Vacation with in Laws

I will start off by saying that the title of this post made me cringe!

Here is the deal, your in-laws obviously want to do this for not only you but for them. They want to see you all having a great time and be a part of it. They want to make a memory. How can you say no to that?

I can guarantee you that after a few days of hiking the happiest place on earth, they will need a day off. Then you can all run at your own pace. Or, after dinner, head out for a while.

What about getting them scooters? It might make it really enjoyable for all of you.

So go, enjoy and don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Graciously accept the offer. Go and have a blast. A sk them if you and hubby can go enjoy some adult time after the kids are settled one night. Also, you can take the kids for some of the extended hours (I am sure the grandparents will love some quiet downtime too). Ask them if they would like a day or part of a day to themselves.

This will be a "grin and bear it" experience for you. Your kids will have a blast, and they will have fantastic memories they can cherish long after Grandma and Grandpa have left this world.

Why can't people just accept the gift, and enjoy what things they can do? Isn't some of Disney World better then no Disney World? My kids would be thrilled with what they could do, and not be looking at it as what they can't do. Heck, so would I. Of course there's going to be some compromising, but is it really that hard to do?

Kids need to learn early: You don't get to do everything you want, when you want to do it, and you also need to be grateful for what you do get. Perfect opportunity here to teach them a little of that. Plus, the in-laws clearly see this as time to be together -- if they slow you down a little, if the kids miss this or that ride but do plenty of others--is that really such a problem? It's all still free and all still extremely generous. Do you feel that if the in-laws don't want to hit the rides, or do this or that, then your kids can't either? That's surely not the case. Your in-laws will be happy at times to sit with your husband and chat while you take the kids on a ride or two, or to sit with you while your husband does the same. And as someone else posted, Disney is vast and exhausting and you actually will not "do/see everything" in one go, unless you want kids who are melting down with exhaustion.

Missing a few things that you might have done, while getting to do tons of other great things for free--how that turns out all depends on the attitude with which you (and your children and husband) approach it. You can choose to be frustrated and upset that your kids didn't do everything they wanted every day, or you can model a positive, upbeat and grateful attitude for your kids and enjoy not just Disney but the experience of sharing Disney with the grandparents. Disney will still be there after they are gone. Can you refocus here, and see this as sharing Disney with the grandparents who want to be there and see the kids' happy faces, rather than see it as a trip that ruins your kids' ideal Disney experience? Grandma and grandpa won't be there forever to go with you, pay for you and see the kids having fun.

Years ago I read an article about tips or "rules" for traveling with extended family. Maybe you can Google it and find something similar or check out a travel website for advice. I would go ahead, but if it's possible for your husband to nicely tell them in advance that you have certain needs that might be helpful. I do remember two of the tips from the article, which unfortunately I found AFTER we had vacationed with my in-laws. 1) Everyone in the group gets to pick one activity that is a priority for them (time can be a factor, but this often works out because some people have the same priority or no priority), and 2) it is o.k. to sometimes go your separate ways and do different things. In fact, it's recommended and healthy. Our vacation with my in-laws didn't go so well because these things were not done and they in fact opposed them. Our vacations with my parents and extended family have always gone pretty well precisely because we follow these tips even before we knew they were official tips from a travel expert.

It might also be a good idea to talk to your in-laws in advance about the kids' schedules if they aren't already familiar with them. Do you plan to try to stick to their regular mealtimes and bedtimes or are you going to take a "we're on vacation" attitude and go with the flow?

If you can manage it and if your husband and in-laws can take the kids for a few hours I also recommend some "me" time for you--take an afternoon to sit by the pool or go shopping by yourself.

So, I wouldn't decline. I would be gracious and accept their generous offer, show your appreciation and see if you can institute some "guidelines" in advance. Have fun/good luck!

Geesh.......

Free trip to Disney World with some limitations for some older family members that won't ever, EVER, get to go again and have this experience with their grandchildren

OR

Stay home and wish you were well off enough to go by yourself and the just miss out on seeing any of it.

You do sound selfish and not very grateful. Perhaps you need to think about this from their perspective for a change. They are wanting to have this experience with their grandchildren and to do that they have to spend the day with you too....lol. That may not sound fun to them but they offered anyway.

Decline their offer will be like putting a knife in their heart. Be grateful. Secondly, your kids are very young. The pool is where they will want to be if you are going in the summer and that is what they will remember. You will never get to do everything the first time you go. Let your in laws enjoy the experience. The condo is a good idea with little ones. Saves on food, at least breakfast. It will be a great trip for your kids. There are so many children out there without grandparents. They would love for just one day to be treated like your in laws are treating you.

Just keep your expectations low and plan to go back one day and see everything. You should go and just enjoy a vacation! Don't plan what you would normally do since your in-laws are not able to do that. Plan on doing a fraction of what you would do and enjoy that fraction. Enjoy just being away from home and in vacation mode. Let the kids enjoy their grandparents and vice versa. That's what I would do anyway. If you are going for quite a few days have your hubby talk to them and see if they mind if you all take off for a day to be crazy and cover a lot of ground at the park. I adore my in-laws though so it is easy for me to say this.

your kids will have the most amazing time and create such great memories with your parents. since your saving all of that money why not extend your trip for 3 days alone after they leave?

If you have already told them "yes", then you really can't decline at this point. Look at it this way, your children will have a great time no matter what. It's Disney and it's awesome!

Renting a condo is likely more cost-effective on many levels... including food wise. You can easily buy snacks and breakfast items to have in the condo versus eating every meal "in the park" for a week.

Tension will ONLY arise if you allow it to. Go into the trip knowing that you will be with your inlaws for the majority of the time and if it turns out differently, great. I would suggest that you play it by ear.

How awesome that you have in laws that love your kids and then add that they want to treat you guys. I say go with them and have fun enjoying the family time. Have the goal be to show your kids that grandparents are special. You want them to teach their kids the same perspective about you when you are older. My parents treated all their kids and grandkids to a Disney trip. Unfortunately, my siblings made it all about what they want to do with their kids. I love my sibs and we are very close but I felt their focus was off. I think it should have been first about Grandma and Grandpa and then Mickey. If you want to go and have full say then pay for
your family to go another time. Then it can be all about Mickey. Have fun Mama and remember life is too short to have tension over Disney decisions.

I vacation every other year with my In Laws, too. We stay in condos. The first year, I let things ride. Not bad, just a lot of down time and hanging around the pool. I wanted a little more outings and sight seeing, so the next year I put together an itinerary of sorts. That included down time and the things I wanted to do with my family.

Pull together a list of things you all MUST or really WANT to do. Share it with your in laws and ask them if they are ok with that and then do it. Be sure to preface your list to say, I know you all have some mobility issues, so that is why I wanted to run this by you so we all knew what our expectations of the vacation are.

Also, if possible to section off the days so that there are activities in the morning and more down time in the afternoon, or allow for more time to get from a to b, that would be nice.

Good luck and enjoy:)

If you were planning a trip already then save the money you would have spent, have a great vacation with the inlaws, let your children enjoy their grandparents, and then if you do not get to do/see everything you wanted then take the money you saved and go again next year by yourselves.

I think you are overestimating how much you'll be doing with young children. When we went with young kids we'd hit the park in the morning and then head back to the hotel for lunch and afternoon naps. Then we'd head back to the park until the kids were tired. We had a plan on what to see and ride ahead of time but left it flexible so that no one would be disappointed. Talk with your in laws and see what they would like to do as far as activities. Let them know that you are concerned that being around your young children may be stressful on them (your in laws) so you'd like to plan time apart just to give your in laws time to themselves.

It will be a great vacation for your children. When we went with my parents the kids had a lot of attention because there were so many adults around to care for them. If someone didn't want to ride on a ride there was a grown up to sit with them or take them to another activity. I'd say start communicating now to set correct expectations and know that it won't be perfect. Even if you went by yourselves it wouldn't be perfect. Perfect is only in movies.

I agree with the other posters. Suck it up and just enjoy the trip-knowing you might not get to do everything that you want to do. It is a huge undertaking and they change things all the time so on your next trip (on your dime) then go do whatever you want to do but this time-just go with the flow-even if it is a little slower pace than you would normally go at.

And the kids will enjoy it no matter what. If you can or not is up to you.

Can you afford to go on your own dime? If so, accept the offer to go together, but pay your own way. Also, bring up the idea of staying at a park hotel. Explain that it will be easier to get back and forth--especially if you all want to come and go at different times. Good luck! I hope you can work out the details!!

I refuse to stay with my own family in the same room/condo, let alone my husband's family. We took our kids on a cruise for their big Christmas gift this last year and my husband offered his mom a trip on us. WHAT?! I do the budget and an extra person wasn't included. Anyways...he wanted her to bunk in the same room as our kids. YEA RIGHT! We did get two balcony rooms for the 5 of us, with a connecting door. The connecting door was always open, but we all had our own beds. and space.

His mom ended up not coming...which is good. We did far too much walking for her and it would have been the same kind of situation.

My parents understand that we do a lot more than they would want to, but at a place like Disney, my mom does more than we do! She can never have enough Disney! I am trying to talk my family into coming with us in December (the Christmas trip this year), and already told anyone who comes that we'll see them sometimes, but we don't expect them to do the kid rides like my kids will want to do - or even go on the same big rides at the same time....people will be there to vacation. We'll do things together, but also alone.

I'd be honest with my MIL and tell her we appreciate the offer, but is she sure she wants to keep up with the kids in the park. If not, is she going to mind us doing our own thing with the kids.

And if you are glued to their hips, then you go knowing you won't get to do everything. You don't HAVE to do it all just because it's the first time.

When we had a Disney trip offered, we were there with a total of 5 kids and 6 adults. We had the same fears. The age range of the kids meant that the olders would want to do stuff, and the littles would want to do stuff.

The way I approached it, and all of the adults agreed was for a parent to go with one kid. The kid was in charge. That way they got to do Disney how they wanted. Each day, we would decide on which park to go to. Then, we would pair up for the day (parent/kid). Everyone then agreed on a time to meet back up for dinner. Ready, set, go!

This worked out wonderful! I wish we had had more time there. My son and hubby decided to not go to the park one day and just hang out at the pool. That was okay too.

When you go, get the dining plan, it will save you money, even if you are staying off property. Plan your meals now as some places only take advanced reservations. Also, consider the park hopper for more flexibility.
You don't say what your kids ages are. Magic Kingdom is for kids up to about 7-8, Epcot (didn't get to) is for olders. Animal kingdom is for most ages. Downtown Disney is more for evening/nightlife.

We do this every couple of years with my in-laws. We get a condo at an off grounds resort/hotel so that we can have a kitchen for all the little kids. Everyone has their own room and their own space. I actually like it better than staying on grounds because there is space to spread out more than in a regular hotel room. My in-laws are great and don't boundry stomp in any way. We all get along great for the most part. They came with us for our olderst daughter's first trip to disney. I am a huge disney fan and knew that her first trip would be special for us. They gave us our space and we had her first time at Magic Kingdom with just hubby, daughter and me. It was great and we will do it again next year. Everyone does their own thing and we get together for usually one day at a park.
I would sit down and discuss it with them more. Maybe come up with some set rules. Look into the condo and see if it will work for your family.

there's no doubt that this is less than ideal from your perspective. however, if you look at it as doing something nice for your in-laws and keeping expectations for your own fun low, it really will be a nice thing to do.
plan a trip of your own with your kids when you can do and see everything. but let your in-laws have this trip with their grandkids, and let it be to a large extent on their terms. it will create great memories for them AND for your kids, even if it means you need a spa afternoon afterwards to unknot your clenched muscles<G>.
khairete
S.

Would it be possible for you and your husband to sit down with them before the trip and talk about scheduling and expectations? I think if everyone has different expectations, tension will arise. If you can talk about the expectations before the trip, things should go smoother. You might have to compromise on some things, but that's life. Gifts such as a trip like this, unfortunately, rarely come without strings attached.

It's not unreasonable for you to plan to have 1 day of the trip that would be just you and your kids. Kids wear the grandparents out. The grandparents might appreciate the time.

It would be a bonus for you and your husband to have them take the kids one night and the two of you could go to the clubs at Downtown Disney.

Let the kids enjoy the time with their grandparents and make the best of the trip. It's a free one, so you have nothing to lose. You can go again next year on your own dime.

Have fun. I wish I was headed to Disney again soon!

From personal experience where the entire family went, including my bro and sil and their kids and our parents, and we all stayed in a condo type place with our own bedrooms only, it was crazy, but in the end the kids remember it as a great vacation. they didn't know what they missed out on. They had a great time, and they still talk about it two years later. And they are 5 and 7 now, so were 3 and 5 then. I didn't have as good a time but the kids really enjoyed it, and they remember it as a great family vacation. So my advice is go and do it, be a little more laid back about you do. You can always go back when you pay for it yourselves. We probably won't go back for about 5 more years, so the kids will be much older. But then we can do more or different things. Try not to stress about it too much, know going in there will be struggles and conflict and try to roll with it. But I would not decline the offer of a free trip, but that is just me. The kids will have a great time no matter what you do and even if you don't do everything you want to do. Have fun!

Maybe your husband can't get off work?

I would and did do without vacations for years rather than have this arrangement. My inlaws took the other families and they were ALL miserable. The kids never want to go to Disney again.

For the record, I don't think you're being selfish. I totally get where you're coming from. I don't vacation well with others. I guess I'd probably lower my (and everyone's) expectations. Kids really won't know what they're NOT doing. Really, do they know everything they could possibly do? Try to do some talking ahead of time with your in-laws and see how they see the trip going.

Take this trip as your introduction to Disney and plan on going back another time alone so you can do some things you missed. You can't possibly see/do everything the first time around anyway, can you?