Weaning an Almost-2 Year Old

Good for you for nursing so long! I also nursed my daughter a long time due to a dairy allergy and my son due to severe reflux issues. There certainly are challenges to weaning toddlers especially when they really love the experience. I weaned my daughter at two and now I am in the final days of weaning my 28 mo old son. My kids did not accept the "getting too old" idea either and didn't develop a lovey attachment until they could no longer rely on nursing for comfort. Here's what I did. Maybe you will find some ideas that work for you. I weaned in stages so the experience wasn't too stressful for me or the kids. First, eliminate as many opportunities to nurse during the day as possible. Morning is the easiest to eliminate. Plan a fun activity or a trip out first thing in the am as a distraction. Stay out of the house and away from the places you normally nurse. Even nap in the car for a few days if necessary. Next, tackle the bedtime routine. I switched the order of my routine by nursing/rocking with the lights on and then laying in bed for storytime and backrubs after. By nursing first they were calm enough to handle the switch. Try to shorten the length of the nursing session each night. Then one night we just skipped the nursing and went straight to storytime. Don't try to eliminate any nighttime sessions until the new no-nursing bedtime routine is a solid habit. Nighttime nursing is the hardest to eliminate and I found no other way than to say no and tolerate the crying. In about a week both my kids stopped asking and found other ways of soothing. One last trick that worked for me was to buy some of those large square bandaids ( the kind you put on a skinned knee)and put them over my nipples. Then I just made a huge big deal about my "ouchy boo boos". My son totally bought that story and since he couldn't get them off accepted the switch away from bedtime nursing much more easily (and I wasn't tempted to give in either). Be persistant. It's not a tear-free process but if you work in stages it won't be overwhelming. When it is over your little girl will surprise you with her ability to soothe herself. Good luck!

Don't tell her its going to end bc that scares her. Instead makew a rule about only nursing in her room so you can't nurse her outside. Then after a few weeks or days depending on you both, tell her that you will only nurse her when she wakes up in the morning. If u still need to for nap or bed, then do so but tell her you have little milk so can only nurse for a minute but you will read her any book she wants instead. Then eventually stop one of the sleep associated feedings. I was bf'ing my 2 year ols girl only when she woke in the morning (then anyone can put her to sleep) this went on for the last month or so before I told her I have no more milk and started giving her chocolate milk (with lactaid) for breakfast. She was also allowed juice if she preferred for a month or so bc it helped transition.
You have to tell her u don't have the milk bc the longer u feed the more u produce milk and cold turkey would be painful for you (engorgement) so your daughter + your body both need to take it slow and cut back one feeding at a time.

Oh, also for the nap feeding--try to not be home and she can nap in car or stroller!
You can do it. Don't be mean to her and threaten to stop. It scares her that she will lose this amazing bond u creayted for her. So make it seem like her idea. Ask her if she sees any big kids nursing...give her a present when she can wean.

Hi E.,

I am going through it right now with my 20 month old daughter. It is not easy but the step by step method seems to be working. I managed to cut out her daytime nursing and am shortening the length of her morning & night nursing. I tell her that nursing is broken so she can't nurse or if it is at night then she can only nurse for a little while. Naps are hard right now, but she is starting to get the hang of it... It is actually sort of cute when she pats my breast and says "broken" in a sad voice.

I have also heard Moms have put band aid on their nipple and shown it to the child and said that mama was hurt - that would probably work for cold turkey...

If you want I can let you know how it goes... let me know.

J.

hi there
that's about when i weaned my son too. we were down to once (or so) in the night, naptime, bedtime and when he woke up. i actually stopped during the night first b/c i really needed a good night's sleep. he was sleeping with us, and there was some fussing, but i was nice (and firm) and he started to fall back to sleep and it went ok. as others have mentioned i dropped one at a time (starting with the naptime nursing) until i was down to the morning nurse only. when i stopped nursing him to sleep, i instead read him a special story in the glider by his new bed, (which was also introduced shortly after losing the night-time nurse,) and got help from his dad helping/soothing him to sleep. the first time he came to my bed for his morning nurse, and i reminded him there was no more nunu (as he called it), we snuggled a bit, he fussed a little bit and he trotted off to play, while i cried a little in bed and marveled that that was that!
granted... this took me 6 months;) once the night time nursing was done though, the other times (nap, morning and bedtime) i didn't mind so much, so i wasn't in a rush. i know what you mean about feeling exhausted. it's a long time to go with broken sleep! it can feel hard to believe, but she will respond to your just holding her once she knows that nursing is not for her anymore. i wish i could remember the phrase i used! it wasn't even that long ago;)
best of luck.

It's fine to still be breastfeeding at bedtime. If it's the only nursing of the day, there is no real way to wean gradually. Either you nurse then or you don't. My suggestion if you want to stop is to get dad involved in the bedtime routine and then let him take over. If need be, go to the library, the gym or Starbucks at bedtime so that she learns that bedtime is now daddy time and nursing is not available. You may be telling her she's too old but you are continuing to breastfeed - and it's up to you to to stop if you want to stop. You can control the situation if you wish to. You can't make her be calm and okay about it, she may or may not be and you need to make the decision whether you would rather continue nursing or stop and deal with whatever the impact is. Good luck!

Hi there erika, i had The same problem, i tought at one point that i would have to nurse my 15 month old forever!! I did it until a month ago! Nothing worked until i put hot pepper in my nipples(chipotle picante to be exact) i was resisting to take such a drastic method, but she is off and did not want them anymore after acouple of times,it was really hard but believe me in tríed EVERYTHING else possible, good luck maybe u want togive it a shot, maybe not! It worked for me!!!! And she was exclusive breastfeed up to that point.

For some women 2 year old is too old to be nursed, but other mothers don't. For her she needs soothing and relaxing time and this is the way, nursing with a blanket. Well, I know that eating parsley will reduce the breastmilk and if ther is nothing there over time, she may not want to but at the same time, somoen's suggesting to have dad take over for bed time sounds like a good idea, but I didn't read the rest of the suggestions from others. I hope it works out for you and for her. All children do well and thrive on routine that is the same so that is okay but you should make a gradual change and not all at once since that is too difficult for her. Make it so gradual and be patient when you do that too. :)

i was nursing my 2 yo when i was pregnant, so i was telling her that mommy's hurt ( i really was in pain) and that i would cuddle with her instead and sing her a song... eventually after about a month she was nursing only for a minute each time before & after sleep, i would offer her a sippy cup with water or juice and sometimes she excepted and eventually she stopped asking , she never cried, she was able to understand, i guess.

E.-

I am a mother of three. I nursed all three of my kids. I am not in or have ever been in your situation but I have gone through obviously the period of weaning. I weaned from beast to bottle, and from breast to sippy cup and nursed 9-11 months for each child. Just wanted to give a couple thoughts. I have a friend who went through the same thing. The biggest thing is YOU have to be ready to wean her, because let's face it she is 2, ohh and I know 2 it is a tough time but you are the one who is in control, until you are ready to make the commitment to do it, it will never happen and consistency is the key. I have two thumb suckers and my 2 1/2 year old who has a pacifier that he only gets at night, and I am about to go through a lot taking it away, but we are ready and have been preparing him for it by warning him verbally it is coming after Halloween. He is a middle child and I am ready for a tough battle, but I know it is better for him. My friend whom I spoke of that went through the same thing as you talked to me about it and I just had to keep coaching her to go cold turkey and it worked for her and it only was two nights of letting her cry and she was like why did I worry so much about it if I did it sooner I would had been free. Not saying it is the same for you but The cold turkey approach trust me does and can work but YOU need to have the personality to suffer through it, because you know it is the best thing for her, you might be surprised how quickly it works.
I produced milk like mad and in the end I even had a hard time pumping yet 2-4 ounces a feeding. Have you ever pumped to see how much milk she is actually getting you might be surprised she might only get 2 ounces so it is more about the sucking/soothing why she still does it. God bless you for getting up at night but it is not healthy for you or your child, you both need sleep. You are going to need a strong husband because he has to really help. He should be the one to try and soothe her at night when she wakes and then you are going to have to let her cry, it is OK to do that. I had a hard time with the cry it out method so I did the one where you let them cry 5 minutes then your HUSBAND goes in and tells her its OK does not stay long and says go back to sleep, then let her cry 10 minutes same thing with your husband, then 15-20 and hopefully it ends by then. He also should be the one that for awhile puts her to bed some keep your routine whether it be bath and book or whatever, and make sure he is the one that puts her to bed till you get her past the hump. During the day you are going to just have to say no and keep reiterating she is too old to be nursing and she is a big girl and needs to start drinking from a cup. can you buy a few new special toys and hide them and pull one out after explaining she is not nursing to distract the situation. You could keep a secet stash of puzzles/games to get her again over the hump. Does she drink from a cup? Maybe you could warm a juice in the Nubby sippy cup for during the day. it is a great transition from breast to sippy cup, they sell them at walmart and they are cheap. Again I think I am writing to you to give you the courage to take control and say no and stay consistent. She is 2 again, all the crying in the world should not make you cave unless you yourself is not ready. Good luck!!! Sincerely, K.

I would start with getting rid of all nursing except
bedtime and am. Then the AM then the bedtime. If she
does not do well, go cold turkey. Your life for several
days might not be great, but in the end you have
achieved your goal.

E.,

Not what you want to hear, but it is what I know and have been following. If you don't get anything other responses than just go cold-turkey, then this might be for you and your daughter.

If you let her, she'll wean herself. It will take some time, and more than likely some visits with friends who don't nurse their toddlers. That is the only way I can see her weaning without distrusting you and learning new and unacceptable ways of showing her needs are not being met.

As you pointed out, showing her what other people do doesn't make a difference to her (telling her she's too old for it).

I haven't read your responses, so I don't know what you've received. I know you are tired and HEAR that, so much. I am tired too. What I am doing is banking up on naps and extra sleep when I can. 5-10 minutes with my feet up reading a book to my son works wonders when I can't get true sleep.

I do hope you find the solution you want. If you don't, I hope this works in its stead.

Good luck,
M.

I weaned my daughter about 3 months ago and I thought it would be awful. She loved to nurse. I was pregnant and due in July and wanted to stop nursing my oldest since I would be in the hospital recovering from a c section. The first thing we stopped was the nursing on demand. This was the hardest to stop. I just tried to distract her with toys or cuddles or her pacifier. Then during naps and bed time she would nurse but also drink a sippy cup of milk. After a few weeks we stopped the bedtime nurse. It was easier to stop that one because my husband could put her down we started with me nursing her and then my husband would pit her to bed with the milk. She was fine with it. Then one weekend we did the same for naps. I thought she would be really upset. I cried but she was totally fine! Good luck with everything! I hope you find something that works for you guys:)

Hi E.,
I weaned my daughter at 26 months due to another pregnancy. It was a little difficult... I was ready and I didn't think she was, but she took it in stride at the end. First, try to get down to a before the bed nursing only ( or drop which ever one is easiest) for us we did it slowly. We stayed busy during nursing times and made a rule that we could only nurse in her chair which eliminated nursing while out of the house or while playing.
Its good that you guys have a bed time routine but your daughter needs to learn to be flexible too. We started skipping nursing when we would come home later than usual, and Daddy would just do bedtime. She didn't always like it but she adapted and now she can do bedtime with one or both of us and she is okay with it! We can be pretty protective of our routine at times, but now we understand that it is also good to teach kids adaptability.
For us the before bedtime nursing was the last to go. One day I simply told her mommies milk was broken. She understood this and was okay skipping , she did continue to ask every day for about a week and we talked about it a lot to help her adjust; (she would tell everyone who would listen that mommy's milk was broken or had boo boo's) but she was okay with it because she could understand that things break sometimes. I have heard of women who put a bandaid over each nipple so their kids have a visual understanding that mom's milk is hurt or broken. A friend of mine weaned at 2 by telling her son he was a big boy now and that he would get a special vitamin instead of milk... she really talked up the vitamin and got him really excited about weaning.
I hope this helps and Good Luck!

congrats on nursing so long! My girlfriend had this similar situation and what she did was go cold turkey. She went away for the weekend alone..it was hell for her hubby for 2 days but it worked.