What Do You Think??? - Morrisville,PA

I have to identify with the lady at the supermarket. I would never in my right mind go on vacation with my in-laws. We have a very strained relationship, my MIL continually babies my husband, and even refers to him as "brother" in front of his own children, because that's what they called him growing up. Either way - it's not a healthy environment, and I wouldn't subject my children to it. I certainly wouldn't ruin a family vacation by inviting them along, especially to Disney World, no less. Not every family benefits from extended family interaction. Sometimes it can be downright unpleasant, and bad for everyone involved.

I LOVE my in-laws, and while I would enjoy having them along on vacation to help with the kids and for just plain fun, I can see how it might end up being a little too much togetherness for all of us. We see them about once every month or two, so being on vacation and together 24/7 would be very different from the norm.

However, some people don't get along with their in-laws. Others do, but only because it's important for their spouse/kids/family harmony, and they don't really enjoy it. I can see how some folks wouldn't want to be on vacation with in-laws.

you never know how someone else's life is. they may have a rocky relationship with her in-laws. i wouldn't even worry about HER situation.

I would rather be coated in honey and released near a room full of bees than endure a vacation with my MIL.

Disney + MIL = hell, imo!

I think that without knowing the woman, her family, or her reasoning, there's no way I could form a opinion on this scenario :-) I'm not really sure why you're so concerned over a perfect stranger's situation...

I have to say, I'm with the lady at the grocery store.

We don't get to go on vacation very often, so when we do, it's a special time for just us. I certainly don't want to have to put up with my mother-in-law! I don't dislike her (but she's certainly not my favorite person either), but I wouldn't want to worry about saying something that hurt her feelings, or making sure she got enough face time with the kids, or not overwhelming her, etc., etc.,.... sounds like WAY too much stress to me!!

I was just telling my husband the other day... about the jealousy... I'm glad we don't have sons because if I did, I know I would be jealous of my daughter in law. It doesn't matter who she is or what her story is (I don't even have sons!!), I dislike her, because my hypothetical son, who was once a hypothetical momma's boy, is suddenly more concerned about his hypothetical wife! Sounds heart-wrenching. It's a fact of life, and all mothers of boys have to deal with this at some point. But I would definitely have a hard time with it!

I'm glad you get along with your mother-in-law but that is unfortunately not the norm.

Either of my MILs can come with us any time they want! On the other hand my mother is definitely not invited.

We have gone on vacation, to WDW in fact, with our kids, my sister, her husband, their kids & my parents & all rented one huge house to stay in for the week. It was a blast & we plan on doing it again next summer. With that being said, there is no amount of money on Earth that would ever get me to do the same thing with my in-laws. Seriously, none. They are pushy, abrasive, and I believe, a bit rascist towards me & therefore, whether they intend to be or not, towards my children. Just because someone is family doesn't mean that you want to necessarily spend your extremely hard-earned vacation time with them, ESPECIALLY at the "Happiest Place on Earth"!!!

I'd take my MIL in a hearbeat! She probably couldn't walk around the parks with us much - she has back trouble. But she could lounge by the hotel pool and such during the day and then watch the kids in the evening so hubby and I could run around!

Unless you know the history between the two woman and the dynamics of how her in-laws interact with her family, then you don't know enough to have an opinion. It might be sad. Or it might be a giant "WHEW!"

I have family members that I would LOVE to have with us someplace like that. And I have some that I wouldn't. I also have some that would and some that would not respect our choices when it comes to saying "no" to things. Being at Disney can be loads of fun.. but sometimes the company can make all the difference. Or maybe it is their first time taking the kids and she didn't want to miss any of it. Having the grandparents there virtually guarantees that the group would split up at some point and Mom/Dad would miss out on some of their kids' "firsts". Or maybe her husband acts differently when his parents are around. Or maybe it would alter their choices of where/what to eat. Or whether to stay for the fireworks. Or maybe their 4 kids turn into whiny spoiled brats around the grandparents. Or maybe ________.
The point is, you don't know. Perhaps you might have asked HER instead of us? She may have perfectly valid reasons for it. Or she might not. But they may important to her and make or break the trip for her.
It's great that they are getting to go. Period. Leave it at that.

Really depends on the inlaws. I would have brought my inlaws and they would have been happy to watch my kids, they wouldn't have imposed on us and would have treated the kids wonderfully. I would not have brought my mom on the other hand, though I love her and think she did a much better job at rasing her kids than my inlaws did. She's difficult to be around she's hypercritical and is not a lot of fun. She's good with the kids when they need someone to hug them, comfort them when they're sick - she's not a person to bring on vacation.

But all of that is a moot point at this time since my FIL has passed away, my MIL is in a nursing home and my mom is in hospice. So much can change in a couple of years so enjoy everyone & spread the love around while you can!

Its sad to say but some people just dont get along with their Inlaws. I personally have the best extented family ever and I would go and have gone on many family vacations with my MIL. I love my MIL like a second Mother and I feel bad for the women out there that dont have a loving relationship like I do with their MIL

Well, because there is in laws, and there is in laws.
Mine are wonderful - but to be honest at 74 years old, wouldn't be much in the way of help for my busy 3 year old, and my adventurous 8 year old - I like the looking on bewildered comment, that is kind of what mine do. They are just to old and tired to chase them. So Love, yes, that is there, but help, not so much.

Not everyone has the same kind of family. Her in laws could be horrible people... or her inlaws could be expecting her to pay (when she can't). Just because someone is family by blood or marriage doesn't mean that there is love in that relationship.

For example, I will NEVER bring my MIL anywhere... she's an evil woman*. My SIL & BIL and their two kids I love greatly, but there's no way on earth we could afford to more than double our trip expense.

((I don't use the term lightly... she's sold children to pedophiles. She's not even allowed to share air with myself or my son.))

There are other people I love DEARLY, that I would never vacation with for compatibility issues.

I love my in-laws and would be fine with it.. though it always hasn't been that way. Family dynamics are different in every family. Her in-laws may be real hell beasts.... or maybe this friend is just super obsessive and is offended easily and no one can do anything right by her. Who knows.

To each his own.

After all, to me, there is time with ONLY your family and time to spend it with the relatives. You do not have to tote around or include your relatives/in-laws everywhere.
Personally, I would want to enjoy a family trip, with ONLY my family. My own nuclear family.

I have a friend, in which her Mom and sister go EVERYWHERE with them. Really now... isn't that a bit much and irritating? I mean, I am sure the Husband would want to just go places with just her and their kids. They get no privacy. But well, that is them. So be it.

Maybe that woman you talked to has noxious nosy intrusive and bossy In-Laws. So yes, she needs to put her foot down. It is her family, her life, her plans. Not theirs.

You never know, what her situation is like.

This would have irked me to no end! I LOVE when "my" family goes places together, but honestly, we have been trying for years to get my in-laws to go to Disney with us and they always say it isn't their thing (really it's they are selfish and don't want to go themselves). I am with you, this would have made me sad for her kids...my son asks all the time why Grandma and Grandpa don't want to go to Disney with him like Nana and Poppop (my parents) do. Hopefully some day this woman realizes how wrong she is and has them come with them!

I would be happy to take my in- laws and even suggested it when we went to Disneyworld last month. My husband however likes to take our family vacations with just us and the kids.

Mwahahahahaha!!!!

You would probably have to institutionalize DH and I afterwards if we went to Disney w/ either set of our IL's.

Mommyof2: My MIL refer's to DH as "Chris" to our children! Drives me batty!

Prior to children we did go away for a weekend w/ my IL's and it was ok...but only cause we spent most of time apart. Don't think it would work that way w/ kids involved. And I don't trust them alone w/ my kids. :(

I love my inlaws, they're not perfect, but who is? I would love to take them on vacation!

Well... maybe her inlaws are very overbearing, dramatic, and just a pain in the behind. lol. It could be that instead of 'more love' and helping, they would want to be chouferred (sp?) around, wouldn't want to wait in lines, complain the whole time and make everything miserable. Personally, if I had a chance to go to Disney, and could afford to take them with me (or if they could pay their own way) I would jump on it in a heartbeat. They have done soo much for my little family in the last year that any small way to repay them would be done.

Why do you think there would be love or help???? My ILs either look on bewildered or criticize everything about the kids which sort of gets my husband to feel as a bad parent indirectly and be hard on the kids....And me? - I just have to say I take a lot of deep breathes and somehow trained myself to tune out the instant one of them speaks (works for me, most of the time I just smile like an idiot and pretend not to hear anything, "Ah, what was that dear, the flowers are just beautiful, aren't they?"). As for help - my MIL literally has her hands folded all the time, never gets up if she nestled down on the couch (one time the child was getting into the medicine bottle! and she was just chirping to a 1.5 y/o "Sweetie, don't do that" without moving a finger, thankfully, my husband was nearby and saved a life), and would never even dream to help with anything. The classic case was after I had my second baby and they came over "to help" and my MIL walked into the kitchen in the morning, sat down at the table and asked "What is for breakfast today?" from a woman who just gave birth and was on disability for 5 month!!!!
Sorry about the rant, just wanted to paint a picture of what is out there sometimes.
There are very strange people walking this earth, trust me, so I always keep my mind open before assuming anything about anyone no matter what strange comment they make.
If someone has good and helpful ILs - count your blessings!

if my MIL were to say she's coming to disney with us I would say: no you're not.
So, if you don't know how this woman's MIL is you really can't say how sad that is. If Mil has not been kind, loving or grandma-like why should she tag along on what is supposed to be kids' dream vacation. Trust me, my MIL would never get invited on a family vacation with us. Not happening. It's a sentiment my hubby and I share.