Whining - San Lorenzo,PR

Normal is different from acceptable.

It is not acceptable to have a tantrum. You need to help your child stop this behavior now.

If he throws a tantrum at home, step over him and ignore him. Or you can tell him to go to his room till he is finished, or carry him to his room and tell him he can come out after he is finished. Use a voice that he can hear, but that he will have to quiet down a bit to hear.

Once he calms down, ask him what was wrong and NOT to use a whining voice. Or if you think you know what set him off, ask him, Were your frustrated because.....? You seemed angry because....

If you see a fit coming on, turn to him and ask, "what are you feeling?" Try to get him to TELL you the emotion.. Ask him if he needs to go to his room for a minute, or if he needs a big hug ask him to take a big breath and blow out slowly.. (pick only 1)

If this happens in public carry him to the car and leave EVERY time. Do not speak to him till he calms down. Tell him you will not take him places if he cannot use his words instead of his crying, whining or fit throwing.

I am sending you strength.

I agree with Laurie. Also look into 1-2-3 Magic. It is a book, maybe a video now on child discipline.
5 year olds whine because it has gotten them results before.
Good luck with him.

I agree with Laurie and Margie. Also check out (ha ha, you have options!) www.oneweekparentingmiracle.com. It is the website for a program I have found extremely helpful for disciplining my kids in a loving but firm way. I think the best thing is to pick the disciplining method that feels right to you and stick with it. Good luck!

Your son needs help learning healthy ways to deal with his frustrations, which are many in young children. Once a child is old enough to communicate, I strongly recommend the wise and practical book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk." Read some of the book here: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081...#

I agree with Laurie (the first poster) with the exception of leaving when you are out in public. First of all, it's just not realistic to leave every single place you are just because he is melting down. Second, if you do that, he will purposely melt down any time he WANTS to leave somewhere (like the grocery store or doctor's office) if he figures out that's what you do when he acts that way. I don't ignore tantrums, I remove them from their audience. At home, the child goes to his/her room and may come out at any time as long as he/she has calmed down. In public, I pull the child aside so he/she can calm down. I have a 10 year old drama queen daughter and when she was melting down before school the other day, I told her I was going to wait in the car for her. By the time she got to the car, she was suddenly fine because I removed her audience (me) and there was no point in melting down all alone in the house. As for whining, "I can't understand what you're saying. Please stop whining and talk like a big boy so I can uunderstand you." and really act like you have no idea what he's saying, like he is speaking a completely different language.

True tantrums should really be over about 3.5 to 4. Crying is normal at any age and should be allowed but ignored for the most extent. Value the feeelings, mirror what he's feeling and then he needs to move on. If he can't then maybe a self regulation problem exists.

Hi,
We have gotten the most workable answers from YokaReeder.com
Best,k