Help Me Please, My 3 Year Old Won't Use the Potty!

Have you considered a sticker chart? It has worked for so many moms I know. Some kids just need a positive incentive. For every day she doesn't have an accident, she can place the sticker on her chart herself. It's amazing how much kids love the act of placing the sticker on the chart. That is so rewarding for them.

I agree with all the moms who answered that it's probably a control thing. I took care of a little girl who was fully trained here at my house, but routinely had all sorts of accidents at home with her parents.
Good luck!

E.:
Take off the diaper and put on the underpants. They don't like getting all wet and pee running down their legs, etc. The diaper is just absorbing everything. My granddaughter is not quite 2-1/2 yrs. and is doing very well. Also, pooping on the toilet, too. Try it....you'll be surprised how quickly it works.

I can relate to this as the mom of a 3.5 year old who only JUST recently started using the toilet to pee (we are actually still working on the poop part, that is not going well!!). She had all the nice undies like yours, I knew she could do it, she would announce when she had to go and when she did pee, all the same things your daughter is doing. I found that it really wasn't helping to get into the power struggle thing with her, in fact, it was making it worse. Once I laid off a little she started using the toilet more and more, which led to her confidence rising, and here we are. For my daughter, it helped her to know that she was going to be starting gymnastics, and I told her all the other kids wouldn't be wearing a Pull Up. I really think this stuck in her mind and she made the decision to be a "big girl", finally! But I told myself that if she went to gymnastics in a Pull Up, so be it... I really had to let go a little. She was slow with most all the physical things she did, like crawling and walking, so it was no surprise to me that toilet training took so long.

It sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can! My advice is really to just keep doing that, but hang back a little and see what happens. Tell yourself that she WILL get it! She won't go to kindergarten in a Pull Up or diaper! People used to say that to me and I would roll my eyes, but it's true. Now if I could just get my little girl to try #2 in the toilet - I might be posting my own question soon!! Good luck and hang in there.

Don't let her wear a diaper. It is a crutch and it makes it "OK" for her to go potty in it. Try a whole day of just big girl underpants. When my daughter was potty training we put underpants on her and it was like majic, she never wore a diaper again.

We switched my daughter into underwear at three and didn't give her a choice about it. I think that were it up to her she would never have switched. When we insisted that she try going, she wouldn't and she had accident after accident. When we finally said "you're a big girl, you know how to do this and we're not going to talk about it any more" she trained herself in just about 2 weeks. At the beginning it was a lot of laundry, but it wasn't really any worse than changing diapers. Making it a power struggle really did make it worse. Sometimes she'd be hopping up and down, and I had to remind myself not to say anything. That worked actually especially well for poop "accidents" too.

I really recommend giving her a date (one week, or whatever feels reasonable) and then telling her that she can't wear diapers during the day any more. Don't say anything about having to use the potty. Put the power in her hands and it will be successful.

Good luck. Potty training is miserable.

You need to put the diapers away during the day!! Both of my children finally trained when I put them in underwear and never turned back to diapers or pull ups. You will have to clean up some messes, but it shouldn't last long. Your daughter needs to feel how uncomfortable it is to have wet clothes on and then she will start to understand the importance of making it to the potty. Good luck and hang in there, it will not go on forever!!

Hi there,
I also think putting her in underwear is a good course. Prepare yourself mentally for pee clean ups, but she will not enjoy being wet... and it wont last too long.
If she can do it at preschool she can also do it at home, It might be an attention thing as mummy has to spend more time with her trying to get her to go on toilet/potty...
Lots of praise for any little progress and also reminders that she is a big girl now and you are proud of her....
Also remind yourself she will get it eventually, kids pick up on our stress levels and it causes stress in them too, I know my stress levels effected my daughter' training and when I gave up stressing about it too much it helped everyone....
good luck!!

I hate to tell this to you but it's a control thing with her over you.
Before you think I'm a pain for saying that my son was the same way at school except that he just turned 4. He would be dry all day at school and not poop within a half hour of being home he would poop. It's so aggrevating. well the day after christmas i had enough and told him you aren't getting a daiper only underwear. He had a few accidents with pee and a bunch with poop. He would make us leave the room when he pooped so I started getting mad because he totally knew he had to go use the toilet. Well last thursday i bribed him with fruit snacks and it worked. He's only pooped twice(in his diaper at night) but there hasn't been a poop accident since.
I know it's hard with a baby and that the last thing you want to do is clean pee of the floor but I'ld just go for the underwear. I used to work in a daycare so we're used to potty training and working with parents. Chances are if your daughter is like my son she won't have many accidents and his accidents where more boy related - accidently peeing on his clothes than actual accidents.
my son is on the autism spectrum and is delayed in speech and has other issues so we didn't push the potty training until recently

Stop using diapers during the day.

I did that with my son when he was just over 3.

Yes, there will be accidents. Yes, you'll be annoyed and frustrated with how much laundry you are doing. But she's demonstrated at daycare that she has the control to use the potty. She's being lazy at home and probably using it as a control issue with you. (Don't you love how our children save their "best" behavior for Mommy?)

When the consequences are feeling wet and maybe some embarrassment, she'll learn very quickly. Send extra clothes to daycare and have them handy anytime you are out. Of course if it's a situation that would be really awful if there was an accident then put her in a diaper. For example. I put a diaper on my son on Halloween. I didn't want him to be out in the neighborhood in a costume that couldn't come off quickly and have to pee.

It's so frustrating and tests our patience as parents. You and she WILL get through it.
Good luck!

Put her in underwear...get rid of the diapers. She'll figure out that she doesn't like the feel of the wet underwear, and she'll stop doing it. You might have a couple of nights of frustration, but she'll learn quickly.

I'm really surprised by the responses. It seems to be the general concensus to let your child tell you when they're ready to begin potty training, so I don't see why it should be different for completing it. My daughter was the same way and it was so frustrating to have to change diapers when I knew she was capable of using the toilet at daycare. But I gave her time to choose for herself to be a big girl and it didn't take long before she was using the toilet at home - but I didn't have to clean up poopie underwear in the mean time! I don't think you should force your child to use the bathroom at all. Keep up the positive reinforcement.