Weekend Schedule of Siblings with Big Age Differences

Have the oldest help you clean.
Read stories to them both when ever you have a chance.
Activities can wait a few years - there's no rush.

That is not a big age difference. My middle two are nine years apart.

Still at five your oldest should know how to entertain themselves. I cleaned when the younger ones slept. Yes plural my fourth is two years younger than the third.

Children should not be so dependent on you that you don't have time the clean the house. Your house should be a mess because your kids are more efficient at making a mess than you are at cleaning when they play.

Cleaning: baby in the moby wrap, older child is a helper (my 5 year old likes to run the swiffer).

If the 5 year old wasn't ready for soccer that's ok. Give it, or Tball, or something else, another try next spring.

When they get older - ages 5 and 10 - weekends might be hectic if they each have their own activities. But we gravitate towards things they can both do: go to the pool, go on walks at a local park, the science center which has a great kids area. My younger spends a fair amount of time at his sibling's baseball games but that's ok too.

well, i guess the biggest difference for me (except i probably didn't have a high bar set for the house<G>) is that i never felt it was my job to keep a child busy, or meet their every need every second. nor did i keep much in the way of 'schedules' beyond what i needed to keep the family rolling with both parents working.
it's fine for alyssa not to take classes. but there are almost certainly one-time-only free things offered through libraries and boys and girls clubs and moms groups and other community events, so plug in and try one on for size every now and then. and try things in which alyssa has NOT expressed interest. 5 year olds don't always know what they like. strew the path with possibilities and so forth.
if your yard and pool are fenced, she should be able to play outside to some degree when you're up and around. i'm always sad to hear of kids being kept from outside play unless their parents are with them, unless they're in a very unsafe area. kids need to buck and snort, and most houses don't have the space available for them to do so as much as they need to.
when you need to clean, alyssa needs to entertain herself. for that matter, when you need to chill out and decompress, or attend to the baby, alyssa needs to entertain herself. you've mentioned a few times your concern over being able to keep her occupied. do alyssa the single greatest service you can do her as a mother and let her learn to keep herself occupied.
seriously.
no baby has 24/7 hands-on needs. put the baby on a blanket, or in a playpen, or wear her, and clean what needs to be cleaned.
my house was pretty chaotic when i had a 4 year old and a baby, and was never as pristine as i liked. but that was low on my priority list. make sure your expectations are realistic.
and try to get out every day and have adventures. it's wonderful for both kids to go for hikes or strolls or playgrounds, and that refreshes them enough so that when you get home you can turn your attention elsewhere briefly. and if it's a weekend (and your family has a fairly traditional schedule) it should include adventures with daddy! and also one-on-one girl time with daddy.
this is such a precious time. i'm having flashback envy.
:) khairete
S.

When my older son was three and my younger son was an infant we kept busy outside of the house as much as we could. We usually went on two or three outings a day coming home for meals (unless we were doing a day trip). The baby nursed, so he could eat wherever we went, and he learned to nap on the go, in the van, in the stroller, in a Snugli, in a shopping cart etc. Most outings were 2-3 hours in length. We got up in the morning, had breakfast and got dressed and went out. We would come home for lunch and head out again. When we got home it was nap time for baby, quiet time for the three year old (tv or a movie) and housework and making supper for me. After supper we would go out again, then home to get ready for bed and prepare for the next day. I could also do a little housework after I put the kids to bed.

Outings in the summertime could be any of the following: going swimming, going to the wading pool, playground, YMCA, library program, zoo, museum, childrens museum, nature preserve, playgroup, mall, grocery shopping, visiting friends etc. At least once a week we would do a full day trip to the beach or amusement park.

When my kids were little I found that by not spending a whole lot of time at home the house didn't need as much cleaning, and I also didn't worry about keeping it super clean.

Our kids have that same age range. At times it is challenging. My oldest is a boy and my youngest is a girl. When she was a baby during the day on weekends she tagged along to whatever we were doing. I held her while her brother did swim lessons and we watched. We would go to the library and I'd carry her around while helping her brother find books. During the week he was at school and when we would go to mommy n me or later to free toddler classes together. At age 5 my son loved to go outside and ride his bike with all the other kids in the culdesac. Or they would come over here and all play something like hide and seek. And I did schedule him a play date once a week with a couple of his good buddies that do not live in our neighborhood. I guess my son is about half a year older than your daughter bc he was staring Kindergarten when his sister was born. One thing that would work well for you is to join a moms group where you sit and have coffee and talk while all the kids play. You can just hold your baby or set her down on a blanket. We have a local community center where you can go any morning of the week and sit with other moms while the kids play on a small play structure or with the toys. Things will change once your daughter is in kindergarten! As for cleaning...I'd just put the baby down at times and do a little bit at a time. Does your daughter like to "help"? Some kids love to be given a rag and some water to help clean.

Kindergarten will help will all your issues. As far as cleaning, my oldest helped, we talked and I taught him at the same time. Sometimes nursery rhymes, sometimes letters, numbers, sometimes life subjects. Always different. When the baby was up we played with him.

My baby is on such a good sleep schedule, it's easy to clean while he naps. My daughter is 7, so it's a bit of a different age difference, but she helps with cleaning (picks up her room, rinses dishes, etc. I don't let her do anything with the chemicals yet.) or will watch a movie or read a book. She also likes to help with the baby, like if I've laid him on the floor on his little activity mat or in his bouncer, she'll talk to him and gently play tug of war with his toys. (he's 3 months.) Also, I'll put him in his bouncy seat and set it in the doorway while I clean bathrooms or whatever and narrate what I'm doing.

On the weekend he does what we do. We stop when it's time for him to have a bottle, but he sleeps in his stroller or whatever if we want to go to the zoo or something.

I don't think 5 year olds need structured outside activities that cost money. They often don't have the staying power, and you wind up wasting money on stuff they lose interest in. So don't apologize for that. She did the rec program and that got her used to her new building, so that's great. You already do parks and library, which are terrific - she can have free play and find some books and maybe do story hour or whatever else the library offers. Definitely do free stuff at this age!

While the weather is good, put the baby in the stroller at the times the baby is most likely to nap or at least be curious and pleasant. Take the 5 year old on nature walks and collect interesting treasures - we spent a lot of time stenciling interesting leaves and washing & painting rocks! We made bird feeders out of pine cones and peanut butter and seed.

You're right that she will meet friends in kindergarten and you can schedule some playmates, but don't overdo that. And don't put pressure on her right now to pick out friends - the school day will be plenty of stimulation for her! Let the friendships develop slowly since she will have a big class with lots of children and names to learn. But she can go to another child's house, or a friend can come to you, and you can supervise while feeding the baby or putting the baby in for a nap. Look into craft activities and maybe some additional toys at yard sales. A second bike might be more than you want to get into, but sometimes a small scooter and helmet give you flexibility.

Clean the house? HA! You don't! You scale back your expectations, you shut some bedroom doors, you try to manage the more public areas of the house, and you get some baskets or bins for tossing in whatever's scattered on the floor for a quick pick-up. You do a lot after the kids go to bed at night. But a 5 year old can sort clean socks or fold her own underwear, put her lunch box on the counter and throw away her own trash or put her snack/sandwich containers in the sink to soak. You make things a team effort with any kids and spouses who happen to be around. And you go easy on yourself - if everyone has scrambled eggs for supper now and then, fine.

Good luck!

I'd tell the oldest to go play in her room with her toys because her toys are dangerous for the baby. SO they wouldn't be allowed out of her room in any way.

It's pretty easy to get a Kindergarten age child to go play. If they can't play outside then they should be well versed in playing inside in their room.

Weekends we have 6 activities on Saturday alone between all the kids. A new baby would sleep, so that's pretty easy. Our baby is older so does have to be home for naps. Most stuff is in morning. It takes 3 adults to get them all where they need to be. The 5-year-old has soccer and swimming weekends.

I do laundry, dishes, etc. all day, it seems. The kids just play, I guess. Or the baby explores. Cleaner every few weeks to do the small things that REALLY need to get done, like scrubbing toilets and showers.

No play dates. Another child is the house gets too chaotic, and they all compete to play with him/her.