Twins in Seperate Class Rooms

is the one who said switch the protector of the other?
I can see that it truley will be good for them, even if it makes home work harder. BUT they can both study both and get it even better. (did that make sense?)
At some point they will need to develope their individual identities and I say if they are happy with their classes then let it be. Maybe the one who wants to stay seprate enjoyed being just her and not them.

Hi D., I think even though they are very active and outgoing they are probably also very dependent on eachother. Seperate classes will allow them to make their own individual friends and also to find different hobbies, interests, etc. As for the homework, maybe they can help eachother or work more independently to speed things up a bit.

I have twin boys 10 years old. now in the 4th grade. They have always been in separate classes. Before Kinder, they were in the same and I always got tired of people referring to them as "the twins" and they didnt know which one was which etc. Ever since they have been in diff classes they have enjoyed it. They have their own friends and their own stories to tell. They have diff personalites and they shine in their own way. One is more academically inclined and more reserved. The other is much more fun seeking.I asked them if they wanted to be in the same class, it was a huge resouding NO from both. Even then I as a mom can tell they are still very dependent on each other for company and keeping themselves busy.
In the school, so far,we have had no issues with sep homework. They are put in classes who do the same thing pretty much so it is easy on parents. For eg. Two teachers pair up and basically work together in teams for assingments and projects, homeworks, etc.In fact i am working on them being separated breifly at times so they dont feel so dependent on each other. They are completely different boys by themselves.! It is amazing. Yea sometimes, i hear things like his teacher is more fun or his class is more fun. I feel they have to learn that things will not go their way always.I also have to volunteer 2 times if I am doing it. Somehow they will find a way to make it fun.They both will have fun or (got in trouble!) individual stories to tell at the end of the day.!It has worked out for us greatly.

Are you in Texas? I'm a twin mom, and while you should take other's advice into consideration it's your choice. No one knows your children the way you do. In Texas, under the Education Code, section 25.043, you have the right to request that your twins be placed in the same or different classrooms. Unless the school district can show the placement is disruptive, they must allow your choice. This law has been effective since 5/15/07, however, a lot of educators still don't know or expect you not to. You need to act quickly though. You need to put your request in writing within 14 days of enrollment. I would mention V.T.C.A., Education Codes 25.043 in the notice. Good luck.

I am an identical twin and very close to her. My sister and I were born hearing impaired and had to be in the same classes due to sharing a sign language interpreter. I was fine with being together at the beginning, but as we got older, we got tired of it and requested different classes. So in the 8th grade we were separated. I loved it! I was so tired of people calling us "The Twins". After that, they were forced to know us by name and had to work to tell us apart. This separation also helped prepare us for our separation in college and graduate school. We now live 200 miles apart. I do miss her but I feel like an individual. So separation is good thing. They need to see themeselves as an individual. I understand the frustration of trying to get activities done but if you had 2 kids, not twins, it would have been the same situation. I know that I would teach my sister the activity I had to do and vice versa. I looked at it as broadening my horizons. I think they will be fine. It will be an adjustment but in the long run it will be good for them. Good luck!

I am concerned that the principal in this situation thinks she knows what is better for your children than you do. If she felt strongly about this she should have contacted you before school started. These are your children and you know what is best for them unless the school has some compelling reason from last year that really suggests they shouldn't be together. People have very different opinions about this issue, but my sil (mother of twins) has stuck to her guns and kept her kids together. You definitely have the law on your side, so if you feel it is best I would have them moved to the same class immediately. Good luck and I hope your girls have a great school year.

Hi D.,
I think they are individual children and should be treated as all other individuals. They seem to be very dependent on each other,which I also think you in-advertently encourage. As for making the homework and activities easier,why should the school system make special allowances for twins? Many parents have more than one children and have to go back and forth at homework time. I think you should just encourage them both to be independent,happy kids! They will make friends and be fine. I have a feeling it may be a little harder for Mom than for them! Good luck and hope this didn't sound too harsh. That wasn't my intent. Just my view. Good luck! J. G.

I was a teacher for four years and I was a teacher of an identical twin and my coworker had the other identical twin. I have never heard of identical twins being in the same classroom, so for your girls to have had that chance even for one year was more than most schools do. In life, they are going to go on separate paths, and school is supposed to prepare them for life in many ways. I am not trying to be harsh at all and I sympathize for you and the fact that you are a single mom trying to juggle work and your time with your girls. I am sure that it is time-consuming but that is part of having two. I think in the long run, this is the most beneficial thing. They can spread their wings and have some independence from each other during the day and yet come together during the evening at home. Hang in there, Mama!

I am a twin and we were always put in separate classes. We were in a very small school so we saw each other quite a bit throughout the day. My mother I believe, probably felt the same way you do and all throughout our lives tried to encourage me to play w/her (even though I did all day at home)even when I had my own friends. We may be different than some twins, but we have very different personalities and enjoy being around different types of people (especially now). We are still best friends, just very different. Now I look back and realize that my mom did her a big disservice. She never really learned how to depend on herself and always sort of looked up to me almost like I was the big sister. This doesn't sound like your twins, but I'd just watch out for one kind of watching over the other. I'd more encourage the different personalities by letting them wear different clothes than the other, having separate friends, and I think separate classes as well. You know what's best, though. This is just my 32 years of experience as a twin...maybe we were just disfunctional?? :) Good Luck!!

All parents of twins have the RIGHT, because it is a law, to do as you, the parent, wishes when it comes to placement of your twins. A twin bill was passed in 2007 in the state of Texas that acknowledges parents know their children best and the parents have the right to decide how their twins are placed. So no public school can MAKE you split your twins. Remind the school that you are very informed of twins rights according to the Texas Legislature and they don't want to make that mistake.

My personal opinion is to split. I taught for 4 years, plus i have 5 year old twin girls. It's human nature to compare siblings, especially identical twins. But that doesn't mean seperation has to happen in Kindergarten. Be strong.

It seems as if your problem is no longer your girls' classroom situation, but rather the fact that you feel the principal deceived you.

The easiest way to address this is to meet with her. Be completely pleasant, no matter what you're feeling. Pleasant doesn't mean "pushover."
Tell her that while you won't push for reassigning the twins, your concern is you feel she was deceptive in not informing you up front what her professional opinion was. Ask her why she didn't.
REGARDLESS OF HER ANSWER, tell her you understand that she could feel that way. Then GENTLY expsay, "In the future, I know we both want to be partners in the education of the girls. We each bring something important to the table. I believe we'll need to move forward with the expectation of honesty and professionalism. Don't you agree?"
It's important that she not feel confronted or challenged-- she will, after all, most likely be in your life for the next 5 years.
But it's also perfectly acceptable for you to expect that she'll be honest and upfront about her intentions.
Keep in mind-- her professional opinion turned out to be right. And your twins were wise enough to recognize it. (I was VERY impressed with their ability to reason and accept the fairness of the situation-- good job, mom!!!)
I can tell that you're attempting to raise your girls so that they aren't ruled by (transitory) emotions, so I know you're on the right path!!!
J.

Although, I am not a twin mom, as a mother to 5 children and former elementary teacher, I would say it is best to allow your girls to be in separate classrooms. I know it has probably been a comfort to you, knowing that if they are away from you while at school, at least they are together. However, I also think it is very important to allow your girls to be individuals, to get to know their own abilities, interests, etc. And I think you will find, that you too will learn so much more about each of your children and grow closer in your relationships with each of them as individuals. I do understand that there is something very uniquely different about twins and the relationship they have with one another, but I also know that EVERY child is an individual with individual needs, interests, etc. I think separate rooms will be very healthy for your family. As for the homework situation, I personally was never a huge advocate for giving a lot of homework to my second graders. I either had brilliant kids who didn't benefit from homework assignments, kids whose parents didn't care, and just had yet another opportunity to fail, or kids whose parents completed their homework for them. I just never saw a lot of benefit from it for anyone. That being said, I don't know your teacher's belief on this or how much homework she sends home, but in any average/normal homework situation, your girls should be able to complete the assignments on their own for the most part. Homework is not intended to be a teaching tool, just reinforcement and practice for what has already been taught. Therefore, you should not be spending more than a few minutes each night with each child. Also, remember, you do have TWO children, not just a SET of children; therefore, as parents I think we just need to expect to be responsible for spending time with again, each INDIVIDUAL child, as difficult as it is in our busy lives.
These are just my opinions. In the end, you're the mom. And even after hearing everyone else's opinions, in your heart, YOU know what your own children need, and I know you will make the best decisions for them. Good luck! You're an awesome mom! And I especially applaud you for running the race of parenthood solo. Many blessings to you and your family!

I am a teacher in public schools and have had several twins in my class throughout the years. From my experience, I agree with the philosophy of your principal at your children's school. The girls are very close and will always have each other when they are at home, but they need their own space at school to develop their own personalities and make friends. They are not two parts of one person. They are two individuals.
It is probably harder on you for them to be in different sections as it will mean that they have different expectations and assignments due, but that is a part of life. Hopefully the school placed them in two class sections that do things together occasionally or that compliment each other.
If the girls are each happy in their section, I would not upset the apple cart, so to speak. I would let them be. I think you will be pleased with how they do apart. It won't hurt their closeness or bond.

I am a retired teacher of 26 years and a mother of identical twins. I understand what you are going through, but it actually is better for them to be in different rooms. They recognize their own identity and after awhile they appreciate their independence. When our girls went to college they went to different schools in different towns because they wanted to be known as themselves, not one of the twins. Hope this helps.

D., I am not a twin, but I did attend school with several sets. The ones I knew the best were in separate classes with the exception of choir. They loved being in separate classes and had separate friends. They were still very close to each other all through school. I think your girls would benefit from being in separate classes as many other posts have suggested.

One poster mentioned that you should check the school's policy and if it is policy to have them in separate classes you might have a difficult time changing it. However, no matter what the policy of the school or district is, you have the right to dispute it according to Texas Legislation. I've copied HB 314 for your reference. Please take note that you must make your request IN WRITING no later than 14 days after the start of school. The only two reasons the school can deny your request are noted in Section D & Section G of the bill. This was passed into law in 2007.

*********************
H.B. No. 314

AN ACT
relating to the classroom placement of multiple birth siblings in public schools.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS:
SECTION 1. Subchapter B, Chapter 25, Education Code, is amended by adding Section 25.043 to read as follows:
Sec. 25.043. CLASSROOM PLACEMENT OF MULTIPLE BIRTH SIBLINGS.
(a) In this section:
(1) "Multiple birth sibling" means a twin, triplet, quadruplet, or other sibling resulting from a multiple birth.
(2) "Parent" includes a person standing in parental relation.
(b) The parent of multiple birth siblings who are assigned to the same grade level and school may request in writing, not later than the 14th day after the first day of enrollment, that the school place the siblings in the same classroom or in separate classrooms.
(c) Except as provided by Subsection (d) or (g), a school shall provide the multiple birth siblings with the classroom placement requested by the parent.
(d) At the end of the first grading period following the multiple birth siblings' enrollment in the school, if the principal of the school, in consultation with the teacher of each classroom in which the multiple birth siblings are placed, determines that the requested classroom placement is disruptive to the school, the principal may determine the appropriate classroom placement for the siblings.
(e) A parent may appeal the principal's classroom placement of multiple birth siblings in the manner provided by school district policy. During an appeal, the multiple birth siblings shall remain in the classroom chosen by the parent.
(f) The school may recommend to a parent the appropriate classroom placement for the multiple birth siblings and may provide professional educational advice to assist the parent with the decision regarding appropriate classroom placement.
(g) A school district is not required to place multiple birth siblings in separate classrooms if the request would require the school district to add an additional class to the grade level of the multiple birth siblings.
(h) This section does not affect:
(1) a right or obligation under Subchapter A, Chapter 29, or under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (20 U.S.C. Section 1400 et seq.) regarding the individual placement decisions of the school district admission, review, and dismissal committee; or
(2) the right of a school district or teacher to remove a student from a classroom under Chapter 37.
SECTION 2. Section 25.043, Education Code, as added by this Act, applies beginning with the 2007-2008 school year.
SECTION 3. This Act takes effect immediately if it receives a vote of two-thirds of all the members elected to each house, as provided by Section 39, Article III, Texas Constitution. If this Act does not receive the vote necessary for immediate effect, this Act takes effect September 1, 2007.

*********************

I am a twin who was in separate classes from my identical sister and it definitely fostered a sense of self and independence in both of us. You definitely should not keep them together. Yes, they are twins, but they are individuals, and they need to learn to rely on themselves and make their own friends. My sister and I grew up with separate friends and mutual friends, and we are very close now and always have been (we're 40). They can not live their lives if they stay so attached to each other. Don't change them just because it would be more convenient for you - and yes, I do understand how hard it is being a single mom because I am one as well. Have them help each other with their work - I bet they have strengths and weaknesses that will offset each other's....

If nothing else works. Try to make the homework time a collaborative effort. Maybe the girls would enjoy doing their homework together. Do numbers with together, then sounds as a family. It would cut your stress. No more going back and forth. Maybe this would take less time than the back and forth. It definitely wouldn't hurt them to practice both every day.

I have younger twin brothers. I'm sure this was a tough decision for my parents too. In school, first grade for sure, maybe kindergarten, they were in separate classrooms. I think it was good for them. They are grown men now and still very close. Though twins, they are individuals. I think I would leave them in different classes. They are going to have to split in middle school or high school...maybe better/easier now than later.

I know it's hard, but it really is best for them to develop their own identity outside of being twins. This is the time to do it, and it will ultimately allow them to be even closer.

hi,

I am an identical twin. I'm older now and have a family of my own now. My sister and I were in the same class in Kindergarten and then in seperate classes starting in 1st grade. I am glad we were in seperate classes. It kind of gave us our own identities. We still had the same friends though and played sports on the same teams. My sister and I ended up going to different colleges and it was the hardest thing in the world. Your girls are lucky though because they will always be best friends. My sister lives in Seattle and I am in Haslet, TX and we talk on the phone like 20 times a day. Just my opinion- keep them in seperate classes....

OK you already have 60 responses, but I could not help chiming in. I have 2 sets of twins; 5 yr old fraternal and 2 yr old identical. My 5 yr old girls have been together from MDO to preschool. I am all for separation and my husband is upset about it. I have noticed that one of the twins has been suffering quietly; she seems to have little interest in her studies but I, as mom, believe it is because her sister is quick with the answers and it frustrates her and makes her feel stupid so she pretends to have no interest. Of course as a mom you know your child better and know what's best. Part of your issue though may be that your children expected to be together and then they were not. I know for my children that they are so nervous that a sudden change like that would have made them very upset. I told them for months they would be separate and acted like it was the most natural thing in the world and they have not noticed anything different. I think you should be able to make your own decision, but since the girls have indicated they might actually be comfortable with the situation, give it a week and see how all of you feel. Really give some thought to whether one might overshadow the other. And believe me that I feel for you as a single mom with twins. My husband travels a lot and when he is here does not really help that much, and I am expected to make as much or more from working as before children. (which I am not able to do) So I do understand your stress level, and it may just be that the way it was handled and the sudden change is what really upset you the most, also, so step back and see how it goes before making your final decision. good luck.

I went through the same issue with my twin 6 yr old girls...they were separated in Kindergarten, now in 1st grade. At first we had the separation anxiety, but now they have even more independance, more friends, better self esteem as far as being total individuals. The separation did not affect their closeness at all, they now feel like they can cope with their sister doing things without them without feeling like "their blankie is missing". We have triplets in our school as well as quite a few twins in our school...must be something in the water...lol. but all is well, keep them separate in school and together at home. As far as homework, I found that they actually participated in each others homework and when they got to the others work in class, they felt ahead of the game...you will get use to it...good luck with it..they and you will be fine!

I don't have twins, but my friend had them and went thru this. You say they are very independent, but it sounds like they are independent "together". Maybe separating them in school at a young age will help them not be so dependent on each other in situations like this. There are going to be times that they can't do everything together, and it may be harder on them later to separate if they don't learn it now. They can still play together at recess and then be together after school, but they will have their own identity in the classroom. I'd give it a fair run and see how it goes. It's only been one day.

I have a friend that has twins, and she finds they preform better in separate classrooms. This may be the norm, but not the best for your girls. Express your concerns with principal if she will not give in, ask her to revisit the issue in 30 days.

Good luck!

At the elementary school where I sub 2-3 days a week, twins are in separate classes.

I don't know of any parents at our school who wanted them together. I know most of the families and children there well since I sub so often and only at that school. Of course they see each other at recess and lunch and many times PE as well.

If it were me, I would want them in different classes so that they could expand as individuals.

Best wishes to you!

I don't have twins, but have always been aware of the policy that siblings are not to be in the same class. Call the district and ask what the policy is. If there is a policy in place, it would be extremely difficult to change it, or for them to make an exception. Sounds like you need to be wise with your time and energy, because they need every drop of it.

Hi, D., I am a kindergarten teacher. I have encountered a similar situation, these twins were fine because they were still able to "socialize" and interact during the school day (which I believed-helped. However, your babies even though they are close twins are still TWO individuals, this experience, believe it or not will prepare them for the "outside". Even know they have a while, eventually they will have seperate interests, friends, etc, etc,. I say if they are willing than flow with it. You have to be strong, by example, they will roll with it if you are fine as well.It will take some time, I think that if the certainty that they can see each other for that reassurance, than, they should be able to. Talk with the teachers to see, but explain to the girls know they cannot take advantage of it (they'll be going all the time, disturbing the others class). Hope this is helpfull.

I have fraternal twins that just started pre-k yesterday. I don't have to worry about them being together, because my kids are in a small school with only one classroom per grade, but if I wanted them together, and they split them up, I would be LIVID, the principal, who doesn't know your children like you do, doesn't have the right to "not honor" your request. If you want them in the same room, then put them there, and if the school won't do it, I would find one that would. Transfering a student to a different district in the state of Texas is easy, we do it every year, because we don't live in the district our kids go to school in. We just fill out a paper and the deed is done, and most schools are happy for the extra enrollment, as you said, you have very limited free time and its much easier for you if their activities, parties, assemblies, programs, etc are at the same time and same place. It's far easier on you, and for them to have the same stuff to do, then they aren't stressing about you having to split yourself in two trying to do it all.

HI D.

I have both situations...I am a mom to triplets and a teacher. Funny thing this year I have two sets of twins...but in seperate rooms. Here is the best way to put it. Sooner or later you girls will have to be in seperate rooms. And believe me sooner is better than later. When the principal says for their social skills I don't think she means making friends, she means becoming an individual. Each girl needs to find themself away from their sibling. They need to have their own friends, style, likes, dislikes and so on. Then together they have their things. It isn't easy because you want your girls together they are twins...but when my girls go to school (they are only 6 months) I want them seperate, I want them to find themselves outside of being the "triplets". They find comfort in each other but they need to find it in themself. Trust in what the school is doing. My school seperates them in first too. They don't do it to spite you or anything they are seriously doing it for their own good. But in the end it is your choice...just now that sooner or later it will have to happen and you won't have a say in it.

I agree that they need to be separated. I know it is difficult on you and maybe some on the girls. But it will be good in the long run. I know the back and forth runs you ragged but that would happen even if they weren't twins. I'm sure the school was not trying to be disrespectful of your wishes but they do have many parents and kids and many requests. I say give it some time. It is good for the girls to find their own friends and their own space. It is great they are so close and that sister bond will only help them tackle this new adventure.

My girls are 6 1/2 and just went into the first grade. I had them stay together in pre-k, but took the advice of their teacher about kindergarden. My girls are very close and identical also. Olivia is my oldest twins and morgan 2nd. Olivia is my little mommy, and help with everything I do. When morgan needed help with something in, she's raise her hand, and the teacher said she's be with her in a min. Well Olivia just got up and helped her. It wasn't her job to help. Morgan is my co-dependant . So in kindergarden they asked me if I wanted them seperated, and I said yes. I was nervouse and scared, but they told me that they could see each other at lunch, recess and p.e. They got to see each other through out the day, but learned how to grow without having to depend on each other.

I think it's for the best that they stay seperated. The one that's wanting to be in the class with her sister, is probably your co-dependant and wont do anything without her sister. It's better for her to learn now how to cope without her sister around her all the time. It will make her stronger and bring out her indevidulallity <sp). It's a good thing. It will also help any of the fighting or bitckering they do at home. The one that wants to stay in her classroom sounds like she wants to have the chance to do it on her own.

Most teachers work along the same guidlines and stay around the same plans. It's a pain.. let me tell you, but it out weights the benifit of your child finding themselfs. :) It really is a good thing. Hope this helps

It sounds to me as if the principle is right they do need some time seperate. if one was crying for the other then they may indeed need some seperate time. and one year is not going to hurt them infact it may help to build strong character independance. This could be a blessing. they still have each other but this way they can make their own independant choices, friends and shine in their own environment with out having to share the spot light for once. I think its the right thing to have them in seperate class rooms.

HTH
A. J

I was a teacher before becoming a sahm and I have twin nephews that are very close.

I would wait out the week and talk to the girls again. If they one twin still wants to go to be in her sister's class, I would tell the principal. Hopefully, the principal will see that you did as she asked and waited a trial week.

I think later on, it MAY be a good idea for the girls to be in seperate classes, but you would be the best judge of that, along with some input from their teacher. They are still young and have plenty of time to learn some independence from each other, imo.

I think the school would only have a problem with it if the girls were too dependent on each other in class or were disruptive.

Good luck momma, I hope your girls have a great 1st grade year!

Hi... I am teacher AND a twin, and I am all for separation. I know it is easier on YOU to have them together, but it is really and truly better for them to have their own space...where "Jane" can be "Jane", and not "Sally's twin sister". While it is very special to be a twin, they each need to have their own identity, too. I think you will find that they will appreciate being independent from one another. The will be more confident in their OWN abilities, and develop their OWN personalities. They will make more good friends, too, if they are not always together. Other children may not gravitate to them if they feel there is "no room" for them. It's hard to penetrate a package deal!

As hard as it is on YOU, emotionally and time wise, it will be great for them. It will increase their self-esteem, independence, and social confidence. The one daughter who still wants to be with her sister may especially need the separation. She may feel like her sister is part of her...that she is not her own person without her sister. They each need to experience things on their own to have their own identities, and to KNOW that they CAN ACCOMPLISH lots of things without the other.

In my opinion, it will make them even closer. They will grow to love and respect eachother for the individual qualities that make each of them the person that they are...and not just because they were born at the same time and were always together. Let them be their own little people. :) Believe me, when my brother and I were separated in 1st grade, I WAS DEVASTATED! He was my security blanket and, while WE never met a stranger either, I found that I was shy by myself. I didn't know if I could handle it all without my sidekick. We were a team. TOGETHER we made friends...Would I be able to make any without him? TOGETHER we were cute...Would people like me if I wasn't "the twins"? Well, that lasted about a week and then we were both fine. We stayed separated from then on...until we went to college together. We remain the best of friends today.

Take a deep breath and just go with it. You won't regret it. GOOD LUCK!

I totally agree that at 1st grade it is time for them to split up. My SIL's twins they did the same thing. In K same class but 1st grade on they've been in seperate classes. At 1st it was a little weird for them but after the 1st few days of getting used to they love having their own friends and "space". My SIL is also a teach and said it's quite common that in 1st grade they try and split multiples up. Close friends of mine are doing the same thing, the boys just started K and are together but will be split next year as well.

Hi D.,

I hope all is well, sorry you are going through this! But I have to tell you that in my experience as a KG and first grade teacher it is always better to seperate twins and 3 sets of triplets in my experience, I have never once had any in the same class...it really does allow for them to become independent, even if you think they are already pretty indeepndent. Out of 16 sets of twins in my teaching experience, I haveIf one was crying because she wanted to see the other, then they aren't as independent as you might believe.

This is also good for future seperation of one's "self" from the other...and allows for them to become their own person and have their own friends.

Sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but hopefully I gave you some input from the other side.

Have a great day and I'm the girls will be fine in a few days once they start making friends.

As a former teacher, I agree that they need to be separated. It may be difficult at first, but they will adapt and it will be better for them in long run. I know it is difficult with the homework, but as they get older, hopefully they will become more independent and not need your help as much.

I experienced twins in my classroom and it ended up being the best thing to separate them. It made it easier for them not to be dependent on each other.

Hi D.,

I do have twin girls who are in 1st grade this year. They are not identical, but they are very close. We actually homeschool. Although our decision to homeschool wasn't based solely on the girls having to separate when they started school, it was a factor. Our school separates all twins and although my girls adore each other and have separate friends and are very independent of each other, the bottom line is they love each other and there is peace for them in knowing the other one is nearby even if they are playing with other people. So I think Mom/Kids know best and the school does not have a right to make that decision without including the parent. I definitely think separation in school is a good idea, but I think that grade is different for each family and you as the Mom know best. Since there is now a law supporting your rights, you decide what is best. I am sure if the girls stay separated they will be fine, but that isn't the point and the school should have contacted you in advance so your girls could have been prepared. Not even adults like things sprung on them, but we expect kids to just deal. I disagree with the way it was handled. If you think they are fine, then leave it alone, but if you think they need another year together, then cite the bill that was recently passed and do what you think is right for your girls.

Good luck!
Tamara

You talked to your children they said they didn't want to change. You got an answer but it sounds like you didn't get the one you wanted. It is very simple you do nothing which is what your daughters want you to do. You monitor the situation through these daily or weekly sit downs.

I understand what you are saying, however, I think if it were me, I'd leave it alone. The girls are happy for the most part. It's just the first day of school. This will become a routine by next week or so. If you make a big deal out of it, they will make a big deal out of it. The school's know what they are doing "sometimes" in situations like this. Let them teach. They have dealt with twins long before you had any. Let them do their job and see what happens. The girls may flourish in ways you never could foresee. It will be good for them to have outside influences and new friends. As far as homework, I know very few homes which get to work on the same project with all children at night. You have been fortunate in that respect before now. I always had a 3 year difference between kids and the homework nights could be awful before we discovered tutoring as they got older. Hang in there, mom. The school is not doing this to be mean. They are wanting your children to blossom to their full potential. Give it a go and watch what happens. Good luck!

I have not read the responses, but I will say that I am a teacher (the younger grades). I think that twins should be separated. It may not be what you want, or think is best, but - and I'm not trying to be rude! - sometimes we as parents really do not know what is best.

From an educator's standpoint, I think that you should encourage them to be happy where they are and not to act mad or upset. They are two separate people, and really do need to learn how to deal with life that way. They still have each other, but they do not need to be in class together. Please believe that the school IS doing what they feel is best for your child academically, emotionally and socially.

I think i would insist on them being in the same class move the one who likes thinks they need to be together to the little girls room that likes the teacher they will be much more secure I think the Principle just want s to show you whoses boss and i would show her whose the boss of my children!! Sorry im a go getter when it comes to school!! YOur girls will always get along better if they can continue to spend lots of time together and if they always have different schedules how will that be possible?

I'm an identical twin. It may be best to let them have seperate classes. The thing I remember most from when I was little (i'm 40 now) was that I was never B. just twin. It took years for me to feel like my own person not just part of another one. Let them grow into the special unique people they are.

B.

I have twin daughters and went through this exact same thing... I have a lot of experienice ,but it would take me forever to type it and I am working, but would love to share with you my thoughts and how it worked out well for my girls who are now in 7th grade and doing wonderfully...
if you would like to call me some time, my number is ###-###-#### N. : )

I am a single mom of twins also, but I have a boy/girl. They have been separated since kindergarten and it has been a blessing. They both are outgoing and are developing great social skills and are learning not to depend on each other for everything. It was very hard at first with different homework and projects due but in the HEB School district they separate all twins. And our school has 3 sets of twins in my childrens grade level.

I know it is very hard and frustrating at times but now I have two independent children who just turned 10.

Good Luck!

My friend has twins who are now in 3rd grade. They shared a teacher in kindergarten, but haven't shared a teacher since. She said she is so glad that she didn't fight the battle. Her kids are both excelling. At first, she said it was difficult to balance the homework, but all parents who have more than one school-aged child have to balance the homework from different teachers.

That is an outrage that the Principal would do this to you. She is not the Mom. I would go to the Counselor, and have a meeting with the 2 teachers, and have the one daughter who doesn't mind to be moved to the other's class room. We as parents have the obligation to defend our children. I let a time when it was up to me slip by and I regret it, and now the teacher is free to discipline as she sees fit.

I agree with Jenna. You have done an excellent job raising your girls and you should be proud of their ability to express themselves and asses situations.

I have twin boys and just recently quit my job as a deaf eductaor so I know both the perspective of parent of twins and as educator. I am sure that the professionals at your daughters school have decided that it would be best for their education to seprate them. This year with them being in seperate classes will show you, your girls, and the school on wether that decision is accurate.

That being said, the principal should of discussed the opinions of the teachers who came to this decision with you prior to school starting. You are a team and she knew you requested them to be together in the same class. You need to be on the same page with them. I agree with Jenna that you need to talk with the principal and she gave good suggestions on how to do that effectively.

I am sure your girls will do great. Don't worry about the extra work on your part. Remember, you have two children and if they had been born in seperate years they would be doing different work as well. This year should tell you and the educators in their lives if they truly do do better seperate or not. Situations change all the time and some times they might do better apart and sometimes they might be better together. the important thing is the school is communicating with you.

My son goes to school with 3 sets of twins and they have always been separated. The thinking on behalf of the school and teachers is that the children will become more independent and make their own friends. Although I am not a mom of twins, I see the value in doing this. Keep an open mind - in the long run it will really help them.

Hi D.,

I'm going to concur with nine out of the ten responses that you've received so far. It may make life a bit more difficult for you but it will be tremedously better for your daughters to let them stay in separate classes. I am a "former" teacher and a mom to twin boys.

Early in my teaching career, I had a twin and my neighboring teacher had his brother. Every morning, they would hug and tell their goodbyes with a few tears involved for one of them but each would go into his own class and was perfectly fine the rest of the day. They always saw each other at lunch and recess so it wasn't like they were kept from each other for hours a day. My student's mom told me that separating the boys dramatically increased their behavior at home because they missed each other during the day so when they got home in the evening time, they actually enjoyed each other instead of arguing.

Also, when I was in high school (I graduated in 1990), there was a set of twin girls in my graduating class that had never really been separated (this was small town AL) and I have to tell you, they were the wierdest girls I have probably ever met in my life. I know about the whole twin bond thing, but these two girls had absolutely no life or friends outside of each other. It seemed very unhealthy to me even being 16 or 17 at the time.

It is my intention to go ahead and separate my boys next year in their first year of preschool. Some may say that's too early but I think it's best to make the transition before they even get to kindergarten. They need to make their own friends (and some together), they need to learn to be independent like every other singleton in the class and they need to be considered an individual - not part of a twosome. I know that will mean different homework over the years and different parties and so on but that's the fact of life with multiples. I didn't ask for two but God blessed be with an extra kid anyway! LOL

Best wishes, it really will be fine. It's hard to let go and let these little ones grow up and experience challenges in their lives but it really is necessary to their development and success in handleing obstacles later on in their lives.

From the standpoint of a teacher, I agree with the decision to separate them. (I don't agree with them keeping it a secret though!)

You said that they are independent, but if one was crying for the other, than they obviously are not as independent as they need to be. I've taught 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades and I have never had a set of twins or any other closely related children in the same class. They will be fine. It may be an adjustment, but in the end, they will be better off.

I hope this helps!

As a former teacher, I agree they should be seperated. They need their own space even if they may not like it at first. Since they are in the same school and grade, many of the activities should be the same and as for homework, parents who have children in different grades already deal with different assignments and different areas that are being taught. I say leave them were they are and let them have some time to make their own friends and relationships and experiences without their twin around. Good luck and I have so much respect for you because you are a single mother of 2 children. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. God bless!!!

I think it would be probably best for them to learn to be separate from each other. This is a chance for them to lead (in a minor way) lives in which they are not "the twins" but each their own unique person. It'll be a rough transition, but well worth it for them to learn they have value as one- not just because they are two...

just my 2 cents.

I understand where you are coming from, I wouldn't want to take them apart BUT, from the other side of the fence what are you going to do when they get older, they will be seprated sooner or laterweather it be now or in high school. Children need this to develope who they are I was married to a man who had twin brothers and they hung out together all the time now that they are older i can see why they seprate the children, tehy need to make their OWN friends. It was harder for the twins when they got up in middle school and high school when one wanted to go on a date the other one wanted to go and the twin going didnt want him to. I agree with the princable, The children will be fine it just like when you drop them off at school they are going to go thur the same thing til they get use to it. BUT, I think they should have been up front with you when you ask them teh first time. Good luck with this.

T.

My husband is a twin and he and his sister are very close. They were put in separate classrooms as well in kinder or 1st. It ended up being a good thing. Twins, from what I understand, are usually so close that they have a hard time separating, but need to learn to eventually. I think 1st grade is an acceptable time for them to do this. I would just keep the communication open for the next few weeks about this with the school and your daughters and see how they do. If it ends up they absolutely can't handle it, then I would demand they be put in a class together, but it sounds like it's just a convenience issue and not worth ruffling feathers at the school over.
Good luck!

Govenor Perry signed a lae into effect last year that said that parents have the say in whether to split up their twins or not. The school only has the final decision if the twins are a behavior problem or a disturbance when they are together.

I have identical twin girls that are 4. They are also very close. I plan to keep them in the same grades in elementary at least.

L.

My fraternal twins have always been in separate classrooms, even in Kindergarten. I feel that it is important for them to develop their own identities and not always be a unit. They have always been fine with it, but then I have been up front with them that they would not be in the same class. They are always excited at lunch and recess when they get to see each other. While I want my girls to be close, I also want them to develop their own talents and friends and not be limited to what the other's interests are. I would make the best of it and keep them separated. Even if it is harder on you with the homework, it will not be long before they are able to do the homework without so much supervision.

I am a former teacher and have seen this handled both ways. There were times when we split up twins because we felt that one was maybe holding the other back from truly showing her/his talents, participating, etc. This was always discussed with the parent before hand, though, so they were in on the reasoning behind it and part of the decision-making process. So, I am surprised that the school did not talk to you first, particularly because you had specifically asked that they be placed together.
I think that, if I were in your shoes, I would make an appointment with an administrator to discuss more about why the decision was made (and maybe why you were not notified in advance.) Understanding their thinking may help you to make the decision on whether to move one of the girls or not. In addition, I might talk to the administrator about the girls having different homework. I know that when I taught we were encouraged to have similar (if not identical)homework across the grade level to help with comparisions not just between twins but neighbors, etc. If nothing else, they should at least be able to arrange it so their 2 classes do major activities (field trips, performances, etc) on the same night.

Ultimately, I think parents know better what is best for their children 99.9% of the time. I would get as much information as I can about the situation (talk to the girls, their teachers, the principal or another administrator, maybe even a friend of the girls) and then use that information to help you decide what to do. (You might even talk to the Kindergarten teacher and see if she has any insight on whether she thinks there are advantages/disadvantages of splitting the girls up.) Every situation with twins is different and what works for one child, may not work for another. The school should work with you to help you determine the best course of action for your children and to help them be successful. Don't be afraid to advocate for your children. When you go into the meeting, you may want to bring notes so that you can be sure to calmly explain your concerns, what you think is best, and how you can work together with the school to make it the best year possible. Hope that helps! Best wishes.

I feel everything happens for a reason. Maybe you should take this as a sign. By keeping them joined at the hip is not healthy for them. Just because they are twins doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't have their separate classes. I'm sure it will be tough in the beginning due to it sounding like you've always kept them together. Just like a child who deals with separation anxiety from a parent. But it is important for their proper development. I think you would be doing them an injustice if you keep them together doing the exact same things all the time. Although your heart is in the right place it's our jobs as parents to help guide our children to develop as an individual. They really need to learn it now before they get any older for it will only be harder. Just reassure them that although it's hard it will get easier and they will be able to see each other at recess and share what they have done so far in class. Good Luck!

I think you should keep them separate - this is the solution that is already in place and that one of your twins has already said is best. If you switch them now they will always think if things aren't perfect they can try to get special treatement. It would be MUCH harder on the teacher and classmates to tell them apart, too. I too had extremely close identical twin girls and they did FINE in separate classrooms starting in kindergarten. When girl scouts started I also had them in separate troops but they were always on the same soccer team. It WILL be harder for you but you owe it to them to start being treated as the individuals they are NOW before they think they can only face social situations as a unit.

I read you question and your second response & you sound like an excellant Mum!!!

I have a step-sister with twins and two friends with twins. They started out with them in same classroom, but eventually they were split into two different classes. It was a blessing for them. Twins seem to be naturally competitive with each other. This helped. Also it helped them form their own idintity. It will take an adjustment period though. The first couple of weeks won't be easy but in the long run it may be a blessing in disguise.
Good Luck!

Hi D.,
I also have twins, but mine are 6 year old identical twin boys. I send my boys to private catholic school...and one of the reasons is that the public school in our area would have separated them in Kindergarten. I can actually have them together thru 4th grade at their school. Like you, though, the school chose to separate them this year for their own social reasons. I did find out and had many discussions over the summer.

We came to a middle ground that they would be in the same class this year and then, separate next year when they were a bit more mature.

I don't think people understand the nature of the 'identical twin bond' and I believe that the parents wishes should be granted. I also have 1st cousins who are identical twins---now they are 30 yrs. old. So, I've been around it all my life.

I think you should go with your gut instinct. Especially since you are a single mom, you need all the help you can get. Any extra help to save you time and energy is what I would shoot for and hopefully, the girls will react favorably to your decision.

Good luck to you. It is nice to know that other people out there have the same issues as you do. I take comfort in that. But, my 6 year old twins are the oldest in my family... I also have a 4 yr. old boy, 3 year old girl and 1 year old boy...for a total of 5 under the age of 6.

Have a good day.
D.

My two oldest children 19 and 18 (girl and boy) they are 13 months apart in age. The oldest had a late birthday so she was held back one year. They are not twins but all their life their bio-mom and her famly has treated them as twins. We (my husband and I) got custody of them when they were in the 3rd grade. Trust me when I say that seperating them NOW is going to be good for them. When 5th grade came around my oldest started developing her own friends and interests that did not include her brother. He has never really recovered. Today he is a Senior in high school and he still has b problem doing things without someone else being with him. Our daughter, now 19, graduated early and has moved off to another state and is doing her own thing.

Seperation will be very good for the girls. It will be a pain for you... but good for them.

D.
SAHM of three (19,18,and 4)

I don't have twins, but I do agree that socially it is good for them to have a little bit of separate time. They can branch out and make new friends independently rather than together. Most likely they have different personalities and each one needs to be developed and nurtured. I think it is awesome that they are so close and spend so much time together. Being apart during school time shouldn't hurt their bond. It will just help them branch out and grow more as individuals, which is something that they each need to do.
J.
J..yoursmh.com
IC

I have been close to different sets of twins all my life. They never put twins together when we were in school and the girls I knew are closer than ever. I go to church with one and a half sets of twins I grew up with. The one set even have to set together to sing in the choir and have always done everything together. The other girl lost her twin last year but they were always close even though they had different sets of friends. I agree they need to be individuals, not 1/2 of 1 person but 2 different people. I would take the time to do homework with each of them so they can get equal attention from Mommy. I had 3 children at different ages and they always had different homework. That's just part of being a mommy. It ain't always about being convenient. But I'm sure they'll be fine in separate classrooms and sounds like they have good teachers so I wouldn't worry.
K.

Wow! Single Mom = Super Mom!
Try not to raise your twins totally co dependent.
Nothing will break their special twin bond.
The kids are two different indivudials and should not be thought of as one unit.
Since the twins are identical, teachers and kids at school will also have an easier time telling them apart if they are in different classes.
Good luck and try not to worry .......there is a fine art to picking your battles.

I know you will probably get all sorts of answers to this, but I really think that if they don't have any social problems, it only makes sense for them to be in the same class. Especially if you are a single mom. I would go back to the school and insist that they put them back in the same class.

I am a twin and we were in one of the first years that the schools decided it was better for twins to be seperated in school for their development process. There have been several studies since that shows it doesn't really change the relationship with twins. However, most schools still go by the old idea that it is better to seperate them to help instill independence and identity. I lost my twin about 7 years ago in an accident but until then we were always close and being in seperate classrooms just became a way of life. We still had lunch and recess together and it all worked out.

I am a twin, although much older now but I can remember my school days. We had separate kindy classes but I threw a fit in first grade to be in the same class as my sister. They put me in her class but after that I can remember having our own classes. In high school they put us in every single class together and we hated it. We were trying to be individuals and thankfully I had to get my classes changed and it all worked out.

I think you should leave them in separate classes and see if it works itself out.

Hello,

I am a teacher in a K-12 school, and my school's policy is to separate twins into different classrooms. I think its a good policy, and I do think it helps the twins develop their unique personalities. I'm sure the first day was traumatic for your girls, but they will adjust quickly. If anything, I would say that their tears are an indication that this will be good for them long term ... they should learn how to be away from each other. Also, they will learn from each other by having different teachers and different activities.

Anyhow, you have to make your own decision, but as a teacher, I would recommend allowing the separate classrooms for now and seeing how the girls do. If in one or two months you are still unhappy with the arrangement, maybe you can talk with the principal then. My suspicion is that the girls will have adjusted fine by then, however.

D., I am a twin and from past experience, I can tell you it's best at this young age to have them in the same class. I think it's also better that they develop the same skills at the same time - you certainly do not want competition between the girls due to teachers that have different curriculum styles - it could cause damage as they get older and pit them against each other. Once they mature and get a little older separating them would be beneficial as their interest will surely be different. These are pivotal years and their self esteem and confidence should come first - which will strive better if they have someone on their side from the get go.

Good Luck

L. D

God makes us all different and we are unique in our own way. I have a set of Twin girls who are 14 now. I prayed about that very same thing and the answer I got from God was, They are different and it is our job as parents to make sure they know that. Even though they may seem the same there are 2 different people. Although it was hard I am so grateful that I listened to God. Although they are still very close they understand that they are 2 different individuals. They have their own set of friends and some of the same friends. It is not healthy for them to think that they have to do EVERYTHING together and be in the same place with each other at the same time all the time. It's your responsibility to get them to see that they are different but can still be very close. Let me know how you make out. Looking forward to an update.

I'm a twin Mom too. My boys are only 1y, so I've got some time. I read through what everyone said, and they've made some valid points. I belong to a twin support group, and remembered hearing something about Texas law in regards to twins. There is actually a law that states...parents have the right to choose. Here's the article below. If you want the link, email me.
Texas House Bill HB 314 & Senate Bill SB 403 states that parents have a right to choose their classrooms.

A mother's effort to change state law paid off this week when Gov. Rick Perry signed legislation empowering parents to decide whether twins or multiples are assigned to the same school classroom.

Up until now, school districts had the final say on whether to separate multiples or to place them in the same classroom.

"It's a historic day for parents of multiples as Texas is the 2nd state to pass the 'twin bill,'" Julie Robinson said after Perry signed House Bill 314 into law. .

"I'm so thankful that this law will help all those who have faced opposition with their schools, and all of those who will never have to endure it.

"It is an honor to accomplish this on behalf of all multiples, but it will always be the 'Joshua and Sophie Bill' to me," she said.

Joshua and Sophie Robinson are her two-year-old twins.

Julie Robinson spent more than one year building support for the legislation after she and her husband, Scott Robinson, moved to the Austin area from Houston. She gave Texas lawmakers a petition with more than 1,700 signatures of parents of multiples supporting the bill.

Many school principals require parents to separate twins despite any research validating such policy, Robinson said.

During a legislative committee earlier this session, Sen. Kyle Janek, R-Houston, asked: "Doesn't it strike you as odd that we have to change state law to make this happen?"

The new law authorizes parents to request that the school place multiple birth siblings in the same classroom or in different classrooms. Such a request must be honored unless the placement is determined to be disruptive or the placement would require additional classes.

hi D.
I am 37 yr old with a fraternal twin sister. We were in Kindergarden together because there was only 1 class. Thru the rest of school we were never in the same class. It was good because we made more friends that way. We learned some independence (I was a bit shy)(sounds like one of your daughters needs to learn more independence too)
If your kiddos were not twins, they would be in different grades, with 2 seperate homeworks. So my advice is leave them in seperate classes. Plus this teaches them to honor the principal (the person in charge) My sister and I are very close even though we have kids of different ages and stages of life. My prayer is that your twins will also be best of friends.
B.

I have no experience with twins, but I do have advice about the homework situation!

In '88 or '89, Dr. Foster Cline, the author of LOVE AND LOGIC came to speak at Willis Lane Elementary School in Keller. I will never forget his description of "helicopter parents" who constantly rescue their children. He said you can always spot the helicopter parents, because they are the ones who pull up to the school 30 minutes after the bell and rush in with a forgotten sack lunch or book or band instrument. He said that once you make something YOUR business, it will always be YOUR business. He adviced that it is better to stop "rescuing" the kids now, when they are little, otherwise you will have to continue rescuing them into young adulthood.

EXAMPLES of NOT RESCUING: "Oh, I am so sorry you forgot to tell me you had a project due tomorrow. We don't have any posterboard, and I am already in pajamas and heading to bed. Perhaps you can use a grocery bag and cut it open into a big sheet of brown paper! Or, perhaps you can come up with another idea. I am sure you can. Good night!" OR "Oh, I am so sorry you forgot your homework this morning. We are already here at your school. You are just going to have to explain to your teacher why you are turning it in late tomorrow. I am sure she will understand! Love you. See you this afternoon." OR "Oh, I am so sorry you forgot the sack lunch that I made you. Perhaps, the nice lunch lady can loan you a peanut butter sandwich today and you can pay her back from your allowance tomorrow."

Imagine yourself way down the road typing your daughter's high school report on Shakespeare, because she didn't do it, and because she knew you'd help if she really needed your help. Then imagine, your daughter racking up $3000 on a credit card while at college, knowing that you'll rescue and pay it off if she can't. So stop rescuing now. Don't make their homework YOUR business.

I have followed Dr. Cline's advice since my oldest started at Shady Grove Elementary in 1991. It is 17 years later, and I have NEVER regretted "butting out" of their homework "business." I never even asked my children if they had homework! They rarely, rarely asked for my help - - except to drive them to the store to buy supplies like poster board or Model Magic. Some of their projects weren't as PRETTY as the other kids!! LOL. This was the hardest part for me. I am a perfectionist/artist-type. I had to bite my lip sometimes; especially when one 2nd grade girl's dad built an exact replica of the Keller water tower for her town model, and my daughter used shoe boxes with her best hand-writing on the side to represent her town. So hard for me to see the two models displayed side-by-side at Open House! But it was ALL her OWN WORK and she was proud.

Of course, there were times when a child of mine didn't do an assignment because they "forgot." Whenever that happened, I did not rescue or make excuses. Dr. Cline recommends that they suffer NATURAL CONSEQUENCES of their actions. I did not have to punish - - just had to express empathy with their suffering of the NATURAL consequences: "Oooh, staying after school. That's going to be rough. I know you like to watch Pokeman right after school. Too bad, you will have to miss it today." (Back in 1998, when my 3rd-born 3rd-grader had to stay after school for one hour with his teacher, not ride the bus home with friends, and worst of all, miss Pokeman!!! - - he never "forgot" homework again.

As my oldest kids grew into high-schoolers, they took responsibility for their own work and turned it in without any input from mom or dad - - except maybe proof-reading or giving opinions when asked. And now for the PROOF that Dr. Cline's LOVE AND LOGIC works: My first-born started Medical School last week. He decided to go on his own, he worked hard studying for the MCAT on his own, he applied to different schools all on his own, he went and interviewed on his own. He was one of 232 chosen from an applicant pool of 3009!

Believe me, as a young mom, my natural tendency was leaning towards being a helicopter parent. Following Dr. Cline's advice goes against my grain. Even last year, it was hard not to take my youngest's cello up to the school when he forgot it and called me, pleading with me to bring it, so he wouldn't get a zero for his participation grade. I bit my lip - - explained why I really didn't have time that morning, and assured him that I loved him. He didn't forget that cello on music day again. So, LOVE AND LOGIC is hard, but it works!

You've already gotten lots of responses, but I just wanted to add that if you had two children in different grades, you'd have 2 different sets of homework and activities to do after school anyway. I know you want them in the same classroom, but it sounds like they don't have a problem with it and that it would be good for them to be separated so they can become their own selves and not just "one of the twins". And with each of them having their own homework, it will probably give them a chance to learn that much better. Instead of working on their homework together (like you did last year) and having one possibly become more dominant than the other in a particular subject they can work on things separately and if one is stronger in math than the other (or whatever), the other will be less likey to fall behind because they will each be worked with individually, not together. They will each have their strong areas, and it could be easier to develope those separately than together without feelings being hurt or a sense of not being good enough. I hope that makes sense.

I have twins in my church and like Becky said I call them twins or one of the twins. I can't tell them apart and their names are so close J'ln/J'la. At least this way they will have their own identity. The teacher will know the name for the one they are teaching.

I do not have twins, but thought I would play Devil's Advocate. Could it be that the daughter that believes they should be in the same classroom is concerned about her sibling that was crying and is therefore taking on the burden of taking care of her? In other words, it bothered her to see her sister crying and she's asking for the two of them to be in the same class so that she can look out for her.

Here's my humble opinion - I was raised by a single mom who meant nothing but the best BUT I am also a twin and we were constantly lumped together and by high school we started to resent each other. Neither one of us had our own friends, interests, etc so we were in constant competition with each other. At some point your girls are going to need to be their own person and although it may be hard now, I believe you need to start making those sacrifices now (I know it's hard and you are doing an amazing thing). The first post said that the school doesn't "own" your kids, and I agree, but they do have a lot of experience in this area. Ride it out for the first week and see what happens. I really, truly, think in the long run you'll be glad to have them separated now. Start giving them their own identities separate from their twin and you'll give them a chance for a stronger bond later on. Good luck whatever you decide.

I am not a mom of twins, but I have a friend with twins and the first year of kindergarten both her kiddos were split too, she was very disappointed and upset and thus her reaction rubbed off on the children. But as a volunteer at the school, i noticed it was MUCH better for the children to be separated. Remember that grades typically do specials together such as lunch, recess, art, music, library, field trips, etc. They will have time to spend together at school, and remember it's only 6 hours a day and then they are back home TOGETHER again. Their bond will not weaken, it will only make them stronger to learn to be dependent on themselves and not each other for every situation.

The school purposely waits until the last minute to announce class assignments so they don't have to handle complaints from 600 parents four days before school starts about how they are unhappy with the teachers their children were placed with. They have more important things to handle when it comes to their job rather than "customer service" (and that was not meant to sound bad) Nor all if any school will make an exception each and every year to have the twins in the same class together. It is the school's job to make sure that they place children with the best teacher/classmates that will help them grow and learn the most effective way. And if they did make the exception this year, what about next year, and the following? Eventually separation will occur in the classroom. When they are younger they have a better chance of adjusting as opposed to when they are older.

I know if you let peace fill within you about this decision made by the school, you will see in a short time that your babies will be doing great. And maybe the one was just upset because you were upset. Our emotions truly to effect how our children react...

Good luck and those little ladies will be just fine, and look at it this way, at least they won't be fighting over the same boy! :)

I think you should insist on what you intended in the first place. Explain to the principal that it would take a lot of stress off of you and the girls at home and give you more time as a single mom to do what you need to do with them. Single parenting is very hard and they have no right to make it harder. YOU are their parent. I just hate it when the schools act like they own our kids and know better than we do what they need. Mine are 23, 18, and 13 now. If I had it to do over, I would be much more assertive with the schools than I was when there was an issue regarding their social/emotional well being. I have always regretted it later if I didn't stick up for what I thought was best. You go girl! Good luck.

in my class i have a set of twins, its hard to keep them apart and i honestly wish they were in different classes b/c it would make their listening habits better. it sounds like the only reason you're wanting them to be in the same class is to make it better on you....i understand that. i think that i would give it some more time to see how both girls react. sooner or later they are going to have to sepereate and be in different classes and i think maybe now is a good time to start. good luck! either way, you'll make a good decision, they are after all your kids!