Why Are They Judging on Location?

D.:

I'm not getting the whole story here - all I can say is "something stinks in Denmark"

You need to fight for your son. You need to have your lawyer fight for you too. I realize he's pro bono - but really - he should be doing better than this...

I wish I knew the whole story and both sides....it's ODD that a judge gives the father custody when the mother has been the primary care giver for the child's whole life..

You need to have the court set a visitation schedule so that your husband CANNOT fight it.

I wish you luck.

I swear I know I sound frustrated with your post, sorry about that, but I am.

It sounds like you both filed in two different courts. Normally you file in the same court and that is how all orders get linked together. Your lawyer knew he filed first, he should have found out what court he filed in and filed your motion in the same court.

This is not about location it is about what is best for the child. If I had moved out of St Louis county, two hours away, and then filed damn straight I would have had to move back. I have a very good attorney and even he could not make magic like that. You cannot move a child like that, the court does not like it.

So far as full custody the court never give full custody anymore unless one parent is just a worthless piece of poop or one parent gives their right to joint away. You should end up with joint physical and joint legal. Unless you insist on moving out of the area, with the way things are going you could lose custody over that.

Cheryl brought up another good point, your attorney should have had a visitation schedule drawn up to present to the court. Your visitation times should have been set by the court. Your lawyer is doing a poor job, I don't know if it is because you are tying his hands or he is just not worth the paper his license is drawn on.

I'm sorry but I think you went about everything the wrong way. You up and moved 2 hours away without notice, you aren't working, the judge looks at what's in the best interest not what's fair for the parents. Your ex has a steady income, a house that your child has lived in and used to, close to the school he as gone to. I think it would be in your best interest to use this temporary custody time to get on your own two feet, find a job, your own place closer to your old town or in it (your ex can't mess with you if you don't let him)

Ask for a child letigator, I think that is what it is called. It is a lawyer who is not your lawyer or your ex's lawyer but one who is all about the child and his best interest. Make sure you are working and you can afford your own place so they can't use that against you. Good luck with it all.

I agree that you should have tried to stay in the home and gathered more evidence and recordings as he was acting out, it would have been worth the pain and drama in the long run (speaking from experience). I believe the judge would have asked him to leave the home if you could have proved all of his toxic behavior. Not sure what you should do at this point, I think I would move back into the home and tape him yelling and acting a fool. I would have my mind set that he can not get into my head because I would not believe ANY advice or support that he tries to give me but I wouldn't let him know that, I would communicate with him cordially as if i am believing what he says and when I get to court let it out, pictures, tape recorder, emails and everthing! He is playing to win and you should start. Ask yourself if you get full custody would you be fair to him? I BET YOU WOULD! so you can handle full custody but if he gets it would he be fair to you? Once again I heard a judge while in court kick a parent out of the HOME because the child had to live there with the other parent and the judge said the home is for the child I am not going to uproot the child because the parents decided to divorce!