What Has Being on Mamapedia Taught You About Yourself?

I've learned that I know virtually nothing about being a parent for kids older than my own. Ages 5 & under, I think I can handle pretty much anything.

I've also learned that most of my own problems are very small compared to some of the difficulties other moms (and dads) out there are facing, and that I am very lucky to have the people in my life that I do have.

I think it's taught me to STOP and not reel off any old answer.. Albeit, I am still working on that.. Although I may not mean to come off as harsh, sometimes I think if you were to read my answer to a question, you might think otherwise.
Additionally, I am working on making my answers shorter........... (that is a work in progress)

:)

I am more sensitive than I think.
I'd rather help hurting people than help privileged kids be more privileged.
I am old.

Bad language still makes me flinch.
It never hurts to be kinder than nessasary.
Common sense is not common.

Pain draws us closer.
Politics makes us crazy and drives us apart.
Regional differences are huge but personal pain is universal.

The desire to help your child makes you tell things and ask questions like you normally would never express.
I am glad I don't have a Facebook.
I talk too much.

That I spend way too much time on the computer . . . :P

Most of all, it has taught me that just when I think I have something all figured out, someone will show me a completely new angle that I had never thought of, that makes a lot of sense. It reminds me that our experiences really shape our perception of things.

that i have to be VERY careful how i disagree with people. people are VERY sensitive, and online, they are LOOKING for dissenters, and jump on it as harassment, or snarkiness, even if it wasn't meant that way. even if it was a perfectly cordial answer that just happened to disagree with their opinion. you really CAN'T be just honest with people, without completely sugarcoating it- unless you are okay with pi**ing a bunch of people off. i have had to completely rethink how i answer questions on here, because straight honesty (and i am not a rude/mean person) just doesn't work.

at the same time, i have started to notice, as "nice" as i think i am, i do my own form of judgment every single day. and it's no more right than the out-loud obnoxious in your face kind.

however, it has VERY much made me a smarter, more confidant mom. i don't know where i'd be without you ladies to help me out! not only do i know where to go when i don't know how to handle something - it has shown me lots of differing styles and philosophies and i am more educated, so i am very sure of the kind of parent i want to be.

i have also learned that i am SO SO SO very blessed to have the support system i have. not only here with me, physically, to answer questions and help with things like childcare, etc. but to have been raised by an amazing mother who instilled good parenting as just a matter of habit and instinct. so many moms didn't have that, and are so lost because of it. i don't know what i'd do if i hadn't been raised in my amazing family.

i have also learned to read other responses before answering - because ten to one there will be things in them that i hadn't thought of for my answer. there are a million facets to most issues.

this site has taught me SOOO many things, i can't even list them all. it has been here for me from day 1, when i was still pregnant. now over 6 years later it's still here for me, and i still learn something new every day. it's pretty awsome :)

That I have no life.

:(

***Wait! And that moms are the MOST fascinating creatures on the planet!

I'm less shy here than I am in real life and that is liberating and disappointing all in the same heartbeat, for in reading many of the opinions here, I find myself in a minority and it's as lonely a place to be as when I'm in a room full of people yet trapped in my own head with my voice dead on my lips.

I usually learn that I already know the answer to my question, but the responses I get help me clarify. When I get a response I don't agree with, it helps me to understand why my way is best. When others agree with me, it helps solidify my opinion.

It has taught me to think before I speak.

Mean what I say.

That I am extremely passionate about what I believe in.

That some of the people who ''know me best'' dont have to be close by.

I have become close to four of the BEST women on here. They all play a BIG part in keeping me sane. And I can never tell then enough I love them.

Not to begrudge my other friends here. You all helped me work through the worst time in my life.

I was ready to give up.

I turned to you guys simply out of desperation. You all stepped up and gave me strength to battle my demon.

I have slowed down how often I am on here. Mainly a self control thing.

I think it is human nature to ''judge'' while you are reading and writing. Because you can not always depict tone in ones writing, it is always subject to interpretation.

I have had to go back and right some pretty nasty lashings. Just because that is not normally me. So I try not to go blow for blow when I respond to stuff now.

It has made me more confident as a parent and in my convictions, because I don't feel the need to reply to the ridiculousness that people often post and respond/state in their responses. I am secure enough in myself and my parenting to laugh and move on. When I have something I feel is valuable to say, I say it, otherwise, I don't. Sure, I have learned some tips and tricks about motherhood, and I have felt that I am not alone in this journey and in some of the hardships I have gone through/am going through, but ironically, the biggest thing has been that the defensive, argumentative, I-post-this-question-but-have-no-interest-in-really-hearing-responses-other-than-my-own attitude so many have on her does not bother me at all! It is liberating.

Oh, that, and I save the need to correct grammar and spelling for my 5th graders!

I think it has taught me that all of us have the same goal. We want our kids to be happy, healthy, and have all the opportunities (or more opportunities) than we had growing up. It has taught me that all of us have different ideas for how to reach that same place. And that we have those different ideas because of our life experiences. Some moms on here have polar opposite views on many things, and I know they are not wrong, they're just coming at it from a completely different life experience than I have had. It's always eye-opening (and yes, sometimes head-smackingly infuriating ;), and completely addictive! I love having this perspective on the world that I never had before.

As an aside, I've been on this site for 6+ years. Back in the day, it used to be region-specific. So I used to be able to see only questions and answers from San Francisco Bay Area moms. It has definitely changed (A LOT!) both in terms of the types of questions and the types of answers since then. At first, I was totally thrown for a loop by the larger demographic, but now I think it's great.

it's taught me that i wrote the exact way I talk. that i am not sensitive at all and i take criticism lightly. that a lot of people struggle with the same issues i do. that we are all in this together, meaning being parents.

Wow- great question!! I hadn't thought about it, but I do think it has made me realize that I am more confident than I thought. And it has helped me to really clarify my parenting philosophy (and life in general).

I have learned to take in other perspectives with more grace. Even if I feel one way about something, the other perspectives make me realize that many others feel differently and I need to realize that.

I realize that really, we are all more alike than we are different. We struggle with the same issues and want the same happiness for ourselves and our families. We all just have different ways to get there!

And on a not so positive note, I am learning what I don't want to be. I don't want to be someone who uses a request for help and support to kick them while they're down and make myself look so smart and superior. If someone is asking for help, I want to be one who helps lift them up, not step on them to make myself look or feel better with 'pithy' comments. :-(

Mostly I learned that there are some incredible women (and men) out there who will send kindness through the computer and take time to help someone feel better. Awesome question, I'm going to think of this all day!

I have learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought and that I am pretty darn lucky. When I look at many situations I get so sad to see what some people have to go through daily. And it also makes me sad that many women have not found their voice.

I've leaned to be a little more thankful for my simple but happy life. I don't ever like to hear that other people are struggling, but since this is a place for sharing, I realize that many Moms have SO much more to deal with than I do. Yes, we all have problems from time to time. I feel blessed to know I have a roof over my head, a husband who loves me and makes me laugh every day, a teenage daughter who is a joy and the light of my life, enough money to pay the bills (most of the time, at least), and an extended family who is there for me - despite some idiosyncrasies.

So many Moms are dealing with serious health issues, family problems, drugs, domestic violence, cheating spouses, children with Autism, ADHD, physical problems, learning disabilities, poverty, etc. - I will lay my head on my pillow tonight and thank God again for all my blessings. I'll also offer prayers for everyone who is struggling with anything life happens to be throwing their way tomorrow.

I've learned that I'm not so different from Moms all over this country and around the world. We all want our kids to be happy and succeed and be prepared for life. I've learned that having a few more years behind me sometimes gives me a little wisdom to share with others. I'll be looking at my deepening crow's feet tomorrow with a different attitude.