Should I Keep My Twins Together in K?

There were several sets of twins in my school as I grew up. I know the teachers wanted them separated so that they didn't copy or compete with each other. If they're identical, they'll want to keep them apart so they can tell them apart.
I don't have twins, but my kids look enough alike to pass for twins. They are three years apart and one teacher so far could not stop comparing them. She was a really good teacher but she couldn't help but compare.
It's good for kids to have their own friends, not just siblings, even twins. Good luck! happy holidays.

Well I have twins that are 23 months and I wonder what I will do too. I think you should play it by ear and talk to the school and let them know if there is problems then you would consider seperating them later but give it a try on having them together. That is what I am going to do.
Good luck and congrats having double the fun.
Ang

Hi E. -

I have been on the other end of this decsion and from a teachers point of view, I would seperate them unless the school wants them together for some reason. I taught 2nd grade for several years and had 1 set of twins that the parents insisted be kept together (had been from K) and I had discipline problems with them. We also had a set of twins another year that the parents had seperated for the first time and it was a nightmare. Both of them regressed terribly. Both were non-verbal for quite a while, and the one I had went back to sucking her thumb non-stop and crawling instead of walking around the room. It was months before she would actually speak to us and her classmates and not suck her thumb constantly.

I know you want to keep them together, it seems like the natural thing to do, but I would really consider the 'trama' it could cause later when you do have to seperate them. Plus it's good for them to get to know other kids and have seperate friends. They are, after all, 2 seperate children who will lead seperate lives. They will always be sisters and have that special bond that twins have, but they also need to be individuals and be allowed to develop as individuals.

Good luck in which ever you decide to do. :)
J.

E.,
Hi! While I don't have twins, I have taught kindergarten for several years. We have always recommended twins be in separate classes. This gives each of them the opportunity to be herself without having to be in her sister's shadow. Children are just learning about who they are and who they want to be so it is a great way to be able to explore that without feeling like you are leaving your twin out or failing because you don't do what your twin does. Also, your girls should still have a chance to play at school during recess, but being in separate classes would also give them more opportunity to make their own friends without influence from the other. It seems like there is always one twin that is a little more social and/or confident than the other. Being in their own classes could help each of them to grow independently and develop her self-esteem since they can't rely on each other but learn to trust in themselves and their own unique abilities. They may not do exactly the same activities in each classroom (different art projects, etc.) but sharing what they did during class can be a fun way to wrap up the day on the way home after school. I hope this helps.
K. H.

I am a twin, I have an identical sister. We were always kept in separate classes and although I didn't understand why at first I do now. Twins need to be apart to make their own friends and find out who they are, of course it will be hard, I remember being invited to a birthday party but my sister was not, simply because she wasn't in my class. But then she was invited to something where I was not. It goes back and forth of course. We did have different homework but we liked to help each other out or get involved in the projects we each had to do. We compared teachers and classes just like other friends would together. We did get to be in the same class in third grade and we looked forward to that and had fun. Also in high school we took several classes together, but we usually got in trouble for talking too much, to each other!

My sister has gone on to do several amazing things on her own and is much more independent than I am. Of course I was married for a few years before her so she has done some amazing things that I will probably never get to do like travel internationally and study abroad and teach english in Japan. Of course I am a little jealous but she is jealous of my two boys and is very excited to be pregnant herself after being married now for two years. I am going on and on but I don't think there is any harm in keeping them apart, they will just learn how to make friends on their own. I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping them together but not always. Good luck!

Well, speaking from a twin's perspective:

I have a twin brother. we were very close, so my Mom kept us together. It did pose a problem after a while, my brother was very protective of me and as soon as he saw me struggle, he would come to my rescue! This was great, but I never learned to do anything myself. After that we were seperated and NEVER had another class together ever, which was sad and I think we missed out on alot of togetherness I wish we would of had.

So, I think you have to know your kids and what their personalities are like. But please if it doesn't work out the first year don't let them be seperated forever:(

I am not a twin nor do I have one, but my opinion is that just because they are twins, doesn't mean they are the same person. They are two different people, and they have different personalities and have different likes and dislikes. I was watching Dr. Phil and they had sixtuplets on there, and they asked the kids if they liked being together all the time ..and they said "NO!" You need to let them be appart and experience different things on their own, and interact with different people. Just because they were born together doesn't mean they are going to be together for the rest of their life.

I am not a twin, but I do have a set of "Irish Twins" they are eleven months apart, but I do have an opinion, why not keep them togather for the first year or two and the try seperating them, when they are a little older and able to understand why they need to be seperated, I do think at some point they need to go out into the world as individuals, but I don't think it is necassay(sp)to force the issue at 5,6 or 7. Just a thought.

Hi E. -
I've got the same dilemma! My twins are in their 3rd year of Montessori preschool, and will be starting kindergarten in the fall. We're looking at moving for my job, and I'm really leaning to keeping them together, at least for the kindergarten year. My thought is that, especially if we're in a new place and they don't have all their friends around, I don't want to force a separation on them and add another disruption to their life. I've discussed this with their preschool teacher, and she agrees with me. Whenever I've observed them at their school, I see them playing individually. They really don't interact with one another very much at school - maybe because they have enough of each other at home!
I would suggest talking to your girls' preschool teacher and getting her opinion on their interaction in the classroom, since she's with them every day. If they interfere with each other learning or developing other friendships, then maybe it would be a good idea to separate them. If they do well and have friends other than each other, ask the girls what they want to do. When we get to the point where we have to decide what to do for kindergarten, I will definitely be asking my girls if they want to be in the same class or in different ones. I just don't want to separate them because that's the school policy - I'd rather have their wishes, temperaments, and needs considered on an individual basis.
Good luck!!

I do not have twins, however, my sense of twins is that they have such a special bond that they should be capable even at four to let you know what they would be most comfortable with. You are right they are blessed to have been born with a best friend and that can be so helpful to their emotional well being. I don't advocate doing everything a child requests, however, in this particular case it just seems that only they will know what is best for them. I hope this helps.

Our boy/girl twins are special needs. They were seperated in preschool due to different problems, but then had to be put in the same kindergarten because there was only one special needs class at the school. They did ok in both situations, but seem to like it better when they are separate. Talk to them, ask them if they would like to be together or not. Go with what you feel ok with. the school cannot force you to go either way (they may say they can, but you can talk to the principle and present your view.)

No,No and no. I have identical twin girls in Kindergarten right now. They are in seperate classes and they love it. they were in preschool last year together and most if not all of the kids and teachers could not tell them apart. They were often referred to as "one of those". We had to make necklaces to help other kids tell them apart. Now that they are in seperate classes they have THEIR OWN IDENTITIES. Their new friends all know that they are a twin but enjoy playing with both of them. Also, they can't work as a team anymore so they are becoming more self-confident and assure of themselves . They still are best friends but enjoy time away from each other. In addition, they learn how to make friends by themselves and improve their social skills and not rely on the other. The have gone to seperate birthday parties and same birthday parties. In my opinion, keeping them together will not help them at all especially since they are same sex. Did you live with your best friend 24/7? That is why best friends usually don't room together in college sometimes too much togetherness is bad. Hope this gives you something to think about.

My daughter goes to K with a set of girl twins. They sit at different tables, but when I help out, it seems like it's good. I say go for it!

I don't have twins myself, but my husband has brothers who are twins. My MIL has often said that she wished that she could keep them in the same class, just because it was so hard when one twin frequently had more homework, or when one got to do something that seemed more fun while the other was left behind. Every teacher does things a little differently, and to little boys the same age, that often seemed unfair in some way or other. Something to consider with this, though, is that my husband's brothers are not identical twins, and their personalities are quite different. They were both always good at making different friends and being away from each other, even before they ever went to school.

I have a friend who has twins and she kept hers together in Kindergarten then separated them in 1st grade. They get along great now having been split and not spending the entire day together. Now I also have a friend who has triplets and they are in 6th grade now and have just now been split up and they fight like cat and dogs.