My husband's friend's daughter got married and we did not go to the wedding but were invited. The guys are casual friends and see each other in a group setting about yearly. We did go to their other daughter's wedding a couple years ago and of course we gave a gift. The question is, should we send a gift if we did not go? We've met this daughter on a couple of occasions but do not know her well. If so, what would you send? I was thinking of a $50 gift certificate. Around here, gifts to weddings seem to be about $100-$200 if you attend. It's hard because my husband has this large group of high school friends that get together occasionally and they all have kids getting married. Are we setting a standard if we send to one? I doubt we'll go to all the weddings.
Thanks for the input! We'll be sending a $50 gift certificate for a store where she registered. And at least, when we see her parents, we won't feel like cheapskates and they won't feel like we ignored the fact that their daughter got married.
I would not send a gift card that was more expensive than the other girls gift.
I think if you gave a gift to the sister then you should not snub this daughter. They will talk about it and the one will think you don't like her but like her sister more.
Send her a gift card of some sort or a cash gift so they can spend it where ever and on whatever they want.
Yes, you need to send a gift.
According to Emily Post:
"If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. If you hear from family that the couple would prefer a charitable donation—as in the case of an older couple or an encore wedding—please respect their wishes. If you receive an announcement after the wedding has taken place, you may send a gift if you wish, but you have no obligation to do so. It is nice to acknowledge the announcement with a card or a note expressing your best wishes."
Yes you should send a gift. I think a $50 gift card is great. I would probably pick the place she registered and give it to there, but I'm sure anything would be appreciated. Since you didn't go to the wedding, I think that is enough money, but even if you did, you honestly have to do what is within your means.
Yep.. Send a gift...a check or a gift card to where they are registered.
Since this is someone who is your husband's friend and you attended the wedding of his other child, it would be nice if you sent a card and gift. $50 would be more than reasonable since you didn't attend the wedding and I'm sure you sent polite regrets. Why not check their wedding registry and see if there is something nice, in your price range, that they didn't receive. you can have it shipped directly to them. Your husband's friend will appreciate the gesture.
No, if you didn't go to the wedding you are NOT obligated to send a gift. An invitation does NOT obligate you. Would it be "nice" of you to send a gift? Of course but honestly, we don't send along gifts to anything that we don't attend unless it's for immediately family (my brothers, his sisters, their kids, our parents).
My vote is to not send them anything except a congratulations card. If you feel obligated to send something with it, then send them a $25 gift card to Target or something. I wouldn't spend much.
Agree that it is not obligatory, but a nice gesture. So your $50 gift cert. should be just perfect and appropriate.
@Charlotte, yes. You are a little off base.
Personally,I don't understand why you were invited to the wedding at all! I am always amazed when someone gets an invitation and you don't even know the bride or groom. If you are good friends with the parents and see them SEVERAL times a year, it is a bit more understandable but as your post indicated, your husband sees her father once a year.
I simply don't understand this. I think it is all about asking for gifts at that point, which I find incredibly tacky.
We recently received a wedding invitation for the daughter of an acquaintance of ours and do know the daughter but haven't seen or heard from her in at least five years, except for once at a soccer game. Her wedding is 6 hours away from our home and we have no intention of going. I also do not have any intention of sending a gift. We would, however, attend their other daughter's wedding and send a gift as my husband coached that daughter and she is a friend of our daughters.
I always think that when wedding invites show up and we haven't seen or heard from that person in a long time (or don't really know them) that the bride/groom are being greedy. Am I off base here?
