Advice on Weaning Almost One Year Old from Breastfeeding

My son turned 1 year almost a month ago and that's when I began the weaning process. I was nursing/pumping for 4 sessions a day (am, morning snack/meal, afternoon snack and dinner). Gave him about an ounce of whole milk (though now my doctor said they are recommending 2% b/c of the obesity problem) to see how he'd respond and he did fine. So, I started with the afternoon feeding first. I figured if I was uncomfortable, then at least I would still be able to nurse him for dinner. Took a couple days for my body to adjust, so in another week, I took away the morning meal and just nursed for breakfast/dinner. I then took the night feeding away. I was uncomfortable for a couple nights...the pain woke me up a few times, but again was fine in a couple days. So, now I'm down to getting rid of the morning feeding. I tried one day, but by the night time was engorged and started to feel blockages forming. I tried some cabbage leaves that night and woke up a bit better in the morning. I still nursed him because I didn't want to be at work and uncomfortable. So, I guess I'm going to get rid of that last feeding by nursing every other day, then every two days, etc.

I do get acupuncture treatments and my acupuncturist just told me there's an herb to help deal with engorgement. I haven't tried it yet, but he's working on getting some for me. If you're interested, I could give you some feedback once I try it.

On another note, I do seem to have some problems with my son taking the cup. He's always had a bottle at daycare and for over a month we've tried working with the cup with him. However, lately, he's been throwing the cup and refusing to drink the milk. I think it's a combination of getting teeth, weaning, the bottle being easier AND possibly the milk being colder. Just trying to play around with each one of these ideas with each feeding trying to see how it will go. Getting a little nervous, which is why I haven't truly let go of that last nursing session (just want to have it to make sure he getting SOMETHING each day!). So if you can, try to introduce smalls changes....use the frozen breast milk b/c it's best and introduce the cup. Once he's used to that, try going towards regular milk.

Anyhow, sorry for the rambling...just going through the same thing right now, so I thought it could help. Good-luck and CONGRATS on getting rid of the pump!

Its sounds like nursing right now for the two of you is a bonding time. He gets his real meals now from the table. So sounds like you need to find a way to replace breastfeeding bonding time for something else. Personally my son was nursing a short time three times a day but not really super interested. So I just stopped and found a cup he likes which was a straw cup. Not everyone can adjust that way. Is he drinking other fluids during the day like juice, water, whole milk? Has he been introduced yet to a sippy cup or straw cup? Maybe the first step in the transition could be just getting him up and reading a book together in the rocking chair and then breastfast all together at the table with a bottle, sippy cup etc. of breastmilk, whole milk what ever you want? During this time I was going to miss breastfeeding more than my son :) Trust your instincts, a mother's gut is always right. One thing at a time. Good luck, sounds like you are a good mom :)

Hi K.,
I think weaning might sound harder than it is most of the time or maybe I got lucky. My first was still nursing five times a day at one year and I actively weaned him over an eight week period (I had to drop a lot more than you do). My second (14 mos) is still nursing 1st thing in the am and at the start of bedtime routine - but that works for me - I was ready to stop the first time. I would stop pumping first to ease up on supply. then, it sounds like the 3pm nursing is not an everyday thing. That would probably be the easiest to drop and I offered milk to mine each time to fill the space. If he doesn't seem to need the milk, you may want to find something else to do so he's not looking for milk at that time - take a walk, color, run errands, etc. I found the first and last of the day take the longest - which is his favorite? Drop that one last (with mine it was morning). At night, I found that when I changed the nighttime routine - where I sat even - did the trick. We gave him a cup of milk in the living room and then did the rest of the usual routine - pjs, books, bed in his room (before it was pjs, milk, books, bed all in his room). With the morning one, I got lucky - he just walked to the kitchen for his milk one morning instead of to the chair for me. However, taking him right in for breakfast at the point when you usually nurse might be worth a try. Maybe someone else will have a better suggestion for that last one. Good luck!

Congratulations on your success with breastfeeding and especially combining working and breastfeeding.! You show all mothers that it can be done quite successfully.

It sounds like weaning is something you have decided is right for you. It often is a very emotional process. If you truly want to wean it is best to gradually replace one feeding at a time with solids or a cup.
After your son adjusts to one subsitute feeding, a second feeding is replaced with a substitute, usually at the opposite time of day. Then eventually you are left with nursing in the am and pm and many mothers continue to want this to go on way past one year due to how easy it makes life. However, if you want to completely wean you would continue in the same way. If you begin to stop pumping that one time during the day your supply will also decrease slowly and will help with weaning.

There is no absolute pattern that must be followed as far as which feeding to cut out first and replace with a subsitute. Which one is easier for you and your son?

I hope that you find this information helpful and remember if you decide that weaning is not right for you or your son - remember LOTS of people breastfeed beyond one year. It is an individul decision. You have been a superb mom my breastfeeding for the first year and whatever YOU and your son decide is right for you IS the right decision!!!
P Jones, IBCLC
www.breastfeedingservice.com

There are different ways to do it. On a personal note, I wanted my daughter to learn how to go to sleep without me/my breast, so I had my husband start giving her a bottle of pumped milk at bedtime. I knew I would have to work some nights and wouldn't be there, so it was a good time to get her used to a bedtime routine that didn't include breastfeeding (or mom). She took to it surprisingly well. From there she sort of self-weaned because she ended up liking the bottle A LOT. She still wanted to suckle from time to time but it wasn't enough to keep my supply. I still miss those mornings when I could lay in bed for a while after waking up, and breastfeed her, sometimes we would go back to sleep. Oh, those were the days! now we're up and at 'em by 6am. I'd hold on the that morning feeding for a while if I were you, but honestly it's all about what works best for YOU and your BABY! Best of luck.

K.,

When I started to wean I cut out the 'non-nap' nurse first. I figured if my daughter wasn't going for a nap she didn't need to nurse and I replace that nurse with a snack. I didn't have expressed milk stored so she went straight to cow's milk in her sippy cup. I'm not sure why you would pump a missed nursing session if you are trying to wean. Is the idea just to stop nursing your son and still provide the breastmilk for him or is it to stop nursing all together?
The next nursing session I cut out was the morning nurse. For us it was interfering with her breakfast. So for her anytime after 5am she can't nurse. These 2 have been easy for us.
However, the nurses associated with sleeping have been the most difficult. I am still working on her with this. Although it may be easier for you and your son. I think it really depends on the child weather a particular session is more important to them or not.
I would say cut out one nursing session at a time. Make sure your son is OK with it before you move onto the next one.

Good luck,
L. M

Hi, I've nursed 3 kids and I think the afternoon maybe the first one to take away from him. What I did w/ my extra frozen milk was I mixed it in the oatmeal, cereal or creme of wheat if your child consume those products.

I just weaned my 12.5 month old daughter & can tell you what worked for us (did the same thing with my son 2 yrs ago). We started replacing her afternoon nursing with a bottle of whole milk (I stopped pumping a while ago & used up all frozen milk first). After about 1.5 wks of her getting used to the whole milk, we replaced her morning nursing with milk. Again we waited about 2 weeks and finally replaced her bedtime feeding with milk this past Sunday. She put up a fight in the beginning, but by the time we replaced her bedtime feeding she was fine. Its very emotional for me since she is most likely our last baby, but it was time.

Best of luck!
J.

It sounds like you are on the right track already. He takes a bottle and sippy cup, so it should be easier than you think to make the switch. I would cut out the 3 pm breastfeeding session first. Giving him your frozen milk in a cup for this feeding will probably be your easiest transition. Then, I would cut out the early morning nursing, as babies are usually easily distracted by toys and your attention in the a.m. when they aren't tired. The nightime nursing might be the hardest to kick, but if you give him a bottle and the same bedtime routine as you did when nursing, it probably won't be that traumatic for him or for you.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to wean a one-year-old; just do what feels best for you and your baby. At one year he should be getting at least three bottles of whole milk a day anyway, so you aren't depriving him nutritionally.

I weaned my daughter at nine months and my son at fifteen and neither one gave my a hard time, so I could be overly optimistic. Good luck!

A. G.

Slowly start dropping feedings. Start w/ the afternoon one first and about a week later drop which everyone isn't the most important to your son. If he needs it to fall asleep you could try the morning one first or the night one and then morning. The before bed and first thing in the morning are the hardest ones because they are special for both you and your son so replace the feedings w/ something just as special like a story some extra cuddle time.

Hi K.,

I think the most important thing is to move from nipple to cup, so do not give a bottle. You could try cutting out every other usual nursing time and offering a cup instead so you won't become engorged. Do this for a week, than drop all of the day time nursing and only nurse at bedtime and then, of course, drop the bedtime nursing.

I know, I let my children self wean and they were usually done by 14 months, rejecting me in favor of being active and eating on the go!

J. L.

Hi K.,
I would try to drop the afternoon feeding first and then maybe a week later choose either the morning or night (I dropped night first but I know some babies prefer to help them fall asleep). Whenever you drop one, replace it with the sippy cup. You might want to wait on using your breast milk in the sippy cup until he masters using it so you don't "waste" that milk! For us, that took about 2 weeks. Maybe about 2 weeks later you can drop that final feeding. Good for you for keeping it up so long - I'm down to once a day for my 8 month old!

In terms of conlicting advice, I'm sure that will happen again as you read through responses here. Just choose one that feels right to you - there's not really a right or wrong answer and you'll know what seems right for both of you! Good luck!

I had to use completely opposite techniques to wean my two children so far, so that could be part of the conflicting advice you're getting. With my daughter, we gradually cut out feeds and my husband switched over to doing her bedtime routine to cut out the bedtime feed. We tried to do the same with my son, but he got really upset every time we cut out a feeding and when my husband switched over to doing his bedtime routine. So we wound up going cold turkey but with me still cuddling him at bedtime, and for him it was actually much less traumatic. I just pumped and dumped the extra milk the first day or two, because I was afraid that if I gave it to him in a sippy cup it would just remind him that he wasn't breastfeeding any more. I did give my daughter milk in a sippy cup a few times after she was officially weaned, but she had been taking it from a sippy cup for most of her life, while my son always refused to take pumped milk. My daughter got over being weaned within a couple days; for my son it took about a week before he stopped asking to nurse.

Good luck!

I found it easiest to eliminate the daytime feedings first, when I could distract my child with the daily goings-on. I gave a sippy of milk along with her meals. I was lucky and she didn't really resist. I know other moms that had to really make an effort to distract their babies from BFing during the day.

I kept the morning and bedtime feedings for a while after that. It was easiest for me. But in the end, I just ...stopped.

It's easier to drop a feeding at a time rather than "cold turkey".

You can replace the feeding with a snack, but I'd wait to see if he asks for anything to eat/drink first. And yes, you can put your frozen milk in a sippy.

I did what a previous poster also did. I would drop one feeding at a time. After about a week, I dropped another. When I was dropping the nursing, all his bottles were pumped milk. Then a few weeks after I totally finished nursing I started giving a bit of milk mixed with pumped breastmilk in his bottles. Gradually I'd increase the amount of milk to breastmilk and within a few weeks, he was on all cow's milk.

As far as replacing a nursing session, you could offer a bottle/sippy cup with pumped milk. I found my son didn't always take it. In the morning, you might want to start a new tradition like reading some books in bed with a sippy cup to replace the nursing. You could do something similar at night too. Or have him play with a new toy during a typical nursing time and he'll probably forget all about it. Most of the time, my son didn't necessarily need a bottle in place of nursing (esp if your son is already eating 3 meals a day).

The very last time I nursed him I made sure it was a nice session. I talked to him, saying he was getting older and would be eating/drinking big boy food now etc. It was a little ridiculous but honestly acknowledging that it was the last time really helped me close the book on it. From that next non-nursing day on, I didn't look back. If I got reminiscent I'd just think I nursed him for one year, it was great and now it's time for him to move on nutritionally.

From my experience, I'd recommend cutting back one nursing session at a time. You could start with the one right before bed - offer a sippy cup or bottle instead. We used 3/4 breast milk 1/4 formula or regular milk, gradually moving to 50/50, then 25/75, etc. Once that's been accepted axe the morning one. Just cuddle and sing or play with a favorite music toy, or if you have to, get up and start the day (ugh!). Once this is the new tradition you can then move on to the day-time feeding. I didn't do it this way, I cut the day-time ones first and then the night and finally the am. I don't recommend this order, especially if yours really enjoys the nursing session. This way when you're denying them at night you can reference the am one, then as that goes, you can say 'later on today we'll do that'. Once you're in the middle of the day there are so many other things to distract with, it's definitely the easiest to give up.
We lucked out, and our little guy let it go with almost no fuss. I was dreading the weaning process, I felt just like your description above, and it turned out to be no big deal at all. It was a gradual-enough process (about 3 weeks, total) that my body adjusted completely, I had no discomfort, engorgement, etc. I was so relieved, it was just like a natural evolution - whew! FYI, though, one of my friends didn't escape so easily, I actually saw her two year old chasing her around the room trying to pull her shirt up and unhook her bra yelling "nursie" REALLY loud. It would have been comical if it wasn't so disturbing. She would do this while they were out, too....