Why So Few Questions?

I think it's because too many people answering are highly judgmental.

None of us are perfect. But if we're asking a question, we're already admitting that what we're doing isn't working and we need help. Also, some people really read into the question (or don't actually read it at all), and will criticize based on assumptions. How many times do we read in the SWH "I never said A, I said B. Why are you assuming A?"

I think if more posters would back off a little and try to be supportive and not so judgmental, we might see more people willing to ask a question.

ETA - Some people might "tell it like it is." But I've seen many, many responses that jump down the posters throat and criticize them for things they didn't even say (assumptions). Too many people type before they think.

First time posters are usually treated like trolls. I wouldn't post again.

Also, you do have to have some thick skin to ask questions. Responses aren't always nice. Many of us tell it like it is, and a lot of people don't like the truth.

ETA: oh ya, and many posters don't know how to read and they make lots of faulty assumptions that just make the matter worse. So you really do need thick skin to deal with all the faulty judgement.

I've been on here since it began as Mamasource. It's not b/c of the summer, this board used to be busy year round and even more so in the summer.

But I've noticed the same thing too. I've also noticed the type of questions that aren't being asked. The questions with sincere need for help have decreased. Mamapedia has changed over the years. It has evolved, as all things do in life. It used to have few tight knit groups of women that followed each other, along with so many that were consistent contributors. It was obvious many of the women had formed friendships outside of Mamapedia. Of course as time went by, more women have joined and the intimacy was somewhat lost. Then men started joining the group, which I have no issue with, but some women did not want to share intimate secrets with men on the board (I have to admit, I had a question I wanted to ask once, but it was too private and I did not want a man's opinion or a even man reading it). As well, the trolls multiplied and has now become weekend entertainment. The Facebook issue contributes to it too.

The board was very open and honest at one point, women were really helping each other. However, for one reason or another, many responses have become snarky lately, as well, some questions have too. Because of all of that, I feel more superficial questions are being asked b/c of the fear of being attacked. I have seen some very genuine questions asked and they had received 1 or 2 viscous responses, not negative, viscous. Even if it is only 1 or 2 mean responses, many just don't want to open themselves up to that.

I enjoy the site but I visit it less and less due to many of the reasons I stated above.

I used to post questions & it seemed like most of the responses were helpful and polite. But then I started getting some responses that were rude and or judgemental or offensive. I haven't posted any questions in a long time but do like to check this site for ideas/help etc. via other people's questions.

Seems the same to me. But when first-time posters are treated like trolls, it leaves only the old regulars, waiting to answer.

Last I checked, Mamapedia was supposed to be a question-answer site. Now it's expected to be more like a support group where everyone massages one another's egos, no matter how ridiculous they might be.

I visit a lot less because I find that the facebook group that was formed is far more fun. There's no concern about offending anyone with honesty (because those offended by honesty aren't members).

There are two types of people who ask questions: Those who don't want anyone to disagree with their choices; they're seeking validation. And those who want to weigh all the options and consider all of the answers, even if those answers are hard to hear.

Those seeking validation get pissed if the answers don't validate them. And many of us get sick of answering and then being attacked by the OP and other posters who only post to pat the OP's ego. So yeah...a lot of good members are gravitating elsewhere, where our snarkyness is appreciated. We like to be in groups of women who aren't afraid of or offended by truth.

i think people are just busy. this place definitely runs in cycles!
khairete
S.

I have been wondering the same thing. I don't ask often but do enjoy learning about different perspectives. Hoping it is just a summer lull.

I know we're busier in the summer so perhaps people are just on the go and haven't had the time or energy to check in :)

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

It's summer and moms are busy with the kids (hopefully supervising them enough so the kids are not trolling the internet out of boredom).
Also the knowledge that posts here on this site can be re-posted (sometimes somewhat inaccurately) to the sites sister Facebook page has turned off a bunch of people.
And some of the more prolific question askers are trolls who ask ridiculously inane questions and those end up mostly getting deleted.
Check back after Labor day when school is back in session and things will pick up again.

I, too, have been here since it was mamasource. I ask significantly fewer questions because some of the responses are very snarky and cranky and why would I open myself up to that? I now try to ask very neutral, generic questions that are "safe". I'm also aware that many people look into your past questions and refer to them when they answer your current question and seem to want to provide a free therapy session with themselves as counselor. It used to feel a lot more friendly. Now it feels as if there are alot of cranky moms (or not, as there have been kids and people who seem not to have kids on the site) whose sole goal is to critique. Many of the comments sounds as abrasive as those comments on yahoo for news stories. It's my belief that people respond just to voice a comment (and hear themselves "talk") not because that actually have something meaningful to contribute. Thanks for bringing this up.

J.:

Might not be. There are facebook groups now - that aren't censored - so people may be gravitating there instead of here.

Could be it's summer and people are on vacation, doing stuff outside, etc.

Could be people have lost interest in the site. Who knows! It's the ebb and flow of life!! Roll with it! :)

Like Suz says, cycles...
And summer (and weekends) is notoriously known for TROLLS.
I have little patience for troll play...

Summers seem to be slower for any type of board. More people getting out and enjoying the weather while they can.

It's summer, people are busy. On 4th of July weekend there were only a few questions the whole weekend. When school starts back up there will be more, back to usual.

I think it comes down to moderation, or more precisely, the lack of moderation. I would say for the past month they have left this place on auto pilot. About the only thing I see in the summer that runs like clockwork is the site's advertising money rolling in along with the trolls.

So what do you do, ignore them, report them and they still stay up for a month, point it out. Without moderation a site goes all stupid and most of us just avoid it.

Look at the answers here, that is the end result of self moderation. You basically have two groups, both believing the other gets by with everything, bullies if you will, and use that as an excuse to behave badly, or bully themselves.

I know I wouldn't want to walk down the street during a lawless western showdown.

I don't think Facebook is a competitor to a group like this. I come here for non biased responses and with Facebook I know my "friends" and that's more biased. Plus, sometimes I like the anonymity. I don't want all my acquaintances to know my struggles so they can go blab them to the other moms at school and such.

Mostly I think it's summer but I am sure a few were lost due to feeling attacked.

I post less because of the FB thing.

Partly because MP puts our stuff on Facebook for all the world to see, as we found out a few months ago when they seriously screwed up and hurt a woman whose fiance died. Partly because it's summertime and people are out and about (and kids are home from school.) Summers are usually slower. But people are also still stinging over MP's choice to continue to splash this site all over FB.

I think the site itself isn't posting questions as much...(?)

I have grown older and wiser as a mother. I have been through it all it seems. Even lost a valuable pet who we had for almost 7 years, and the kids had to face the death of a family dog. Sometimes instinct just takes over. If you like to learn, sometimes asking your own questions doesn't hurt.

I agree with you. I was wondering why? Very strange! I truly enjoy the fact that we have someplace to ask a question. I've received a lot of feedback from this wonderful site :)

Time will tell?!
;)