What Is Most Important? (A Survey)

I think one of my chapter headings for a book about parenting would be 'consistency'. As parents, it is so easy to not provide consistency in many areas like discipline, routine, schedule, etc.... By providing consistency, it 'fixes' so many 'issues' and provides the child the ability to predict what is happening in their lives.

I think honestly, loyalty, perserverance, and hard work are important values to teach.

Patience and selflessness are very important in parenting for me.

Values I hope to instill in my child: honesty, integrity, faith and curiosity. With big doses of questioning authority and passion.

I think my chapter would be called "Don't sweat the small stuff," or "Don't pet the sweaty things and don't sweat he petty things" HAHA , but you get where I am going. Im the type to not get freaked out if something spills, if there are cherrios dropped, if she wants to walk through a puddle, if she thinks its funny to burp, etc. I see too many parents yel at their kids over such small things, and to me, it's part of life. You can't control everything, accidents happen, and do something thats just plain old fun without stressing over it ending up messy/dirty or just being an inconvenience.
As far as values, I would say love, honesty, individuality.

Independence...
-I want my kids to be self-confident and ready to take on the world when they're 18

Pursuit of education....
-Education, literacy, correct use of language, learning a 2nd language, the love of exploration are critical to getting anywhere.

Realizing the World is a small place and we live in but one country....
-No matter what field you're in, it's a global market.

Empathy....
Being the best you can be without hurting those around you. No megalomaniacs being raised here.

Good question!

unconditional love
empowering/not enabling
responsibiltiy

FLEXABILITY

We can read every book, article, blog and message board there is in existance, but parenting really is one of those "you never *really* know how you will handle things until you're living it" sort of situations. Going into any aspect of parenting with certain expectations really is a good way to set yourself up for disappointment. Allowing yourself the flexability to watch Dora the Explorer 568526586253 times per day with your preschooler while your shopping list grows and your laundry piles up and your floors go unmopped...will in the long run give you so much more satisfaction than knowing you accomplished everything waiting on that stupid list. If life goes according to plan...fantastic. If not, just roll with the punches and enjoy whatever each day brings :)

Wonderful question. I look forward to reading your responses. But, I wanted to answer it before I read the others so that I would not just say, "yeah, what they said!"
I think one chapter would be called, "It's not about you." When my first couple of children were little, I would get so frustrated at their disobedience. It would just get under my skin. It was like they were doing whatever they were doing *to* me, or to provoke me. Really, they were just being untamed children. :) They were fighting their own sin natures, doing what came naturally. My job (along with my husband, of course) was to teach them how they should behave. It is a LONG process, with victories and set-backs. My job was to be patient, loving, kind, graciously showing them the right way to behave with a certain amount of negative feedback (consistently). Also, to praise their good behavior, of course. Once I realized it "wasn't about me" I had so much more peace. I wasn't as frustrated with their antics. It almost endeared them to me more as I realized how God must view my antics. I have the same struggles with obedience that they have. I certainly want to be treated graciously and patiently in the discipline I receive (natural consequences and God's direct discipline on me in my life). Put things in persepctive for me.
Another chapter: "The days are long, but the years fly by." We all hear it from the moment our first child is born. But, it is so hard to comprehend in the midst of diapers and sleepless nights. But, I wish I had cherished those days more with my older kids. Now, I cling to my precious youngest ones' youth. They are so sweet and fun. I adore mommying the littles. I was too busy and looking forward to tomorrow with the olders. I guess contentment with where you're at is a huge thing I've learned.
I think the most important thing I can teach my children is to love God with everything they are. Follow His commands and precepts. Life is so much more peaceful and filled with blessings when you do. We do this by homeschooling, having a time of family worship everyday (we read the Bible together, sing, and pray together), brining Biblical concepts in the everyday events, struggles, joys. Our principles in our family stem from our understanding of God and His Word. Many of the same things you listed. Truth, love, wisdom, honesty, thankfulness in all situations, understanding God's sovereignty in everything.
We truly have been blessed in our family. God has been merciful and generous to us. My kids love each other, pray for each other, have great fellowship together. My husband is a great leader and provider for us. I seriously think it all comes from the way we live and the basic principles we believe.
Okay, off the read the other responses! Thanks for the question.
Edited to add: I just saw how long my response is (it's hard to see when you are typing!). I think I actually DID write a book. Sorry!!

I think making children feel unconditionally loved and also while preparing them for the real world is the most important. These are both things that are difficult to maintain together as the properties of each seemingly try to erase the other.

the balance is crucial and im still trying to figure it out, but my daughters know i love them no matter what, and they also have survival skills. I think i would title a book i would write.

Realistic parenting in an unrealistic world.

cute question

For our family, having a Christ-centered home is most important. I want my children to know that my husband and I love each other unconditionally, that we love them unconditionally, and that God loves all of us even more than we can imagine loving each other. I do believe in fairness whenever possible, which means that sometimes I say yes and sometimes I say no, not always for any good reason--they need to learn that yes and no are words with meaning, but that it is always okay to ask as long as they understand that we mean what we say. I believe in discipline when needed, but never humiliation--I want my children to trust me and never be afraid to tell me anything. I also want them to know that unconditional love is just that--no matter what decisions they make in life, they will always be loved.

That said, I also believe in letting boys be boys as much as possible, especially little boys. :) I believe in letting them have fun, get dirty, jump in puddles (as long as we're not on our way into church), and catch little critters (as long as they're gentle with them). I expect them to help clean up their messes when we're finished. I believe in reading to them, teaching them to be polite and respectful of other people and property, but to never feel that anyone has the right to make them uncomfortable (being in trouble of course is not the same thing). Anyway, I guess it boils down to loving.

I did really appreciate a reminder in church a few months ago about how important it is for a family that parents put each other first (in general) so that their children understand how important that relationship is, that it is a partnership, and that they also have a good example for themselves when they grow up. He pointed out that you have your kids for 17 or 18 years at home, but you have your spouse a lot longer. I have a lot of respect for men and women who raise children alone, but I also feel that one of the foundations for good parenting is a strong marriage.

Love, Honesty, Respect, Loyalty, Laughter, Family Fun, Lifelong Learning......

How do I teach/show these things? By living them.

Parenting components:
- a sense of humor (it gets you through a lot -- & reminds you it's not all about you and not everything is a big deal)
- patience (with your children, your spouse -- and yourself. Nothing is quick; nothing is done or taught in just one sitting or just one time)
- consistency (if you aren't consistent then you are confusing -- and why should a kid pay attention to someone who confuses them? But consistency is not the same thing as rigidity.)
- a sense of long term goals & short term objectives (how does what I do today influence how this child will be tomorrow? If I want them to be confident, compassionate, life-long learners, etc., LATER what am I doing NOW to support that. And how does NOW translate to LATER?)

Values:
- compassion,
- integrity,
- self-discipline
- Be and do your personal best