Will He Go to College in Diapers?

My oldest would always wait until we put a pull-up on at night then he'd have a BM, I'd change him and he'd go to bed...I think he just decided one day that he could go on the toilet because honestly I can't remember how it all ended...it's been a while.
With my youngest daughter, potty training didn't work at all until one day I had her say goodbye to her diapers and she watched me carry them to the trash. Once she realized there was no going back, she was by far my easiest to train.
Good luck

I think I have you beat! One of my triplets decided he wasn't interested in the potty at all. I was honestly trying to decide if there was any possibility of sending him to kindergarten in pull-ups! Luckily he decided to pull it together just before the beginning of school. I think you're right to back off a bit--that seems to be what helped us. We ignored the whole potty issue but when he wanted to do something like go swimming, we just said he couldn't because he didn't want to use the potty. After a while, he got tired of being left out. I felt bad about leaving him out of the fun that the others boys were having... But I think it persuaded him in the end!

My first son did this, potty trained so easy but the poopy training not so much. You are going to think this is so funny but my husband taught him to poop outside when we were camping and made it this big fun deal. For the two days we camped he would run to the trees and poop. So funny. When we got home, he immediately went to the trees in our backyard and I was terrified that this was going to be what he did. Strangely, I just told him the pooping outside was for camping and at home you do it in the toilet. I have no idea why, but it worked and we never had a problem again.

As far as reverting back, I wouldn't have him stay lengths of time at your parents until he has been in preschool for a while so it becomes a set thing. My parents always undo what I have done with my kids. It's a sign of a good spoilin' set of grandparents.

Good luck.

My daughter was nervous about going poop in the potty when she was three. My grandma would sit in the bathroom with her when she needed to go and read stories to her until she pooped. My daughter like to see it before we flushed it. It took a week or two before she was comfortable going by herself (after the first couple of times she was okay with it being me who read the story). So maybe when he asks for a diaper for poop, you can have him sit on the potty for 3-5 minutes and read to him or something. Once he goes a couple of times he might remember how much better it is.

For my son, potty training had become a big battle of the wills, and for him I had to put him in diapers and then decide that his favorite activity (nintendo) was for big boys and big boys wore underpants and went potty. If he asked to play nintendo, I would tell him it was for big boys who went potty, but I didn't mention the potty other than that for a while (he went through a few weeks where he "didn't want nintendo" too). Finally he was ready to make the decision and was potty trained. This might be something that works for him, too.

I want to reassure you that he won't be going to college (or even kindergarten) in diapers. I know it feels like that! My son was 4 before he was trained, and I had people telling me he was never going to be trained if I didn't get tough. He's 8 now and never has accidents. Sometimes the peer pressure of being around othr kids who potty will be enough to get him going again - will the preschool work with you at all? (Maybe if he generally poops about the same time, go for a session that is not during that time.)

This is all normal. Tons of kids, especially boys, go through this identical situation. Just be discreet, and eventually he will poop in the potty.

Plus, it's okay to skip pre-school. It's really just daycare. So don't worry if he's pooping in diapers because of pre-school. Many, many other families I know skipped pre-school, as did I, and our kids are all great students. You can easily teach him colors and numbers at home and join playgroups for fun. He'll be happier with you and the sibling, too. (You'll also discover down the road that it's petty easy to teach reading, too.)

We had issues with #2 training in the potty too. Our son just turned three last week, and had been doing great on potty training, except for the whole pooping thing.... until we started to increase the bribes. I know this sounds bad, but bribing him worked! Within a week he was totally, 100% potty trained. He has now been potty trained for close to a month. The way we started was by taking him to Toys R Us and letting him pick out any three toys he wanted (within reason). He got one toy each time he pooped in the potty, but if he pooped in his underpants, he lost his prizes. He didn't get them back until he pooped in the potty again. I know it sounds a bit mean, but it worked! He only pooped in his underpants once!! The one time that he did poop in his underpants, we didn't make him feel bad or anything, but simply took his prizes away until he went again. I really hope this helps. We still used mostly positive reinforcement, but also needed to throw in a tiny bit of negative. Best of luck!

Yep, bribe. YOu don't have to do it forever, just until it sinks in... Bribe darling, bribe.

My son was more than 4 years old by the time he potty trained. I think you'll be fine, just remember he won't be this way next year. During the day, you could just remove the option of giving him a diaper, then if he goes in his underwear make him hold it by a dry corner and dip it in the toilet while it flushes. Maybe find out if there was a traumatic experience at grandma'- not necessarily their being mean, but anything that was hard for him, especially relating to potty.

No, he won't go to college or even kindergarten in diapers! Hang in there!

My son, who turned 4 in May, had a similar situation. He is finally just now where he is completely toilet trained and it took me a year to get him here. The funny little tricks that helped with the pooping were teasing him not to go on the toilet and him getting to go to Grammie's house if he did. So when he had to go poopie, I would say in a teasing sing-songy voice, "Oh no don't do it; don't go in there and go poopie on the toilet. Only big boys do that; you're too little!" Then he would get this mischievous grin on his face and run in to use the toilet. Then we would call Grammie to tell her that he had done it and he would want to go to her house. Now my mom only lives 3 minutes away, so this worked really well for us. After a while he would just start going poopie by himself then come running out asking to go to Grammie's house. The final thing that did it for us too was I just got sick of changing poopie underwear and rinsing them out, etc. So I told him, if you really aren't planning to go on the toilet ask for a pull-up or a diaper because I am tired of cleaning poopie underwear; it is disgusting! He did that a few times, but I think he realized how much I really didn't want to clean those, plus it was more effort to get the pull up put on then to just go in and use the toilet.

Anyway, hope these help.
Good luck!

Sorry this is late in coming. Just wanted to encourage you to have hope, I have yet to see a kid graduate high school in diapers. :-) I didnt read all the posts, but have you tried telling him that you dont have any more diapers because he is a big boy. Our daughter was the same and at 3 !/2 she got it. She refused to poop in the toilet. She would wait all day until we put on pull ups and then go. So finally we told her we had no more pull ups and we worked on learning to wake up at night if she needed to go. She had no choice in diapers, so after she realized she would have to clean herself up and perhaps even have her special underwear thrown away she used the potty. It may seem a little harsh, but it worked when she knew there were no other options. Plus with pre school as a option, hype up the big boy thing and how all the kids that get to go use the potty all the time, sometime per pressure is a good thing. Best of luck!

We dump the poop from the diaper into the potty...and then yell in our deepest voices "bye bye, poopie!" as we flush. A few days later, when he asks for a diaper, ask, "do you wanna make your poopie in the potty? Daddy makes his poopie in the potty. Mommy makes her poopie in the potty. XXXX (neighbor kid) makes his/her poopie in the potty. Do you want to make your poopie in the potty?"

If he says no, just drop the subject and get him a diaper.

Let the poopie diaper stay on him long enough to get dried on. Change him...and scrub hard to get that poop off. Be sure to let him know that it's soooo much easier to clean the poop off his butt when he poops in the potty.

OR....you could ask him if he wants to squat down and poop onto the diaper without actually putting it on. That has to be an intermediate step, right?

Anyway, boys are stubborn. The more you don't push him - let him be in control - the faster he'll leave this phase.

I didn't read some of the other responses, so sorry if this is redundant. My daughter was the same way with the poop training. What finally worked for her was getting her a toy that she really really wanted. In this case it was one of the big My Little Pony dolls for about $14. We took her shopping for it, and explained that it was going to be her prize for pooping in the potty. It was something bigger and nicer than she would ever get "just because" or for something small. We put the unopened doll on the top of our kitchen cabinets so that it was in full sight for the majority of the day, but fully out of reach for her. We explained to her that as soon as she got 10 stickers (she already had a sticker chart for potty training) on her potty chart for pooping, then she could have her doll. We told her that she had to get 10 stickers in a row, and if she pooped in her panties the count would start over. It took her about a month and a half to get 10 stickers in a row going poop about once a day. It finally clicked in her mind that it was going to take FOREVER if she didn't just do it in the potty because the count would start over. One time she even had 8 stickers lined up, and then pooped in her underwear. She had to start over. That was the last time she had to start over. At your son's age, he should understand something like that and it may really help. You don't have to be as harsh as making him start over if you don't want. With our daughter, it was the only thing that worked. Good luck!

my oldest was this way and i was so frustrated! he had pooped in the toilet a few times, but then refused to do it again, but he peed only in the toilet. he took years to potty train from start to finish. i was healing from a surgery and it hurt to squat or kneel. sometimes i was in tears cleaning him and his brother up. i don't know if it was consideration for how i was feeling or something else, but one day my oldest came into the room to tell me he had pooped on the toilet. he used the toilet from then on. he was 4 at the time, but he had missed the deadline for preschool because there was no preschool that would take him until he was fully potty trained. i was lucky to find one that had an opening for the winter semester and it worked out fine. good luck!

Hi C.,

Both my boys were the same way, infact they both would stand in the bathroom and poop in their diapers, lol!! I too thought they would never go in the potty! Then it happened both on the exact day they turned 3 1/2. Somehow they just got it! Just stay positive and encouraging...he will get it :-)

One of the little boys I watch in my daycare had a simliar situation. When he went in for his 3yo well check, the ped told mom not to give him diapers anymore for pooping. If he knows he needs to go enough to ask for a diaper, he can go in the potty. This little boy held it and held it and got constipated. Dr. told them to take Miralax once a day. It is the most gentle laxitive out there. This helped since, at this point, he held his poo for over a week. He had one day at home where it was quite loose, but he never had an accident. It wasn't hard (constipated) so it didn't hurt and it was a little bit often, which gave him lots of practice. He got comfortable with it and now has no problem.

Having heard about their experience, I felt a little prepared when my son was potty trained a few months later. He also was nervous about going poop in the potty. A few times he would save it for nap or bedtime (when he was still in diapers). Sometimes he would wait a couple days before finally going. We refused to put him in a diaper for pooping. We just believe if he is old enough to ask for a diaper for that, he is old enough to go in the potty. Sometimes we had to tell him we weren't going to ____ (park, store, dinner, etc..) until he tried. We had him try for 3 minutes (because he was 3yo) with privacy. It usually worked pretty quickly. He always goes better if no one is in there with him. I tried staying in there and reading books to him or just keeping him company, but he never went. The minute we left the room, he relaxed enough to go. So we tell him he has to try for 3 minutes with privacy. :o)

We also explained the whole digestive process (in preschool terms) to our son. This really helped him understand why the poop had to come out. We explained what happens if it stays in there and what constipation is. It all made sense to him.

Just be consistent. Whenever he is showing signs of needing to go, make him try for 3 min (or whatever). It is a lot of work...just like starting potty training over again. He will eventually go. Possibly try the miralax if constipation is an issue - check with your doctor first. Don't give a diaper to him. Talk to him about why he doesn't need it anymore. He is a big boy and he can do it. He's done it before! Good luck, Mama!

All of the other moms have some great advise. I would also suggest "peer pressure" for someone this age. You would be surprised what kids that age will do for another kid he/she looks up to. Do you know any boys who are around 4 that your son plays with--a siblings, cousin, neighborhood friend? Have them come over and show your son how they go on the potty. Praise the friend for his good job, but don't mention your son. When your son asks for a pull-up, ask him "do you want to try to go on the big boy potty like "so and so", or do you still need a little boy diaper?". If this friend is around enough, and your son looks up to him, he will want to be a big boy like him. Good luck.

Hi C. - All kids have their "ah ha" moment where they finally "get it". Our job is to help them find it. Eventually you'll need to get rid of every diaper and pullup in your house and telling your son it's just not an option to do it that way anymore.

With my oldest, at first, we had him sit on the potty in the morning. We gave it 10 minutes, if he didnt have a movement, then I tried again late afternoon and then before bed. If your son has regular times he goes, then sit him on the potty then. You might need to keep him company in the bathroom reading books or talking to keep him there long enough to relax. You might need to wear a mask or bring a scented hankie if bathroom smells bother you.

Eventually we found a time of day he was successful most of the time.

it will get better!