Weaning and Breaking Bad Habbit.

If you want to make a change because you don't like the situation the way it is, that's one thing. But you haven't done anything wrong. This isn't a bad habit and you didn't "cause" this. Your baby is only 9 months old. It's perfectly normal for him to want to nurse at night. It's perfectly normal for him to prefer co-sleeping. You haven't done anything wrong, and letting things continue the way they are is ok, too. Our boys co-slept with us until they were about 18 months, and after that they were still welcome to come into our bed in the middle of the night.

If there is another bed in the house, you can sleep with your son there. That might help you all get a good night sleep. You could also put your son in his own bed at the beginning of the night and then bring him to bed with you when he first wakes.

Unless you are drunk or on drugs, you are not going to roll over onto your son. That is a myth that is very believable, but it really is a myth. People are actually much more aware at night than you might think, and unless you are somehow impaired, you really are not going to roll over onto your son. Do you roll over and try to roll onto your husband at night? I realize your son is smaller, but it really is extremely unlikely.

Relax. You haven't done anything wrong. There are other things you can try, but it's very important for you to know that you haven't done anything wrong, this isn't a bad habit and loving and comforting your baby is never a bad thing.

A really good book to read is "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She has lots of great, gentle ideas that you can try to help your son sleep on his own - if that's what you want. Again, what you are doing is ok. But if it isn't working for you, it's ok to want something different.

breastfeeding is NOT a bad habit.

you did not cause a problem by breastfeeding your baby.

start there. you are going to HELP your baby move onto the next phase by weaning him, but he isn't doing something wrong by wanting to nurse. that's a pervasively toxic attitude that will seep into your weaning efforts and taint your handling of the process.

he's just a tiny person who is comforted by the breast. not a bad baby or a baby with a bad mom or a breast addict.

weaning is a process. do it in small increments. you can crash course it and hasten the process, but it will be much more difficult and traumatic for everyone.

it's not 'worse' to have a family bed. but if you don't want that, then that's the place to start. start laying him down in his crib while he's awake, so the crib doesn't become the awful place where he's left alone. don't play with him actively and get him laughing and worked up, just lay him down and smile at him, rub him, sing softly to him. don't expect him to sleep there right away. if you want, move to recliner for naps so that he starts to get used to sleeping somewhere other than the bed. start introducing other comfort items. a pacifier if you don't object to them, or a woobie, perhaps a blanket that you have slept with so smells like you.

keep offering the bottle, especially when he's truly hungry (not just looking for comfort.)

most of all, remember he's a baby. he will cycle through phases very rapidly for the next couple of years.

good luck.
khairete
S.

Look, you can sleep with your child and nurse everytime he wants to nurse, but yes, it's a habit you've created. However, he hasn't needed to nurse all night long since he was very small, and the ped would have told you that if you had asked. What new infants need isn't what 9 month olds need, and now you need to figure out what to do to help your entire family.

I answered your other post before I realized you are the same person here. Same advice. Whatever you do try, you have to stick with it 100% consistently, or it won't work and it will make things harder for the baby AND you and your husband.

Does he take a soother? I used to offer a soother in between feeds. I co-slept with my last and loved it. I would have with the others had I known had wonderful it was. Don't feel bad. It's a lovely experience.

I transitioned my baby to the crib around 6 months and I slept on the floor for about a week. I used to just get up and soothe her, like rub her back or shoooosh, and that was it. She just needed to know I was there. I had a Fisher Price aquarium (soothing sounds, water feature) and that would go on, and she would fall asleep. I did that at the same time as I weaned.

When I weaned my babies, I would get up super early (maybe even 530 am) and gave them a huge feed (was engorged) and then they'd sleep till maybe 7 am and get up for the day. I would put them down around 1030 pm. So it was a short night - but that counted for me as a night. Over time, it would become 7 pm - 6 am.

I did the cry it out method with my first and it worked, but I didn't enjoy it at all. Neither did he. I did a variation with my others, which was put them down much more tired (the later bedtime) and I went in when they were just needing reassurance and just shooooshed, until they were almost asleep again, and I only ever needed to go in the once during the night. It only lasted a night or two at most.

The later bedtime for us was the key. Sometimes they'd have a cat nap in the evening but that was ok. I just went with their schedules - not the other way around.

Come back here for support and let us know how it goes :)

I liked this article when I was night weaning: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
And your baby is very young, only 8 months old, and should breastfeed for at least the next 4 months. Don't rush this.