Two Year Old Woes!

Ignore him. Walk away. Tell him when he calms down, you can talk to him. I have a two year old and he started that and I just walk away or my husband will laugh at him like he is silly. If he is throwing the fit because he can't have something just tell him is a cool calm voice that he is not getting it no matter what and to find something else to do.

My little one has hit the terrible twos early I think. He's almost 15 months old and the fits have started about everything!! He sees something he wants and is trying to get to it, all I have to do is say 'no' and he starts screaming and flailing around. If I take something away from him that he shouldn't have he screams extra loud, and the other day he even hit me when I told him no! He seems way too young to me to be acting like this, but I guess not. I'm a first time mom and have never dealt with this before, it just amazes me that this little one year old can have such a temper. I will definitely use some of the suggestions here, and if you want to talk (for support, lol) send me a message!!

I have a 17 month old who started doing that (laying on the ground and throwing a tantrum) and we've found that when he does that, he wants attention. when he starts throwing a fit, we just totally ignore him....don't look at him or say anything to him. he realizes that he's not getting the response he's looking for and stops. he threw fits a few more times after the first, but after getting no response from us each time, he stopped doing them altogether.
the key though, is ABSOLUTELY NO ATTENTION TO HIM during the fit. once he gets a reaction, he will continue and get even more uncontrolable. I made that mistake the first time (i tried to pick him up) and my husband was the one that pointed out that it only made the fit worse. Once i ignored him, it was shortly after that he quit.
Good luck with this...hopefully it will get better for you!

My almost-two-year-old is doing a bunch of the same thing. I have had this problem with each of my children at some point in time, and it's been a different solution with each of them. I used to just ignore my daughter until she quit (about three minutes, every time), but she is beginning to out-stubborn me now. I discovered this morning that putting her in her room is really the only answer. I totally agree with all of the ladies who said to completely ignore it, but there does come a time when the screaming is disrupting to your entire household (I have older ones doing homework, not to mention the fact that screaming makes me sooo stressed out), so I finally had to do something different. She completely lost it for the first five minutes. I went back there every minute or two (I use the time-out time for this -- however old they are) and asked if she was done. After she calmed down, she actually stayed in there on her own for another two minutes, and then came out. I gave her a hug, and told her that she had to tell Mommy sorry for being so rude. She did and that was it.

I wish you luck, I know how stressful that can be!
M.

Just let him do it...walk away and act like he isn't there. Go and sit with hubby and have coffee or something you enjoy and when he is done act like it never happened. If you say something about it like "You were not acting nice" or whatever then you have just given him that attention that he wanted. After he has setteled down then give him the good attention he needs and NEVER SPEAK OF THE TANTRUM or he will just do it again. Don't rush it, it may take awhile.

Later
T.

Does he act out in public when he doesn't get his way? My first used to just drop to his knees and refuse to walk when he got mad at the store. Needless to say that I was mortified. I found that the less attention I gave to the outbursts, the less often they happened. I know it's difficult to ignore the screaming and crying but as long as he's not hurting himself it might pay off in the long run. If it makes you feel any better, my oldest son grew out of this phase within a few months and turned out to be a very well behaved child. My 18 month old however is turning out to be another story altogether. LOL. Just be VERY glad he only acts out with you and your husband, after all, that means he feels secure.

My mom always suggested that you stick them out on the lawn and let them scream until they are done. Ive never tried it before but maybe it will work for you. I also hear that just ignoring them while they are throwing a fit helps. Dont even put him in his room. Just let him lay down wherever he is and have him throw his fit. Then you can walk off to another room and see if he stops. Good luck!!

I remmember one time my son who is now mind you 21 threw a tanturm in store because he wanted to ride those rides in front the store, and he wanted something out the machine. So he threw his body on the floor at the front door of the store and started kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs. I had people looking at me like I was some awful mom. Well I gave him a min or two to throw his little act, making sure he could not get hurt, then told him he could act right or we can leave the store and go home he decided he would not act right. Well we left the store and went home.
He NEVER did that again at the store.
Now doesn't work that well for all children and believe me he still threw his fits at home, he did as a teen(thats another story whats worse a teen or a two yr old, about the same).
But you have to find a way to ignore the negative behaivor and award the postive behavior.
Terrible/terrific/ torrid whatever you want to call the two's you will get thru it, he will learn you will learn. But on the not to bright side my son went thru it until he was almost 4, terrible 3's! But he had things taken away and ignored when he did things I did not approve of.
Today he is a nice young man, has respect , sometimes wants things right now as most young people do but he never got into trouble as a teen.
I kept both of my sons very close to me and they are still very close to their mom.
It gets better just be sure to love him and shower him with praise when he does good and try your best as hard as it is to ignore the negative things he does.
Sooner or later he will realize what the deal is.
Good luck
Being a parent is one of the best and roughest jobs you will ever have but its very rewarding at times.
Note
"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young"
Mom to two boys ages 21, and 15

By the time I had my third boy I had seen it all and this poor, third child couldn't pull any of that nonsense and succeed. We learned early to ignore those tantrums. Many times I simply stepped over them in the floor as they flailed. I would go about whatever I was doing all over the house ~ occasionally ~ calmly telling them I would not talk to them until they acted appropriately. It's actually comical to see them jump up, run to where you are, and drop to the floor and begin again in an attempt to prove themselves to you. Helping them find the words to describe their feelings helps, but clearly we do not recognize such out of control rants. Don't let them pull you in...don't let them see you sweat...stay calm, in control, and look at it as a clear cut black and white situation. These things are acceptable; these are not. Period. Firm, calm, matter-of-fact...that's your demeanor. My older guys learned the rules so well they try to inforce them (timeouts) on their youngest brother (before I can step in)...and, often it works. 100% of the time they get his attention! And, they're only 11 and 10. Building these little masterpieces is not for the faint-hearted. You'll do great!

What works with our daughter, who just turned 3, is ignor the fits. Do not give her what she wants. Make sure she is safe and can't hurt herself. Now her fits consist of her curling in a ball on the floor in dead silance.

You arent the only ones. WElcome to the terrible twos. All i can suggest is to stand your ground, let him know that that is not exceptable at all. and just be consistent and how you discipline when he does that. it has to get worse before it gets better.

I think one of the biggest things is to pick something, probably the ignoring the fit thing, and be consistent. Don't give in for a minute, just because you think it will be better. Even in public. If necessary, leave where you are and sit in the car until he calms down. It will probably take a little bit before this starts to work, but being consistent is the key. After awhile, there will be no payoff for him, and he will know that he can't manipulate you. It's hard I know. I always thought that it was completely a bad parenting issue when I was raising my first daughter on my own. I thought that because I actually had a little angel, and she never ever threw fits, and was always really well behaved. Her baby sister on the other hand woke me up to see that it is more a personality thing. I raise her the same as I did her sister, and she is a little handful with plenty of fits to spare. I have noticed that since she realizes it's not getting her anywhere they have slowed way down. The other thing you might want to tackle is the grandparent, baby-sitter thing. He may not be throwing fits with them because they are more likely to give him whatever he wants. You may have to watch that, and get them on board with the whole consistency thing. Anyways, I hope this helps :)

Oh girl - I feel your pain!!! I have a two and a half year old that is doing the same thing. The only thing I can tell you is that we have started standing him in the "naughty corner". It works much better when my husband does it than when I do it though. He knows I'm a pushover. If it is any consolation he seems to be coming out of it a little and isn't quite as bad as he used to be. Don't know if it's the age or something we're doing, but I'm thankful either way. Sorry this probably isn't much help. Good luck

When my youngest hit the terrible two's his older brother was doing the same thing. He was 5 at the time. His therapist suggested that I read a book called The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and it worked for both of them until the older one started school and the school gave me a book from this website: http://www.lifematters.com/step.asp and we started using choices to get them to stop the bad behavior. The goal is to have the choose between two fun activities rather than being bad but for right now you can say, you can either go play or go to time out for throwing a fit.

Choices are still being used in my house but I backed it up with this which I learned with my older son. http://debbysewninwesttulsa.blogspot.com/2007/06/parent-c... once I had been able to do each thing 10 times in that 5 minutes I could move on to the time outs described here: http://debbysewninwesttulsa.blogspot.com/2007/06/pcit-par...

It really works but you have to commit to doing special time for quite a while. We work it into the bed time routing. They bathe for 5 minutes read books for 20 and I play with them for 5 minutes. We do this individually though. The youngest goes first.

There is nothing boring about raising children is there?? The first thing that came to my mind was...the little fella knows what works with Mom and Dad...so he uses it....he knows it doesnt work with the other folks in his life so he sets it aside. My oldest daughter was that way...at bedtime. When I was putting her to bed, it was a terrible struggle...I couldnt stand to hear her cry so I tried to get her to sleep THEN put her into bed...she would wake up as soon as her little head it the crib...and I would take her and return to the rocking chair. BUT...when she was sleeping in the very same bed, but our trusty babysitter was the one putting her to bed...she would just lay down and go to sleep. She knew she could "work" me. So...I guess my advice would be...dont react to his temper tantrums....tell him "we cant hear whiney voices" or "we cant hear screaming voices"...put him in his room...close the door and wait for him to calm down.
Good luck!!!
Let me know how it goes!!
R. Ann

I am going to suggest that since he is only pulling the stops out with Mom&Dad that you try this....maybe he needs some one on one time with each of you. If you have suddenly made the adjustment of going back to school, then it could be he needs time to adjust and he is acting out because of the change in his routine.
Since he enjoys the laying down and screaming act, walk away. He isn't going to understand or listen to your reasoning. If it helps to put him in his room, then do so. And while you are doing that, tell him why you are walking away, and putting him in his room for some quiet time. My daughter will be two soon and she loves the throwing pouting screaming match when she is angry, frustrated or mad or not getting her way. She has a big bear in her room that I put her on and I tell her I am putting her there because she needs to calm down and I would like to help her but I can't understand her when she is screaming and mommy needs to calm down too. I also lay some books for her and walk away. If she comes out before she is calm, I put her back on the bear. This works for her and she calms down reads a book and is fine. When she does come out, I ask if she is okay now and give her a hug and tell her that I am sorry she is so frustrated but she can't throw, hit scream..ect.
The walking away is easier said then done, but really what good is it to sit there and get even more upset with your child? (o: Good luck with your degree and just think of all the papers you will be able to write with your son as an example(I am doing the ECE thing too).(o:

I would try letting him throw his fit. Sit there and watch calmly and make sure he doesn't hurt himself but don't respond to his outburst. Once he realizes he will no longer get you riled up and stops, give him love and attention. He's learning early how to get attention just not the good kind. When he sees you not responding to his fit, he will stop. Don't give up though, some kids are really stubborn. Trust me, I have a five year old red head, I have been there. She reverts every once in a while to test me and when the response is still the same she stops.