Worried Here (Angiogram)

Yes, I've been through this. I can't tell you everything will be alright but I can say that the warnings they are giving you don't mean anything bad will happen. Doctors and hospitals often prepare you for the worst and asking about a DO NOT RESUSITATE is what they do to everybody.

Your FIL is scared and he is taking the opportunity to say good-bye. Good for him! But that doesn't necessarily mean he is going anywhere.

There is not much to do but to keep letting your husband and in laws know you love and support them. I wouldn't say "everything will be okay," because you don't know that. Just continue to stand beside them and ask what you can do to help.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It's tough, but don't expect the worse. Hope for the best.

I'm in Reno if you need someone to lean on. I can listen or hug or bring you something...whatever you need. I know it'd be a stranger, but strangers become family sometimes.

I'm sorry your family is going through this.
It's very scary.
First, I've had an angiogram and the procedure itself is not that bad at all. It's uncomfortable and you have to be really still.
My father had an angiogram and they did an angioplasty at the same time.
My dad felt great after the procedure.
He was back to golfing, dancing...he was very active.
My mom developed poor circulation in her legs and went to the doctor. She had stents put in the arteries in her legs and she feels like a million bucks.

I found a link for you to look at.
Obviously, your father in law is worried and wants to make sure he's got his affairs in order just in case, but chances are that he will come through this just fine and feel so much better afterwards.

It's hard, I know, but you really need to think positively. Your father in law needs that right now. These procedures do not equal a death sentence. They are to improve his health and quality of life.
There are risks with any procedure, even oral surgery.
It just seems to me that now is not the time to fall apart. It will just upset the poor guy.

I wish you the best.
Be sure to let us know how it goes.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/Angioplasty/...

Pray and stay by their side.
Show your sympathy and pain as well, they understand. Do not try to hide your emotions, it is easier to get through an ordeal if you do it together. Let them break down if they need to, it is a healthy process. It's when you bottle things up that is it harder to overcome the agony. You must pray that the surgery goes well and he has a positve outcome.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
May he be strong, and heal quickly.

I'm so sorry about the illness and stress in your family! I'm hoping for peace for all of you.

My husband comes from a family that believes that nothing is truly "real" until you say it out loud. Even if something is common knowledge, they will act as if it doesn't exist, and be perfectly happy - until someone says the obvious out loud. THEN they'll all fall apart, AND be angry at whoever said something.

That person is often me. I was raised by a very pragmatic, no nonsense mom, and I'm the same way. I look at behavior that my husband's family thinks is healthy coping, and think, "What the h*** is that?" My husband has actually said to me, more than once, "Well, now I have to deal with (insert subject here.)" Honey, news flash - you'd have to deal with it whether I said anything or not! I mean, do they honestly imagine that mere human speech alters reality?

So, if it were our family in your situation, my husband would be losing his mind and coming undone not because his dad is sick, but because his dad actually spoke the possibilities out loud. He'd need lots of standard, possibly not even factual reassurances that everything will be fine. He'd rather have any bad outcome take him by surprise, so he'd be angry that his comforting mechanism of the element of surprise was gone.

If it were me, I'd be happy that I got to talk to my dad and let him say exactly what he wanted to. If something bad happened, I'd be angry and sad, but the worst of it would only last a day or two. My husband takes longer than I do to work through things. (And that's OK.)

So, what to do for your relatives depends entirely on their personalities. Some people need to talk and talk and talk about what's wrong, while others fall apart if the conversation is about what's wrong. If you don't know what your husband or MIL need, watch them. If they're happiest doing ordinary things, keeping life "normal," try to keep things as "normal" as possible. If they need a shoulder to cry on for hours at a time, let them cry.

What works for one person will annoy another. What works right this moment might not work in an hour. Everyone will be exhausted. Remember that you can't fix everything all the time, and it's not your fault if someone is sad or angry. It's normal to be both, and it's normal to occasionally feel just fine and be able to laugh. Usually, everyone will go through those stages and more.

God bless!

Hope everything went well with your FIL. Angiograms are done routinely in pretty much almost every hospital right now. The great thing about the procedure is that it can change from being a diagnostic test to a treatment procedure. People who are having heart attacks undergo them as well, it can be a lifesaving procedure. There are risks like in any invasive procedure, but most people do very well, and their quality of life may greatly improve, or depending on the severity of the heart disease, at least keep them alive. My grandmother had a heart attack in 2009. She had to undergo an angiogram, where they unblocked an artery and placed a stent, and saw another vessel was blocked about 80%, but at the time, because of her age (early 80's) and not showing any signs of problems related to it, only the symptoatic blocked artery was steneted. Unfortunately, soon after, within the same month, actually less than 2 weeks, she became symptomatic and had to go in for a second procedure and stenting, and now she is doing well. But each time they did it, it seemed to take forever. There were several other families in the same situation, we were the only one that had 3 generations of family members taking over the waitng room. Both times.

It is a very stressful time, not only for the patient, but the family as well, and there is nothing else that can be done, but sit and pray, and wait. It does help to have the family together, and that way encourage and support each other, and think positively. So just be there for your husband and MIL, be and think positive, and just hug them or hold their hand, or do whatever you know works best for them. Good thing is they recover pretty fast and are able to go home soon after. God bless.