UGH! I'm Super Annoyed, What Do You Think?

When I'm in this situation, I try and react the way I'd want my husband to react if the roles were reversed. I have found that frustration occurs when a persons expectations are not met. So, you are frustrated because you expected your husband to be home at a reasonable time. He did not meet that expectation, you can be mad, but does it enrich your family? Does it build your marriage up? Do you really feel your husband chose his grandfather over your son? in the long run, is your son really going to be hurt from this? However, you now have a great story to tell your son when he is older about how important family is and to what lengths his dad went to for his family. I say, take advantage of husband and son being gone and put on a chic flik and enjoy your evening. Let it roll and the next time you don't meet husbands expectations, then just remind him that it happens sometimes. 20 years has taught me to pick your battles and this isn't one in my book. Hope it helps.

Give him a break geez! Not only is his grandpa dying, but hes also got a lovely 13 hour drive with a 3 year old and now stuck in traffic. The only thing that would be more annoying is you nagging at him for it.

ummm....In the grand scheme of things I think you are over reacting. NOT that I don't get where you are coming from, I TOTALLY do. But, grandpa is going to die soon. I think it's more important for your son to see your grandpa and get home late. You will have one day of upset, whiny, yucky behavior from your son, but dead is dead, right?
L.

Honestly, it sounds a bit like overreacting to me. A family member passing is very difficult, even if someone does not act like it is. Your son will be fine and will not remember one rough night in the car at all, but he might remember meeting his great grandfather, or at least be able to know that he did. Your husband is probably tired (especially if he is doing the driving), sad, and trying to stay awake while stuck in nasty traffic. I'm sure it will be irritating to you, but try to just relax when they get home and keep it in if you can to help them both out. You can vent on here if you need to, but try not to be annoyed with him. I doubt he timed things that way deliberately, or at least not to deliberately be frustrating.

It was probably very hard for your husband to leave his grandfathers side. Losing a family member is awful. Please do not give your husband any grief for this.

I agree with the others...it was important that your son got that time and if there is one "bad" night, then so be it. Just because your son hasn't slept well in the car before doesn't mean he can't sleep well in in tonight. Sheer exhaustion may get the best of him! Anyways...honestly, I would feel sorry for your hubby that he has to drive all that way with a preschool that may not sleep while dealing with the imminent death of his grandfather. Just let this one pass...

It's important to hubby. His grandfather is dying. He cannot control the traffic. Your son will live. You might be annoyed with the whole situation, but nobody is at fault and your son will be fine. He may end up sleeping in the car after all but even if he doesn't sleep well, he will not be permanently harmed. So yes, I would say you are overreacting. Cut hubby some slack.

c.

His father is dying. In the scheme of things, your son missing O. good sleep is not that important!

When I'm unsure about if I'm overreacting or not, I project myself into the future, when I will tell the story to my grand children.

In this case, I guess the story will be that your son had the chance to see his great-grand dad before he passed away. Your son and your husband's memory will be that they got this time, and the more time they could squeeze in, the better.

Will anybody remember that because of the 13-hour night trip, your son schedule was off and he was tired for one or two days after that?

My dad passed away in May. I was lucky enough to be able to catch a flight with my 2 kids (1 and 3) and arrive in France, at his bed rest, on time to say bye-bye. But, the hospital rules there would not allow young children in this infectious service (which is a very good rule), so my dad didn't get to see his grand kid one last time. I remember that. But, I have nearly no memory of the nearly 24-hour-trip (flight + train + car) between California and French countryside, alone with 2 toddlers and a very broken sleep/meal/everything routine. And, none of them will ever remember that they've been overtired/cranky/jet-lagged...

Children need consistency and routine, but it's not the most important thing in life. Your husband do in fact make your son's need more important. Today, your son's most important need was not sleep and routine.

Please do not be upset at your husband.
Your son will survive this trip.
Let it go.

you are over reacting. Your husbands grandpa, your sons great grandpa is saying good bye to the world... your son is 3 yrs old, he will be just fine. How do you think your husband feels right now?

I think you are over reacting, sorry. You didn't mention ... if you and your husband both have to work tomorrow? Your son is 3, he can miss pre-k or preschool. Maybe they hit traffic, but maybe they just tried to squeeze in a little extra time with your husbands grandpa? Honestly, if he is going to pass in a couple of days I am more surprised that they just didn't stay until he passed.

You're overreacting! I an understand feeling annoyed, but it's really not that big of a deal. It's not like your child stays up with Dad until 5am all the time. This is a specifically unusual situation. You know how it is with family -you get somewhere and people start talking, etc. and you leave about 3 hours later than you intended. I know we usually roll in from every family reunion and Thanksgiving around midnight when we intended to be home by 7 or 8pm! Since he's basically going to be riding all night, your son may actually sleep a lot better than you're anticipating, but if he doesn't, he'll bounce back. He can have a nap tomorrow and resume his normal bedtime tomorrow night. It's good for kids (and their parents) to be flexible!

Schedules and routines are great, but sometimes they can't be adhered to. Having a family member passing away is one of those times. Imagine for a moment how hard it had to have been for your husband and his siblings to actually say their final farewell knowing that it will be the very last time they see their grandfather.
Your son is little. He may not sleep well, but he also won't remember any of that part. This is a very solemn and defining time for the adults, however.
Being angry will only make you sound insensitive, and not only that, it could make it sound like your husband isn't capable of making any decisions or taking care of your son away from you.
"He should have made our son's needs more important" than his dying grandpa.
We're talking about your son not getting restful sleep in the car for a night.
Put it in perspective and give your husband a break.

If your husband frequently keeps your son out all night you should be annoyed. Just this once, in this situation - I'd let it pass.

I would be way more concerned about your husband and grandfather than your son -- who probably will be just fine after a day or two of inconvenience. Please don't be super annoyed at your husband. It was his last time seeing his grandfather. That's very sad and very overwhelming for him possibly. Your son will be fine.

It is hard to be worried about your husband and child out there on the road coming home in the wee hours of the morning. I imagine that is the true source of your frustration; not that they didn't leave when expected but rather that your are worried for their safety and feeling deep sorrow for the loss of a loved one

Are you over reacting? Ummm....YES. Your son will get over it and not even know anything was "wrong."