Question for Anyone Willing to Help with a Non-mommy Related Topic

1- Loyalty is a commitment to follow someone or something forever in what they are doing/feeling... It is binding yourself to it/him/her.

2- It is never OK to betray your loyalty, but it (often?) happens that one has to choose between 2 loyalties and may "betray" the other. Doing it doesn't mean it is OK. There is a hierarchy in loyalties, different for each individual. Here is mine: my principles, my family, my friends, others (boss, colleagues, country...). In real life, it's very difficult situations.
Some examples:
- when my dad was sick, he specifically asked that he would be informed of everything on his condition. The doctors informed us that he was terminally ill (at most 2 weeks to go) and that knowing it would deeply affect him and possibly made his last days a nightmare. My loyalty goes to my dad over the doctors. My love too. We kept silent. He died 3 days later, serene but "betrayed" by his children and wife.
- a few years ago, I was candidate to be junior editor in a magazine company. My trial" mission was to write an article going against my convictions. I turned the job down. My "boss" called me to tell me that my principles would not feed me. He was right but I knew that I could look at myself in the mirror and never regretted this decision
- I'm leaving here in California, far away from my native France. Every week, when I call her, my grandma asks me why I betrayed my country and moved away
When you have a choice to make, you just need to know what your priorities are.

my brother in law (husbands brother, i know him since he is 7 years old) was going out with a girl for years, she was almost like a sister to me, we were together all the time. then they broke up. she and i were talking one day shortly after, and she started telling me about some other guy she started seeing. i stopped her and told her not to tell me anything that she wouldnt want me to tell him, because he is like my brother and that is where my first loyalty is. she was surprised and hurt, we didnt talk much after that anymore, we have become friendly again years later, but never the same. so... loyalty is sticking by someone, being true to them, not betraying them even when it hurts. and i think its ok (maybe not ok, but necessary) to betray your loyalty in the face of a greater loyalty. or of course if its causing real harm to someone.

1. Please give your own definition of loyalty ----- Following anything or anyone without question, no matter the request of whatever is asked. Unconditional support.
2. Under what circumstances is it okay to betray your loyalty? ---- Only when that person or thing that you've been loyal to has hurt (mentally or physically) yourself or someone else ....

1. loyalty is sticking by a person through thick and thin. being there for them not only when times are good but also when they're broken, upset, confused and even unloveable (which we all are at times).

2. it's ok to break the loyalty when keeping it brings harm either to others or yourself - emotionally, physically, spritually, etc.

loyalty is complete understanding. supportive to the fullest. its no matter what! its never ok to betray loyalty. my chinese astrology animal is the year of the dog, the dog stands for loyalty.

Unconditional devotion and attachment to another person. To be so strongly connected to another person that it is second nature to put their needs before your own.

When it is unhealthy for the other person to remain loyal or it affects your "higher order" loyalty. In my opinion, you are loyal to different people on different levels. There is a hierarchy so to speak. So, for me, my children would be first, my family (like my mom) would be next, etc., etc. But let's say in order to be "loyal" to my mom, it negatively affected my kids, I would use "higher order" loyalty to make my decision.

Hope this makes sense and good luck on your paper.

K.,

I believe loyalty is putting another's needs infront of yours and sticking by someone even when it's hard.

As for betrayal of loyalty, I think it's ok when the other person is doing something harmful or you are not able to deal with it.

When I was a Nanny, my charges could come & talk to be about anything, but I told them that I would tell their parents if I felt the (Mom & Dad) needed to know.

Good Luck

R. Magby