What's Worked for You? 4 Yo Won't Poop on Potty.

I was a little harsh with my daughter. When she asked for a pull up to poop in, I told her no. She didn't get underwear either. She went bare bottom until she pooped on the potty. She hated it and cried, but it worked and she poops in the potty. She still won't go to the bathroom on her own to poop, but she will tell me that she is pooping and then we go to the bathroom because she doesn't want to poop in underwear. Then she got to pick a prize from the prize bag. I went to Target and got some things from the dollar section. I think ultimately you will just have to stop offering the pull up for poop and deal with the fall out. It wasn't fun watching my daughter have a melt down, but it worked and we are moving forward in potty training. It's only been a week and we haven't had any poop accidents. She's 3 for reference.

We kind of....um...."caught him in the act"...then rushed him onto the toilet, then (sorry)....kind of knocked the pattie into the toilet.
Then the fans went WILD!
I can still picture my husband (a large Marine) dancing around singing "He's a Super Duper Pooper" to the tune of "Glory, Glory Hallelujah!"

Hey--worked for us!

Good luck.

(Also you might want to, at age 4, try explaining the logic of food and waste to him and explain how that poo is really just the body's waste after converting his yummy, healthy food into fuel!)

He may not feel secure enough on the toilet to go. Try putting a stool under his feet so he can steady himself, feel more secure and can relax a bit.

My kids were younger, and so physically smaller, but I just caught them in the act, and then MADE them sit on the toilet. Physically held them on the toilet until they went. Once they had pooped in the toilet once, it was no longer an issue - almost like they realized it was not that big a deal after all? I don't know - anyhow, that was what worked for us.

But do you have his "power incentive?" That was our key. Allowing him to poop in his pull-up as he works towards doing it bare-bottomed on the toilet (poop in pull-up on toilet > poop in pull-up with hole in it to let poop fall into toilet > poop on toilet with no pull-up) is a method in the following very helpful and informative site, and the power incentive had my guy literally running to go poop on the potty in a little over a day : ) Hope this helps!

http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Does your son pee on the potty, just not poop? My son was like that. this is what i did. He had a poop spot (behind the couch) and wanted a pull up. i would give him a pull up, but first made him poop in the bathroom instead of behind the couch, then graduated to having him sit and poop on the toilet in a pull up. After he was good about doing that, but still resistent about pooping w/o a pull up, my husband cut a slit in the back of the pullup (my son didn't know about this) and when my son would ask for one right before he needed to go, we would slip on the pull up, he'd sit on the toilet and when he pooped, it fell into the toilet and we would make a big deal about what a good boy he was for pooping in the potty, got a reward, etc. This worked a few times and he was resistent to pooping on the toilet w/o a pull up. Finally we refused to give him a pull up. this was extremely hard for us to do. We held out and my son did not go poop for 3 days! i was ready to give in and give him a pull up that night, but we were out for dinner and my son had an emergency and needed to go to the bathroom and used the restaurant's toilet w/o a pull up. within a hour, he made up for the prior 3 days of not going, all done w/o a pull up. After that, he was good to go.

You should do some research on encopresis. This is a condition that begins with a psychological issue such as fear/anxiety. The child expresses it by controlling how they go poop. Over time though encopresis can turn into a physical condition where the nerves in the colon become damaged and the child actually loses the ability to feel when he/she needs to go to the bathroom. They also lose the ability to push the poop out.

Coercion, forcing, punishment, etc. only aggravate this condition. The negative reinforcement amplifies the fear/anxiety. I went through this with my son from 3-1/2 years of age until 5-1/2 years of age when I finally found a solution. I would suggest you check out this Yahoo message board: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/encopresis_kids/ Even if your son has not developed full-blown encopresis, he is showing signs of developing it. Catching it now will save you years of struggle!

Maybe he doesn't know how.
Also boys are later in toileting at times.

Try, while he has a diaper on, have him sit, on the potty.

But yes, some kids are afraid of pooping. My son used to be scared of pooping in a toilet because he felt is was HIM in the toilet.

Pooping on a toilet, is also done in a different position, than when they just do it in a diaper. Typically while standing up.
It uses different muscles.

Just try, but don't scold him. It will just make a kid more resistant.
But I know, you did not say you scold him.

If he's 4, what does he say? At that age he should be able to tell you if he's fearful of it. Let us know what his reasons are and we would be better prepared to offer some advice!

My three year old did the same thing. She just refused to poop in the potty. She did not give us any reason and refused to talk about it when we brought it up!

She is large for her age and out grew the largest size pullups. So I told her we have 5 pullups left and after that they don't make them in your size anymore... I reminded her every day and when we got to the last one I told her that was it. I still have the last one in the drawer and she went potty.

I also like you offered incentives. GOOD ones... didn't affect her. However I put up a sticker chart just for pooping and she got super excited!

Good Luck and let me know what works for you!!

It took me taking a back seat and letting my husband handle this one. He stayed home with our little one for a few days but on the first day he asked her where she wanted her "little traning potty". She wanted it in her room in front of her tv. He gave her a book and privacy...nothing. The next day he "told" her that her that they would spend the day in our room playing and watching fun videos and such and that this day would be the day that she was going to do it. She did it! I don't know why but I am thinking because it was a "deal" versus a parental obsession that I was making it into. :)
He took a picture of her next to it and sent it off to me and we made a huge to do over it. For the next few days he did the exact same thing and she never went back. A few days in, we retired the training potty and she was on the big potty and we haven't looked back.
My only thought is that it was not overwhelming for her and that it was a calm and "free" day around her and understanding the poop was going to happen. :)

Good luck

Thanks for asking the question, because I have the exact same problem. My son was recently bladder trained in a weekend, after 4 years of age. Poor guy holds his bowels till after daycare or if he is lucky in the morning. I think my guy just can't relax elsewhere, he is just too anxious. He is a bit speech delayed so anxious and relaxed are not part of his vocabulary. But I like gamma rocks suggestion. Also, my daycare provider told me that many boys after 5 that are typical in their development are still having bowel accidents.