My son met this new kid this year. He's been over to our house a few times and my son has been over there once. He is one of six kids. His Mom is a sngle Mom so I'm sure she doesn't have a lot of money. I can tell when the kid is here that he wants to ask for stuff but he doesn't (I'm sure he's been taught better). We give him food if he happens to be here at dinner time. We've even given him my son's old football cleats. We pretty much give him whatever we think he might want when he's here (snacks/drinks).
Anyway, we were told when we picked our son up from after school care that the teacher wanted to see us. We went to the room and she told us that the shirt my son had on came up missing. He had a long sleeve shirt under and a short sleeve shirt and got hot durng gym so he took off the long sleeve shirt. She didn't notice until the end of the day and when she asked my son about it, he said he thought this kid was wearing his shirt. He had his neck covered up so my son couldn't see it and then left for the day.
My question is, should I say something to the Mom or just let it go? The shirt only cost $10, so that doesn't really matter. But should it be the fact of that matter that this kid should learn that he can't take something that doesn't belong to him? The school did call the number listed on his forms and got his Grandma who said she would look around for it.
Thanks ladies. I'm thinking I will just let it go for now and watch to see if I see him wearing it. And for those that asked, both boys are 7yrs old. The shirt is not really that big of a deal. I can replace it but I don't want this kid starting at an early age thinking its OK to take things that don't belong to him. I did question my son, because I was thinking maybe he told him he could wear/have it and then thought he was going to get in trouble once the teacher asked him about it but he said he didn't. So, for now, I'm just going to wait and see if it turns up.
I would not bring it up. It could be another kid took it. I'd use a wait and see approach. The shirt may turn up in the lost and found and then the accusation could ruin the trust that boy is developing.
Why was he wearing the shirt? Did he ask your son and your son said he could wear it or borrow it? The school has already told his family so I don't think you need to also do that. Since you said you believe that the boy was taught better than to ask for things, I am sure his famliy will correct him. Also, if no one saw him wearing it, it may have been another kid that took it. You could always put your son's initials on this clothing tags to make sure they can be identified as his, and teach him to keep a close eye on his stuff. If the other boy did steal it, then he needs to learn that it is not ok to do that, and hopefully his family and the teacher can do that.
You say the school called home, so the mom will know about it and handle how whe wants. I would not call as well, b/c you don't want to accuse or come across as making assumptions about her or her kid.
If your kid brings it up again, depending on his age and your interest you could try explaining that it was probably an accident, or you could try explaining that stealing is not okay but sometimes people do it when they really want something, and while you're not sure he did it, maybe we can see if your friend needs some help getting new clothes.
Honestly, I would let this go. I am a bit surprised at all the attention for a $10 shirt. My kids wear uniforms to school and clothes does get mixed up. You say he seems to have been taught manners....why not reach out to him and see if you can get him talking. You could try to talk to the mom, but not about the shirt. Maybe you could help this kid out. It might even be the case that he took it as a way to seek attention and help. You don't mention how old he is, but if he is in after care I am guessing 8 or 9?
He stole your son's shirt. If your son gives something to the child that is different, if the child takes something that is a whole new ballgame. he needs to be taught the difference, in a loving manner.
My kids had a habit if giving at school or when others came to visit. I had to put the squash on that one. THey only gave something that I approved and they only took something that the friend's mother approved.
Maybe get a box of hand-me-downs for the family from others in the school. I'm sure with 6 children she would be grateful.
I think it would be awkward to have this kid at your house from now on and not know if he took your son's shirt.
I would bring it up next time you see him but not in the accusatory manner sort of like giving him a way out of sorts. Saying, maybe, that your son took off his shirt and later saw a similar shirt on the boy so, you think, maybe, the child made a mistake and can he please check at home if he has a shirt and bring it back to you.
Behavior like that should always be addressed otherwise you will start fearing the child and he will know that you let this kind of behavior slide by, so he will be tempted to do it again.
Good luck.
Wow, I thot you were going to say these are high school aged kids. Have you met the mother? So you're sure there really is one? I would tell my son to ask the kid if he "borrowed" the shirt. If he doesn't want to then I would ask the child myself. My son had a kid steal a very expensive game cartridge at about the same age and I was so angry with myself for not getting involved. My son kept saying he would ask and never did. Thank Heavens they weren't friends for long. His parents were totally oblivious! That kid was always a trouble-maker and now I see him driving recklessly around the neighborhood. He's gotten in trouble several times for speeding. Sounds to me like this kid is starting down the same bad path!!! Good luck!
I wouldnt say anything ONLY because the school already called. He stole from you so I would be very careful if he comes back over to the house and watch him closely. He is biting the hand that feeds him, so to speak, and he needs to know it is unacceptable or it won't stop there...what if next time it is a $100 gaming unit.
If you catch him at your house or doing it again then you will need to sit him down and point blank talkt o him...you know Billy we love you like our own and if you NEED something please ask, we will do what we can to help but you cant just take things...etc..
Please don't say anything to him directly. I doubt he wants attention from it, but rather...just something new. His Mom probably doesn't get them much being a single mom and all. Maybe the next time he's over have your son ask you about the shirt and then mention the teacher wanting to talk to you about some info she had on it...or maybe that would freak him out too much. This is a tough one...but, my first thought is not to say anything.
Unless you have proof it's hard to confront and assume....At any rate I would let it go for now and simply keep a watchful eye on him especially when the boy is at your house. He is probably desparate and needs things but that doesn't make stealing right! Also, make sure your son is aware of where he leaves his belongings. It would be wise for him to lock up his things in his locker if he has one.
Basically he stole it, so yeah you should follow up somewhat, maybe you could question him yourself next time he's over.
I'm kind of surprised the teacher didn't handle this herself with the child and his family. unless it's not the first time the kid took something of someone else's?
This happened at school, so let the school handle it. If you start to notice other things "missing", then time to call the house or discourage the friendship.
I agree with let it go and see what happens. It's bound to show up on your neighbor's boy if he has it and it might even be returned. Maybe that boy found it when your son took it off and didn't know who it belonged to, maybe someone else took it and gave it to your neighbor's boy, or maybe that boy thought it was okay to borrow since you give him so much stuff anyway.
I think you should let it go. The school has already stepped in so the mother will know. Are you sure its the friend that took it? My son gets sent home with other peoples stuff all the time and his stuff gets sent to other kids houses. I wash it, put it in his book bag and leave a note for the teacher and tell them its not his.
