What Rutine Do You Use If You're Outside-the-home Crazy Busy and Have Kids

Ephie, when my kids were little, it was organize, organize, organize. (Not my closets, mind you!) My kids' rooms were organized so well that I knew exactly where everything was. My diaper bag was filled all the time with what I needed, and when the kids were bigger, a tote bag. I had snacks, wipes, water, extra clothes, plastic bags in case of an accident, etc. I had all the doctor/dentist etc numbers written in case of emergencies and at my fingertips. We cooked on the weekend and then just worked around those dishes when we got home from work.

I'd wash one or two loads a day and not miss a day so that my weekends didn't blow up into a truckload of laundry to wash. There was a little bit of time after dinner to clean up, but mostly I used it to play with the kids and get them upstairs and started on the evening routine. My husband and I worked together to handle the kids - baths, teeth brushing, reading books, gentle playing, and then bedtime. I never had to be on my own with it because my husband loved being with our kids.

Then we'd clean up the kitchen - ugh! When I became a SAHM later, I had trouble balancing fulltime responsibility with being covered up with my kids and finding out who I was, since I didn't have my career anymore. That was hard, I'll tell you.

It's easier now that my children are mostly grown. I don't worry about organize, organize, organize anymore. (Maybe that's a bad thing...LOL!) But I suggest you do that and write lists, because it will give you more time with your family and help you not be stressed as much while you are at school.

That's how I did the balancing thing.

Hope this helps!!!
Dawn

I'll be reading your answers because homeschooling, working on the voter ID issue in PA, doing freelance design jobs, and minding the entire house and all responsibilities as a single parent are NOT cutting it right now.....since I will always come through for OTHERS, the school work gets done, the kids outside classes and practices get done, the freelance jobs get done, the volunteering gets done, but my OWN SANITY? Not happening. My OWN ROOM and closet? MESS! My OWN exercise? random at best. Everything for everyone else....done. But I need to reassess before I blow.

Ephie - What is the advocate mama thing all about?

In my opinion, you should give up the advocate thing for now. You are a full-time student, and if you keep being an advocate, at 20 hours/week, you won't have time for your kids.

As much as we would like to, we can't do it all. Your kids and family are the most important thing. Don't lose the experience of your kids' childhood by burdening yourself with too many extraneous things to do.

I have come to realize family time is not just in the evening....sometimes we play connect 4 before school. I put notes in my girls lunches. I text my hubby throughout the day just to let him know I'm thinking of him and i love him. Im not sure if that's what your asking or not, but hang in there, itll get better.

Priorities are time with husband and kids. Things that are NOT priorities are things like dusting, window washing, deep cleaning anything, etc... when my life has gotten crazy busy, I try to remember what my REAL priorities are and stick to that. The rest can wait and no one else will care if your windows are clean or your shelves are dusty. =)

i saw something on pinterest the other day (i start sooo many conversations that way *sigh*)...lol. it had a list: something like, be healthy, be a great mom, have an immaculate house, have a great career- women can pick two. and it helped me BECAUSE i really suffer with the "ugh why can't i do IT ALL?" syndrome. (and it boosted my ego a bit because i'm working on 3 lol)

you have a LOT on your plate if you're already doing 60+ hours outside the home (and that's not counting homework for your classes). honestly i DON'T know how you're doing it.

but sometimes we really do have to step back and realize, we CAN'T do it all. maybe this is a period in your life that the advocacy will have to take a back seat to more dinners at home with the family. just my two cents. it's VERY hard to accept that we can't do it all, sometimes.

good luck! i truly mean that. i could not do all that you do. hang in there!

It's time to cut back. You work 40 hours in school/homework and you have a family It is nice to be an advocate moma but that is a volunteer job and it can go for now. Create a daily routine for all: up at ___am, school, homework, dinner at ___pm, kids homework, bedtime. A load of laundry while you do dinner. How old are your kids and do they do sports? You have to factor that in as well.

Know that you will do this for two three years and then you will be done and you will create a new routine for all.

Right now just do the basics and cut out all the extra outside non family activities. My favorite thing is, if you see something on the floor pick it up then don't wait. If you are in the bathroom, clean the toilet or the shower while you are there. One less thing to do later.

Congrats to you and good luck with your studies.

The other S.

PS I am still working on routines on how to do things now that I am older with new dreams.

Ritual!!!!

My dad was gone at LEAST 6 mo a year... And yet, in my memories he was a constant presence in our lives.

Part of this was my mum... Who talked him up every day. I'll skip that part, though

Because the other part was Steak, Bacon & Eggs ... And Waffles or Pancakes.

Every Friday Night was Steak & StarTrek
Every Sat my dad made bacon & eggs
Every Sun he made pancakes or waffles and sausage.

Even here... I say 'every' because that's what I MEAN, because that's what is TRUE even though NOT factual. Because the ritual was there.

Even with (schtupid) 50-50 custody now for 6 months... My son has 'truth over facts' happening as well... Because we've had 'Mom&Movies' night every week for YEARS... So he still SAYS (to friends/ counselor/ etc.) that we do it every week. Even though NOW it's every other week.

Gotta love comforting psychological rituals!!! Be they trust building for school/daycare drop off rituals / bedtime rituals... Or 'Mom loves me.' Rituals. They see us through.

I always make a point of having and sitting down with my kiddos for breakfast AND dinner every day. We pray together daily and always make time for reading at bedtime. It doesnt matter what I have done all day, I make time for this and or a little game....

When I get home from work I listen to my children read aloud. We don't watch much tv anymore and we sit together and talk at dinner. I do their evening routine with them, and we have stories all together on my big bed. I end up tucking in and singing lullabies.

I also like to take them to the local indoor pool after work once a week. It's fun quality playtime together and we can do showers there so no need to do it at home.

Turning the tv off has made a big difference to family time

Cancel the non necessities. Your family is your priority, end of story. You are over stretched and need to learn how to say "no". It's just too much.

As far as routine? Our big thing is eating dinner at home & just hanging out as a family every night. We clean when we clean. DH & I begrudgingly now get up at 4:40 am every morning to do our work out, eat breakfast & get going before DD wakes up. And then, yes, we go to a full day of work. It's busy, but you have to find time to work on you, and keep you happy, and still enough to give to to your family. Everyone and everything else is less important.