What to Do When Child Is Hurt at Daycare?

16 month olds dont have the ability to work it out on their own!! she should have stepped in! kids that age cannot express what they want and so use scratching, kicking, pulling etc to get what they want. sounds like she scratched her several time before it was over or the lady intervened. my daughter has been bit, hit etc at daycare becasue they are fighting over a toy...that is normal, but kids this age do not have the reasoning skills to share or compromise and she should have stepped in. Now what to do about it is hard...i would just have a heart to heart with the provider and just say you wish she would have intervened quicker. You just have to get it off your chest! If she is apologetic and says she will watch closer next time, then you are probably fine... most of the time, caretakers will appreciate you talking one on one with them as they love your child too. if you have weird feelings about it, then find a new place for your baby.

I don't think you need to be worried about your provider- she admitted she made a mistake. And she was honest with you about letting them work it out. The fact that she feels so bad about it, coupled with the fact that she told the truth, speaks very highly of her. If this is the first time, I would just watch the situation. If it happens again, just be honest with your provider and tell her you have some concerns. You won't hurt her feelings by being honest. Actually, if you keep it bottled up you might begin to resent her and the situation. Always bring any concerns to your providers attention! Good luck with everything!

After reading your post, I find it disturbing you are going to let this one go. From reading previous posts, and your response, all I can think of is that it really looked like the provider was absent and is trying to cover up what happend. If your quote is right (she didn't intervene at first ..no one was crying) might be an admission she wasn't there. If you "see" deep scratches being made, you're going to intervene...as a provider you've got to worry about liability. She said she "didn't hear" which implies she probably wasn't in the room.

And from a practical standpoint, if you dropped your car off with the valet and returned to find it scratched and damaged, wouldn't you call your insurance company to have it examined and repaired? Wouldn't call the authorities to have a police report taken? And most importantly wouldn't you stop parking there altogehter? Or would you keep parking there and accept the valet's excuse of "I don't know what happend," or "I saw someone by the car scratching it, but I didn't want to intervene?"

Unfortunately we're not talking about a car and valet, but a child and a daycare provider. I'd personally being looking for a new place.

And as for the argument that she has a good record with the state, if you ever take the time to check reports filed with the state, you'll see hundreds of daycares still in operation but with complaints filed. And hundreds more that shouldn't be in operation go unreported because people let "small" or "one time" incidents slide.

Good luck!

I agree -- issues like that in daycare are very normal and there is no need to worry about it. However, if it bothers you that the daycare provider didn't step in sooner, then it would be best to talk to her about it. There is nothing wrong with voicing your concern about the situation. Just remember -- kids are gonna fight and have confrontations. That is all a part of learning to socialize.

Yeah speak what you feel to the provider and say I know its over but I would have felt better if you would have stepped in.
Then understand there will be more "owees" because kids are kids. I felt SO bad once because it was my kid that shoved another one over play keys and the kid went backwards down the stairs.
Trust your provider and keep the communication open. Remember it goes both ways you would want her to tell you how she feels, right? and teach your child "use your words" and hopefully the provider encourages this saying, so all kids can learn to try talk it out. If not when the provider hears a child say it it alerts them to somethings up.

I do think the provider has a responsiblity to keep an eye on this- I understand that she wants to have kids learn to work it out however if she kept an eye on this situation the scratched would not have been so deep- Kids at this age need a lot of redirection as they are learning by example. I would let this one do. I believe the other child should have got a time out and that parent should have been notified. This only reinforces to the other child that this behavior is not acceptable. If this happens again I would have talk with your provider. It's not acceptable to have your child
with deep scratches which could be permenantly scare.

First of all, you are RIGHT to be concerned. If your day care provider had really been paying attention then she would have seen that your daughter was in the process of being injured.
I would talk honestly with your provider. You could say that if there is a scuffle over toys that she should be right there ready to intervene. Her job is to prevent injuries.
Scratches from humans can be very dangerous as germs collect under fingernails. I can only hope that your daycare provider took care to properly clean the scratches to your daughters face.
I don't see a need to change providers at all- but, calmly and respectfully explain what your concerns and expectations are. Accidents happen but you should be allowed to voice your concerns and be reassured by your provider that she is commited to safety in her day care.

I agree, she should have stopped it - but if this is the first time, I think I would give her the benefit of the doubt.

My daughter came home with pinch marks and bruises on the back of her leg recently. I asked her how they happened and she said that an older child was pinching her. I asked her multiple times over the course of the evening and the story was always the same. (obviously your daughter is too young to do this with.) I asked her if she told the provider and she said no - so I said if it ever happens again, to tell the girl to stop and that it hurts. Then I told her she needs to tell our provider. I didn't say anything to the provider - kids will be kids and I know her eyes can't be on all of the kids at the same time - but if I notice it or something similar again, I will bring it up with my provider.

Things like this do happen at daycare. I think though 16 months isn't old enough to completely work things out, it can be old enough to express themselves. If not by words, by other noises. My guess is that if the provider had noticed your little one was getting scratched, she would have interviened (sp) sooner.

My provider is constantly letting the children "work it out", she is primarily infant and toddler so all the children have been there from infancy. They are always fighting about some toy at some point or another. I can see where your provider is coming from. But as your child was being scratched, I can also see your worry.

In this case, since this seems to be the first incident like this, I would let it go. Just watch and make sure your little one isn't getting scratched up on a regular basis. If she is, there may be further cause for concern.

If you think this is fun...wait until the biting stage.!

I disagree that you should let this go. Your daughter is 16 months old!! She is still a baby and for an adult to stand there and watch a 2 1/2 year old scratch her up is absurd. A 2 1/2 year old cannot "work conflicts out" on their own, let alone when the other child involved is so young. It does not matter that the provider is licensed and takes classes, she still may be incompetent as a child care provider. I would be searching elsewhere if I were in your shoes.

You never know what goes on at those day cares and what to believe. What I would do is do a search through Health and Human Services and search the day care. They have a whole section for day cares and problems. If you can not find your day care let them know and they can get you the information. It kind of makes me wonder why the lady did not pull the kid off of your child. If the daycare does not feel right to you than pull your child out. You need to go with your gut! Hope you can get if figured out. Your poor little baby.

C.

I have a 4 year old and a 19 month old of my own. Whenever I see the older one going for a toy I remind him that she is playing with it and he needs to wait his turn. At 19 months old she is too young to work things out between herself and a 4 year old. At daycare she is the youngest one there. Sure I've picked the kids up and had both had scratches or bruises. My daycare provider can't watch them all the time but she does tell me right away via e-mail. Such as so and so pushed your kid and she has a bruise and that kid got a time-out. She tells me before I pick the kids up. What I think you should do is explain to her that you would like her to tell you right away and that if she can please talk to the older kids about not doing something like that. You didn't say how old the other little girl is. Also tell her that you know she can't constantly watch them but when she sees a conflict where one child might get hurt she needs to intervene before hand.