Pooping on the Potty

hhhmmmm....my 4yr old...when he was 2...I would take him and put him on the toilet, but I would ask almost every 15mins. it worked for me...but asking all the time was ridiculous...but he would say yes or no...then I would sit him on the toilet and he is not to leave until he poops...so that worked for me. now I'm just working on him wetting the bed at nights!!!!

A.,

I understand you getting frustrated but this is the first clue to let it go for now. Your son will sense your frustration/stress and it will make things worse. It's OK that he isn't pooping on a toilet right now. What you don't want is him holding in his poops - (trust me, on this one). He simply may not be ready yet.

Please read (it's short and very helpful) The No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

Congrats your pregnancy, if you are worried about two in diapers - don't be. It's not a big deal.
M.

Well, this just may be something you have to wait on.... I had the same problem with my son at the same age, and was also expecting my second, so I really wanted him DONE potty training before she arrived.... BUT I knew that pushing was not going to help, just make the situation worse. So once he was waking up consistently dry in the mornings, I got rid of the diapers all together (he only wanted to poop in a diaper) and told him ahead of time that once the diapers were gone the only place he could poop was the potty. So baby came, and I let him keep going in the diapers for a few months to let the new change of having a sister to compete with was not so new. Then I showed him every day for about a week, "okay, only 7 more diapers... 6 more diapers..." until the last day - "last diaper, tomorrow you start pooping in the potty!" saying all this with a very upbeat voice and a smile. The next day I was out of town (I think this helped take the pressure off) and while spending the day with dad he just disappeared for a little while and then came back and announced that he pooped in the potty (wiped and everything!) and that last diaper is still sitting under the bathroom sink today :) I guess my advice then is, just keep things positive, give him a definite direction (tomorrow you will go in the potty, not will you please go poop in the potty????), and just keep waiting with patience. This is not easy to do! Hang in there - I've never known a kindergartner who poops in a diaper! ;)

My 3 year old son was potty trained for pee for 3-4 months before he finally pooped in the toilet. He wore underwear all the time and we would put on a pull-up when he needed to poop. He would tell us and we would get the pull-up. It was ridiculous, but pushing him was causing problems and we knew if we were patient he'd do it on his own. Anyway, we bought him a toy he really wanted and told him when he first went poop on the toilet, he would get it. Still no luck! Finally, one day he asked for a pull-up and it was obvious there was not much time before he had an accident. I sat him on the toilet while I went to get the pull-up, knowing that he would probably go. Sure enough, he couldn't hold it and he went in the toilet. He was soooo excited, jumping up and down even. We gave him his toy and from then on he never used a pull-up again. I guess that he must have been scared to use the toilet for poop and once he had no choice, he realized it was simple. For us, catching him at the exact right timing was key.

My daughter did that for a solid year. When she needed to poop, she would ask for a diaper, poop, then ask to be changed. I just went with it. I could tell she struggled with something, because she would ask me to do things like "cut a hole in the diaper where the poop would come out" and then she would sit on the potty, but that didn't work for her either. One day, she just did it. She's been doing it ever since. Keep the faith! It will happen when he is ready!

Forget about the pull-ups, they are just a safety net. If you are home all day, you can let him run around in his undies and it will be easier to catch him when he gets that "look". Also one of my boys hated to go on the potty so I turned him around backwards so he could hold on to the seat. Could be he is anal retentive and doesn't want to part with "part" of himself.

Hi A., My daughter cried the first time she pooped in the potty, it's scary lots of things are happening with a new baby coming. When he's 10 he won't be pooping in his pants. Don't worry. He's still a baby.
good luck with the new baby! D.

Hi A., The best advice I can give you on this matter is Discipline, and no diapers and no pull ups. When I put my tots in training pants ( cloth ) I never put diapers on them. J. L.

Try and put him on when he is already getting started going poopy. You can also tell him that when he goes poopy on the potty he can go to the book store, toy store, etc. for a "poopy" surprise! I know, sounds rather silly, but it worked for two of my three children. Also, I never used kid potty seats, I just put them on the regular toilet, helped them balance, and let them go. It put them in a better position to get it out!

He will get it in time!

My friend just poopy trained her 3 year old using a reward chart. Every time he came to get her as he was about to go poopy, he'd get a dot. Every time he got her and they made it to the toilet before he pooped he'd get a start. He would get points for every star and not for dots, he started aiming for the stars so he could get his prize at the end of the week. Prizes were usually coloring books, small cars or he could save up for a trip to Chuck E. Cheese or something like that.

Good Luck!

I potty trained my son at 3 1/2 years old, and he wouldn't poop on the potty for at least 2 months after the potty training. My son would run outside and poop in the backyard on the lawn, which is gross, but it really didn't last long, and I didn't have to deal with poopy pants or anything like that. I decided not to make a big deal out of it, I would let him know that poop goes in the potty, and tell him that he needs to try going there first, but he pretty much got the hang of it on his own. Good luck !!

An ocassional cold shower with the poop accidents might help as he's refusing to go poopy when he is holding it...

sounds mean but works miracles... just don't try it on a cold rainy day b/c the kid can get sick...

Just went through the same thing. My little guy is pretty regular (every morning). Kept him naked from the waist down all morning and would not put him in undies or a pull up. I told him that if he had to poop he had to do it on the potty even though he kept asking my for his "pants". He finally did it on the potty and has never gone back.
Good luck!

Hi A.

Boy we sound alike. I also have a 3 year old and I am prego with my second due in April. I just potty trainde my son and it took about a month for me to get him poop trained. I also was getting frustrated as well unitl I tried a sticker chart. I went to the store and let him pick out so stickers that he liked. and I made a chart I stared out by if he pooped 3 days in a row (getting a sticker for ever time he pooped) and taking one a way every time he poops in his pull up or underwear. This happend twice he fliped we upset the first time and totaly fliped out. and he has not had an accident since. Also with the stickers have rewards like for example I told my son that if he got 3 stickers in a row we will go to Mcdolads and get a happy meal and he can play in the play ground. then I went 3 more stickers we went to the park. 3 more stickers we play a game, or he helps me with dinner or what ever you think he would love doing. This realy worked for me. Also a few tips that my aunt told me, I was putting my son in Diapers a night also and she said that this is confusing him he has that protection at night but during the day he has no protection for a child that is potty trainning she said that they know that they can go in one but its not ok to go in there diaper. (if that makes any sence she explained it to me so much better) any way she also told me to Put the pull ups on at night and to wake him up one or two times during the night and make him try to go. I sis this for 4 nights and now he gets up and wake me up to tell me that he has to go potty. I have in big boy underwear during the day (except for when I have to go to the store or somewhere during the day then I put a pull up on him) and pull ups at night. This whole system has seem to work for me So if you try it I hope that it works for you. Have a good day.

A. McKay

Hi A.,

I can relate. My daughter was like this also. She seemed to have a fear of having a BM on the toilet. She was potty trained at a young age. But even by four she was putting on a pullup to go 'poop'. Since she was managing this all her self I was really frustrated. It was obviously not a matter of self control, or understanding. She just 'couldn't' or wouldn't go on the toilet. I decided not to make an issue of it. I figured it would pass. I looked for opportunities to encourage her to change. One finally presented itself when she was four. She wanted to participate in the church AWANA group. But they only took kids who were potty trained completely. So if she really wanted to go to AWANA, she had to use the toilet. It worked. The first time she went was pretty stressful for her, but it all worked out okay. BTW, while I didn't make a huge deal out of it. I did gently encourage her occasionally to use the toilet for her poop. that included reading to her while she sat on the potty, letting her see me use the potty. That sort of thing. She is 7 now. She has been fine ever since.
Hope that helps. Take care,
P.

This may sound wierd and icky but he might like how it feels. You will have to keep up with him, like they say, you can lead a horse to water...........

Hi A.,
My (then 3 year old) son was wearing undies 24-7 except when he needed to have a BM. He would then ask for a diaper to do his business. I would put him on the toilet to at least try while I went to retrieve a diaper. He always had a stool for his feet and an insert in the toilet. Well, when we went on vacation, he had neither the stool or the insert so while he was waiting for me to get the diaper, he was holding himself up with his hands, but his bottom was lowered into the toilet and gravity took it's course and a little bit came out. Well, of course we made a big deal out of and danced and sang. When we returned home, he tried it again without the insert and sure enough with his bottom lowered it made it much easier and he was successful. When he went in a diaper he always squatted and I think the insert prevented that position so it was not natural for him. No insert really made the difference. We were also almost out of diapers and told him we were not buying any more! Stars, stickers, rewards, didn't work. And, lastly, remember that boys mature later than girls and he will go one day!!
Good luck,
J.

I know exactly what you are going through! My daughter(2yrs) is potty trained now and poop was the hardest to train her on. I finally gave up and told her one day, look at these panties... they are very pretty and mommy has NO MORE no more clean pants no clean panties no clean socks... nothing so we have to keep these clean and dry... and well since then she has been fine. Although I do take a pair of panties, pants and sock everywhere I go just in case! So thats and idea. If you keep going back and forth he will get confused. good luck! =)

My daughter pretty much potty-trained herself but was a little shy about pooping on the potty until her first success!

A couple times we put the poop from the diaper into the potty. That was exciting.

For 2 or 3 days I watched her and once I saw that look I, for lack of a better term, let her get it started. I would then rush her to the potty and she'd poop.

That was it. We did M&Ms for pooping on the potty.

Hi,

This is totally normal. Many kids have "poop phobias"--boys and girls. If he asks for a diaper or pull-up to poop--just give it to him. Eventually he'll just go on the toilet--and it won't take as long as you think.

Our son would wait to poop until "quiet time" when he was wearing his pull-up...then one day, he had to poop in the morning--he got all red in the face and my husband and I just took him into the bathroom and camped in there with him because we could tell that he had to go so badly he couldn't keep it in. He cried, but we sang songs and encouraged him and he did it! We took him for ice cream and he began to poop on the potty after that (we had to watch for the signs for a while and then take him to the potty and sit with him there).

Don't push this too hard, though, because you can make your kid constipated and then pooping will really be a problem because it will hurt!

You can try feeding your son some high-fiber foods, too, and try to catch him in the act while being very encouraging.

:-) D.
P.S. I bought "potty toppers" for public toilets--this really, really helped our toileting fears when we went out. Kandoo wipes are fabulous, too.