Potty Training Question - Alameda,CA

Just wait it out...she will do it when she's ready. The bigger a deal you make out of it, the harder it will be on both of you. She will not graduate college pooping in her pullup.

My son has the same problem but we made the transition 10 days ago, so I'm going to just watch him like a hawk for another week and see if I can encourage him to get used to the idea of pooping in the toilet, the same way he got used to peeing in the toilet. But I read somewhere about slow transitions. First, get her to poop in her pull up sitting on the toilet. When she's comfortable with that, you cut a hole in the pull up so poop can fall through. Then you cut the hole bigger and bigger until it's as good as not wearing a pull up. When that happens you can remove the pull up altogether and potty training is done.

Also you can try asking her what she's afraid of and deal with her fear. My son was troubled by the sound of the cistern filling up and refused to pee in school. Once his teacher knew that, she made sure he was the first one to use the toilet during potty break and there was no more issue.

I'm guessing it's more of a "control" (she's controlling her poop) issue than anything. You know her bowels are working so I wouldnt worry too much about it and let the phase play through. She'll finally get weary of the warm mush on her butt and decide on her own to use the toilet.
When she puts on the pullup what does she do while pooping? Does she distract herself with a toy or book? Or does she just squat, go and then remove the pullup? If she likes to play while pooping you might just put her favorite thing to do in the bathroom and tell her she can play with it or read it on the potty.

I haven't had this problem, but a friend of mine would let her son put on the pull-up and then sit on the potty (with the pull-up on) to poop. I guess it's sort of a transitional thing to get them used to pooping in a sitting position and makes it a little less intimidating.

My son did this too. He was peed trained a bit after 3, but he continued to only poop in a pull-up until he was over 4. It was very stressful for me and I tried everything. The doctor told me to back off and let him be. She also had me start him on Miralax, which did help. He became responsible for taking care of most of it. He knew where the pull-ups were...he had to put it on, do his business. I would then help take it off as I didn't want poop everywhere, but he had to redress himself. This went on for months and drove me nuts. I tried to push it a couple of times, but it just wasn't worth the trauma for him or I. I finally got to the point where I felt he could handle it. I showed hom how many pull-ups were left and we counted everyday for about 5 days before we ran out. I then told him they didn't have anymore in his size. He did hold it for about 2 days, but finally went. There was a little drama, but not nearly as much as when I had tried to push it before. After he did it, he looked at me with a big smile and said "That wasn't so hard". It was priceless.

I do think it is a combination of fear and control. You know your daughter best and know what may or may not work for her. Each child is different. I offered my son all sorts of rewards, but it really didn't matter. His fear and control overshadowed the rewards. For my son it was best to take small steps...it took us awhile, but it did finally work.

So, be patient and do what you feel is best for your child. She is still pretty young (I have an almost 3 year old too and she is just getting the pee thing) and it will happen. I had days that I thought he'd have to take a pull-up to kinder....

I agree with Gramdma T M and Heather.

My daughter was the same way and she out grew it on her own. It's just the next phase in potty training.

You could set a date (for yourself) and prepare her for the day that big 3 year olds don't use pull-ups anymore. You just tell her that it's coming up and hype it, like a birthday and then you just don't have them anymore. And/or... you make her be part of the clean-up. Help her take off the pull-up in the bathroom and put the poop in the potty.

My daughter took a long time to go poop on the potty and would poop in a pull-up. When we switched to panties, she had 2 poop accidents and that was it. She didn't like the feel of poop in her underwear.

good luck!!

Hello! My daughter (3 1/2 now) did the same thing! She would put on a pullup, go behind the curtain and poop. I asked her Dr. at her 3 yr appt. and she said just let her do it and don't make a big deal about it. Everytime she used to do it I would make a fuss, then I started ignoring it, but when I cleaned her up I would wait 5 minutes after she asked me to clean her and ask her how it felt to have a big dump in her pants? She didn't like it and once I stopped trying to get her to go poop on the potty and following her/watching her when she went behind the curtain she stopped and went on the potty! So just wait it out, eventually the feeling of a big poop and a daiper on will win out. Try to let her have it on her for a few minutes before you change the daiper. Also, my daughter likes privacy on the toilet, so maybe give her a book and tell her to holler when she's done. Took 2-3 months after she turned 3 before we pooped on the potty all the time. Good luck!

Hi A.,
I have just gone through this with my almost 4 year old BOY. I started potty training him at 2 1/2 years old. He was peeing without problems (even staying dry through the night) by 3 years old. The pooping was another issue. I was so stressed out because he was doing exactly what your daughter was doing.. wanting to have a pull up on to have bowel movements. He knew exactly what he needed to do and he refused to go #2 on the potty. This became a real struggle and tested my patience for a good 6 months (3 years until 3 years 7 months). I was trying to control him too much and got very upset when he adamantly refused to use the potty. By then I was so sick of changing stinky diapers.. it was a power struggle. Well, at 3 years 7 months, my son decided THE DAY that HE WANTED TO DO IT for himself. Without my coaxing or forcing, he just did it on his own and has not turned back. So, my advice to you is to allow her to go #2 on the potty when she is ready. Your child knows exactly what to do and she will do it on her own time. Many people gave me this advice but I did not understand it until my son actually decided to do it on his own. But prior to that, i was a basketcase and shameful for some to times that this whole potty thing made me nutty. If I could do it all over again, I would have not stressed myself out about it and left the fight alone. Good Luck to you! This potty training would have been so much easier if I just had it my mind to give the child everything he needed and just sit back and wait for him to do it on his own time. Instead, I tried to take control too much which made this past year a very long one when it could have been so much more enjoyable. I think i also compared my son to other children who were his age and did not have potty training issues.. that made it worse and made me feel inadequate too. All in all, it's over.. he is fully potty trained and accident free since October and I am lovin' it!! This has really taught me a big lesson about parenthood too, so in that case, I am grateful!

Our son was the same way but I stopped putting pull ups on him and let him poop in his underwear and be uncomfortable- it is a mess to clean up for you but it shows the child that pull ups are not an option and using the potty is the best option. When I knew my son needed to poop, he had specific signs, I would even have him be naked and when poop started to come out I would place him on the potty, sometimes he would get scared and we would need to do it several times before he would eliminate. He only goes every other day but at first it was close to 3 days that he held it, I could tell he was uncomfortable and his tummy hurt and we told im it was b/c he needed to poop and once he didi he would feel better. It has to be their choice but try not to give her any other choices but the potty It also helped to bring his cars in to the potty so he could show his "friends" how he uses the potty. It also helped us to use the toilet, it was easier for him to eliminate there instead of the little toddler potty. Don't give up, she will learn to poop in the potty- it is frustrating but it will get better

Hi, when I potty trained my daughter every time I went to the restroom I would set her on the potty chair if she had to go or not and that worked for her and myself.

I lucked out on the potty training thing. My son is almost 3 as well, he's been peeing and pooping in the potty for almost a year now. I was just always fairly blunt with him about it, I told him to poop in the potty as soon as he had to, otherwise he'd get "hard poopies" that would hurt his butt coming out. There was a time though, when he pooped in his pull up, and I remember he must have done it a few times b/c I was asking my friend who has 4 grown kids what to do. Harsh as it sounds, and it took me a while to break down and do it, she told me to not only never let him wear anykind of diaper/pull up, but to tell him that he's gonna poop his pants, and he's going to stink, and nobody's going to want to be around him because he smells bad.Trust me, I am totally against doing anything that may give my kids hang ups or esteem issues, I'm always real careful with that, but, I went ahead and did it, because I was getting sick of cleaning him up-he was getting too big for that, so I did tell him that, and I swear, he understood and he pooped in the potty from that day on. Also, I never gave him things as prizes for pooping/peeing, other than praise, but sometimes when I'd suspect he was holding out on me, I'd ask him if he wanted to go somewhere he really liked, and then I'd tell him "well, go poop before we go, so you don't have to worry about it once we're there, I'll wait for you to go poop". I hope this helps, and I wish you luck. I'm sure different things work on different kids, but it's so nice not doing the pullup/cleaning up a poop-mess thing!

Just refuse to give her the pull-ups. Let her see you throw them away. Tell her that big girls don't poop in diapers and she is a big girl. When you know she has to go, take her to the potty and make her go there. If you want, give her the choice of potty chair or big potty. But I don't think this is an issue where you ought to give in. Almost 3 is way old enough to be using the potty for everything. I wouldn't even give her rewards for it - that implies that she has a choice about WHETHER or not to use the potty?!