - but that's me...it's a FAMILY not a bunch of kids...I would hope that the family of the boy has communicated with the other family...maybe they share the same values and morals as this girls family? I don't know.

I do agree that the more you tell your child NO or " you can't have that" or "You can't do that" - you are only making them want the item/object more. That's why it's important to COMMUNICATE with your children...if they want to TASTE beer - let them. It's a TASTE not a bottle. But this is ME and this is how I was raised and in high school- alcohol didn't have the same temptation it did for my friends so I didn't get in trouble.

No, I don't think no dating until 16 is ridiculous. However, it can be interpreted MANY ways - what is your idea of dating? Do I mind if a bunch of kids (boys and girls both) get together and go to a movie? NOPE...is that considered dating? Not in my book.

My sister in law went on a coed camping trip with boyfriend and his parents at age 18- came back and ended up pregnant. I would say no... But realizing if they are going to do it- they will find a way....

No, I would not allow my daughter to do that. She has a lifetime ahead of her of possible co-ed coalescing! When I was 16 or 17, I tried to get my parents to allow me to spend the night at my boyfriend's mom's house; she lived about 1 hour away from my home in an outdoorsy area. My dad said, "Why not? His mom will be there." My mom said, "Hell, no! Are you crazy?" I was ticked off to be sure because my mom knew exactly what was going on (or going to be going on, I'm not going to lie!!) I later thought that that was reeeeeeal smart of my mom :)

"Do you think no dating before 16 in this day and age is ridiculous?"

This one always offended me as a teenager. Not because it was my parents' rule and I thought it was unfair. It offended me because I didn't date in high school and it always made me wonder what was wrong with me. I thought, why do I not have a desire to date someone? Why don't the boys want to date me? Why am I such a freak? What's so wrong with me that at 15 I'm not sneaking around with some boy because my parents are so mean that they won't let us date?

I do think it's ridiculous to set arbitrary rules like that. I'm thankful that my parents took things as they came. They didn't tell me, as an 8 year old, that I wouldn't be allowed to date until I was 16. Rather, they talked to me about things that 8 and 9 year olds were going through.

Deal with 16 when it's time to deal with 16. Don't deal with it when the kids are still in grade school.

My mom never knew I had a bf growing up, and I was sexually active at age 13. I did not feel I could talk to her. This woman's daughter is talking to her mom, asking permission where many would not. I would encourage that trust to continue. Now whether or not she got to go on the trip would depend on what kind of kid she is, and how well I know the boy and his parents.

My reaction is the same as yours---HELL NO. I would not encourage that at all----if it was day camp or sleep away camp with boys and girls when they were little etc.--thats different. But boyfriend/girfriend stuff with the family? NO.

Nope, just asking for trouble. 16 is the dating age in my book as well...provided the child is mature enough to even handle it.

Yes I would let her go (assuming I knew the boy's parents, trusted their driving, etc). I thought no dating before 16 was ridiculous back in the 70s (when I was 16). I started dating at 14, my mom took me to her ob/gyn who discussed birth control with me. The kids I knew who were having sex in high school did not need to go away for the weekend to do it. I

Providing boundaries that kids want to push against helps them grow up.
When she's grown and on her own, she can go camping any time she likes with anyone she wants to.
By saying 'no' now, it gives her a goal - that she needs to become independent so she can live the way she wants to, make her own decisions and be responsible for what ever the outcome turns out to be.
Surprisingly enough, by the time she has a 16 yr old of her own, she'll suddenly understand your current point of view and more than likely will agree with you.
She just doesn't have the life experience to appreciate it for right now.

No dating till 16 for our kids!!!!!!So it woulod be a NO.

I went with my boyfriend, his best friend, and my boyfriend's parents on a fishing trip when I was 15 years old. It wasn't 'camping' because we got a hotel room. We were ALL in the same room. There was a cot for me, the guys had one bed, and the parents had the another. It was a lot of fun!!

BUT your question was not what *I* did, it was if I would I let my daughter go. Now I don't have a daughter, I have a son, but IF I DID have a daughter, I don't think I would be able to let her go.

That said, not letting her go will not keep her 'innocent' if she chooses not to be. If she wants to 'be with' her boyfriend, she will find a way. If she wants to remain chaste, she will. At 15, her values are pretty ingrained already.

My son cannot date until he is FORTY!! (Yeah, I know....keep dreaming!)

idk it would depend on how well i knew the family and the "boyfriend" if i didnt know them very well and wasnt sure what was going to be going on then there is no way in hell i would let her go but i know for a fact my daughters dad is going to be WAY more strict then what i am going to be

No, hell no, I would not allow my daughter to go camping.

Yes, she can group date before 15 and alone dates at 16. I want her to be able to drive for safety.

And, my daughter will always have a curfew, so the over night at 15 seems completely absurd.

And I'm liberal: )

you need to educate and trust your kids so they make the right decisions. But ultimately the decision is up to them, and they need to think for themselves.

I would speak to boyfriends parents and make sure they are not in the same tent. Its not like its a bunch of kids going into the bush to drink and smoke pot, it sounds like a family camp trip which is very different.

NO WAY and I am glad you told her.

25 years ago 3/6 high school cheerleaders got pregnant at aftergame parties that took place in a friend's basement with adults upstairs.

I wish I could give your question a flower!!!

My reaction is no way.

My kids are little too, but maybe a compromise would be to see if the fam could go to the same location. That way you know where your kid is sleeping at night. Although, that might give them even more opportunities to sneak away. Not looking forward to teenage years!

If the kids are trustworthy & can be trusted to keep their hands to themselves, it may be okay but if it were me, I'd go along to chaperone. I wasn't allowed to date at all as long as I lived in 'their house'. I didn't have my real first date til college & was totally unprepared & unaware of what to do on a date. I'd say if there was parental supervision, it might be okay but kids will be kids & if they're going to make out then they're gonna make out no matter where they're at. I'd say you're not being over pretective. I think parents NEED to be protective of their kids, even as young teenagers. I wk in the maternity ward at a hospital & I cannot TELL you how many young girls/young couples come in to have babies. Day after day after day, several young girls per day. In fact most of our patients are either teens or maybe young college age...way too young IMO so no, I do not think you're being overprotective or rediculous. I'd do the same thing as you. There's nothing wrong w/the 'old school ways' of doing things. Take a look back, how many teens were giving birth back when 'we' were young compared to now. It's becoming the 'norm' and that's a shame.

Nope! I'd never let my daughter go. And no dating before age 16...preferably group dates even then. If we as parents don't set high standards and protect our children, WHO is going to??

I agree with no dating until 16 years old. I wasn't allowed and my daughter won't be either. Luckily for my parents, I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18. If this girl was older, and the boyfriends parents were also going and it was going to be a family trip, then maybe. The would not have their own tent either. As long as they were supervised the whole time and with family, then I think it would be ok.

Heck NO! My 15 year old daughter wouldn't even be allowed to be "dating". When I say dating I mean going out on their own. More than welcome to come over to our house or go to church with us but not anything relating to spend the nightover's. That's just asking for trouble in my opinion. Kids sneaking out and rebelling against you just because you set rules? If you set rules and consequences from the beginning your kids will know no different in my opinion. Its all in how you handle the consequences. I never was allowed to do certain things and I had a friend that would constantly sneak out and when she got to be of driving age it got even worse.....I was too afraid of my parents to try most f the things she did. Not that I was afriad of my parents but I didn't want to disappoint them and make them mad at me. Therefore I never tried much-believe me I did do some things but not anything compared to what my sister did-I think I had learned from HER mistakes so I didn't try much but in turn I think I also had to pay for her mistakes as well. My trust was automatically taken away because of the things she did-even though I hadn't done anything!!! lol! That is one thing I promised-I would never take my trust away from another child unless they actually did something to take it away personally. I have twin daughters though that are 8.....I can only imagine that they will most likely be double the trouble when it comes time and both will be in the same boat.....lol!

No, I would not let her go. NO way in hell!

Sorry. No overnights with a boyfriend's family. No way. Sets a bad precedent & opens a can of worms that I'd rather remain very, very tightly closed.

Yes, I get it that teenagers will find a way to do pretty much what they want or feel is right. I just believe in being very clear what my expectations are.

I went on co-ed camping trips (my parents thought it was just me, my friend and her parents, but HER parents would let us pick up whoever and bring them) and it was nothing but trouble. That's why kids want them.

I think dating before 18 won't be allowed in our household. My husband and I know what kind've trouble we got into as teenagers, and we don't want the same for our children. So...definitely NO on the co-ed camping.