What Are YOUR Biggest Personal Challenges That Impact the Rest of Your Life?

My husband had a severe brain hemorrhage at 43 years old and I am his full-time caregiver. Life, as I knew it, pretty much ended 4 years ago. You would think I would be used to it by now, but I still grieve in silence, every day, for what will never be.

I have an inherited illness which impacts my mobility, so I am disabled at times. I went from being a very active independent career mom to where I am now. It was a big adjustment for the whole family - and financially. My husband and kids have been phenomenal.

I have never been one to ask for help - I've always been very independent and more the giver in my relationships. So it has been very challenging for me to ask for help, let alone accept help from others.

Friends have not known how to handle it. Some feel so badly they just avoid you (don't like to see you like this), others pity you (which is a new sensation for me, which I don't like), and others want to play superhero and offer all this help which you don't need. I have never felt negative about friends before in my life - and I realized it's not their problem, it was mine. I wasn't being honest with any of them.

Oddly enough, I'm ok with having the illness, what I wasn't ok with was how I dealt with it socially. I'm embarrassed at times, I have had to learn to deal with being stared at. I've had to learn how to admit I can't do it all.

I think overall it's been a really good thing for me to learn - that I'm not perfect. That you can't be perfect. That you have to let go of all the things you thought mattered, and just be in the moment.

The friend thing ... I am still working on, but I've been a lot more honest with people lately. And it's been a lot better. People have been great. I just had to give them some credit and give them a chance.

:)

My biggest personal challenge is an eating disorder.

I'm 44 and have battled bulimia and anorexia my whole life. No one knew until I reached a dangerously low weight last year and almost died. I had to be hospitalized for 6 weeks. Now the whole world knows about my issues.

My problems stem from major control issues. I was raped at a young age and didn't tell anyone. I felt the need to gain back control. I could control my weight. I guess it's my nature, too, because I tend to control everything I can. Perfectionism is an issue for me, as well. The house must be spotless, my clothes must be just right, I always got As on everything, and so on. I do have body image issues, but I tend to have more trouble when life gets hectic (isn't it always?) and I feel a loss of control. Last year a friend died of cancer, my mother in law died suddenly in an accident, and my ex-step-father who is blind and who has MS had a major decline in health with many complications and I'm in charge of his medical care. It was all lot to handle and my eating disorder took over.

The positive side to this is that I am a very happy person who is surrounded by people who love and support me. My husband was incredible last year when my world was crumbling and I was hospitalized. He held our family together while I healed. I love my students, and I also have a network of close friends who genuinely care about each other. As challenging as life can be, I have so many things to be thankful for.

I've never reached the weight my doctors want me to, but I've gotten to a safe weight, and every morning I look at my husband and my children and see reasons for eating. I'm learning to count myself among those reasons, too.

Well right now it's a huge challenge for me to be a woman who left her husband after 22 plus years of marriage that looked (on the outside anyway) to be "ideal" in every way.
Have you ever dealt with your parents' split? I'm sure it was devastating for you, but do you have any idea what it meant to them?
Sometimes growth comes from looking back and realizing that the parents and other role models in our life weren't always perfect, they were human beings with problems and flaws, just like us.
Same thing with the drinking, I had some alcoholics in my family, my husband did too, but that didn't keep us from drinking and neither one of us ever developed a problem there.
I think if you are still at this point in your life having a hard time separating your childhood issues from your adult ones it might (?) be time to seek some therapy or counseling.

Recuperating from long surgery and learning that things I used to do may be in the past.

Working again full time but now I have a different perspective on life. Sometimes I do get tired and want to stay home and rest. The surgery was done about seven months ago and I feel like it has been 100 years ago but the body does not always want to cooperate with any kind of speed. The time change has been very hard this year and it was only one hour not 8 or 10 as in the past on a different continent.

Also, I am a caregiver to my husband who is able to function on his own. He does have moments where I have to help out and we do things together as a team.

There are days I wonder when to retire, where will I live, what will I do and how will I live out the remainder of my life with my own personal projects after hubby is gone.

So I try to live in the moment(s) and enjoy everything I do daily and the birds and bees around me.

the other S.

My parent's divorce has ripped my family apart so I would say that is the biggest challenge. Although it was years ago, the lasting scars never go away. Every family event still reminds us of the divorce. There is a lingering sadness that never goes away no matter how much therapy you get.

The family unit is so important to a child's psyche that there are long lasting effects well into adulthood. It doesn't mean we can't have a fulfilling and normal marriage...but it effects you forever.

When your parents do not speak to each other, you have siblings that won't speak to one parent...it makes for a very difficult road ahead to have peaceful family events.

Now, us four kids are having to help our mother with long term care decisions because the divorce ruined her financially and emotionally. She was never the same woman after our father left her with four kids to raise. It has painful to watch her deterioration. We have tried to encourage her to seek therapy but she won't. Sigh. So, we pick up the pieces and try our best to show her grace and love.

I am grateful that I have the time and means to help the woman who gave us life and stuck with us when the man she trusted and loved deserted us.

procrastination.
i swear it's a borderline mental illness for me!
khairete
S.

This has been a very thought provoking question, so thank you for posting this. While I won't be listing my personal challenges, there are many!, your question has really gotten me to think about all the things I've overcome, am currently working on, and even forced me to think of things I really need to work on in the future.

I've come back to this post several times today. Many have shared very personal things of what they are facing on a daily basis and I appreciate hearing their stories. Reading the posts made me realize that life sure can be tough and everyone has different challenges. Fortunately though everyone has things to be thankful for.

Patience.

Releasing control.

Loosening up on "perfection" as far as my house is concerned.

Organization!

I think mine is most obvious when it comes to math. I would get the hell beaten out of me by my parents while I was supposed to be doing homework.

I specifically remember working on memorizing my multiplication tables. My father was "helping me" and I got all the way to 6X8 and drew a blank. He got the belt out and started hitting me over and over and over screaming at me that I'd never forget what 6X8 was again.

He was right. My math skills stopped right then. I know that 6X8=48 but if asked what 7X8 is I have to mentally go 6X8 is 48 and 48 plus 8 is....48-49-50-51-53-53-54-55-56. All the times I'd practiced the multiplication tables before that incident made it where I could do basic math okay but it still to this day brings back memories of a child screaming for a parent to stop.

I made around 20 on every area of my SAT except math, which was a 7.

I went to college as a non traditional student later in life. Since I'd been out so long I had to go through evaluations to see where I needed to be placed.

I took a reading comprehension test. I finished the test, first one they'd ever have finish the entire test. Then they scored it. I was the first ever to make 100% on the reading comprehension.

Then I took the math evaluations. I flunked it big time. I think out of all of them I only answered 5 or 6. They put me in remedial math. I went in and the teacher asked me to take a test to see where they needed to place me.

It had simple math, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division plus decimals, fractions, etc....I tested OUT of every area that was basic math.

The professor came up to me and asked me why I was assigned to his class. I told him I didn't know. So he put me in beginning algebra. OMG!!!

I had no idea how to do that. I had no background in this at all and no openings in my brain to do this. How could I do math with fractions over fractions by counting 6X8 is 48 and 48 plus 8 is....48-49-50-51-53-53-54-55-56 and so forth.

I flunked it. Then I took it at OU, flunked it. Then I took it at OSU, flunked it.

I took it one more time but before I did I went into the counselors office and asked her if she knew how to get me evaluated for a learning disability. Secretly I was praying, chanting in my head, making all kinds of deals with God if I could get out of taking any math classes if I got an evaluation and was diagnosed with a learning disability.

My secret goal was to get diagnosed so they couldn't require me to take college algebra at all and maybe get out of taking college math. So I went to be evaluated.

The Dr. told me that my math skills were so deeply ingrained and I had buried them deep in my brain. So deep that new math skills had no way of making any associations with them so I could progress my skills any more. That I could take the classes but I shouldn't have to be stressed by them.

She recommended I try beginning algebra again and this time have untimed tests which meant I got to go to a testing area and I could sit there all day if I wanted to. I could even leave and come back the next day if I wanted to. I got a special tutor that worked with students with learning issues and she helped me figure out how I learned math. We came up with some good ideas and I passed beginning algebra with a B. When I went to take intermediate algebra my tutor had moved to a different college and I didn't know what the professor was even talking about.

As far as working in the real world my math is perfect. I have no issues with it at all. But if someone wants to talk to me about going back to go for a masters or something higher I freak because I know that would mean higher math.

So to answer your question. Doing homework with my dad as a child traumatized me to such a degree that I am unable to learn new math skills as an adult.

I feel like I am really fortunate. My childhood was terrible (abusive, mentally ill adults who never lived in one place for too long) however, I choose to find resources and make changes to help make life pretty darn good in the here and now.

My biggest challenge is not getting hooked in. I've overcome a lot, but when someone starts spouting BS or starts gaslighting people, I do get irritated and offended and should probably just walk away. Which is the better option, right? Reasonable people are able to see another person's perspective and so this is mostly avoidable. Perhaps it's a hangover from my childhood, the desire to call out those who lack empathy and who twist their perspectives and words to make themselves look right or blameless. I need to just keep my mouth quiet and walk away. Made me a lot happier when I did that with my own mother, so you'd think I'd learn from my successes! ;)

Probably physical anxiety. I pick things a lot and chew on the inside of my mouth. My inner cheeks are almost always painful, but I can't stop. I do it without realizing it. I really need to stop.

A few years ago I would have said my mother, but the things she does don't bother me as much as they used to. Well, most of the time.

My biggest personal challenge has always been disorganization. I am spectactularly challenged in this way - and envy people whose home is neat and beautiful.

I have constant pain head-to-toe, Fibromyalgia, PTSD, and manage a traumatic brain injury to name a few of my personal issues. I have been this way for over a decade so unfortunately all my children have known is me as I am now. That is one of the hardest things I have to deal with because of the various limitations I have I'm often not able to do as I would like to with my children or my family. I sit on the sidelines often and unfortunately allow life to pass. I'm working on this. Thankfully I have great support at home from my children and husband.

Personal challenges for me are many but things could always be worse and I'm very happy I can manage the way that I can. Life will always be filled with struggles for everyone but it's up to each individual how they choose to live it.

Normalcy is a fallacy and I refuse to live by society's paradigms.

My immediate family w/their issues. Let me preface by saying they are all
wonderful & I love them. We all come w/issues.
Yes, we can only be repsonsible for what we personally can control.

In addition, we can always work on ourselves.

Your life will be different than theirs.