ughhh...My Boyfriend Never Lets His Phone Go

Hmm..sounds a little shady to me. If he was just carrying it around all the time, I wouldn't be too worried. I carry my phone around with me all the time. Maybe he puts it on vibrate so the ringing doesn't bother the family? Or maybe he genuinely doesn't want to miss a call. I think you need to talk to him about it. Ask him why he carries it around with him all the time. If you don't get a straight answer, then it's time to re-think things. I know a lot of people will tell you that going through his phone is a violation of his privacy, I disagree. If he has nothing to hide, then he won't care if you look at it.
I carry my phone with me everywhere. I have an app on my phone that lets me read books and I can often be found reading on my phone. It makes my husband crazy. He always thought I was texting until I told him what I was doing. It might be something as simple as that.
At any rate, it's time you talked to him about it.

"I hate that he does this, because it makes me feel that he is hiding something." Girl he IS hiding something!

I hate to be negative about the situation but that just really sounds like classic cover up/sneaking around behavior. And we all know what they are usually hiding unfortunately. Are you on the cell phone account? I'd get on-line and look at the records or request a hard copy of them. You say he's not around much even when he does have free time.

I think I would have to do some detective work to see what is really going on without saying anything to him. See what you can ferret out about what he's doing, where he's going and with who then you can discuss it with him. At this point he is clearly on the defensive. Why is that? That's what you need to find out before you try to sit down and discuss it with him. And depending on what you find out you may need to take action to protect you and your 2 kids financially.

I know you want to trust him. We all want and should be able to trust our partners but his behavior is speaking volumes. Taking the phone everywhere with him? Keeping it on vibrate(probably so you don' hear it go off in the middle of the night)? Won't let you even look at the phone? You already found another woman's # on the phone? And she hung up on you?

Maybe I am totally off-base and some of these other great ladies will have an explanation for his behavior but unfortunately I've seen what's really going on too many times. I've had friends go thru these same things.

My husband and I would gladly hand over our phones to each other. Most often, I'm the one with the phone with me ALL THE TIME. But, he's asked to look and I hand it right over. I have nothing to hide. I don't take offense. I don't get on the defensive. I text while I'm in the rest room to catch up with people I haven't talked to in a while. I know... Ew. But I know a lot of people that do that.

If he's getting defensive though... I'd want to know what the heck is going on. And my personal opinion... You shouldn't be sneaky about it. Tell him what you want to do and want to know. Don't tip toe around it. You being sneaky about it would tick him off. I know it would me.

Lots of people are attached to their phones these days with calendars, games, music available. However, that he does not want you to look at it would also make my antenna go up.

You have been together a long time. Sit down with your boyfriend and speak honestly to him. Don't accuse him, but tell him your concerns and worries. I think you will get a gut feeling to his response. #1-see if he lets you look at his phone right then and there. #2-See if he gets defensive or turns the questions on you (a tactic for hiding things)

In my mind it's best deal with it now rather than let it fester.

I would go through his phone, phone call history, text history etc, also check his computer, temporary internet sites and history - you don't want to be a fools and have him screw you for months, and if you find nothing you can relax

First of all have you just out and out asked what the deal is?
Just say it seems strange that he takes his phone with him to shower..

I have to agree it all sounds very shifty if he also "Has something else to do besides staying home with the family."

Can you all join him at these other events? If he is working, can you all go and visit for a moment, maybe take him to a special picnic lunch as a surprise?

Get a copy of his phone bill if he gets it by mail and check it out. If he pays it online, check his computer and you can look at the bill online and see the numbers..

Updated

First of all have you just out and out asked what the deal is?
Just say it seems strange that he takes his phone with him to shower..

I have to agree it all sounds very shifty if he also "Has something else to do besides staying home with the family."

Can you all join him at these other events? If he is working, can you all go and visit for a moment, maybe take him to a special picnic lunch as a surprise?

Get a copy of his phone bill if he gets it by mail and check it out. If he pays it online, check his computer and you can look at the bill online and see the numbers..

Well, you say you want to trust him but clearly you don't. And apparently with reason. I don't normally tell people to be deceptive or snoopy but.....why check the phone when you can check the phone bill?

I would go with your gut, it definately appears that something sneaky is going on. I would sit down with him and have a talk without attacking him, tell him you know it sounds silly, but you're uncomfortable with this, and if it's truly nothing, he would hand the phone over. At the same time, this could be completely innocent and if you're known for peeking at his phone, he may just feel like his privacy has been invaded and he's trying to get a little bit of that back for himself. It's a delicate situation, and I wish you the best of luck!

Hi, MOM:

What is your real concern? It sounds like you are doubting your relationship.

What is it that you need from this man that you are not getting: I am not talking about the phone.

The only person you can control is yourself.
Have you thought about going to Co-Dependents Anonymous to
see what it is you need that you are not getting.

www.coda.org

Good luck. D.

.

Ok, not to be gross, but my husband always to take his phone to the bathroom when he is using it. Which also makes me wonder why it takes someone 30 min to go #2, but THAT is a totally different issue -LOL! He plays games on it while he is in there. A modern twist to a guy grabbing the newspaper. Maybe your BF is just too embarassed to tell you he is playing games while he does his business prior to shower?
If it is making you suspicious - just ask. Better to ask then make yourself worry about "what if?"

I have been where you are and my ex done the same thing..putting the phone on vibrate..wouldnt let me look at ring tones or anything. We came home from out of town one day and I dropped him off at home while I went over my moms and he left the phone in my car. So of course I looked through it....In my situation he was hiding lots of things. Go with your gut. I have two kids also with my ex, and its hard not to let go because of the kids but if mama isnt happy the kids aren't going to be happy either.

Wish you the best of luck!!