Not Opening Gifts at Party - Spring,TX

Actually, I tend to think the opposite. I think it is kind of "rude" to open gifts at a party because I think it puts an emphasis on gifts as opposed to the actual celebration. Plus, it has the potential to make someone feel bad if they can't afford to bring one; that may happen more in this economy. I think it is challenging for the younger one's to sit through it. And, for the older ones, I think it takes them away from the fun they are having.

I think more people started doing it so they didn't have to write thank you notes.

I think it is more important to teach the "birthday child" etiquette by greeting his/her guests personally, assuming they are over 4, and when each child is leaving, to say "thank you for coming to my party." I think it is the perfect time to teach children that they write thank you notes before they play with any toy. Maybe I am too old-fashioned. I think it is the perfect time to teach the guest to greet the birthday child with a "Happy Birthday" and to thank the parents for hosting the party.

Ugh...if its a large party I hope they don't open the presents! Takes too long! My kids get crazy antsy! If it is a smaller party I think its okay...my son just had a birthday party and he had 3 little friends at his party so we opened presents then.

Depending upon WHERE we have the party - we don't open gifts there either.

I don't think it's rude...there are time constraints on space, etc. and most kids would rather play the games, use the facilities (gym NOT the bathroom), instead of waiting around to watch the gifts to be opened.

I think it's rude when there are less than 5 kids at the party and they aren't opened...but when there are 8 or more kids - it takes too long and the kids lose attention, etc.

Depending upon the age of the kids in attendance, it's better that they don't open at the party - you don't lose the card or the tag stating who gave it, the gift cards don't get lost in the trash, it is more practical that way...

It started (in this country amongst the caucasian pop*) right about the same time people started having bday parties at venues AND that 'thank you notes' are coming back into common use. Venues have limited amounts of time. 1 hour to play & 1 hour for food and cake doesn't usually allow time for presents. Some people try, but they usually don't make it through all of them. It started as a practical thing... but the benefits (no tears, no fighting, no lost "from" tags, and no 'crappy/impolite' reactions, no GIMMEgimmeGIMME! tear everything open and move onto "Next!", caught on and caught on FAST.

* In other countries prezzies are handled differently. When in France and parts of Denmark it was fun to see that each present is opened one at a time with the person who gave it on an individual basis (instead of the horde) when they arrived, or pulled off to the side if too many people arrived at the same time. About 10 minutes was spent with each giver so that the gift could be opened and played with and appreciated. In Japan (where I spent half my childhood) gifts are NEVER opened in front of the giver (very very very RUDE). Those 2 are 2 completely opposite ways to handle presents from each other, as well as the american standard.

Of course, ethnic groups in America tend to split... whether they hold onto family tradition (and we're not talking new immigrants, although true there as well, but serious 'family' tradition, that's actually Great Grandad's country's tradition). I know families here in the states that have adopted both the French & the Japanese tradition, having seen it at other people's parties/homes and liking it, even though they're neither French nor Japanese.

NO MATTER WHICH "style" (en masse, individually, in private) EACH tradition is trying to NOT be rude / promote happiness of both the birthday child and their guests. Kinda fun that such radically different approaches have arisen from it!

I don't think it's rude. I can't remember the last time my kids went to a party where the gifts were opened. So many parties these days are held at gymnastics centers, ballet studios, craft studios, etc. and are only 2 hours long. Parents are paying for the use of these facilities and between the party time, lunch (if it's served) and cake, there isn't usually enough time to open presents...which can be pretty time consuming depending on how many children are invited.

I totally get why this is becoming more & more common.

If you pay $300 for a 2 hour party, you don't want 1/2 of that being spent on gift opening. Personally, gift opening is stressful when the kids are younger, and want to play with toys that aren't theirs, it's hard for little kids to sit still for that long, and it's just plain boring to watch a kid open 10 + toys that all look the same.

I also think saving the gift opening is nice because, say, you didn't have a lot of money for a gift, no one will know if you went with a more meager gift. It keeps the weird gift competition that can happen at bay.

I dislike how parties/birthdays are SO centered around material items - moreso than the actual occasion being celebrated. I am trying to get my DD away from that.

It also saves the awkwardness & embarrassment when a kid just straight up doesn't like a gift. Even if they are polite about it, you can still tell when someone doesn't like a gift. I know I'd rather not see someone that.

Someone actually asked Miss Manners about this a few years ago. Her response was basically "You don't have a 'right' to see the recipient open your gift, get over yourself." Of course, being Miss Manners, it came out sounding much better than that lol. I have always remembered that, and I choose to focus more on the giving than how they received it.
And, obviously, she concluded with something like, "wait for the thank you note to see how they liked it." :D

... I have been to parties, in which they do open presents.
This took, (if the party is held at a venue), about over 1 hour, just to open presents. Meanwhile, the kids got antsy, started to get restless and/or walked away. Each present opened, there is a photo that is taken, the child/parent saying thank you and the Mom writing down what each child gave... so that thank-you cards can be written later.

Meanwhile, the timing of the party, has to take into consideration, its time frame, the 'opening presents' time. And if most parties are say 2-3 hours, and held at a venue, then this means that the opening presents time, takes away from the lunch/meal and playing/games/entertainment and Birthday cake serving & eating time, at the venue, that the kids and guests can do.

Thus, most parties we have attended, do not open presents. It is not a question of being 'rude' or not. It is practicality.
ALSO, for some, when presents are opened at a party, and it is not all bells and whistles like other gifts, a child/parent, can feel awkward. Because, other kids and the spectators, do make comments and 'ooh or aahh" at the gifts given. The Birthday child as well, if they are not real adept at social presentation, can via their facial expression... either look happy or unimpressed, with any gift given. Especially young children. They cannot control their facial expressions real great. Not like an adult.

To me, it is not rude, to not open presents at a party.
Some families, just do it at home.

I hate opening gifts at the party.
We've seen parties where they open gifts and we'll never do it.
It turns into a circus.
Nine times out of ten toys/gifts are broken and pieces lost before the party is over.

I don't think it's rude to NOT open presents at a party. I think it's great for the other kids at the party. If the birthday kid doesn't open presents, the other kids don't get bored watching and waiting, any kid who doesn't bring a present doesn't feel embarrassed that they didn't bring one, plus, you don't have to deal with other kids at the party trying to open the birthday kid's presents because they're bored and want to play with this toy or that.

My kids typically open presents as people arrive and say thank you right then and there. If too many people arrive at once, then they open that person's presents afterward. Thank you cards are sent within one week of the party.

I do special events and ask parents if they are going to open presents during the party.

If they say yes, we try to calculate the amount of time for each gift. If there are 12 gifts 2 to 3 minutes(open gift) hold it up and thank the person, I write down name and gift for thank yous.) each, that is 30 to 45 minutes. If the party is only 2 hours.. and people are late arriving.. You only have an hour for the kids to play, do an activity and eat.. If they are at a location.. it can take even longer to get the gifts opened, the food served and get the kids gathered all together in the party area.

What I suggest is to let the children play with each other for as long as possible. They are so excited to all see each other and be together outside of their regular school or sports, why stop that fun? Now if the party is not going that great.. then gift opening is a good filler. It also puts a stop to the party. It is a sign the party has ended.

I do not think it is rude. I think it is an option.. If you like to have your child open gifts.. go for it. But do not judge others that decide that they would rather let the kids play when they are getting along and having a blast.

I would consider that rude........its not a wedding! I will forever open gifts at a party, and set aside time for my kids too as well, its a sign that its about time to leave.

If ever you are tired of entertaining, open all your gifts..then start cleaning.lol

I agree that when the kids are younger it's hard to do. My daughter went to several parties when she was younger where they did not open gifts at the party because the little kids couldn't sit still long enough and they kept grabbing at the gifts and trying to open them and play with them.

Now that my daughter is older she definitely opens gifts. She also only invites maybe 8 kids to her party.

Some of the moms did a wonderful thing, they would include a picture of their child and the gift in the thank-you card. That way you didn't get to see them open the gift at the party, but you got a nice picture in the thank-you card that made you feel appreciated. So I think that's a wonderful alternative!

I think it's hectic for the parents when gifts are opened at the party, especially for moms like me that want to write down who gave what for a thank you note later. That being said...I would never not have my child open her gifts. The guests LOVE seeing their present opened. We attended a party once when the birthday child didn't open the gifts and my daughter was SO disappointed.

I don't think it is rude. Rather I do not like the idea of opening gifts during the party. first let kids have fun at the party.. second.. I do not want to give all the gifts on the same day to my kid. third all guest kids are from different background, some kids gifts are more expensive than other kids gift, do not want ego or comparison attitude in my party.

I guess it started about 15-20 years ago, when venue parties became more popular. When you have a Chuck E Cheese, Build a Bear or gymanstics party and you only get an hour and a half at the venue, there is not really time to open presents. A lot of parents also decided not to open presents at home parties. They felt it was too chaotic what with the guests rushing up to the birthday kid/grabbing at the gifts, made for bad feelings for the guests who were not getting gifts, etc. When my kids had a party at home, they always opened the gifts. I think it teaches about manners, being gracious, and it's good for the guests to learn about giving and about it being someone else's day. I can't say that it is rude not to open the gifts (but it is rude not to give a thank you if there was no in-person gift opening and thanking). To cut down on the chaos, I had a method. I'd set up two chairs, the birthday kid would sit in one and I'd hand each gift to the giver, they would get to hand the gift to the bday boy/girl and sit next to him/her while their gift was opened. I would take a picture and that would go into the thank you card for each person.

totally rude! No excuses....have an activity going for the guests to keep them occupied. Or do like with showers....offer prizes as the gifts are opened! There's ways around this issue.....

We haven't done it when we have limited time and too many gifts to open. It makes life easier to do it at home, but we tell people ahead of time that we may not have time to do it. When my boys share a party, there is normally about 20 people that come, times two gifts...40 is too many to open. Plus I like to take some and put them away for a rainy day...only because that's too much stuff for little ones. So even though it may seem rude, it is the way parties are going now. As your kid(s) get older, you'll find yourself doing it too.

I think the kids love to see the reaction their gift gets, so we always open at the party. I think some are afraid that a child who does not bring a gift might feel left out or something, but my kids would not even notice if one kid did not bring a toy.

I've read about this before on here. I dont get it either. That's what the party is about isnt it? You have cake and then you open presents. It's always a chaotic fun time. Now I guess some moms dont like to open the gifts because it gets the kids are riled up and stuff.... "HELLO, it's a party".
I think birthday parties have become overly ridiculous. People need to go back to the simplistic way of doing it. Invite should say "cake and ice cream served at such and such a time....and then presents will be opened right afterward".
Skip all the bbqing and fingerfoods and pizza stuff, just let the kids hang out for an hour, eat cake and open presents. The old way sure takes the pressure off.

I asked that question a few weeks ago.. My son's 5th bday party is on Saturday and we are NOT opening presents... It's too chaotic, it gets boring for the other kids, I don't want anyone feeling bad if my son tosses the gift to the side, its way to time consuming... :0) The kids want to play, not sit there and watch my son open presents for 40 minutes...
PS I do plan to give out thank you cards though~

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Well I guess it depends.
Back when my kids were small (a huge 10 to 12 years ago) there were never more than about 12 gifts to open, usually less, so it was fun and easy.
These days it seems like every kid invites every kid in their class, not to mention family, family friends, former teachers, you name it, so yes, I could see where it has almost turned into a wedding/shower type "too many presents to open now" event (very weird, IMO.)
I personally enjoy watching people opening the gifts that were chosen and wrapped for them (and so do my kids) so yes, I think unless the party is HUGE, it's rude not to :(

I think it's a bday party and opening presents is part of that. We open presents at our party. I certainly don't think it's rude since it's a bday party...and kids like seeing the bday person open their gift. I do understand that people who don't open gifts aren't being rude. There are some good points there, but we still do it and will continue to do so.

Well my children's idea of fun at the party is the gift opening too. After playtime, there is cake and then present opening which is asked about 50 times before it happens "Is it time to open presents yet"? I have always witnessed kids very excited to watch the gifts being opened. We have someone appointed to write down who gives what, as each present is opened, and someone in charge of picking up paper and putting the gifts in bags ready to take home. My husband or I take picture. I guess if you have an insane amount of people at your party you would not have time, but it seems to go pretty fast for us. We invite 10-15 guests.

I have one friend who's DS does not open gifts at the party. It's kind of a letdown not to see our gift opened as I spent a lot of time picking it out. She invites his whole class, all of her friends kids, her family and extended family and kids. There are many many many gifts so I am sure there is not enough time - sucks!

I agree with you! I have been to so many parties that save the opening of presents for later. it bugs me and I wish people didn't do it!

M

I try to avoid that problem all together and on the invites I put "please not gifts".

If someone does still bring a gift, as soon as the guest arrives with the gift we take them and the child into another room and open it and then put the gift up until the party is over.

I try to keep the party about celebrating the birthday with friends and family and fun with games, cake and ice cream and try to stay away from putting a monetary value on it from others.

It's more and more common these days and i did the same at my little guy's 2nd birthday this past April. My granddaughter didn't open hers at her 6th birthday last November...but sent a lovely handmade "thank you" card.

I personally am fried by the time of the party, having been baking cakes or cupcakes, cooking the foods I'll be serving, wrapping my own gifts on top of having fibromyalgia...plus we were at a small amusement park and all the kids wanted was the Elmo cupcakes and to go into the park, so he opened them at home. No one expressed that I was rude, and if they had i would have smiled and told them, "There aren't any hard and fast rules regarding birthday parties, not that I've seen. Each and every parent is free to orchestrate their child's party to their liking. After all, how boring if they were all the same!" ; )

For me it is a practical thing, especially since my kids are young. Their parties usually start at 11, so that we can play and have lunch and cake, and then it's done by 2. That is their nap/quiet time. Then we open gifts together as a family after their nap/quiet time is done. It just takes too long logistically if we try to do it during the party itself. Plus, the first time we had a childs birthday party, two gifts that were opened wound up missing, as did an outfit. It's just not something i wanted to mess with again.