So far my husband and I have been talking a since I told him I was thinking about seperating from him. We have had a couple of big disagreements but there is one that I feel isn't an issue to begin with. My husband has asked a couple of times if we could hide our martial status on facebook. I for one don't want to do that because that will raise questions from my friends but they don't need to know what is really going on in the first place. I told him I'm not going to hide it or change just because we are working on some stuff. He didn't like that answer at all but I'm not doing it. He then tells me that he wants his information current and that by putting down that he still lives in the same city as my son and I are at is lying to everyone. He does work and live in a different state and almost everyone that we know knows that already. I do understand that he hates lying to people but at this point I don't care if I do lie to people. It is something that my husband and I are working on and no else needs to know any details. Some people have asked why I haven't moved yet and all I have told them is that some things came up that we need to work on. I don't see why he can't just leave things be on facebook. It's not an area we are working on and not an area that needs to be changed.
I don't know. Am I being a bit much when I tell him that I'm not going to change anything on facebook?
I'm going to have to talk to him if he brings it up again about wanting to change the status. He won't change anything on there unless I agree to it and do it as well. Plus we both haven't said anything about what is going on in our lives on facebook. We are very private when it comes to stuff like this. This is also our first big fight about something since we got married 6.5 years ago. So I'm hoping it works out for us.
Thanks ladies
Sounds silly to me that he is more concerned about his FB status than he is about his ACTUAL status with his wife and child. How old IS this guy?
A man who wants to publicly hide his marital status isn't "working out some issues" in his marriage, he's ready to move on.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but sometimes the truth is hard to hear. You don't need to share ANYTHING on facebook that you don't want to share, but don't keep your head in the sand either. The writing's on the wall (ugh, sorry for the bad pun!)
His request is, in my little opinion, completely childish, insensitive, and sneaky. Until there is a change in actual status, there is no need to change your status on Facebook. Is he having trouble getting dates when there is still a link to you on social media? I'm sorry, but while he may hate lying to people, it sounds unreasonable to me. But I've never been in your situation, so this is simply my initial gut reaction with little information.
Sounds like all he is "working on" is getting a date.
He lives and works in a different state? Doesn't want you to mention that you are still married on Facebook? hmmm....Sorry, what do YOU really think is going on?
Seems to me like there are way bigger issues to focus on then a meaningless entry on a computer. I would have reacted the same as you since you are indeed still married right? Until you are divorced I would tell him not worry about social media and instead worry about actual person to person social interaction with his family which should be his first priority but seems like it is not.
Good luck, and I hope you can come to a conclusion that makes you both happy.
Your husband should grow up.
Red flags are waving all around this. This is NOT about Facebook, this is about your husband wanting to present himself to the world as either a single, soon to be single or at minimum a separated man. This does not sound like a man who is genuinely in good faith working out marital issues.
From a single woman's perspective, my thoughts are that this sounds like a man who wants to tell single women and perhaps new friends that he's either "separated" from his wife or single. This isn't about his family or being honest with people you know. This sounds much more about his social life. Not only would I not change my status, I'd be keeping my ducks in a row to be protected financially. If I were you, I might also pay a surprise visit to the place where he's living...something sounds very, very fishy.
I have a friend who is going through a divorce. Her soon to be ex has plastered stuff all over FB...her not one word.
Just makes him look bad...not her.
If he wants to share you can't make him change his mind...you don't want to he can't change that.
I would be focusing on the real issues and not FB...if you can't agree on this...then you have a long road ahead of you! I would personally let this one go.
Your husband wants to go ahead and announce to the world that he is separated. That should say everything in the world to you about this "working on issues" thing. He isn't really working on issues - he is getting his ducks in a row to be ready for a legal separation/divorce.
If he lives and works in a different state, he's going to be going for the quickie divorce. It's like a country sending in their ambassador to talk about peace, when they are secretly getting ready to attack (Pearl Harbor). You think you're working on issues. He is going to present you with divorce papers while you think you're going to be separated for a time.
The posters who said you have more to worry about than FB status are oh so right...
:(
Dawn
Seems to me that the reason he wants it changed is so that he can date other women and when they look at his FB page, they will NOT see that he's still in a committed marriage.
Just get the he!! off FB if it's going to cause a problem in your marriage. Delete the accounts and work on the reality of your marriage!
You are right; there is no requirement to let everyone know your every little detail on Facebook. I'm not on Facebook, but were I in this situation, I would not post any change in marital status (or just hide that part of your profile) until you are making a permanent change. If the relationship comes first, then it's important to protect it and keep your own business to yourselves instead of making it the world's information to ask questions and comment on.
All you can do is take the high road yourself. And if you are at this stage of your relationship, I am sure that you understand you can't make him do the more sensible or 'right' thing. But you can.
You're on the verge of divorce & y'all are bickering over Facebook statuses? Sounds like it's time to delete the damn FB account!
