Nephew Cannot Cry

I haven't seen my 18-yr-old cry since he was probably 11, and then it was because he got hit HARD by a baseball. Actually, he may not even have cried, because boys don't do that in front of the other guys. So unless he has a physical inability to produce tears, I wouldn't worry too much. I don't cry in front of people either.

A 15-year-old boy not crying doesn't sound weird to me. Neither does somebody being private with his emotions. Your not having seen him cry doesn't mean that he's incapable of it. I'd need a lot more evidence than that before I worried about him being a serial killer. How does he do with other prosocial emotions? Is he nice to old people and babies? Or to his friends and their parents? Those are bigger questions to worry about.

could be a social thing? lots of people still have the mentality if a boy cries he's a sissy. and if that his been drilled into his head, then maybe he just holds it in so he's not embarrassed. and just becasue he doesn't cry in front of you doesn't mean he doesn't in private. you said he expresses himself him he's angry...what about when he's happy/excited? if pretty good at expressing his other emotions, then i wouldn't be too concerned. every one handles greif/sadness in their own way.

Why be concerned? At that age, boys don't like to cry. Besides, he is going on an airplane which could be a wonderful adventure for him. He probably is well adjusted and accepts what is. I've lived in many countries myself and taken my son with me. When he wasn't able to be with me and he was with his dad, he didn't cry knowing that we would be apart. Leave the subject alone. He is fine. Prayers always help and then leave it God.

I have a son who does not cry. He does have mentle trouble. And is under Doctors care. It is like they are holding in that pain of crying. I think they feel they are weak. But that is not true. They need to know it is alright to cry and show that emotion of carring. I feel this world is taking all emotion from us. That is not good. This world is going so fast. And teaching so fast. This is not good. It does not give us time to feel and understand the tings around us that are so important. And that is life.

Hi, M.. I have a 15 year old son as well. He, well, he and I have gone through a lot of pain and loss. His biological father, my first husband, died when my son was 19 months old. My son is a really great kid. He gets Almost straight A's in school (he has one B). He is polite, and whenever we are around other people, there are usually comments about his manners, and if he is at a friend's house the report is always stellar from the friend's parents. I am remarried now for 6 years, have a 4-year old daughter, and he is very helpful with his sister. I have also been through two serious surgical, life threatening health issues in the past year. I also continue to have health issues fron that same problem as well. My son has not cried one single time. My husband and I have talked and talked to him. We have even gone so far as to point out to him that if I were to not make it through one of my surguries that he would technically be an orphan, since my husband has never adpoted him, and my son even said that he didn't care, and that he just knew that I was going to be OK, and that he just didnt care about what was going on, and to please just leave him alone. We were not fighting at the time, we were all three takling calmly, my son was just talking matter-of-factly (at least he said please! LOL). I was never upset or hurt or offended by my son's actions or words, even though my husband was outraged and very hurt by this, because my will names my husband as the custodian of my son in the event of my demise. And also because, obviously, my husband was scared to death for me as I was about to undergo a second life-threatening surgical procedure in less than six months.

The point is, that when these hormonal boys are going through these very confusing times in their lives, they are just having a hard time understanding their own bodies, what they are thinking, what they are feeling, and what is going on in the world around them. Heck, who ISN'T confused by this crazy world these days?!? When I was going through my surgical issues, I was actually damaged by the first surgeon, requiring me to have the second surgery, so I was pretty messed up. I had a therapist, and I mentioned my son's actions to her, and what I thought was going on with him to her, and she agreed that my suspicions were true. She also told me to hang in there with him, and said that I should support him as much as possible, let him know that I love him, try to know when it is necessary to push in for his safety, and just go with my gut as a mother as to when to intervene if necessary.

It is a different situation, I know, since your nephew is not going to be living with your sister, but I hope this example helps. Best of luck to your family!

I think it's important for the adults in your nephew's life to discuss with (or at least express to) him that you all know that this is a 'trying time'. Let him know that everyone also realizes, understands and is sorry that he's experiencing the 'negatives' of the situation (parents separating, him being shuttled around from one parent and one place to the other, having to change schools, etc) through no fault of his own. He probably needs some validation and empathy that this IS stressful on everyone including (and maybe 'especially') him, and he needs to feel secure in the LOVE that surrounds him although the circumstances aren't ideal for anyone concerned.

I am not sure that a 15 year old boy should be expected to show emotions in front of his mom and other family members. Boys that age can express their feeling in many ways and he sounds completely normal to me. Just because he does not cry in front of his family does not mean that he does not cry, he might just chose to do it in private. I don't remember crying in front of my parents when I was a teenager but they still knew that I was normal and did not question my emotions.

hes 15 and a boy hes not going to cry in front of his mommy. hes fine hes just a teenage boy!

I was kind of the same way when I was growing up, and I still have trouble expressing sadness today. My parents divorced when I was 2, so I spent most of my life going back and forth across the country, and it never bothered me at all to say goodbye and get on a plane, because I thought less about the person I was leaving and more about the person I was going to see.... But my family wasn't the kind that "talked about their feelings", so I never cried at funerals, either, not even when it was someone fairly close. My dad had a pretty bad temper, which I unfortunately inherited, so even nowadays I have to fight the urge to kick and throw things, and I have no trouble laughing at something that's funny, but when I hear bad news or have to say goodbye to someone, I immediately put up an anti-emotion wall (I guess so I won't get hurt or be embarrassed). I can cry in private, but it's very difficult if someone is watching. I'm not a psychopath or anything; the most this has ever been for me is a minor inconvenience. I don't know if there could be a medical reason, but if he shows no other symptoms of negative or abusive behavior (toward himself or others) then I wouldn't worry too much.

Hello. First off I just want to say I'm not a professional this is only my opinion. I do beleive this is a issue. It is human nature to cry. I think all people at points try to supress this but for a child thats not good. Has he been through something in his life that could me tramatic for him as a child? That could raise some hard questions or could be just the divorce of his parents either way someone needs to (in my opion) help him to talk about and release this. This may be the help of a theripist or just a lot of affection from his family (not to say he dosen't get that already). I dont know. I do believe like you that it's not natural and could lead to worse things later in life. Not to say that it will. I don't know you but I would pray for wisdom and guidance. Best blessing to your family.

Boys learn at a young age that it's not acceptable for them to cry. This is even more true when they're teenagers and worried about what others will think of them. Your nephew's absence of tears is completely normal for his age. I have a 15-year old, and he won't even hug me these days. (I can remember the last time I saw him cry. I know he didn't cry even when he broke his leg.) But I've raised four other sons before him and I know he'll "grow out of it." As long as your nephew is able to express himself and his feelings in other ways (other than crying) I wouldn't worry about him. I'm sure he'll grow up to be a responsible and caring adult.

Hi M.~
I don't know the whole story but based on the info you gave, this sounds psychological to me. This child may be feeling ill effects from a possible divorce, separation? Then again maybe he doesn't know how to express feelings. At 15 to separate from either parent for such an extended amount of time could be taking a big toll on him. Could the parents move closer together? I don't know what their situation is but the parents have to remember that the child is in the middle and they need to do what's best for him - meaning, they may have to adjust their lives to best fit the needs of him. Good luck to them! Paula G.

Personally I don't think just "not crying" is anything to worry about - does he manifest other dysfunctional behaviour? My parents hated each other my whole life and finally divorced when I was 15, and for that whole time I don't ever remembering crying about anything. You learn to "suck it up" and stuff your feelings. I did, however, have alot of suppressed anger, and it did eventually come out - not in any really distructive ways but it was pretty hard on my relationship with my husband and children. I finally learned, through the grace of God, how to deal with my anger. And I now cry quite easily! The point is, you need to look for other signs of disturbance. Probably your sister should suggest to her ex that the child receive some counseling. Even if there is nothing serious going on, it is still stressful to go through a change of home, school, etc. at his age. And if you believe in prayer, then PRAY!

Is it that he "cannot" cry or that he "will not" cry? If he actually had a medical condition that caused him not to produce tears, like a blocked tear duct, then I'm sure he'd probably have voiced this to his parents at some point over the years. Honestly, a 15 year old boy not crying doesn't sound that odd to me I taught adolescents...some boys cry,and some just don't. There are a lot of males out there that just don't express their emotions that way. If this is the only "odd" thing about his behavior, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. You might inform his father and just let him be on the lookout for any further signs of emotional distress. As far as counseling, I wouldn't even consider that until he shows those further signs. It'd be terrible to tell him he had to have counseling because he doesn't cry, especially if he's just not the crying type.

Your nephew is perfectly normal! Teenage boy's don't cry. It's as simple as that. He does have emotions, but boy's are taught that if they cry they are sissys's. But believe, with his situation he crying on the inside and probably takes that out with anger.

I would imagine that he "can" cry, he just isn't emotional. Most boys/men are not. I would find out if he has ever cried before wondering what is wrong with him. Ask his mom. Then I would go from there. Does he show other emotions such as laughing? When I was younger I used to laugh or smile when I should have cried. If someone was sick or had died, I would smile or laugh while saying, "oh, I am so sorry" I could not help it and as I hit my 20's I starting responding normally....crying. I am a very emotional person and felt horrible but could not help it. Later I asked a counselor and they said that it is normal for children to react this way, especially if they have had a not-so-happy childhood. I had a great one except I did not get along with my father and my parents ended in divorce. Also, kids don't think about time the way adults do. The son may have been excited to go live with his dad and was not thinking about how long we would NOT see his mom. Don't worry about serial killers, although, I am not a doctor! :o)

My response is very vague. I know someone whose daughter couldn't cry. It was years ago that this woman told me about her daughters condition so I don't have all the details. But it was a somekind of sensory issue, I don't remember the medical name. When they found out about it, I think she was over a year. They went to a childrens hospital in I think Cincinnati. After the diagnosis she had to do lots of therapy involving touch. I think they also had to rub her skin all over with some type of brush. If you want more info I can call the person for you and see if she would like to talk to you. I know my response doesn't provide much but my point is there is a real condition in which one can't cry.

i've never seen this but its probably something to do with his tearduct so i'd sugest asking a eye doctor or he might not be a emotional person that don't mean there is anything
wrong with him.lots of times men are raised not to show emotion but it dont mean he will be a bad person.we live in such a fast moving scocitity (spelt wrong)that people hold in a lot of emotion.

Most likely, counseling is warranted, sounds like the child has a lot of turmoil. BUT, there is a medical condition caused by a lack of IgA immunoglobulin that causes an physical inability to cry. IgA is the mediator for the secretory immune system which includes tears, mucous, etc. Signs of the deficiency would include recurrent skin infections, eye infections, uppr respiratory allergies, recurrent diarrhea. It occurs in about 1 in every 500-700 people, so not super rare. It's relatively benign, a lot of people who are born with the condition are asymptomatic. There's no treatment for the disorder aside from treating individual infections as they crop up.