Two-year-old Sleeps 7 Hours and Takes a One Hour Nap? - and I Am Losing My Mind.

Argh! I feel for you, but please don't let this situation continue! A two year old is absolutely playing you... she may truly want to be with you, but in the middle of the night is not the time. A two year old is not hungry, even if she doesn't eat much -- even a baby under 12 months can sleep through the night without waking to eat. If you're concerned about hunger, give her a snack before bed-- even if she doesn't eat it, it's been offered, and she will learn to eat it if she's really hungry. I agree with the other mom that water is best at night-- it's really bad for the teeth to have milk then go back to sleep. And your getting up with her is just training her to keep doing what she's doing-- if she gets what she wants, her behavior will continue. After this long, it might take a while for her to un-learn the habit of getting up at night, but if you don't reinforce it by feeding and rocking her, she will stop. You can take down the time gradually-- sit with her for five minutes, then four, etc., until you just go in to pat her on the back and send her back to sleep. There will probably be screaming at first, but it will end. If you are, as you say, losing your mind, a couple of nights of hearing her cry (I suggest earplugs!) will be worth it in the long run. Both of my kids learned to sleep through by about 8 months, and the one or two nights of fussing was absolutely worth it-- they are good sleepers, they are loving, healthy kids who were not scarred by the experience, and we are all well-rested and happy now. And that's the point--if you're too tired and stressed to enjoy your child and be the best mom you can be, it's time to make changes so all of you are a better family together. Good luck!!

First of all, don't feel bad. You are doing what you think is best. The problem is, I think we as parents create problems for ourselves sometimes. My 2 year old wakes up at 4 am sometimes telling me "EAT" "EAT"... and he is hungry! So she may very well be hungry! The problem we have is that he gets TOO MUCH milk. He loves milk, and I think he drinks too much sometimes, instead of eating. Make sure at meals, you wait until the end to present the drink.. especially at dinner!!! Then even before bed, offer a snack of some sort (cheese?) To make sure she is not getting hungry during the night.
You do need her to relearn her night time sleeping, cause she has a habit right now. I had to do this with my son as well, because he would wake up screaming for milk. It is more of a soother than you think! First, perhaps just putting much less milk in the bottle so she only gets a few sips of milk, a little rocking, then put her back in her crib.... after a few nights, no milk less rocking.. back in crib... a few more nights...a hug, back in crib - back rub.. then out... after about a week. Hopefully, she will bypass this wake up time. I know it is hard. It is hard to hear them scream or fuss, which she may do because she wants YOU. She has conditioned herself, and you need to try and break the cycle. I wish you well. Most mothers have been there, even if they want to pretend they haven't!!! :)

I agree that you shouldn't be having to clean all weekend... you work all week, and your daughter needs you to be there to play and reconnect with her. I know how busy your husband is staying home... I stay at home with my almost 2 year old son, and it's a full time job just taking care of him. But maybe asking him to get some more things done, or hiring a cleaning service if you can afford it would help keep your weekends open. As for her wanting only you at night, it's completely understandable that she wants to spend time with you since you work so much. I don't think there's anything wrong with you giving her the comfort and closeness that she obviously needs. She's at a point in her life where she's trying to find her independence, and that can make life stressful! So I would say not to change anything... other than maybe going to bed earlier (maybe when she does), and napping on the weekend with her. That way you're not quite so tired all the time! Maybe even slipping in a 30 minute power nap during your lunch break during the week would help! Good luck!

She is winning. Not that its a game, but if it was, she would definetly have the upper hand. I agree she is probably hungry and needs the food, but if you keep giving it to her during the night, then that is when her body will learn to be hungry. Same thing with getting her back to bed - if you continue to snuggle her until she wakes again in the morning, that becomes the norm. You have to create a new norm. It may not be easy. But it will only take 3-4 nights to retrain her body to adapt. Our 3 year old did the same with gettin out of her bed once she moved from the crib to her toddler bed. But we tell her, you have to stay in your bed until morning (she knows to look for it being light outside) unless you need to go potty or if you NEED us. The times that she does come to our room, we take her back to hers and tuck her in her bed. She usually asks if we will snuggle and we tell her no, its night-night time and still time for sleep. The first few nights took a few times doing that, but now there is no fuss. She just goes back to sleep. All this applies to eating also - its just a matter of retraining. And if she is not getting the milk in the middle of the night, she may be more apt to eat at dinner - especially once she realizes the middle of the night food is no longer. Best of luck! Hang in there!

I'm sorry mama. This sounds like a very difficult and heart breaking situation. Why doesn't she eat? She could have allergies or food sensitivity that makes her uncomfotable, but not obviously sick. Just offering some ideas that might help. I know you're not looking for solutions yet, so this is just food for thought.

It sounds like she misses you terribly too. What about having hubby do more chores since he's home all week? That way you've got less to do and can devote more time to your daughter. Guys aren't always the best housekeepers, (though some are fantastic!) but if they can make it easier, then at least it's easier. What about hiring a cleaning service?

Good luck mama...all will pan out in time :-)

I hate to tell you this but some kids require less sleep than others. My son requires even less than this. My suggestion is try and wear them out really good before they go to bed and this may give you an extra 30 min to an hour. Try chasing him around the house for a little while before bed. Good luck.:-)

I agree with the other mom, she is playing you and all it is doing is wearing you out. There have been many nights my 3yr old has gone to bed hungry because he didn't eat his dinner lately and he sleeps just fine through the night and eats a good breakfast the next day. You need to stand your ground with her. If you really think she is hungry, offer her a banana or other piece of fruit before bed.

Also, unless you are brushing her teeth after she drinks the milk, give her water. The milk sitting on her teeth is very bad and giving her water also might make it a waste of her time. You could leave a sippy cup of water next to her bed as well that way she can get a drink herself.

Good luck,
S.

Your husband should clean the house during the week since he doesn't work during the week. You work during the week and then you have to clean the house on the week-end, while your husband sits around the house during the week. That's quite unfair, I think. Do you give your daughter any baby food, such as fruit, cereal, vegetables and meat? Maybe you need to increase her meat and vegetables.
P. S

Try feeding her a good quality Whole milk from a farm, make a fruit smoothy and add egg or other source of protein and some coconut oil. You want to give her something with Good Protein and Fat to keep her full during the night.

That should help. Do the same before her nap, my 2 year old sleeps about 11 hours a night and takes 2 hour naps. The high protein/fat diet helps keep her satiated and healthy.

Also if you are giving any sugars or foods with corn syrup or food dyes that will wire them and keep them from sleeping, not to mention the other ill effects.

Ask if you have any questions, there are many other methods I use with my clients but this one tends to work best.

H.
www.trulyhealthybaby.com

Mine is kind of high energy and hyperactive, always refusing sleep, never admitting to being tired. One thing I will say, you rocking her to sleep every night is just putting more strain on yourself and showing her that if she cries, you will go in there and pick her up and rock her. She's playing you. She's 2, she needs to learn to go back to sleep on her own, give her the milk in her bed, let her drink it and fall back asleep on her own if you insist she needs to drink. Seems like a better way to me than rocking her all night...both of you get some sleep...