My son was on a T-ball team with a few other boys in our neighborhood. This was really how we all know each other. We haven't gotten together outside of the T-ball season. At VBS this week, my son and this other boy (on the T-ball team) happened to be in the same VBS class together, so they played side by side all week. Today when I picked up my son, he says, "Johnny (fake name) said his daddy doesn't like me." I have no idea where this came from, why the boy would say it, or why, if it's true, the dad would say it. We've had very little one-on-one contact with the father; only through games and practices. I am semi-friends with the mother, we have gotten together, but just social things, never one-on-one. Should I bring this up to her nicely and tell her what my son said her son told him and kind of say, "I know sometimes kids just say strange things, but I just wanted to make sure Sam (fake name of my son) hasn't done anything to upset or offend Mark (fake name of father)"? It's bothering me, but I don't know what to do. The mom and I are regulars for Bunko in our neighborhood and our boys will be in school for a loooong time together. Advice would be great about this: What is the best and Christian thing to do with this information/situation?
Thank you,moms, for your answers. I think the right thing to do is exactly what Dalsmom said. The Christian way to handle things is to pray on it, pray for those involved and take the peaceful road of nonconfrontation and humility. I will not say anything to any of the family members and my family will continue to be friends of theirs; I'll use this as a learning tool for my 4YO; and if it becomes clear eventually that the dad or family is not the right fit as friends for my family, we'll just be cordial and polite to them as neighbors.
Don't say anything but keep a close eye on the situation and on this Dad. This is a red flag about this person and it could result in you determining this family is one to keep a distance from-or not. Bares watching either way.
Don't even worry about it.
They are small children, half of what they say is completely fabricated, er, I mean imagined.
I still remember my oldest daughter INSISTING that her little friend had a unicorn, because she TOLD her so, lol!!!
And I remember another little girl in my son's class telling all the boys "you can't come to my birthday party because my mother doesn't like you." I'm pretty sure her mother probably just said "girls only."
It's nothing, just kid stuff, trust me you will KNOW when other parents don't like you, or avoid you and/or your kids!
kids say the meanest things.
don't put stock into it.
I am sure this is a lost in translation, or misinterpretation kind of thing. If it were ME, I would let it go. Unless the father's actions actually show he didn't like my son, I would think it's not actually true.
Best to learn now to ignore half of what your 5 or 6 year old says and question the other half.
I find it hard to believe that an adult man could "not like" a T-Ball aged child, don't you?
Ignore it.
Use it as a teaching moment for YOUR child... how did that make you feel to hear that? This is why we teach you to not say mean things, etc. etc. you know the drill.
Unless of course he never brings it up again... then I would drop it until/if it gets brought up BY HIM. My aunt ALWAYS projects her 'mamma hurt' onto her kids by bringing something like this up again - even when one of her kids doesn't. Don't be that person :).
I would just tell your son that if it's true I'm sure his dad was just joking. Don't let your son dwell on it and don't fret over it.
That's a hard one because if her husband did say he didn't like your boy, I don't think she is gonna just tell you for peace sake or what not but maybe just talk to your boy and let him know not to worry about it. Maybe the dad was talking about someone else or maybe it was a misunderstanding. I wouldn't stress off of it really because you will never really know. Maybe later the truth will come out on it's own. Good luck sweetie!
You mentioned you would like to do the "Christian" thing. I would pray for that family to be blessed and this situation. If you feel it is a good friendship for your son and yourself ask God to give you peace about it and if He doesn't maybe you should seek a different friend for your son to be close to.
Kids say a lot of untrue, exaggerated, strange things at age. I would be a little curious, but would probably brush it off. I think of a way to confront the dad without coming across as petty & dramatic, honestly.
I would not give it another thought and move on with my life.
How old are the boys? In my daughter's pre-k class, the kids make up stories like this all the time. There's lots of drama of the "so-and-so doesn't like you" or "so-and-so is your best friend." I think they are realizing that they are able to control how another person feels and are testing it out a bit and enjoying the control. And, yes, sometimes they are saying things just to hurt each others' feelings. One day my daughter's classmate told her that "your mom is a crocodile!"...they say these kinds of things for the reaction it gets.
I'd ask your son what made Johnny say such a thing and how that makes your son feel. Tell him that it makes you sad and perhaps even say that you don't believe that to be true. Then, unless this kid is a pre-teen or older, I'd let it go and chalk it up to kids testing out the power of their words.
I agree you should pray, however, sometimes you do have to act and then let God guide you as to the right words to say.
I would say "M., the other day your son said to my son that his dad doesn't like him. I wanted to check with you to see why he may have reason to say that and apologize for anything that he may have done that I am not aware of."...that opens conversation and you get to know for real if your child was just talking foolishness, if it is something he heard.
It gives you somethng to move forward with instead being unsure of how they really feel about your son.
Maybe he's a control freak who doesn't like any women to befriend his wife. I wouldn't say anything just watch the behaviors of the other couple and see what happens.
For me I don't care if my friend's hubby likes me or not. If he does it makes things easier but it wouldn't change my friendship with her.
Well, am trying to imagine approcaching the mom, and she is almost like a third party to this so I doubt she would be much help.. If you want to confront someone one I think it really had to be the dad, and I'm not sure saying something would change the Dad's mind, ignoring might go farther to show the dad that your son really is a good kid.
maybe your son was hotdogging it at Tball and the dad is jealous, or maybe your son was goofing around as kids do and not taking the game as seriously, or maybe the kids just made it all up because a whole week of together ness was too much. but occasional lpaydates would be ok.
personally i say drop it.
