When Would You Open Gifts?

I went to a party at venue and will do the same for my son. They let the kids play for a little bit then had them eat. The birthday child got their food first then everyone else. As soon as the birthday child was done eating, including cake, the venue had her start opening gifts. This worked out well as it gave some of the kids that eat slower a chance to finish eating and not miss out on the play time. By the time all the presents were opened, everyone was ready to play again.

Go ahead and open them at home. It can be overstimulating to open all those presents at once, and often time other kids try to take the toys and play with them. If you open them at home, you can do it at your leisure, and it could even be a week long process. To make your MIL happy, make sure to send thank you notes to everyone.

I think it is important to open gifts in front of the giver, for a number of reasons. (1) It allows the recipient to immediately thank the giver: children (and adults) need to remember the importance of good manners and appreciation. (2) It allows the giver the thrill of seeing the recipient's joy in receiving the gift: another important thing we all need to remember is the Joy of Giving. And (3) it satisfies the curiosity of all the other kids (and adults): we all get a kick out of seeing what the other person got.

I would suggest handling your concerns (for allowing more play time etc) like this: right after the cake (clean up the plates first), announce that your son is about to open his presents, and ask if anyone wants to come and watch. The kids that are interested will crowd around, and the ones that would rather go play will do so. Probably most will come to watch, and then maybe one or two might get bored and want to leave: keeping it optional is the key, I think -- if a kid wants to go play, they ought to be allowed to. Then when the presents are all opened let the kids go play until it's time to go.

By the way, while the kids are off playing you can be gathering up the gifts so that when it's time to go you will be ready!!

And also (this is how I always did with my kids) before opening each gift, look for the tag and read aloud the person's name (or ask who gave it, if there is no tag) so that your son can immediately thank the person, and so that the other kids can know who to be excited with and who to congratulate, and so that the giver can have a moment of feeling VERY special also!!

Most kids go to a birthday party expecting that the time will be spent mostly eating cake and opening presents, and perhaps playing some games. They will all have more fun if you include everyone in the present-opening.

Hi J.,

I agree with your mother-in-law. The kids want to see your son open the gift they picked out just for him. And the party IS for your son...Even if the kids were indifferent to it, I'm sure the parents would notice.

You don't have to draw it out too long, just long enough for them to be acknowledged....

Regards,

M.

Last year we had our boys birthday party at a kiddie pool near where we used to live we had 2 hours for fun, food, and gifts. My brother, my mom and a couple of other people thought it would be rude to open the presents at home like I thought I would do to save time. So we did everything in the 2 hours and some of the kids kept playing while we opened presents but for the most part everyone watched as we opened the presents and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Everyone had a really good time and that's all the mattered to me!

Depending on the age, let your child decide. My step daughter is 10 now, and the past 8 years, I have let her decide and she has always wanted too. Her friends choose if they want to sit and watch or continue to play. I would not make them do what they want to do. Then that would be rude. As for my son that turned 1, we had the party at my house, and I had that same question. We ended up letting him open one present and then he was so happy he wanted to keep opening them. He had a blast, and everyone else that was there watching did too. Good luck!

I have been to parties where the birthday girl/boy didn't open their presents and my child always left disappointed that she didn't get to see what the person received or if they liked her present to them. At my daughter's parties, when she opens her presents, that seems to be when the kids had so much fun looking at all the new toys and telling their parents what they want too!!

I do not think that is rude at all!! I just had my twin girls 11th birthday party...all the girls were so busy bowling and playing video games that I decided to do just that...open gifts at home.....everyone was fine with it...it was great to have them take their time opening the gifts at home and keeping up with which one got what from whom..:)

I am thinking I will have the twins write some short thank you notes since they are old enough now...I would like to teach them to do that anyway!

A little about me.....

I am mother to wonderful 11 year old twin girls....and I work full time in the adoption field....

If your child wants to open presents there, maybe while everyone else is sitting to eat the presents can be opened.

Have fun :)

I would try to schedule the party longer so you can open presents at the party. Depending on the childs age it might not matter. A younger child wont care but an older child might want to see his friend open up his gift and see what other presents he got. It is nice to see the child open up your present and see if they like it. I would definately try to have the party longer at the location you choose.

I think you should open gifts at home. I believe it is hard on the birthday child to be excited about his gifts when he wants to play with his friends.
In our family we open gifts at home, so that we can all enjoy them and I know who gave what (for thank yous). Plus, I don't want to be embarassed if my chid says "EWWW I don't like that" or "We already have one of these." I know they need to learn not to do that, but I would rather teach it in my home than in front of the gift giver.
Hope this helps.
L.

I am not going to hit the rude/not rude issue here, because, I personally think it is up to you how you want to do it. I am actually going to tackle this in a different way.

I say open them there because, though you only have the party booked for 1.5 hours, the kids can play long after the party. Noone is going to kick them out at the end of your 1.5 hrs. Their parents may have to find other tables, but they can still let their kids continue to play. The venue is still making money on them staying longer anyway, so they use parties and a free advertisng for the kids. Also, some parents may not have known where this place is b4 your party and now, they are more likely to come back.... Everything should be fine. When it comes down to it...ask your son...he may want to wait or he may want to open them there. It's his party, so he should have the final say-so.

Oh, one more bonus about opening them there...they will fit better in the car on they way home if you can dispose of the packaging at the venue.

Hope all works out well for you!!

I have a friend who has her kids open gifts from each kid as they get to the party. That way, the birthday boy/girl knows exactly who gave him what, and the giver gets to see the kid open it without any other distractions (well, except the fact that all the other kids are playing, and off while he's there, opening presents...but, who doesn't like opening presents!?!). I have not tried this, since I'm such a traditionalist, but I think in your situation, it might be good!

I would open the gifts where you have the party. My girls pick gifts for their friends, and are always disappointed when the birthday child doesn't open the gift. There is always enough time to play, and it calms the kids down to go home after cake.

Open open open - everyone wants to see your child's reaction to seeing what they got for the birthday. bring large trash bags to put the toys and cards in and one for the trash. Take both bags home so you can go through the trash one before throwing out, just in case something got in the wrong bag.
Have fun and take lots and lots of pictures
T.