Two Year Old Sleeping in Our Bed..

Put a mattress on the floor of your room. Tell him he can sleep there.
That is a happy medium.
That is what we do and we have 2 kids.
It works out for us. We have NO battles about it.
Simple.

Its his age.. and age stage. At this age, they get scared at night, and miss their parents, and it is developmental based.
When I was that age and even 3-4 years old, I did that too. I would simply get SCARED at night, all by myself in my room, all dark. So I would walk down our LONG dark scary hallway, just to go to my parents room and squeeze in between them. They let me. I grew out of it. Normal.

Pick your battles. His room is far away. He misses you... you are gone at night. It gives him anxiety. Normal.
Just let him sleep on the floor mattress, in your room.
He won't be with your forever.

All the best,
Susan

get a king size bed ;)

Your story is very similar to what ours. I went back to school (at night) when my son was 2. Every night, I would get home and he would be asleep with my husband in our bed. Prior to this he had always slept in a crib or his baby bed. Just before I started school, I got him a big bed and bought rails. This bed was not a problem. Husband would lay down with him in our bed. When I got home I was so tired and feeling guilty for not being there, I just slid into bed with them.

Long story short, my son will be 8 in May and has just now gotten to where he prefers to sleep in his own bed and doesn't end up in ours almost every single night. Up until a couple of months ago we would have a night here and there where he would stay in his bed all night. Mostly, he would go to bed in his room then come into ours at some point. We just have a queen bed, so you can imagine how crowded we have been as he has aged!

I went through a spell where I laid down with him. But, I ended up going to sleep too and would wake in the middle of the night, go to my own bed, and not be able to go back to sleep.

We have now discovered that he likes to have several of his stuffed animals surrounding him. I think this gives him the feeling of us being next to him. He loves to cuddle.

I haven't worried too much about his sleeping with us. I keep saying, he won't be 15 and still sleeping with us! I'll be lucky to get a hug then, better enjoy the closeness while I can.

I am not at all a fan of "cry it out", couldn't bear to do that to my child. We have done the "let him go to sleep on couch or our bed and move him" and "take him back to bed every time he comes to our bed". Neither worked for any length of time.

This is a new situation for him, he needs time to adjust to you not being there. That may be why he wakes up crying for you. It also sounds like he is a light sleeper. Get one of those "white noise" makers for his room. We have never done the "don't make a sound baby is sleeping" routine around our house. This seems to help them get used to sleeping sounder.

Since his bedroom is so far away from yours why not put a toddler bed in your bedroom for him to sleep in. I never thought much about it before children. But, I am SO GLAD now that our house is not designed with the master away from the other bedrooms. I would never sleep peacefully!

Good luck, it can be a battle with your child and with your feelings of guilt and tiredness.

Kids will adjust to whatever they are taught. You have taught him that he cannot fall sleep without you. I hate hearing about the "cry it out" method. It sounds like you just let them cry until they fall asleep. It's not that traumatic. It is a system of teaching YOU that it is okay if your child cries for a specific period of time. You and your husband have to learn that. Will you bend to your teenager's every wish to stop them from screaming at you, slammming a door or telling you that they hate you. It requires you and your husband to decide who is going to run the house.

Try letting him cry for 5 min. (it will feel like an hour at first). Then go in reassure him that you are there and that it is time to go to sleep. No other soothing actions or he will wake up and cry just to get you to hug, rock, sing, offer a drink or whatever other thing you teach him that you will do to bow to his wishes. Then let him cry for 10 min. (it may require you and your husband to hold each other back). Then go 15 min. It should only take him 2-3 nights to learn that you are still there, but when he wakes up, he needs to also learn how to put himself back to sleep.

I don't agree with allowing him in your bed because it sends a bad message to your husband that his sexual needs are not as important as your son's desire to have you nearby. Besides, what sane woman would want to give up those "out of body experiences." When my kids had bad dreams or nightmares, etc. I would sleep in their bed.

Bring his bed into your room for maybe the next year and put it right next to your bed. At that age they totally crave security and the reassurance that you are there. That will assist him to be confident and secure in his world. His bedroom is way too far away for now. First we had our oldest in our bed because we felt crying it out was not the method for her. Then we moved her to her bed right next to us so if she woke up in the night we could immediately reach out our hand and put it on her back etc. Then she was near us but we still had our own bed. She's 5 now and has been sleeping in her own bed in her room across from ours for about a year and a half. Blessings!

Is it bothering you that he is in your bed or in your room. If it is your bed then put his mattress next to your bed on the floor and tell him his choice is there or in his own room. This way you will not get kicked all night and get a good nights sleep. I never co slept so I can understand how you feel. Even when my kids were sick I went and slept in their room to avoid creating a habit I would have to break later. Maybe you can try staying in a chair in his room while he goes to sleep, and then each night move the chair closer to the door until you are eventually out of the room. I saw that on Supernanny and it did work. Good luck!

Hi J., One suggestion. Can you and your husband temporarily sleep in the guest room upstairs?just We have three kids and did that because I didn't want to go upstairs in the middle of the night (I am wide awake after that), nor did I want my children going downstairs in the middle of the night for safety reasons. My husband and I slept upstairs for several years until we felt it wasn't necessary anymore. Crying it out seems so severe. Since we have three children, it wasn't an option for us. Otherwise, all five of us would be awake. The idea is to get your son back to sleep as quickly as possible. We had sleep adjustments with our first and this is what worked for us. The pediatrician told me not to lay down with my child. If your son wakes up or stirs and you are not there, then he will feel a void. It is okay to rub your son's back or softly hum while he is going to sleep in his own bed. We have a strict bedtime every night, including weekends. Other suggestions - have your son pick out some new sheets or new accessories for his room. Your new sleeping arrangements will take time (several weeks) and patience . Every child/family is individual. My 6 YO and 5 YO still occassionally crawl in bed with us in our king bed downstairs, but at least we all go back to sleep quickly and I don't have to go upstairs in the middle of the night. Sometimes I don't even hear them get in bed with us. Talk with your husband about your new approach. Consistancy is paramount. Hope this helps. Do whatever works for you. Your sleep is important.

Here are some tips and another link on setting routines for a child that may also help:

http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/10/30/...

The following article by Kyle Pruett, M.D., provides excellent insight on children’s sleep issues which are among the more challenging developmental stages for parents to master.  But biology is on the parents’ side in this one, because sleep patterns mature over time just like other developmental skills.

* Polls tell us that one-third of American children and their parents sleep together some or most of the time before children start school. Co-sleeping varies hugely by culture and ethnicity. So think about what you want to do, and discuss the pros and cons with your pediatrician.
* Make sure your crib is safe (locking rails), that your older child’s ‘big bed’ has side rails, and if you are co-sleeping, that there is plenty of room.
* The human brain is active during sleep, but the deepest sleep is typically at the beginning of the night.  Babies spend more time than older children in stimulating REM sleep, with eye movements and irregular breathing. Don’t worry about all that action in your child’s body – it too is growth.
* Start them young – do not ignore the importance of naps, watch for the yawn, and start bedtime early in the evening.
* The transition from crib to bed is also a time of sleep pattern changes, but most kids want it to work.
* To instill good sleep habits remember that consistency matters so much:

o Bath Time
o Goodnights
o Tuck and Talk Bedtime Story
o Lullabye (yours are best)
o Goodnights

This all sounds well and good, but it is a rare family that hasn’t had to handle some sleep trouble along the way.  If your family is trying to re-establish a lapsed routine, stay calm and reassuring.  We almost all need more sleep than we get, and it is a tremendous gift to our children to teach them how to sleep well.

Suggested Resource: American Academy of Pediatrics http://www.aap.org

I agree with the other posts. Our 3 year old went through this and his options were to sleep in his bed, sleep on the floor in his room, or sleep on the floor in our room. He sleeps in his bed the majority of the time, and sometimes on his floor. Occasionally when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he grabs his comforter and pillow and come into our room, doesn't wake us up, just settles down on the floor next to the bed. If you don't stop this now, it will get worse. And as with anything else, both you and your husband have to be consistant in the rules you put in place. Good luck!

Does yourson have a baby (railed) bed in hs room? If so just let him cry, he will learn in 3 nights time tat his cries are not working anymore and he will fall asleep or back to sleep. Tell your husband to at leattry this method and see how this works.