Co-sleeping Moms - Need Your Help!

Simple... he is old enough to be on food and cereal. Feed him before he goes to bed and it will hold him longer.

~mother of 3 older kids

What I did with my older son starting at six months was put him down in his crib at the beginning of the night. After the first waking, I would get him and bring him to bed with us and nurse him. We coslept for the rest of the night. He went longer stretches in his crib than if he were right next to me.

It worked for us. I had that time with my husband at the beginning of the night and then I got to snuggle with my son for the rest of it. I also got my rest, too.

Hi,
I have a 15 month old who still sleeps with us. I too have the crib in the room and have occasionally gotten him to sleep in it. He loves Elmo right now, so I tell him that's Elmos bed and Elmo can't sleep in the big bed but he can sleep in with Elmo.
Anyway, he nursed all night long until just after he turned one. I finally had to cold turkey him one night. It wasn't terrible and the second night he rarely woke up. He now sleeps through.
I would try to get your baby to sleep through first and then move him to the crib; or when he wakes up in the crib pick him up and nurse him back to sleep and then put him back in the crib. I wouldn't do both at the same time (crib and no nursing). That just seems like too much change at once.

I know its tough at this point, but you can make this transition in a pretty simple way. Does your son take a pacifier at all? I found that my daughter just needed to satisfy the urge to suck and not actually nurse quite as much as I thought she did. She's a big girl too! I'd suggest nursing him to sleep and placing him in his crib. When he next wakes, try the pacifier and rocking him back down. If you can replace a few of those meals with a paci, he eventually won't wake as frequently. At that age, he really doesn't need to eat that often, I'm guessing its habit and just comforting. He might protest at first, but stick with it and you'll all sleep better. Also, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby is a great book that could help you too. Good luck!!

I co-slept both of my nursing boys for about the first 4 months, then found I didn't need to. The trick is that at around 3-4 months is when they start organized sleep, or sleeping on more or less of a schedule. Recognizing and working with this sleep schedule does wonders for them (and you!).

I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. He outlines sample wake/sleep patterns at different ages, and it makes it so much easier to get them down for a nap in the crib if you know when they're ready for one. Once they get used to napping in the crib, transitioning to the crib at night is not as traumatic.

You have probably unknowingly reinforced his habit of needing to be nursed back to sleep every time he rouses from a deep sleep into a lighter sleep. If you give him the chance to learn to soothe himself back to sleep, he may no longer need to nurse every other hour. It may mean sleeping in the TV room a few nights, but it will be worth your while if he learns to do it.

Good Luck!

I am the mother of 2 children who sleep 9-12 hours per night. My son is seven months old and my daughter is 2 years old, and they share a room. My son is also large- 21 pounds and growing! He is exclusively breast fed and won't touch rice cereal or anything else I have tried. He has been sleeping through the night since he was 2 months old. He also naps for at least 2 hours in the afternoon and a short nap in the morning. I prize my sleep and get at least 8 hours per night, if not more. I followed the plan in the "On Becoming Babywise" books and LOVE IT! I read the book after it was recommended by a family member who had great success with it. I share it with everyone.

My pediatrician told me to load up my son during the day, that way he doesn't wake up at night. He also said kids will get in the habit of "saving space" for night feedings if you keep it up for them. It's hard to stop cold turkey, though. My husband and I gradually transitioned him to not feed at night and then moved him into the crib. He still wakes up hungry sometimes, though. I would try to skip a feeding every other time he wakes up (either let him cry it out or put him back to sleep) and definitely give him a big feeding before bedtime.

Hello..I am a 25 year old mother of 4 I have been a military wife for going on 6 years now...my eldest is 4 and will be 5 in march...I had the same problem with him and believe me stop now or it will get worse..my son was 9.5 at birth and by 3 weeks that milk in me and bottles were thrist quenchers for him...he was crying all day cause he was hungry and it was like water to him so my son was on grits and mashed potatos at 2 months..and i fell for the sleeping my bed with him and he just litterally stopped climbing in my bed from his toddler bed 3 months before i had my last son whom is 9 months now so yes regardless if he wakes your daughter up or not transition ou tof this now..and also try feeding him something heavy right before bed and then put him in his crib and try giving him breast milk from bottle with a lil cereal in the middle of the night..believe he is hungry hope i gave you good advice

I'd look at increasing the calories from breastmilk during the day. I just suggested the book the No Cry Sleep Solution to someone else here. The author has great advice about this. Hope this helps.

A friend of mine was going to switch her child from her bed to crib and realized why should she go through the pain twice (moving to a crib and then moving to his own room). So, she did it all in one movement -- he went from her bed to his crib. And it helped the sleeping and nursing patterns.

I just weaned my son at 22 months but he still sleeps with us. Giving up the night nursing was hard for me, especially since I work out of the home and my husband is a stay-at-home dad. Night weaning was very hard because, I admit, I was lazy about it and just used it automatically whenever my son so much as whimpered. I ended up moving myself out of the equation. I left my son and husband to sleep together and went into the guest room for a week or so. He just adjusted to the fact that while his father was still there and could provide him with comfort it wasn't going to be the nursing kind of comfort. After about a week he would still wake periodically but we could pat his back or shift his position and he would drift back off to sleep on his own. It has been a challenge from day one to get our son to sleep well (hence we started co-sleeping out of necessity, but stayed with it because we love it), but once I weaned him from night-nursing he started sleeping through the night for the first time in his life. It was very hard to get through that week, and sometimes my husband had to get up and walk with him or rock him back to sleep, but I would never have been comfortable letting him cry it out in another room. So, he was still being comforted by a loving parent, he just wasn't able to nurse and I could live with that.

You are probably right - he is not hungry all of those times. He is using you/nursing as a sleep prop. That is how he has learned to go to sleep. He needs to learn how to put himself to sleep. This would cut down on the nighttime nursing. I'm not sure if you feed on demand during the daytime, but if you do, changing to a more scheduled time with fuller feedings may help as well. I would look for a book on sleep training that meets your with your parenting style to help you out of this delimia. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child might work well. As for the crying - I think you have to except there will probably be some. We turn on the fan in the bathroom and the dryer to try to muffle the sound not to wake our 3 year old. It took a couple of weeks - but now our baby is sleeping like a champ. You have to try it at sometime. I learned with our kids, the earlier we did it, the easier it was on them.

Does he really need to go to the crib? my favorite quote from Dr. Sears is "Everyone should sleep where they get the most sleep" I have 6 kids. My 3 1/2yr. starts the night in her bed and comes in to ours during the night. I also have a 7 week old that sleeps with us. I keep the baby in the bed by me and my older daughter comes in and sleeps between here dad and I. If you really feel that your son needs to move to a crib you might try the crib beside the bed or at the foot of the bed so you don't have to get up and go far. You might also look at the Arm's reach co-sleeper. it attaches to the side of your bed for the baby to sleep in. We got one but we are using it more as a shelf next to the bed to hold diapers and stuff. My 5th child was also over 9lb. at birth and she needed to nurse much more frequently than my other children. I would suggest just keeping in bed with you and enjoy nursing him until he is ready to wean. The things that steal sleep now will be the things we look back fondly on in the future. With a 2yr. to take care of as well you need to get good rest at night and if keeping the baby in bed is the way to do it then just relax and meet your child's needs.

First thing to do is get your daughter in her own bed. My children also slept with me, but as soon as my daughter came into the world when my son was 16 months we introduced my son to his new big boy bed (with soft rails, he couldn't sleep in a crib because he would bang his head and wake himself all night) It was a rite of passage! He would go to sleep in my bed and knew I would be carrying him into his own room after he was asleep. honestly kids sleep so soundly he never knew I moved him. I made sure all his favorite toys were around his bed and he loved his room..He had a nightlight after awhile but required that I put on a familiar video with no sound at first. At 6 he still likes me to lay down in his bed with him to go to sleep but stays asleep and in his own bed all night.

AS for getting your son to sleep at longer intervals, have you tried the rice cereal in his bottle before bed? Again, maybe let him fall asleep next to you, but transfer him to a bedside crib or cradle after he is asleep so he doesn't smell you.

Good luck with this! You need your sleep too!

A drink of water instead of nursing sometimes does the trick. S. S

M., it sounds like he's just used to that schedule and it works nicely for him, so that's why he's so punctual. With my daughter, who's now 2 1/2, we woke her up every 3 hours to feed her in the very beginning and then she started waking up every 3 hours on the dot for 6 months.

So, with my son, whose 5 months now and exclusively breastfed like yours, I didn't wake him up and just let him sleep through the night and he's been an awesome sleeper since birth. Lately, though, he's been waking up around 3 am b/c he's hungry. He's pretty big, 17 pounds, so I started giving him a bottle at night with rice cereal, per his doctor, and he's been sleeping through the night pretty consistently now. Since he's older, you might want to try with a spoon instead of a bottle...not even sure if he takes a bottle.

The doc said to start feeding him with a spoon about 3 Tbs mixed with breastmilk or formula in the am and pm. It seems to have made a difference. You might want to play with the consistency. The doc told me to make it like wallpaper paste, but your son's older, so it might not have to be that thin.

Oh, and I remember a friend of mine that breastfed her baby for at least a year and they had a rule that they wouldn't feed him until after 5 am after he had gone to sleep. They would give him a paci if he woke up or just put him in bed with them and she would try and soothe him without feeding him. I thought that was pretty smart. You might try something like that.

Hope some of this helps, K.

My sons (9 and 5) both nursed well into toddlerhood and coslept because it meant the most sleep for me, and I always liked having them close. With my second son I put a crib like a sidecar strapped to the bed with bungee cords and the rail all the way down and I would shift him over into it after nursing, it gave us more room and he did nap OK in there. Then we moved him to a toddler bed at the foot of our bed, then later into his own bunk bed with his big brother in an adjacent room. I don't know if it caused him to wean himself earlier, he is more independent than his older brother. I never did get either one to just lay down and go to sleep until they were older. They still need tucking in at night and clamor TUCKING TUCKING at the end of story time with my husband. I will rue the day that they put themselves to bed. Just remember the best way of looking at motherhood - the days are long but the years are short.

Been there, done that. The trick is to have his crib in another room and continue your routine but with him sleeping in his own room and after a while have your husband (because he's not a source of food) take one soothing session, then after a week or two another, and pretty soon your little one is going back to sleep with no nursing (which you are correct in believing he no longer needs at night at this point). And soon he won't even bother getting up for middle of the night soothing that doesn't get him a snack too. It takes dedication and fortitude, but it works.

Have you tried feeding him some solid food about 1/2 hour before bed? Maybe some rice cereal or oatmeal - something that might make him feel satisfied for a while.

Wishing you all the best!

I have a four month old daughter, who is exclusively breastfed, that we just transitioned into a crib in her own room after spending the first four months in an arms reach co-sleeper bassinet attached to our bed. It was heartbreaking for me at first, but she took it like a champ and in fact, prior to the move, she was getting up two to three times a night for feedings and now she is down to one. My theory is that my husband and I were waking her up with our own noises (breathing, snoring, rolling over, etc) and I fed her to get her back to sleep. I, too, read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby and feel that there is a lot of good info in there. Even if you don't take the book's advice word for word, it makes you think about their sleep habits and how you can make them better. Best of luck!