I planned a pool playdate for this week in my development. This required putting in a guest list for those who don't live here.
I switched the original date from Thursday, due to an interview, and made the playdate for today. Some people responded that they couldn't make it, and one person said they would "probably" come. To be safe, I just put everyone outside the development on the guest list.
So DD and I go there when it opens and nobody showed. No big deal since I did change the date. We stayed almost 1.5 hours and then left. I was exhausted and she was too.
Five minutes after I got home, I get a text from the mom who said she would "probably" come. She and her daughter were there and wondering where we were. They couldn't get in without me. Mind you, this was almost an hour and a half later, and she never alerted me that she would be THAT late.
Well, I felt awful and tried calling her. I left a voicemail apologizing that we had just left and were there for almost an hour and a half.
Should I have double-checked to see if she was definitely coming? Kind of hard to do with a 3-year-old in a pool.
SHE should have called YOU to see if YOU were still there ... not arrived and then been pissy about it.
An hour and a half!
That was plenty of time. How long was she thinking you would be there?
This is not anything you should feel in any way guilty.
If she had been smart.. she would have called before even getting in the car. and said. "Sorry, we are running super late, are you all still going to be at the pool?"
People are amazingly presumptuous.
Too bad for her. Hour and a half late. I would not apologized.she should have called to say she was going to be late. People are so inconsiderate these days.
You waited an hour and a half. I would have assumed that her "probably" had turned into "no-show." Any reasonable person would. I don't think that you should feel awful. It's really not your fault about what happened. You stayed as long as you could and left when you were both exhausted. Tough noogies for your friend for not making the effort to show sooner when the play date was actually scheduled. :-)
They should be apologizing for being so late, not calling and not confirming that they were coming in the first place. You should not feel awful. I think I would just say, Sorry, we were there for an hour and a half and did not believe you were coming. Next time please let me know if you are going to be late or if your plans change.
People suck. Especially when it comes to an RSVP.
You gave the time you stated you would be there and nobody showed up. I think you've done your due diligence. Perhaps next time you could say "if nobody shows up at ______, we'll stay for an hour and a half and then be leaving."
You felt aweful? Don't waste your emotion. She's a grownup and she was a freaking hour and a half late. Too bad for her. She dropped the ball, she came late, she said maybe, and she didn't let you know she was on the way so you could stick around or tweak your timing to coincide with hers. Her screw-up.
Why would you feel awful? She said maybe and after an hour and a half of not showing it's perfectly reasonable to assume she's not going to make it. I don't even think you needed to apologize, you didn't even have a firm commitment from her. Hope you had fun in the pool with your girl!
No, it was not up to you to check back with her. SHE should have contacted you and said they were coming, but would be very late. That way you could have planned for that.
No, you handled this fine. Maybe next time she will call or make her plans a little more clear. I can't handle people who can't get their stuff together then expect everyone else to come running to their mess. ugh.
In 1999 you also said we would be friends "forever". I guess we all have to take your statements with a grain of salt...
;P
I wouldn't have waited that long. And I wouldn't have double-checked with a mom who said she would "probably" come. "Probably" puts you on the hook, because it's neither a yes nor a no - especially since a guest needs you in order to get in.
But you don't need to say that. You can just say, "It's too bad that we missed connections like that. Next time we'll all do better."
