Transitioning from Co-sleeping to Crib at 14 Months

Updated on July 07, 2012
E.T. asks from Torrance, CA
7 answers

HELP! My 14 month old has been a co-sleeper, but it's time for him to sleep in his crib! I put him in his crib when he falls asleep, but he wakes up a short time later crying. If I pick him up, he'll fall back asleep, but when I put him back in his crib, he wakes up. At this point I get frustrated and bring him to my bed, where he sleeps soundly! Does anyone have any suggestions or methods that might help? Only helpful comments please :) I KNOW he doesn't like the crib and would rather be in my bed close to me!

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

This is the very reason why I NEVER did the co-sleeping thing. Of course he wants to be next to his Momma. Honestly, I can't see any other solution than letting him CIO. If you're not willing to do that, get ready to have a co-sleeper for a lot longer.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Your getting frustrated and putting him back in your bed will just make him continue to cry to get to sleep with you, mom. You have to fish or cut bait. Either leave him in your bed or put him in the crib and leave him there.

He doesn't know how to self-soothe. He doesn't even know how to allow himself to fall asleep. You've done it for him since he was born. So, he's not just going to learn this overnight.

Stop putting him in the crib when he's asleep. Put him down when he's awake. Tell him that no more sleeping with mom. He needs to sleep by himself. Sit down on the floor beside him and touch his leg with your hand through the slats. Don't talk to him. Don't look at him. Let him cry. He'll stand up for a while, but eventually lay down so that he can feel your hand on his leg.

It may take hours for him to do this the first few nights. Stay at it and don't vary AT ALL. If you aren't 100% consistent, it won't work. If you pick him up, he is victorious and will stop at nothing to get you to do what he wants. So no picking him up, no talking, and definitely no putting him back in your bed.

I have seen hundreds of moms on here in the years I've been on MP, begging for advice on how to get kids out of their beds. I don't understand why moms do it in the first place...

Dawn

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

He's old enough to move to a toddler bed. I would set it up by the bed and when he starts to move around to wake up drop your hand down and let him feel it. That way you get your space and he gets used to sleeping in the toddler bed. You can move it to his own room once he is not needing that skin contact anymore.

The earlier you move them to the toddler bed the better. We moved all of our grand kids by 14 or 15 months and they were in it full time sleeping all night by 18 months. Then they moved to big kids beds shortly after turning 2-1 1/2.

I have a lot of years in child care and at about 11 months we start them sleeping on cots so when they move up to the toddler room they are used to sleeping on the cots. They only take one nap in the toddler room too so we started at about 10 months working to getting just one longer nap per day. This is a natural time for me at home to be doing similar changes so they don't have to go through all that again.

It takes time to change a child's patterns. Just be patient.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

He's not ready to be there full-time. Start him with naps in the crib. Also, putting a buckwheat pillow up against the top of his head will make him feel like someone is near...and he'll sleep longer....also, keeping him warm, like in bed is key....we got a down alternative blanket from Costco. They get colder in the crib. (I'm going to get burned at the stake here, but we also put a really soft warm blanket on the bottom, like a nest and that works well.) Bringing the crib right next to the bed, so he can hear your breathing might be helpful, as well.

All of our kids, so far have transitioned out at around 18 months easily...except kid #1. He was almost 3 and I explained that another baby was coming and it was only FAIR that the baby set equal time. He agreed and started sleeping in his own bed all night long. We did transition him at 18 months to a crib mattress on the floor next to our bed, so that when he woke up, we were still right there. My kids never slept well on a crib mattress - you know how hard they are???? We've always transtioned them into a real bed with real sheets and comforters and pillows, just like our bed.

Don't listen to anyone who has not co-slept. I don't give them advice on something I've never done, and they shouldn't give advice in an area they have no experience. It can be easy, but like with anything, it's about that individual child. My kids eat asparagus and broccoli without sauce all over it, many parents don't feel their kids anything but chicken nuggets. We are all different, as are our children.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Try switching to a twin matress on the floor. It worked for me. It's like a modified co-sleeping that's easier to wean from.

I put the crib matress next to the twin so if he rolled out, the "fall" was even shorter than the matress height. It was big enough for me to cuddle with him, and even comfy for me if I fell asleep while getting him to sleep. Then I'd just wake up and go to my bed while he stayed in his. Baby gate at the bedroom door so he didn't go wandering.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Of course he cries when you put him in his crib... he is used to sleeping next to you! Did you really expect it to be an easy transition? He wants to be next to his mommy.....

I know there are a lot of proponents to co-sleeping, and this is opening a bit of a "can of worms" aspect...you'll get lots of different reactions.

Does he nap in his crib, or do you sleep with him for naps, also?

I really don't have any suggestions..... I didn't do the co-sleep thing.... my kids slept in their own beds.....

The only suggestion I have would be to put him in the crib when he is just drowsy, not asleep..... and maybe sit by his crib, with your hand on his back until he falls asleep, and then gradually move away as he gets used to less and less contact.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

My 18 month old co-sleeps with me but starts out in his crib. I know exactly what you are talking about. For the first 16 months, I would nurse him to sleep and then have to wait 20 minutes for deep sleep to set in to transfer him. After he woke up the first time, rather than go through that again, I would take him to my bed. Then I started trying to teach him to sleep in the crib so I wouldn't have to transfer him. At first I had to get in the crib and pat him (and he still cried a lot in protest,) but then I realized I was breaking the crib (!) so I started putting him in and singing to him and patting him through the slats. Amazingly, in a week, he had learned to sleep in the crib with just some singing. However, he still wakes up after a few hours, and then I take him to my bed. But that's because his room can't be air conditioned. I think maybe if I tried the singing method for a week and didn't take him out he might get used to staying in the crib all night.

I am sure you are going to get a lot of people saying you should have never let him co-sleep in the first place, but I understand, because I was and still am firmly against CIO. This stage won't last forever!

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