Visiting Sick Relative in the Hospital

That depends. If she has been around others who've been ill or have handicaps, etc. she should be fine. Best thing to do, is talk about it BEFORE you go.

Explain that he's sick and tell her that he has a tube in his throat that helps him. Remind her that he is STILL her much loved uncle. If you talk about it and prepare her, she should be fine. Ask her if she has any ?s, too. You never know what those little minds are thinking!

If they will let her in to see him I would take her. If you act like nothing is wrong and do not act nervous she will not think anything about the situation either.

that's a good question. i'm just a new mom, never having delt with anything other than whose turn it is to hold the baby. and first off, i would like to say how much i believe in the healing power of children. their positive energy helps make everything better,but i think it depends on how adaptable your daughter is. i think if she's generally not afraid of new & different things and you can try to explain to her somehow that your uncle is not feeling very well & how he might not want to play, etc., but that he wants to see her. and explain what a hospital is, etc. or maybe you should visit first and get a feel for what your daughters perception of the situation may be. definately at least take maybe a short video of your daughter with her talking so that he could at least hear her voice. hope this helps & hope your uncle recovers soon.

Hi T.,
I think taking your daughter to visit your uncle is a wonderful idea, and likely just what the doctor ordered! I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old (I know, yikes!) and recently took them to visit my grandmother in the hospital...she was so happy to see them and it really brightened her otherwise depressed spirits!
Now, I really prepared my boys for the visit first, by letting them know that 'nana' was sick and needed to stay in bed with some special tubes to help her breathe (she had oxygen in her nose) and drink (IV). I continued to talk with my boys the whole time on the way up to my nana's room to try and relax them but also let them know that they needed to be extra gentle with nana (i.e. no jumping on nana's lap etc).
This seemed to really work out well for everyone. I strongly recommend it!!!
Good luck!
M.

Yes, take her! Tell her he won't look quite like she's used to because he has some tubes and wires that are helping him to get better but he's still the same. I took my kids to see my dad, they were 3 and 4 and it boosted his spirits so much. He was feeling so down and almost like it wasn't worth everything he was going through. Those kids walked in the room and he started to cry because all of his love for them and the desire to be with them overwhelmed him. I was surprised that my little 4 year old (who also has a very special bond with him) didn't act 4 at all. He quietly went to the bed and took my dad's hand and just held it for a long time. It did wonders for my dad and I am sure your uncle will appreciate it so much. Children can do wonders if we let them. I hope he gets better soon.

Kids are very understanding and are often "blind" to many things adults think of as not-normal. Kids take their cues from teh adults around them. If you are calm and nonchalant about all the medical tubes/wires/trach, etc then that is how she will be, too. My kids have grown up seeing their grandma with an oxygen tube... it's just part of grandma. They never really notice it anymore except they do know she needs it and even my 1 year old can hook up the tubing the turn on the concentrator when they arrive at our house and it's set up.

Talk with your daughter ahead of time (not too early - like just before going into the room) to tell her he has a tube in his throat that might look odd, but he's OK and would love to see her.

I use to take my son up to a nursing home to visit some Nuns when I worked there. He would become very upset when we walked into a room with a sister that was bed bound (no other issues), even if they could talk. He would attch to me and cry in their rooms. In the other rooms he would be all talkitive and such. He was about 2 to 3 when I did this. I would be concerned it would scare her.
On the other hand, my uncle was just on a heart floor and my mom had been staying with him. He hand monitors hooked up and lots of pumps in his room. My mom watched my 2 year old neice one day and she did great. She stayed in the room, didn't bother anything, and wasn't scared at all, and he didn't get up out of the bed. It was an uncle that she was not familar with too as they live an hour a way from where my neice lives.
My neice and my son have VERY different personailities. It makes a big difference.

be sure to prepare her for it-- describe what he will look like and explain everything about the hospital and why he is there. she will definitley cheer him up!

I would talk to the social worker at the hospital to see about having someone explain to your daughter the things she will see and why. When our newborn was in intensive care, they had someone who specialized in doing this for children. They used a doll and tubes, etc. to show what was being used and why. They also gave him a coloring book and helped him prepare for the visit.

My mother was in the hospital a lot when my son was younger. I had a special bag of toys for him in the car that he only played with when we visited the hospital. That made the visit go easier for him and since he liked the toys, helped the hospital to feel less scary to go.

T., first I must say sorry for your uncle! This is one of those really hard questions. May people have strong feelinings both ways. But I would take her. Sit her down and explain that he is very ill and in the hospital so that the doctors can make him feel better. I would even walk around the hospital to let her explore before you take her into his room. Best of luck to you.

I would take her. I think she's too little to get scared, she'll just be curious. If it makes your Uncle happy, then it's worth it. I'm sorry about your Uncle.

Take her
first you might want to go so that you are not shocked. You need to remian calm and comfortable around him so that she will feel the same
It will be a good learning experience for her and a wonderful boost for him once she gives him that smile I am sure he is looking for

By all means, it may just be what your uncle needs if nothing else to relax and know she is there. At her age I don't think it will scare her. God Bless You for giving your daughter love and a home.

I think it would be great to take her in to see him. What I would be more concerned about is the child getting sick from the germs in the hospital. If she has a cold or is sick do NOT take her in. Uncle needs to know she's there.

I think you should take her. Kids are stonger than we think, as long as you prepare them for what they are going to see. If she has a special bound with him, then it will be okay. And it will be good for him. I cannot stress enough that you need to prepare her....let her know he is sick and the Dr's are making him better and explain he might not act the same due to his situation. If she knows he will have a trac in his throst, then she won't be as surprised when she sees it.

I think taking her to see your uncle would be wonderful. Explain to her how sick he is and maybe search some pictures on the internet that may give her an idea of what she may see when visiting. These things are scary, but there really is a fine line. In the end, I think it would please you uncle greatly.

Let us know what you decide to do. Prayers~

Peace <>< ~ B.
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As one in the field my best recommendation is to check with the nurses working with him. Many times there are rules to age of children that can visit, but many times if you explain they will let someone that age come in for few minutes. Good Luck. Hope uncle gets better soon.

I'm a nurse and have seen kids react to these situations in hospitals. Some do great, some don't at all. I would vote not to take her. The tubes and wires can be scary; also, if he isn't responding well it probably won't help as much as you hope it will. I would worry too about the germs she would pick up. It always grosses me out to see kids in a hospital - you have no idea what ends up on the floor before she was there. Poop, pee, blood, vomit. And while we try to clean these up well, you never know what we missed.

I took my daughter with me to visit my grandpa in the hospital and in the nursing home shortly before he passed away. I explained things to her in very simple terms (he is very sick, it is hard for him to talk and walk, seeing you really makes him happy..etc.). I think it was a wonderful thing to do for him it REALLY MADE his day. He would talk when she was there and even smile... which he wasn't doing at any other time. It was a little uncomfortable for her (she was 4) but it was something that was good for her to see as well to understand that people do get sick. My grandmother also passed away recently and she stayed in my mother's home. My daughter really made her last days enjoyable. For my daughter it wasn't something scary. I think that it was a great way to show her how to have compassion and love someone. I have great memories of my grandma and her laughing together at this time. I wouldn't change it for the world. Good luck to you, it will probably be hardest on you : )

OOPS, I just realized that this was an old post. I hope things are still improving...

Take care,
S.

Unless you clear it first with the drs and the staff she will not be able to go see him. My grand sons were not allowed to see their Great grand mother before she passed and the hospital refused they were both over 10.

Hello, i am an RN and I think it's a great idea to visit. Make it short and sweet. Maybe have her draw him a picture or something that he can hang in his room. It really boosts patients spirits to have a visit from loved ones. Have another person go with you. so you can have them take your daughter in the waiting room so you can visit a little longer.
Even if your loved one seems "a little out of it" they are still aware of what's going on....and it can make all the difference!!

What about taking pictures so your daughter can see how he has changed since she last saw him. Then you will have an idea of how she might react. Preparing kids for what they are going to see is best for them not to be scared. And if she acts afraid with a picture, you will know it might not be best for her to go. Before doing all this, you might want to check the hospitals policy on children visiting. Because of illness, they might have a minimum age requirement. Children can be fine now, and then running a high fever several hours later. It would not be in your uncle's best interest to get a cold or infection right now.
Good luck
R.

Dear T.,

Little kids smile and that makes great medicine. I vote for a visit.

God Bless,

S.

I totally understand your question. Being a mom of two kids (ages 6 & 2), I tried taking them to see their grandma when she was in the hospital. They were used to seeing her with oxygen, but not with the extra tubes and oxygen mask she had. It really did frightened my kids. I suggest keeping her away, even though it will be hard. Try taking a picture she 'drew' or a new picture of her for him to have to look at while he's in the hospital. Good luck!!!!

So sorry about your Uncle. Trust he is improving. I understand how much it means when someone has very special bond with a child for them to be able to be together when sick. My suggestion would be, as someone already mentioned, is to feel out the situation. Definitely explain things to her if you take her up. Children, even at this age, really can sense when something is right and it can bother them when trying to put it all together. Coming from a mom of 3 children who don't always adapt real well, or fast, to new situations, it isn't always easy for them to see that special someone sick and trying to figure out what all the "extra stuff" is for. We did take our oldest daughter to a nursing home to visit her great-grandma and it was a little bit of an adjustment for her. If your daughter has been in a similar situation before, or seems to have an outgoing personality, she very probably would do just fine. As someone mentioned before, make sure it is okay with the hospital before going (unless you already know they don't have rules for this-it would depend on the unit he is in).
Again, I trust your Uncle has a good recovery. Good luck, and thanks for caring so much about your family!!

I would talk to her about it before going in. Tell her he has an ouchie on his throat and the doctors are taking really good care of him at the hospital. He cannot talk very well, but he looks forward to seeing her. Encourage her to ask questions. When she gets there, tell her about the machines and what they do. I think you have to gauge the visit upon her character. My boys at that age would not have been scared. They would have been curious about everything and why all those things were needed.

For example, my son was about three and had never seen someone in a wheelchair or with disabilities. A child at his daycare had severe disabilities with a breathing machine and a wheelchair. The staff explained what the machines were for and why the boy needed the wheelchair. By the end of the day, my son really liked the other boy and was jealous of him. My son said, "I want wheels". He thought it was neat and that the other boy was in a race car. He had no perception of disability, frailty or the child being behind mentally or physically. So, I think it really is up to how you approach the situation, the explanation given before hand and allowing a lot of questions when you arrive.

First of all I would like to say sorry about your uncle. I am a mother of 3 ages 2, 5 & 7. When my daughter was 2 my grandfather who had Alzheimers was in a nursing home. I took her to see him and she did wonderfully. She would go up to other residents would smile and say hi, she was very good with them. My daughter did well, but not every child will react this way. I would say at this age, even if she is afraid she would probably get over it pretty quickly. I would suggest taking her, but take it slow and stay very close to her (as she feels very safe with you) and see how she reacts. I know in my case, my grandfather would light up when he saw my kids. It made me feel really good that I was able to do that for him.
L.

I definitely think you should take her to see him .
You need to talk to her beforehand about how he is sick and that the doctor has to put a tube to help him breathe.
Explain that the hospital is a place where they take care of sick people etc.
Your attitude will be the thing that helps her to not be scared, so be calm and matter-of-fact and remind her of how much he loves her.

T.:
First, let me say how sorry I am about your uncle. I've been in very similar situations several times - both my children have seen my family members in these situations at very young ages - I was very straight forward with them. For me, I explained EXACTLY what they would see; i.e., tubes in the face, iv's, machine noises, etc. They handled it just fine. They only stay in the room a few minutes but they were fine afterward because we talked about it. Let her ask questions and be honest for her age level. Good luck and God Bless!!!