Did I Really Ruin Christmas?

My my my she is the great manipulator! Tell them to get over it just like he got over her having an affair.

He is overreacting but in the interest of good relationships, I would call her and explain and try to mend.

ADD: you can also have a friend on Facebook and block them in a way so you can't see them even though they are friends. I googled and found the directions on how. This may be the ideal solution for you to patch up and stay out of their business.

Original: It's a big deal because he's on pins and needles. SHE broke the freaking marriage, and her behavior is at fault here. If you want to be the only adult, you can contact her and tell her that you are pleased that they are working on their marriage and look forward to seeing her at Christmas. Then let the "kids" do whatever. Ugh, drama!

They're completely over-reacting. You did the right thing by removing her as a friend on Facebook because A.) she cheated and B.) she then left your brother and C.) it would have been weird if you had kept her on as a friend after all of that because D.) your brother would have accused you of being disloyal.

You're not ruining Christmas or their marriage. Tell them this:

"Daniel and Snowflake, I'm sorry you feel my unfriending Snowflake from Facebook was a Very Bad Thing. My goal was to take myself out of any issues that might occur since Facebook can be so drama-filled and I didn't want to risk learning information about Snowflake that that wouldn't be fair to know. That said, I'm very sorry you're having problems in your marriage, and I hope you work them out, but I will not accept blame for any of the problems you're having or for whether or not your Christmas is ruined. I'm not interested in being involved in your marriage. Good luck."

And then do NOT add her back as a friend until they know for certain that they're going to reconcile. It would be a bad idea since she could post something or otherwise say something incriminating that you would then have to struggle about saying something to her over or telling your brother about... and what happens the next time they break up?

Not friending someone or not accepting their friend request is no big deal...it just means you didn't actively take a step to friend them. "Unfriending" them requires you to take the active step to unfriend them so it is seen as a deliberate action.

I would tell your brother and your sil that when she had an affair and left, you unfriended her because if they weren't together you didn't want to know what was going on in her private life. You didn't mean to actively offend anyone or cause them problems, you just didn't want to be "in the know" if/when she moved on. If they are back together, I would go ahead and friend her...leave it to her to accept or not.

Seems like your brother is trying to make it work and your SIL is probably ashamed for her part in all this and is uncomfortable that everyone knows. She's just using the FB thing as an excuse (or she is really immature).

You did nothing wrong and you did not ruin Christmas. Your brother is focusing on that one minor detail because he's in too much pain to consider the big picture. And I suspect that his wife is doing the same. It's so much easier to blame you for ruining Christmas than to blame themselves. Your sil ruined Christmas and your brother, in his pain, is focusing his anger on you.

Perhaps you could send a friend request to her. No need to apologize. No need to say anything. Just send the request.

It is very reasonable to unfriend someone in a situation such as this. Do not blame yourself.

Passive-aggressiveness at its finest. Um, hello?!

Don't you struggle with this another second! She doesn't know if she can be comfortable around you because she cheated on your brother, not because you unfriended her on Facebook!!!

I just want to slap them!

If this is the only way you've shunned your sister in law, then I'd say this is pretty juvenile. We had a similar situation in our family -- brother's wife cheated, he kicked her out, they worked on it and got back together. My sister completely shunned his wife. That hurt. But a facebook unfriend -- at the height of the problem -- is minor. I would send a friend request to her, just to show good faith to your brother and ease his mind, but I wouldn't apologize. Can you imagine if they hadn't gotten back together and you remained friends with her? Where would this conversation be now?!

Seriously?

Its a button click.

That she could have done at any time.

And hasn't.

And now he wants to scream at you?

Displaced anger much?

I would be furious with my brother for yelling at me, period. That's FAR more of an offense in my book.

Although you could make a joke about it. Since its SUCH a "big deal" OF COURSE that's what you were going to give her for Christmas ;)

:***( And now! (Sniff) You've ruined (gulp!) the the the surpriiiiiiiiiiiiise! Waaaaaaaaaaaah"

Oh. Wait. Its not that big a deal? Then WHY were you yelling at me, & threatening me with emotional blackmail by saying Id ruined Xmas??

I think they are being incredibly juvenile--but facebook seems to do that to people!

I agree, you should tell your brother that you unfriended her because you wanted to stay out of their private business. I wouldn't try to friend this person or have her friend you though! I would think that would cause more drama--she seems to be causing enough already.

You did NOT ruin Christmas, your brother and his wife are doing a fine job of that by themselves. I think the real story is your brother's wife is feeling uncomfortable because she CHEATED on him and everyone knows it. Your brother, desperate to make things work, is projecting his anger at you instead of her.

Therefore I would not engage with your brother on this matter. Instead, if he brings it up, ignore whatever he says and respond with "I'm happy that you and your wife are trying to work things out. I'd be happy to see you both at Christmas, but if that's not possible, then hopefully we can see each other soon."

I haven't read the other replies. But my first thought is that your brother is dealing with such a pile of emotion that some of it spilled on you.

I hope the counseling works out. Obviously he wants it to.

Wow, you have a lot of responses!! I just want to say three things:
First, your facebook page is your business.
Second, your brother's wife needs to accept responsibilty for her actions.
And finally, your brother can blame you for everything under the sun, but that won't change anything.
Sounds like they are trying to ruin your Christmas. So have Christmas in peace without them. You know they won't.

So much easier to be mad at you, and unite over, it rather than actually deal with their relationship. I'd be the bigger person and give her a chance. If they are this invested in being mad at you and can't understand your actions, the relationship is doomed the minute you take the wind out of their sails ie their anger towards you.

Uh, yeah, I think of all the problems they have, they sure picked a stupid one to focus on. Its a tempest in a teapot.

That may be exactly what they want to do, cause a distraction. It would be so convient to make you the one that caused discontentment in the family. That would take the focus off of them and their problems.

You have to decide how far you are going to go to accommodate their feelings or sham feelings. If you want to make this effort and try to make it a good Christmas you can friend her and seal the deal but that doesnt mean that will be the end of it. The best thing is to be very cool calm and collected. It makes them look as crazy as they are.

What is she-14? I would have "unfriended" her, as well; due to her shocking lapse in judgement. She deserved, at the time, no insight into your friends and family. You didn't know what someone could put on there that would somehow put your brother at risk. Was she expecting you to side with her? They are working things out-how-if she is this riveted on FB? She sounds delusional-be careful-when you shatter someone's fixed delusions-it can get ugly. Her's goes something like this, "I will do whatever I want and everyone will still trust and love me." Yea, right. Merry Christmas-and no, you did not ruin Christmas!

You have alot of really great responses which seems like everyone feels the same. So, I'll just add a little too it and someone may have already said it, I didn't read through all of them.

You need to tell your brother that his wife is "deflecting" her wrong doing onto you. She obviously isn't taking full responsibility for what she did, so she's got to make a problem out of something to keep your brother's mind off of what she did.

she sounds cucko for coco puffs.

Talk to him when he calms down. Let him know that at the time you unfriended her, you thought it best as a way to support him. Let him know that now that they are working on their marriage you are happy to support him and would be willing to be friends with her again on FB.

If she is saying that she can't be comfortable around you at Christmas because you unfriended her, then she has some really big issues. She had an affair, don't you think that is what should make her feel uncomfortable not whether someone unfriended her on a stupid social media site. I think she has blown this way out of proportion in order to hide her embarassment and shame at her own behavior.

But from your end, just smile and be cooperative. No point in letting this escalate any further. They will either make things work through counseling or not. Your actions are not going to be the deciding factor.

What's happening here is that she is deflecting her bad behavior off onto YOU. Your brother wants to believe that they can fix their relationship, so he is blaming you for something so that he can bury his head in the sand.

If they don't come, that should be just fine with you. You should tell your brother that he should be ashamed of himself for yelling at you. Why wouldn't you be upset about what has happened? I can tell you, I've defriended people for a heck of a lot less.

Tell him that you will be happy to re-friend her when she stops treating you like YOU were unfaithful. That's what she's doing, by the way.

Dawn

facebook is the devil

Your brother and his wife are in a sensitive and emotional place right know, and it sounds like anything would set them off.

With that said, you did NOT ruin Christmas. If you didn't feel right sbout having his wife as a facebook friend, then that is your choice. You did what you felt was right.

I wouldn't worry about feathers being ruffled. Your brother hs better things to worry about than his wife's facebook "friends". Heck, I don't have most of my family in facebook.

No need to apologize, and this is not a deal breaker. He's making a mountain out of a molehill. Your brother needs to get his priorities straight.

Your are right, he is wrong. He owes you an apology for the way he treated you. Period. End of discussion.

It's called personal responsibility. Your brother is married to her, though separated, they and only they can save or ruin their marriage.

Even if they get back together you do not have to friend her on facebook or even like her in real life. No one can tell you who to be friends with or who to not be friends with.

It is NOT your fault. You did what you thought was best at the time. Your brother and his wife/ex are on rocky terms and are looking for ANYWHERE but the right place to place their blame. Don't let them feed you that lie. You didn't do anything wrong.

Re-friend her if you want to, but you may want to take a "wait and see"approach first to see if things get better.

You don't need to say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. The reason it is a big deal, is because they are being too immature to handle their own problems so they are creating a problem so they can blame someone else. Take yourself out of the drama and tell them that its up to them to create their own happiness. You have nothing to do with that.

The two of them have things to work out of their own. You or FB are the least of their problems and she is looking for reasons to hang on to a grudge and he is trying to hold on to her.

In hindsight, had you left her as your friend, she wouldn't have to feel as though she is crawling back to the whole family. In a marriage, people have to realize that when you hurt a relative, that family will protect their loved ones. That is what family is about, although it can sometimes make things very difficult in a relationship.

My suggestion to you...friend her and say as little as possible. They are paying someone to assist in repairing their relationship. He wants to be with her. A FB friend will not hurt you, as for right now they are looking for everything and everyone to be like it used to be.

A little info on FB experience...my sister de-friended me after she had a blow out with my mother. It has been well over a year. I think because it is online and in writing that it is a little more difficult to repair. Prior to that, she shared with me that she went through my friends list and someone was friends with me and never asked her to be friends. FB is just one of the new things where our business is on display and people are getting hurt over NOTHING! Texting is wonderful as well. She told my mother off in text. I guess there isn't enough guts in the world to say what she had to say and hear my mother put her back in her place.

If you love your brother and want to see him happy, click the friend button and see what goes from there.

Best wishes.

Wow, she has an affair and they are in counseling and it is YOUR fault because you unfriended her. He is really reaching to blame someone else. What I think he is doing is trying to forgive her and work past their issues, so he wants you to be friends with her also.

Of course you did no wrong, but if you could manage to send her a friend request on facebook it would go far to get you out of the family drama. Yes apologize to her and be done with it.

The brother's wife is just paranoid and guilty. She's grasping for ways to avoid being around family that knows she's an adultress, she's using the FB friend thing as a diversion tactic. She sounds immature and not repentive of her sin towards your brother.
I dont think you owe any apologies, send a friend request to her, doesnt mean you have to talk to her if you don't want to. Make her an acquaintance until all the fences are mended.
Be the bigger person and don't put your brother in the middle of a cat fight.

I think your SIL is just trying to divert attention from the fact that she not only "ruined" Christmas, but nearly their marriage by CHEATING on your brother. Really? YOU ruined Christmas?
I would just let your brother know that you weren't sure if he would want her seeing any perosnal information through Facebook at the time. If they would not have reconciled, would he be angry that you stayed FB friends? It really was a lose-lose situation for you. I don't even understand why people in general place so much importance on FB "friendhsips." Your SIL clearly needs to grow up, as evidenced in many ways!

Holy cow, LOL.......... me and my sister got into a huge fight last week and she unfriended me....... funny thing, we live down the street from each other, and all of us see each other all the time. I let it go - and we've seen each other several times since and everything is fine. Facebook friends are stupid! haha

**Show your Brother... all of the responses you get here.
It is more anonymous than Facebook.
----------------------------

OMG... how on earth can they "blame" you????
That is unreasonable.
They are displacing their own problems... onto you. ie: scapegoat.
And from now on, any success or failure of their relationship... will they blame you???
Geez.

THEY HURT THEIR OWN marriage.
The so called Wife... ruined it.

Facebook... is no place to put or do, anything personal.
And yes, lots of people, hinge their LIFE on it.
Irrational.

Again, SHE did something awful. It affected their marriage.
And she is uncomfortable around "you?"
That is irrational.
She can't just expect EVERYONE... to think rainbows and fairies about her, after what she did.
SHE CREATED her own... mess. And yes, that also affects how others may think of her, now. She is not OWNING her own... mess and how that affects others perceptions of her.

Even if you do apologize... I am sure, she or your brother, will not let go of it. They MAY still... hold a "grudge" against you. And for how long???
They will probably hold it over your head... forever?
THEY HAVE TO, fix themselves.

And besides... I am sure, the ENTIRE TOWN... knows of their problems and of her affair.
Geez.

The woman... is being a wimpy childish Toddler.
It is not your fault.
AND your Brother... CANNOT expect... EVERYONE and you... to ADORE his so called Wife, after she did that.
BUT, your Brother, is ALLOWING HIS WIFE... to blame you and he is ALLOWING his Wife, to call the shots and "control" their counseling and who to blame for her hissy fits and embarrassment.
They both sound, very immature... and he and she are still NOT "owning" their problems. Cowardly.

You... did not ruin Christmas.
THEY did.
Or rather, his Wife, did.

My friend's sister in law... had an affair and left the Husband. The ENTIRE family knew even if the brother hid it.
The family... DISOWNED her. As far as they are concerned, SHE has to, fix herself and regain any respect she expects from them.
They will not put up with her and all the hurt and misery she caused the Brother, AND their entire family. SHE created... all that drama, and still... does. But does not take responsibility, for it.
Much like your, sister in law.

Your sister in law... seems to still be... manipulating your Brother and is getting her way.
And your Brother screaming at you that you ruined Christmas... is because: HE is getting S**t from her, and he just wants to please her no matter what.
So what if you unfriended her.
That is not the problem.

His Wife, is still... causing problems, and will continue to do so, and your Brother will be her doormat.... and more. And they or he... will ruin the whole family, for... her. SHE, is calling all the shots. I hope you see that.

She is a very Narcissistic manipulative woman.
She is now destroying the relationship your brother has with you.
What will she do with the rest of your family????

Your brother, will just do ANYTHING SHE WANTS, just to have her back.
That is wimpy.
He is her Doormat.
Still.

Can't you just say, "I'm sorry I hurt you?" Does you apologizing necessarily mean you agree that you ruined Christmas and are "vengeful and have no compassion." It just means that you regret that your actions caused her pain in any way. It doesn't matter that her pain seems irrational to you. It's her pain. Apologizing is basically saying that you didn't mean to do anything that caused her pain.

Would it really be so terrible to apologize? Sometimes in life, we just need to take responsibility (even when we did nothing wrong) in order to keep the peace and move on. It happens at work, and it happens in families. Just tell her you are very sorry you hurt her and that you are very happy they are trying to work things out.

good lord....drama much!

i guess it comes down to, do you value the relationship with your brother more than the need to be "right"? (cuz you are my friend..wow..you are)

either you can suck it up, apologize (or at least pretend to) and "let it go" for the sake of family, or you can rightly tell him he's being an idiot and walk away.

Only for the sake of the family, I say you do what your brother is asking of you. Even tho she doesn't deserve it, just be the bigger person.

LOL, they are looking for a distraction from the real issue and that is your brother taking her back so soon after she had an affair. It's easier to make you the fall guy while they avoid taking responsibility for their behavior. her cheating and your brother throwing a tantrum over Facebook.

Honestly, I think he is feeling weak and foolish for attempting to reconcile and knows it deep in his heart and in his weakest moment his wife has managed to manipulate and undermine him again by perpetuating her drama.

Christmas has not been ruined for you. YOU DON'T OWE HER ANYTHING YOU DON'T HAVE TO RE-FRIEND HER. IT'S FACEBOOK FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!! I wish people would stop encouraging others to not follow their mind. Friending her again on Facebook does absolutely nothing!!!!

ooh sweet mother of God...are you freaking serious???

Are they in High School? No. You did NOT ruin Christmas. No way. No how. No. You are NOT wrong.

She needs to grow up. Facebook is a SOCIAL...it is NOT face-to-face. How is vengeful of you or how do you even lack compassion because you unfriended her??

You will continue to struggle to find out why it's a big deal because YOU are an adult. She is still a petulant child. You KNOW that facebook is NOT a deal breaker. You KNOW that Facebook is NOT the end-all-to-be-all...she is using this as a manipulation and it's working. It is distracting them from the true source of their marital problems.

If my brother called me screaming at me? I would tell him that he CANNOT speak to me that way, to call me back when he can talk like a man instead of a child and hang up. DO NOT ALLOW him to treat you so poorly.

If Facebook and your not being a friend is hurting their marriage - they have MORE serious problems than you....I do NOT think what you did is wrong.

Both your brother and sister in law owe you an apology in my book.

Good luck!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I don't think you ruined anything. I think they both are just struggling with the events that are happening to them & are just using that as a cover. she did something wrong and it was your decision to unfriend as long as you was mean & posted a bunch of negative stuff them it shouldn't matter. I agree with you facebook really does not mean anything. Keep your head up & stand your ground for what you feel is right. If you wouldn't of unfriended her & they didn't try to get back together who's to say your brother wouldn't of got mad because you didn't unfriend her.Good luck & Merry Christmas.

Oh brother, so to speak......... that is just so petty... you aren't hurting their marriage, SHE already did that... and to think , she won't feel comfortable around you, what about you around her.. IF they hadn't been trying to work things out, would he have cared if you defriended her.. probably not..
If they don't come, then it's because of THEM not you.. this kind of talk leads me to think that if he thinks by you defriending her is what's ruining his marriage, then he's way in denial..................... and so is his wife..
IF they do work it out, they owe everyone an apology too for dragging people into the drama.. also... my advice, from now on, don't go anywhere near the situation... sometimes, when people are in denial and or in crisis, they will do everything in their power to blame everyone else..
By your brother blaming you is a way for him NOT to look at himself and consider why his wife may have had the affair and this goes for her as well..
bottomline, don't let their trips become yours..

NO! You did not ruin Christmas.

I don't believe that Christmas can truly be "ruined" anyway. It might turn out differently than we expected. So much for high expectations.

Unless someone dies on Christmas (and I know lots of families that's happened to), Christmas isn't ruined.

Anyway, I'll bet every possession that I have that the REAL reason she doesn't feel comfortable around you is due to her own lack of discretion.
You and facebook are just the scapegoats.

I would tell your brother that the reason you "unfriended" her is because you didn't want to read their/her personal business and it's as simple as that. They were going through drama, trauma, whatever, and you didn't want to be in the middle of it. Tell him the truth....that you felt by some of the things she posted you already knew too much and you were trying to avoid that. That's all. Funny how the facebook thing happened months ago and now you're getting blamed for ruining Christmas. That's THEIR issue. For you, it's a non-issue, and if they want to blame you for hurting their marriage, fine. They don't want to see that their marriage was already hurt and it wasn't done by you. You want to be supportive. You don't want to have judgements. THAT'S why you chose not to read about it on facebook, of all things. If they want to insist on being mad at you for that, there's nothing you can do about it......

I've had to "unfriend" a couple of people simply because they were posting things and photos that would give some of my relatives and elderly friends a heart attack. I drop the F-bomb about every 15 minutes or so (perhaps that's an exaggeration) and I'm not easily offended by certain things. Out of respect for certain people, I censor myself, and I don't need 80 year old Aunt Lydia sending me a happy birthday wish and seeing something that could give her a stroke.

There are lots of reasons for unfriending someone and I think your reason was very valid, appropriate, and even classy, dare I say. Certainly classier than spreading very intimate information for everyone to see. Some people are drama addicts and you took the high road. If that is so NOT ruining Christmas, I don't know what else to say.

Let them blame you.
That's not accepting responsibility.
That's not apologizing.
That's taking the high road, once again, and taking the wind out of that sail.
Take the blame. Now what?

They'll find someone else to blame because it's easier to look outward than inward. They don't want to face their OWN situation.

That's all this is.

I have been through lots of therapy with my abusive husband and going through my divorce, blah, blah, blah. I have dealt with lots of deflection.

This, my dear, is a classic case.

Don't let it wear you down.

Best wishes and have a Merry Christmas!

Wowza.

YOU did not ruin Christmas. HE is ruining Christmas for you by 1. getting into drama that is between you and SIL (if there's drama at all) and 2. putting more importance in FB than there ought to be.

If she can't be comfortable around you, then that's something she needs to deal with, but the way I read it is that you unfriended her when she had an affair on your brother and then left him. I'd have unfriended, her, too. She screwed up. She made this bed and sounds like she's finding it kind of lumpy.

You already said that she could refriend you. I think what's going on is a lot of emotion around the affair and the leaving that isn't really about you, but you are an easy target. You have nothing to apologize for. If she wants to woman-up, she should send the friend request. I would not. I do not think you are wrong. I think they are.

I'd tell the hosts that you will be civil if they come, and you really don't understand the drama and do not want to discuss it and have it taint Christmas.

ETA: I have to wonder - if the two of them put less time/importance in electrons and more effort into each other, would they be in this situation now? Sounds like they need to get offline for a while.

You're not wrong.
They are displacing their anger onto you.
He/they are being unreasonable because it's easier to fight with / be mad at you than it is to fight with / be mad at each other.
In other words - they STILL are not communicating between themselves.
You can friend her again for his sake this time.
Or you can tell him off for trying to dictate who you can friend.
They may or may not patch things up permanently.
You'll always be his sister regardless of whether the wife is in the picture or not.

She had a an affair, left him, so you unfriended her. That is not wrong at all. Anybody would have done the same in anger. She seems to be pretty manipulative. She is not only back in his life but also making it sound like it's your mistake. She needs to understand she was wrong and her husband and family are giving her a second chance.
Would sending her a friend request solve the issue? If the lady is gonna be part of the family , I would suggest just try not to make a big deal of it . Fb is not something to be taken so seriously, just send her a request and leave it at that.

Well I don't think you ruined Christmas because you I friended her--how long ago?--when she left him, but I do think the least you could do, out of love for your brother and respect for a couple trying to stay together is send HER the friend request!
Seems a little passive-aggressive to tell HIM to tell HER to friend YOU, doesn't it?
My .02

I always find it hilarious when grown adults get into real life fights about things that happen on Facebook. I would have asked your brother, so she cheated on you and left you, did you want me to continue being her friend? People have unfriended me and I never even knew till long time later. Your brother needs to worry more about his marriage and less about who you are fb friends with. Garbage like this is probably the reason they started having martial problems on the first place.

Just ignore him, if she is that worried about it she can refriend you.

It's the human interaction that counts. It's sad technology has almost replaced that in terms of what matters.

It's not a big deal. FB turns us all into 15 year olds.

My first thought was that he is taking some of this out on you, just like Mary said. We have had family drama around unfriending and FB, but no one has ever gone as far as your brother in this case.

I would send both him and his wife an email (bc email is less emotion filled and you can think about what you say before you actually say it :) explaining, rationally why you did it - Je$$ gives great direction on wording - honest, not blaming, reasonable and level headed, as both of them are probably anything but at this moment. Then tell them you will be happy to see them at Christmas.

These two need the benefit of the doubt, not an apology, for now.

Why don't you friend her and then block her from seeing everything! hehehe... sounds more like her game.

I like Daisey F's answer!

I read one answer (Boss Fan) and totally agree with everything said!

This sort of facebook drama is annoying. I want to defriend my BIL's ex, they just broke up a month or so ago, but I haven't because I don't want him to cause more drama with BIL. I just hide all his posts and make it so he can't see mine. It's annoying, but BIL wants to still be friends with him and he thinks we all should to, but I hate drama so I'm doing it.

It's just facebook. Facebook is not life.

I had no idea Facebook was such a killer of relationships. To me or you it might not be a big deal. I have a friend who was devastated because her sister cut her off so she cut of her Facebook, now none of the rest of her friends (me included) can't facebook her. What the heck is this about? My son had something on his Facebook, he is twenty two, my nephew is twelve (is he even supposed to be on Facebook?) and apparently my sons said something that disturbed my sister in law so my brother, sister in law, son and who knows else, cut my son off. He is very upset and now he doesn't even want to go to Christmas!!! yikes and to me it's so sad that people get so hurt by this. Every now and then I notice someone is off, or cut me??? who knows, I don't have time to analyze it. Point is, no you didn't. I can't imagine why this is a big deal and maybe the girl ought to grow up. Sorry, don't know what else to say. You certainly didn't ruin Christmas she is using this as an excuse. Good grief. What are you supposed to apologize for? I think she can't be comfortable around anyone because she had an affair and doesn't feel like she can explain it because it is your family. So...hence the great excuse that you cut her off of Facebook. How are You hurting their marriage? She already did this. But he can get mad at you, sadly he isn't ready to confront her.
So sorry you are going through this.

I hate AFFAIRS! THATS JUST A LOW LIFE THNG TO DO'!' God I just want to slap someone right now! You're not ruining Christmas if they want to be big cry babies let them! dont have them make Christmas miserable for you. They are going through a tough time they cant take it out on you. Its just unfriending her on facebook! WHO CARES! Its not like you wanted to be friends with someone who hurt your brother! God they need to build a bridge and GET OVER IT!