What to Do About Cursing

I don't worry about it myself. They are just words, they only have the power we give them. If my boys repeat them I do tell them that they are more adult words and they should try not to use them, but I don't punish them or try to police the language of other adults.

If she repeats something at this age it actually will be very cute and probably get a reaction.

There isn't much you can do. People in this world will cuss, and that much is reality.

What you can do for now is ignore it if she repeats it. She'll only repeat it again if she gets a reaction,so don't give her one.

As she gets older you'll simply have to remind her (possibly often) that those words are not ones that we use.

It's not always easy, but the only alternative is to shelter her from the world. Otherwise she is going to hear them.

I grew up with a daddy who can curse alongside the most seasoned of sailors. I married a man who is likewise gifted with a smutty tongue. I tried many different tactics to try to stop the cursing and eventually gave up. My children did try out curse words. Each time I said, "Nope, you don't get to use that word, it's a grown up word. When you know all the other words in the language, you can choose to curse." My kids didn't try it more than a few times, it just wasn't interesting to them. Now if I let a curse slip out they'll say, "Mama, that's not appropriate, you're around kids," and I say, "Thanks for the reminder."

So, that's what we've done and it's worked pretty well.

We call those "daddy words". Moms and kids don't say them. Sounds crazy, I know. But it works.

You can not control how others talk, you can control the words your child uses.

Mine understand that certain words are for adult's and not okay for younger ones to say. It's never been an issue, sure they have said them, but I don't over react or flip out I just give them a more appropriate word to use and move on.

This does not have to turn into a tension causing issue.

We have always dropped a bomb here or there around our kids and they have never reused the words except in proper context.

I think this is in part that no one is allowed to use words unless they are used properly, which is really hard to do with swear words, but also because when we do drop them they are in proper context.

What I mean is parents that have swear words as a part of their vocabulary, like use them all willy nilly, they are going to get the kids that swear all willy nilly.

Kids learn context from their parents on all words, even swear words. So I guess ask yourself, what context do you use them in....

Yeah, you can't make other people stop cursing. You can start hanging out with people who care.
Do you feel like someone who woke up out of a dream and suddenly instead of enjoying being a rebel and thumbing your nose at stuffy old people, you actually care about the world your child will grow up seeing and hearing? Most of us did that at some point.
It makes you want to hang out with other people who have little ones with big ears.

What your guests say is of little consequence. She might repeat it, but so what. You can then tell her that "we" don't use that word. And she will stop. But if your husband is saying them all the time, too, then obviously saying that "we" don't say that would be a lie. And you don't want to lie to your child.

Your child will learn normative behavior and language from you, at home, at her age. Having a party with people using other words will not cause her to use them as a regular part of speech on a regular basis. Your husband saying them all the time, makes it normal for her.

Ha! Kids dropping the f bomb is adorable. My daughter used to use "sh" instead of just "s" for sit when she was first learning to talk, and I always giggled. My nephew loves trucks but the "tr" always came out as "f". Maybe that's just me.

That being said, we've told our daughter that those are grown up words and she's not to repeat them. The only time she ever did was when her seatbelt wouldn't work and she said "Why won't this f-ing thing work?!" My husband just reminded her that was a grown up word and then told me later that I need to cut back on the fbombs. She's 6 and aside from the accidental cursing when she used to say sit, I can count on one hand the times we've heard her curse and have fingers left over. And that's with me having a mouth like a sailor.

I remember the first time my daughter "swore" in front of her dad and he looked at her and asked where she learned that and she said "from you daddy." Guess who stopped?

Anyhow, if you are hosting the BBQ and it is a kid friendly environment, I think you have every right to remind people that it is a kid friendly environment if the cursing starts/gets out of hand/is in front of kids.

Your husband doesn't need to stop swearing. I mean if he does quit great, but he's an adult and I doubt he will. Kids aren't allowed to do what adults do. Certain words are "bad" and they are for adults.

2 years old is a little young to teach "no" about certain words when they're just learning to talk. But all three of mine understood which words were allowed or not by about age 3. You just explain when they say it, it's a bad word, and enforce discipline after a warning like for any other wrong action if they persist. If you are consistent in all things, it will be another clear easy rule they understand.

I don't swear in front of the kids, my husband tries not to. We have friends who don't even remotely know how to control their speech, and you know what? They don't have to. Sometimes they'll even apologize because it's so impossible for them to not say the f word five times per sentence, and I just say, "It's OK, they know it's not OK for kids." You can't change the world for your child, you just have to teach your child to live in the world. I grew up around bikers and construction workers and it was pretty standard where I lived in the 70's that kids weren't allowed to swear just because their parents did. We knew how to control it and do it way out of ear shot of adults-which is fine imo if no one hears it. Not like today where I hear kids cursing in public all the time. We never would have done that and my kids aren't allowed to either. They hear kids and adults doing it, and they know it's not allowed. Will they do it as they get older? Sure, but at least the habit will be ingrained not to do it at inappropriate times.

I like Mamaduck's answer. Kids like those kinds of rules.

This, too, shall pass. Your kiddo won't stay in the parrot phase forever, and then it won't be an issue. You'll be able to teach her not to repeat certain ugly words.

For now, try setting up a phrase with your husband to warn him when he goes overboard. My extended family used, "Kid Alert," when my nieces were parroting everything they heard. It was light, silly, and not confrontational. But it did draw attention to the fact that there were little ears listening. Most people would start to catch themselves after a few times. Usually, they didn't even realize they were swearing so much.

Have a fun BBQ!

My husband does this too. One Dd repeats him, my older doesnt. Swear jars etc don't help.

Just teach your kids, that it is not nice to use.
They don't have to use it.
They don't have to be copy cats.
To think on their own.
Unfortunately, even in school, even Kindergarteners, use all sorts of language. So then they get corrected by the Teacher or the other kids.
It is also about learning inappropriateness.
I cursed before in front of my kids. My son told me "Mommy, that is a bad word..." And he corrected me. I told him I know it was a mistake I make mistakes and he is right. It is not a nice word. I apologized to him.
And I tell my kids, just because I said that, doesn't make it right, nor that they can say it. And sure, it is conflicting.

One kid I know, who was in 1st grade, tends to talk like his older, siblings. And per what shows they watch, so then he is an audience to those shows, too. Anyway, one day the Mom got a call from his Teacher. Telling her that her son does not speak, as a normal 1st grader does and uses words/language that is.... basically, inappropriate for his age. But which, mirrors whatever TV shows he is watching. He is like a parrot. So well, the Mom was spoken to about it, by the Teacher. She didn't realize, her son was talking this way, AT school. She was embarrassed.

Anyway, not all kids will curse, like their parent. Some kids do know better.
And per age.

I would gently remind your company that your daughter is at the age where she picks up every word so please refrain from swearing.

If its just something they refuse to do, I'd keep her away from the conversation the best I could.

As for your husband it seems as though he is trying his best to curb the swearing. However, a swear jar may also help him.

I also agree with others who've said eventually you can teach your child that swearing is an adult thing and not for children. At 22 months you can't use that excuse so its easier to keep them away from it.

If you don't want your daughter using choice words, just tell her if and when she says one that that's not a word for children to use.
The rules are not the same for adults and children.

I didn't care if my daughter cursed. She learned those words from me, But I insisted that she use them with correct grammar and context, and I taught her that it was okay to use them at home, but that they upset some people (like her grandparents) and she could get in trouble using them at school.

ETA: Profanity is not necessarily an indicator of a limited vocabulary. I have quite a large vocabulary and two degrees and I swear. When I drop an F-bomb, it isn't because I don't know a better word to express my thoughts/feelings, it's because the F-bomb best expresses my thoughts/feelings.

Hi!
My rule when my daughter was little was no cursing at people although situational cursing was ok. This was mainly because I have a bit of a dirty mouth and didn't want to always slip up around her and constantly apologize or be hypocritical. I thought that was a much worse example. I always encouraged her to be aware of her impact on the world around her so I did warn her she had to be mindful of other people who might be more sensitive about cursing (like her grandparents). The one time I had to remind her was when she was 5 and we had waited for over an hour for our bus home. So, it was appropriate but she got that the other people present might not appreciate it. Aside from that one time, we have never had a problem with it. Really, she only ever curses around me and not that often either.

Put out a swear jar.
If anyone swears, they put in $1. The proceeds go to your daughter's college fund.
It won't take long. They will stop.

I don't swear. My kids don't swear for the most part, because they were taught better. I say "for the most part" because they slip every now and then.

Profanity is not a sign of intelligence. Its an indication of someone with a limited vocabulary that is out of control.

When my kids learned that garbage at school for their playmates I was very careful to correct their language at home. If they swore or talked back to their mom, I would give them a teaspoon of hot sauce to hold in their mouth for 60 seconds. Why? We had to burn that trash or garbage so it wouldn't foul their vocabulary. After 60 seconds, they could swallow it or spit it out. Their choice.

As far as not wanting to tell people how to talk or having tensions goes . . . NO REASONABLE person would not want to help you protect your little girl from the cesspool of profanity. Who is more important, your daughter or the others feelings?

Good luck to you and yours.

When my husband did cuss in front of the kids,like I would know.He would start laughing then he says "fu-"I would yell something like "HUNNY"And give him that look that are 3 yr old is in the room.He got the point after my daughter was born(1 month ago lol)and stopped:)